₦airaland Forum

Being unemployed can be the worst thing that happens to a man. I know this because I lived it.

The past few years of my life were the worst. Every day felt the same. Every night ended the same. I kept asking myself how I got here and how life could ever change.

At 30, I wanted a new life. But a new life demands new convictions, new habits, new discipline. The fantasy of becoming someone better appealed to me, but the pain of real change felt too heavy to carry.

I lived with my girlfriend then. I had lost my job two years earlier. I wanted more from life, but every attempt led back to nothing. Each new day felt worse than the last. I was determined to make it my best year, yet my faith weakened daily. I could see it in her eyes — she was losing faith in me. She loved me, but love has limits.

I prayed harder. I ran from one Christian program to another — Hallelujah Challenge, NSPPD — chasing a miracle. I made countless New Year resolutions, set goals I never followed through on. Life slowly lost its colour. Everything turned grey.

Time passed. She got tired. She left. I moved out and found a tiny room to call home. That was when I slowly began to give in to my mind and body.

It started with masturbation — telling myself it helped me sleep. Then it grew. I started Drinking, and it became comfort. Smoking followed. Then sports betting. Whatever little savings I had went into feeding my urges.

I knew it was wrong. But I continued in it. It was better than sitting with regret, rereading old chats with my ex, or confronting my choices, I sank deeper into decadence.

I kept telling myself: one more drink, one more bet, one more puff — it never killed anyone.

But bad habits compound.

And in the end, they don’t just form habits , they form a bad life. The bad life I am living.

On the bus I travelled were women and older men. A little distance into Benin city, I saw them — immediately I knew something could happen ,something would happen. 

Park! Screamed one of the policemen to the driver — he obeyed, no hesitations. Three or four more policemen quickly joined him, their eyes incessantly scanning for a prospective clueless victim... I was that victim! 

"You! Come down!", One pointed out at me, "infact!, make all of una come down". I came down... They all came down. Two of the men walked onto me — one searched through my bag, saw my laptop.. He smiled, I could tell he had a hard on. In a haste, He asked the driver and the other passengers to get going. They left, leaving me behind. 

"you be yahoo boi?",

 "ehen!? If I be yahoo boi nko" 

I had said so with little thought.. Right there was my first mistake. 

He quickly whistled to others, "carry dis one meet oga".  I met the supposed oga; he tried to turn the PC on, the battery was down. Seeing an opportunity.. He had checked my phone, saw nothing implicating.

They left me standing for a while, Time was passing by, so I asked "wetin una want exactly? ". 
"Na now you dey talk" , the oga said gleefully. "just drop 800k, you fit comot". He could my face, on it was the "you're not serious" look.

"oya, oya, make am 500". I stared further and asked, " I be like person wey get 500k?". He smiled and said, "you na boss na, you wey be azaman". I was angry, but patient, I just wanted everything to end. 

I felt fear initially, but now there was a bit of calm in me, it was obvious all they wanted was money. So we negotiated, until we came to a price of about 170k.
I told them, "send me account", they said "noooo, go meet that pos woman". They knew transferring to an account would implicate them, so two other officers escorted me to the POS, I withdrew. Right there the two officers kept pleading for "their share", in their words: "na we help you beg oga o". I getting exhausted, so I gave them 5k each. 
When I took the cash back to the Oga, he smiled, sang praises to me, praises no one has ever given me. He ushered all his men into their trucks. Work don close for that day.

They placed me in the front seat, drove me straight down to my junction. While on the drive, they tried indulging me in a conversation, I reluctantly answered... I was angry, I was pissed!

I woke up this morning, angry and pissed.. The figures on my bank app was on the negative side. I sat up, and my mind drifts back to that day in 2023, it was fresh in my head again, like it just happened. 
I thought to myself, "if to say that money dey my account now ehn", . 


Angry and pissed I was, and that was how the rest of my day was ruined.

Should have been Salah's year but PSG swept through last season. This is for HAKIMI

I hope you try talking to someone, take good care of yourself, pray and get close to God(I know it ain't easy). Most men deal with addiction of some sorts too, it's not easy at all. So stay strong and keep trying. The best way to go is to reduce how often you do these things, and find other things that could take your time or space, sports, or maybe start donating to an orphanage (it helps). Building new habits and steadily the old ones will fade away. But it's not going to be easy at all, it takes a lot of commitment. Fight the battle one day at a time, and if you fall, try shaking it up and continue fighting even if you keep falling, try to keep fighting. You can overcome. I believe in you sir.

Well done man

Roycemadeit:

What Would I Do If I Caught My Wife in Bed With Another Man?

These days, we’ve heard it over and over — people sharing how they caught their partner, even on the matrimonial bed, with someone else. And almost every time, the relationship breaks.

So if you ask me, “What would you do if you caught your wife in bed with another man?” — here’s my answer.

First, let me make one thing clear: I’m not insecure. I don’t measure myself by other people’s standards. I don’t project insecurities that I don’t have. I’m a secure person. So my response isn't coming from fear, jealousy, or wounded pride — it's coming from principle and self-respect.

Now, for most people, catching a partner cheating stings deeply. Not just because of the act, but because of what it represents — that you weren’t chosen, that you weren’t enough. And then the mind begins to wander: Is the other person richer, better-looking, more confident, or more “satisfying”? But honestly, those details don’t even matter.

Because for me, it’s about trust.

If I were to walk in and find my wife with someone else, I don’t think I’d argue or shout. I wouldn’t even ask for explanations. I’d just walk away. Because once trust is broken like that — not just in secrecy but in intimacy — the bond is already gone.


Look, nobody’s perfect. No one can meet every single need of another person. We're human, we evolve, we get tired, and sometimes our desires shift. That’s understandable. But that’s why we talk. That’s why communication exists. If something isn’t working, speak up. That’s what builds trust.

But if you can’t talk to me — your partner — and instead you sleep with someone else behind my back, then that tells me all I need to know. You don’t value the relationship enough to protect its core: honesty.

So no, I wouldn’t want to know why. I wouldn’t care if it was “my fault.” Because if something was wrong, you had the option to be open — and you chose betrayal instead. And for me, that’s where it ends.

Where trust dies, love cannot survive. And no matter how secure I am — and believe me, I am — I will never stay in a space where deception is normalised, and dignity is compromised.

So, yes. If I caught my wife in bed with another man, that would be the end. Not because I feel inferior — but because I know my worth.

Welldone for this nice write up. God bless you sir

Rest well sir

I would say the OP is wise. It was so dirty watching both games we played against Ghana. I think we would have done better if Eguaveon never listened to people but played his preferred line up in Abuja. Nevertheless, our problem was never Eguaveon, it has always been Amaju Pinnick. That man has become a failure. He had better sack this Peseiro, and resign from his position. We need a new start, and we need it now

Following

Unfortunately, I'm in Benin. How much is the PS4 PRO?

elvisco44:
Having ps4 games like this isn't bad

Available on hacked ps4, ps4 slim and ps4 pro.


Please call or whatsapp.
080.2.3.9.4.6.1.40

seunloveporn:
What of youtube?




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-fPEHUqhyA

I'm just seeing this. Damn! Nigeria is this bad? And this useless government is sanctioning media houses for saying the truth. Nigeria is gone

seunloveporn:
What of youtube?




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-fPEHUqhyA

I'm just seeing this. Damn! Nigeria is this bad? And this useless government is sanctioning media houses for saying the truth.

Good news for both South Africa and Nigeria although SA are doing more in women football. I was shocked to see our female team coached by a white man. The man didn't look like he had things figured out during that last match against SA. let's see how our girls perform today. I hope Asisat gets this even though she's out of the WAFCON tournament. She had a great season with Barcelona, I don't think this year's tournament will be used as a yardstick for the CAF best player until next year .

I'm seeing a dude I used to school with in Uniben amongst the four techno workers wearing blue. Proud of you man!

Why not stick to the topic at hand? Should the negativity in our country stop us from talking about the negativity affecting us in other countries?

Gerrard59:
A citizen of a country where two ethnic groups are at loggerheads online because their kinsmen are presidential candidates is asking a question on how racism affects Nigerians in China - a way more prosperous society than his.


The jokes write themselves.

Thank you for this. I was thinking about ways to reply those messages just to clarify my stance. Even though I understand what they mean, but I do feel the effect of racism in a foreign country is much more different than the effect of tribalism here in Nigeria. For example : I have seen where tribal differences cost some people job opportunity just as racism would, but all tribes in Nigeria share a toilet, they share a seat next to each other on a bus and so many other instances like you already gave

CanadaOrBust:
OP this is not true. There is something about racism that touches the soul. Tribalism is only “skin deep”, so to speak. A Yoruba guy does not feel superior to an Igbo guy. A Yoruba guy will not refuse to sit near an Igbo guy in train or bus. An Igbo guy will feel nothing about having a Yoruba guy move into the neighborhood or even next door. A Yoruba guy will not stand up when an Igbo guy sits down next to him on the train or bus. A bunch of Igbo guys will not keep standing when there are open seats next to a Yoruba guy but quickly sit down once a sit opens up next to a fellow Igbo guy. In the particular case of China, a bunch of Yoruba guys will not stylishly cover their noses when close to an Igbo guy or when an Igbo guy passes, etc...

Thank God you came out of this unscathed. God bless you man. Just be more careful next time. Really wish Nigerians were more cautious about their parking style even when a vehicle develops fault

PALAPALA02:
I understand i have my own faults. I got distracted by the google map on my phone.

But was the truck meant to park on the speedlane. And even if it developed a fault, he ought to have used his caution sign and double pointer, atleast that could have alerted me earlier to what was infront of me.

Modified
I’m not downplaying the fact that i was wrong in certain aspect, but i feel more of the blame should have been on the driver for being careless by not taking the appropriate steps to prevent an accident.

A car / truck or whatever can breakdown at anytime, so that’s where the safety kits of the vehicle comes into use. And the driver used none. If he had placed the caution sign atleast 150m from the truck, probably if i had hit that first, that would have prompted me quicker to raise my face and possibly avert the collision. That was my argument with the police. But they kept saying i was wrong to have hit a vehicle from behind. That it shows I wasn’t focused on my driving and completely neglecting the careless driver.

I just carried my cross and left. Atleast I’m not at the hospital treating a fractured bone or internal bleeding or anything at all.


Well in all, i just thank God for giving me a 2nd shot at life

How? Where was it recorded that Joseph had intercourse with Potiphar's wife?

luizpippo:
Joseph and Potiphar's wife?

Hello all.

I was busy going through quora when an article caught my attention. The article was about racism, but specifically in China. While the article isn't of much relation to this, it made me wonder. Thus I wish to learn from those with experiences or stories to share. While Nigerians abroad are seen as though they're living the best life, they might leave out the unpleasant encounters just because of their skin colour, something quite prevalent in varying white societies. I wish to know more about RACISM and it's effects on our people over there. So here's to those overseas, have you ever had an encounter with a racist?, lost something/position cause of your skin colour, ever denied an opportunity or delayed cause of your colour. I will be looking forward to the replies.

Call any of your family members to coms stay with you for a while. If you have a sister or cousin.

Olarhhh:
I and my husband live in a mini flat (a room and parlor self contain) and since the very day we got the place early last year, his younger brother has been living with us because he fought with their father and my husband told him to come over to his place (we weren't married then but live together) so he continued living with us till he went to school last year November, and we were both happy that we can finally have our own privacy.

Meanwhile my husband has a very nosy family, different family member keep coming to visit Everytime and spending up to 2 weeks until I change attitude to them and make them leave.

Fast forward to December, a month after his brother left, the parents called to let his sister move with us, hubby declined but his family won't budge so he accepted.

Now hubby has travelled abroad and the sister wouldn't leave, I don't know what to do, she doesn't do anything here and she's rude. I want her to leave, I've tried stopping all the comfort she enjoys when her brother was around.

Please help

That's not a pant but a garter ffs! Why do y'll publish rubbish?

Yes... It works

Adewale1603:
that hp folio, hope the cooling fan was working?

They are apps though

Bimpe29:
Chrome and calculator aren't App though.

WHATSAPP.. CHROME... INSTAGRAM... CALL APP... BOOM PLAYER

Who be this again

Truer words have hardly been spoken

AfroKnight:
Shameful actions by shameless agents.

They can treat a former governor like this, who is a card carrying member of the APC! Okay, imagine how they would treat you an ordinary citizen.

Now you know that no amount wealth can save you from indignity in Nigeria. No matter your affluence, police can still harm your reputation and your body and they will get away with it.

This country is governed by crime lords.

Some people say they will choose Nigeria always even when opportunity to leave comes their way. I laugh cos that money they think they will make by sharp practices here, it will not save them!

It won’t save them when Nigerian soldiers flog their wives or shoot their children. That money will not save them when EFCC breaks into their hotel room while naked in bed. That money will not save them from stray bullets or daylight traffic robbery while police officers look on, collecting egunje at a nearby bus stop as robbers go from car to car.

Your wealth is only useful when the systemic incompetence of the country hasn’t chosen you as the next victim. But don’t hold your breath.

I'm going to make this as simple as I can, OP, YOU ARE A VERY WICKED PERSON .

VictorUSA:
This was the message I sent to my uncle who lives in America and he sent me just N30,000.

"Good morning uncle...I first of all appreciate your previous assistance.But I want to tell you that it's not enough.I'm 19 and jobless, but I really need money.I would appreciate anything that comes from you."

As a Chelsea fan, I've lost hope on this and will be shocked if we can pull a good result but still... Chelsea! We move

You dey mind all these troublesome Nigerians. She was clearly referring to Osimhen but evil people go just turn matter upside-down

stano2:
Some people like trouble.
It's so clear to the eyes and brain that Asisat was referring to Osihmen as werey and not Victor Ikpeaba

Did I see correctly or was Nigeria at 29? As as how?

Recent wetin? You call early 2000's recent?

Amotolongbo:
These were still recent biscuits ....

Mine na short cake by Okin

Hello house, please I'll need good suggestions. About a two months ago, I got an HP Folio 9470m at the fee of 120k. The problem I have with it is that it overheats after an hour of usage. Please, can you guys suggest a good laptop under 200k? I'm not one that knows much about laptops and it's specifications but if it's an 8gb ram, and 500gb rom, then I'm fine with it. It should have good graphics as well and a strong battery . I look forward to your suggestions. Thanks in advance.