₦airaland Forum

Bluezy13:
Long lifespan!!


OP,
20 people in an enclosed space of 1 room and 1 person in an enclosed space of 20 rooms, which will survive longer??

You have your answer.

I understand but what about a community where you're the richest. Everyone gets to know you and see you than a community where you are just average

Bluezy13:
Long lifespan!!

I didn't see this coming

dingbang:
Small fish in a big water

Why if I may ask

Please Nairalanders, I don't really know where to post this but I need an answer to this question.
Which would you prefer to be "A big fish in a small water or a small fish in a big water"
Please I need answers with reason. Thank you

.

More

More pictures

I just saw this and decided to share it

[color=#990000][/color]

BiggerbossAmani:
Remember which book this statement is from and win #5000

So many people say,
“Oh, I’m not
interested in money.”
Yet they’ll work
at a job for
eight hours a day.

The Rich dad poor dad

Really can't wait to watch the full movie

B

Just incase it gets to the promise land

I can't stop laughing especially at SLAP IS A RESET MECHANISM

@op, I just wanna tell you that he can't do anything. If you were to be my sister, I will personally deal with him. Is he mad or what. Tell him that I said the next time he will threaten you with any alfa that I will personally deal with him.
You can't eat your cake and have it

***JUST FOR LAUGHS*** --------------------------------------------- ------------------- A woman took her very sick husband to see a doctor: Doctor: (says confidentially to wife) If you want your husband to survive, give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant and in a good mood always, don't fight, cook tasty dinners and don't discuss your problems with him. Stop watching TV shows, no Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp,Twitter, or any other social media. Don't demand for money or new jewelries. Oh, and even in his current state of weakness, give him sex at least 3 times a day,7 days a week. If you can do all these for one year, your husband will be Ok.......... On their way home, the husband asks his wife; Husband: So what did the doctor say? Wife: he says your survival is not possible. --------------------------------------------- ---------------- Have a great day everyone!

***JUST FOR LAUGHS***
---------------------------------------------
-------------------
A woman took her very sick husband to see a doctor:
Doctor: (says confidentially to wife) If you want your husband to survive, give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant and in a good mood always, don't fight, cook tasty dinners and don't discuss your problems with him.
Stop watching TV shows, no Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp,Twitter, or any other social media. Don't demand for money or new jewelries. Oh, and even in his current state of weakness, give him sex at least 3 times a day,7 days a week. If you can do all these for one year, your husband will be Ok..........
On their way home, the husband asks his wife;
Husband: So what did the doctor say?
Wife: he says your survival is not possible.
---------------------------------------------
----------------
Have a great day everyone!

***JUST FOR LAUGHS***
---------------------------------------------
-------------------

A woman took her very sick husband to see a doctor:
Doctor: (says confidentially to wife) If you want your husband to survive, give him healthy breakfast daily, be pleasant and in a good mood always, don't fight, cook tasty dinners and don't discuss your problems with him.
Stop watching TV shows, no Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp,Twitter, or any other social media. Don't demand for money or new jewelries. Oh, and even in his current state of weakness, give him sex at least 3 times a day,7 days a week. If you can do all these for one year, your husband will be Ok..........
On their way home, the husband asks his wife;
Husband: So what did the doctor say?
Wife: he says your survival is not possible. ---------------------------------------------
----------------
Have a great day everyone!

AMERICAN POLICE
In America, A lady reported a rape case between her and her boyfriend to the police...

Lady(crying) : good morning officer, my Boyfriend raped me seriously.

Policemen: oh, we are deeply sorry for that, we are gonna take this matter serious, its against the law here.....

NIGERIAN POLICEMEN
A lady reported a rape case between her and her boyfriend...

Lady: officer my boyfriend rape me ooo, i don die ooo

Policemen: chaiii, na serious matter oo, em.... Sargent Okoro, abeg bring statement make she write everything wey happen. .....
.....
Ehen, wetin happen

Lady: i went to see this my boyfriend and he seriously raped me, and....

Policeman: calm down, calm down, write am down!

The lady writes it....

Policeman: around what time?

Lady: eh, we first went to the club, we drank, we ate, we danced, so after the club we now went to his place...

Policeman: around when?

Lady: 3am

Policeman (surprised): 3? 3am? U go him house? Oya write am.

The lady writes it down......

Lady: officer i was in his house and....

Policeman: you go your own house?

Lady: No

Policeman: oh, you go him house?

Lady: yes

Policeman: put am for paper.

The lady writes it.....

Policeman: so as you reach em house wetin come happen?

Lady: eh, as we went to his house, i removed my clothes and went to shower....

Policeman: oh, u baf? You baf for man house? You remove your cloth for him bedroom?

Lady: yes!

Policeman: write am down!

Lady writes it.....

Policeman: ehen, wen you baf finish, wetin come happen?

Lady: eh, when i baf finish, i lie down for him bed.

Policeman: eh? Oh for him guest room?

Lady: no officer, in his room off course.

Policeman: oh, in his room? Wetin u wear?

Lady: his t-shirt.

Policeman: oh, u wear him shirt? U wear pant?

Lady: pant? Haba no na officer, just his shirt

Policeman: (shouts) Oh, you no wear pant? For man house? You wicked, write am down!!! .
. .
. .
. . .
. To be Continued...lol

AMERICAN POLICE
In America, A lady reported a rape case between her and her boyfriend to the police...

Lady(crying) : good morning officer, my Boyfriend raped me seriously.

Policemen: oh, we are deeply sorry for that, we are gonna take this matter serious, its against the law here.....

NIGERIAN POLICEMEN
A lady reported a rape case between her and her boyfriend...

Lady: officer my boyfriend rape me ooo, i don die ooo

Policemen: chaiii, na serious matter oo, em.... Sargent Okoro, abeg bring statement make she write everything wey happen. .....
.....
Ehen, wetin happen

Lady: i went to see this my boyfriend and he seriously raped me, and....

Policeman: calm down, calm down, write am down!

The lady writes it....

Policeman: around what time?

Lady: eh, we first went to the club, we drank, we ate, we danced, so after the club we now went to his place...

Policeman: around when?

Lady: 3am

Policeman (surprised): 3? 3am? U go him house? Oya write am.

The lady writes it down......

Lady: officer i was in his house and....

Policeman: you go your own house?

Lady: No

Policeman: oh, you go him house?

Lady: yes

Policeman: put am for paper.

The lady writes it.....

Policeman: so as you reach em house wetin come happen?

Lady: eh, as we went to his house, i removed my clothes and went to shower....

Policeman: oh, u baf? You baf for man house? You remove your cloth for him bedroom?

Lady: yes!

Policeman: write am down!

Lady writes it.....

Policeman: ehen, wen you baf finish, wetin come happen?

Lady: eh, when i baf finish, i lie down for him bed.

Policeman: eh? Oh for him guest room?

Lady: no officer, in his room off course.

Policeman: oh, in his room? Wetin u wear?

Lady: his t-shirt.

Policeman: oh, u wear him shirt? U wear pant?

Lady: pant? Haba no na officer, just his shirt

Policeman: (shouts) Oh, you no wear pant? For man house? You wicked, write am down!!! .
. .
. .
. . .
. To be Continued...lol

FACEBOOK FEE

Chux's Mum joined facebook five days ago. This evening she started complaining to Chux, "Chux this facebook registration is eating off my money o!".

"Mummy I don't understand, how?". Chux asked.

She sighed and said, "Since when I told your younger sister Jessica to register me to facebook, it's money upon money I'm spending".
Chux was confused, and didn't understand what his mum was talking about. But after a while he got a clue and then asked,
"Oh, okay, mummy it's Megabyte that is eating off your money!".

She raised eye brows and said, "Ah Chux, which one is Megabyte na? I hope I'm not going to go pay for that one o, because I've paid ..

10,000 Naira for chatting permit,

12,000 Naira for friend request fee, .

4,000 Naira for posting fee,

8,000 Naira for profile picture permit and this evening again, your sister has said that facebook said
I should bring 6,000 Naira for international facebook passport.

I'm tired Chux, is this how you people spend money on that thing?"

lawrenceunaa:
If buhari can say this and show it with action, then I will advocate for one nigeria .but now all hail

#Biafra

"before i came to biafra,i was told that
biafrans fought like heroes but now i know that heroes
fight like biafrans"raymond offroy,french ambassador

FACEBOOK FEE


Chux's Mum joined facebook
five days ago. This evening she
started complaining to Chux,
"Chux this facebook registration
is eating off my money o!".


"Mummy I don't understand,
how?". Chux asked.


She sighed and said, "Since when
I told your younger sister Jessica
to register me to facebook, it's
money upon money I'm
spending".

Chux was confused, and didn't
understand what his mum was
talking about. But after a while
he got a clue and then asked,

"Oh, okay, mummy it's
Megabyte that is eating off your
money!".


She raised eye brows
and said, "Ah Chux, which one is
Megabyte na? I hope I'm not
going to go pay for that one o,
because I've paid ..


10,000 Naira
for chatting permit,


12,000 Naira
for friend request fee, .


4,000 Naira for posting fee,


8,000 Naira for profile picture
permit
and this evening again, your
sister has said that facebook said
I should bring 6,000 Naira for
international facebook passport.


I'm tired Chux, is this how you
people spend money on that
thing?"

"To forgive terrorists is up to God, but to send them to Him is up to me" -Vladimir Putin, Russian President . What do you think about this?

"before i came to biafra,i was told that biafrans fought like heroes but now i know that heroes fight like biafrans"raymond offroy,french ambassador

"before i came to biafra,i was told that biafrans fought like heroes but now i know that heroes fight like biafrans"raymond offroy,french ambassador

LOL...FROM A NIGERIAN YOUTH!
Just incase my future husband happens to be reading this. This is 2015 and I am tired of tarrying for Mr Right. However, I currently have 13 requirements he must meet.
1. His name must not be Emeka, Donatus or Theopholius, Linus, Sunday, Monday, Pius, Amos, Musa, Friday, Silas, Okon, Paulinus, Oghene.
2. He must not have a beer or fufu pot belly. This particular requirement is subjective depending on the circumstances surrounding the mystery of his big belly.
3. He must not be an alcoholic or a smoker.
4. He must not chew food like a screenmucher (VERY IMPORTANT)
5. He must not be traditional. Remember Mr Ken in Nollywood’s Mr and Mrs? I don’t want to be making fresh moi moi three times a day. I need a stress free man in like the man in indomie commercial that goes gaga anytime he sees noodles.
6. He must dress responsibly. I don’t want any babe to mistake my husband for Wizkid or Iceprince.
7. He must not snore loudly. I don’t want our house vibrate at night. If he must, let him snore me a lullaby.
8. He must have zero culinary skills. I don’t want some guy asking me why he is tasted maggi in the stew instead of royco. I can cook good enough for us.
9. He must be generous. I have forgotten how to make N75 soup.
10. He must NOT wear dreadlocks. Abeg, abeg, mopping sticks are still cheap in the market. No offence.
11. He must eat decent meals. I don’t want a man that thinks its okay to drink garri with boiled egg. My neighbour during my NYSC days was a savage.
12. He must not sleep with his eyes open. My best friend’s boyfriend is guilty of this. Believe me, wizards dey for this world.
13. Above all, he must be God fearing.
This is my list as at January 2015. Number 13 is the only constant prerequisite. I had to cry into the WC the day I crossed out tall, dark and handsome from my list which used to be my No1 criteria. As at January 2013, the list numbered 36 but I usually erase off one number off every 30 days of delay.
I’m just hoping this list won’t be blank before he eventually shows up.
So help me God. Amen

This one wey u don update. Na till tomorrow. ''Next time on ur award winning super story''

I'm not happy with PMB, he has betrayed Suleiman Hashimu...the guy who trekked from Lagos to Abuja by appointing another person as the minister of transport. . Anyway, thank God he did if not all for dey trek go work...una wey dey Oshodi go dey trek go Ketu, Una wey dey Area 1 go dey trek go Zuba... If you won go home for Christmas now from Maiduguri to Lagos, na to start your journey around May...LOL