₦airaland Forum

babacha:
Caucasian was not joking, he/she mean business. He/she join nairaland on february 8 2015, so he is actually new. Read through his/her post on "chams management trainee aptitude test, CITA Petroleum Aptitude Test Invitation" and other job thread and see dat he/she is badly in need of job and he/she is ready to do anything. He/she come to the wrong thread to tell people dat he/she need a sex job, this is not a place for sex worker or sex talk

Nna ehhhh(forgive my ghetto mood)....
When I first read that post, I was like...eayaa...and logged out. I checked back online later and discovered that nobody has commented(unlike NNPC Nairalanders...so sympathetic and emmotionally intelligent...dour! Some with their Ph.D.)
I read through the post again word for word and was like OMG!

babacha:
Caucasian was not joking, he/she mean business. He/she join nairaland on february 8 2015, so he is actually new. Read through his/her post on "chams management trainee aptitude test, CITA Petroleum Aptitude Test Invitation" and other job thread and see dat he/she is badly in need of job and he/she is ready to do anything. He/she come to the wrong thread to tell people dat he/she need a sex job, this is not a place for sex worker or sex talk

Nna ehhhh(forgive my ghetto mood)....
When I first read that post, I was like...eayaa...and logged out. I checked back online later and discovered that nobody has commented(unlike NNPC Nairalanders...so sympathetic and emmotionally intelligent...dour! Some with their Ph.D.)
I read through the post again word for word and was like OMG!

Topiipii:
You've said it all. While the joke may or may not be funny to all, making an issue out of it is even more unserious in my opinion. This is a public forum, the best response would have been to ignore (as you rightly pointed out) rather than dedicate over two pages of a topic to a 49-word comment (yes, I counted).

So right....full of wisdom...
Noted for next time

scarletdp:
Well I for one do not think anyone has the right to come here and tell us wat we all should n must be discussing. That's why it's a thread filled with different sets of people. Sieve through, pick up what you want. I dislike the "pls send to my email" crew but I understand why they do them. You wan this thread to strictly be for interview questions n aids. I dont even think there is anything anyone can tell you here that you wouldnt find on the internet if you search well enough.Did anyone see the NLNG thread? My goodness, that thread had it all. Movies quotes crew, some even fell in luv, fights, the ITKs, the politics crew. Some went as far as taking snap shots of questions while people solved n posted the pix of their solving with answer. *sigh*

Guess the 2014 Nairaland thread of the year. Yeah that's right, the NLNG thread.

If we judge people by their intention n not their actions, the world would be a better place.

Yeah....well said...all of the activities U listed about the NLNG thread are so welcome on this thread of ours...
The point is, be ur bros keeper...crack ur jokes, do everything U so desire and I in turn, will do mine(like I ve been doing)...but let us be sensitive about others...

My unsolicited opinion by d way.

allendk:
Being funny is okay, but d dude just went way out of line,besides I for one,come to this thread on Nairaland hoping to get recent info on the Nnpc recruitment exercise,when I am log on and find new comments I get excited, but to find ppl arguing about grammar n stuffs unconnected,it gets disappointing, considering my numerous materials I have to study in my daily endeavour,when I read a joke within context, its ok n one of those things. But when d joke is twisted, it only makes me wonder, esp what to expect next.

Yeah I feel U...

Goodkidd:
He's not part of the recruitment but he's following the thread becos of his brother. He also found out from senior management dat the recruitment is on hold. One would ask, where is his brother in all of this? A zombie? In Pluto? Confusion is the greatest weapon of a liar. I dont believe that screenshot. Global oil prices have not changed since Pcl sent the interview text. If I'm not mistaking, oil price was even worse when they invited us for the test.
I wonder why people get the kick from being negative. It's no longer about buhari cancelling the exercise, now it's about oil price. I suspect some aggrieved elements who didn't even get invited for the interview are using this period as payback time to spew negativity and dampen the hopes of others. If the recruitment is cancelled, yall would like that wont u? Please if u have no update about the exercise, donot come here to speculate negativity.

That was so unGoodkidd.

Switlife:
I used to assume that many Nairalanders are so young, approx. 16-21 yrs. These days I suspect some are roughly 3-11 months.

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

But why?

Threemg:
Bros u wanna read through the lines of what he screen printed "RECRUITMENT EXERCISE" will continue of which we've the EH, GT and OT. Gapish
It's well

Yeah...noted and tnx...

By d way, I am not a 'bros'... I am a full fledged woman...

DouglasHoc:
I saw this on another thread. Happy Easter guys

Yeah but that thread is for ETs...anyways lets keep faith

Topiipii:
It seems we have the most serious thread on nairaland right here. For those who have forgotten how to laugh, please contact your dentist for N-2-O.

ok

allendk:
I cant believe this,are you really in need of a job or you are giving a shot at being funny. well, i will admit you almost got me fooled that you were among the employable Nigerians with your initial please for help,but for your last phrase. My suggestion is since you have your mind on your kind of job already,you should seek a forum where you can meet like minded perverts like you,while this forum is for job seekers,we do not welcome discussions that are outside the nnpc.

Exactly my point....dis is nnpc recruitment forum...we re open to jokes also...just not that type...in asmuch Naira land doesn't reveal so much about our identity,we should always strive to be at our best...cos what we say or write speaks volumes about us.
Some people here find it amusing...fine and I respct that...but they should also acknowledge that some people esp myself find such irritating and downright disgusting...that doesn't make me a sadist or mean in any way...just saying we should behave mature and exhibit some level of self discipline...

A word is enough even for a lunatic...please let us be guided...feel me?...

Caucasian:
Please my fellow landers. I want to use this podium to express my dire need of a job. Am relatively new here. I really need a good job. You guys should help me in fact with any job. I will manage any kind of job. Even a blo job

Jesus holy Christ! U outa ur mind? Pls respect us...take dis trash outa here lest U be damned...respect urself as well

My igbo bros and sis...lets learn from this maka next time...lets say no to selfish politics

http://247nigerianewsupdate.co/nigeria-2015-a-big-lesson-for-the-igbo-by-chukwuemerie-uduchukwu/

Check out dis

http://247nigerianewsupdate.co/jonathan-is-not-a-hero-oby-ezekwesili/

KingTom:
E still dey pain this one!
Sai Buhari jare!

Yeah...dats the spirit...its about time.
Sao Buhari!!!

KingTom:
Imagine if Abokisss storm aso rock, and block airports, dem go use Mama piss big nyash do suya o

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

EverestdeBliu:
From how u speak,I can deduce u stay in the south; relocate to the north so can feel the heat n learn how to appreciate peace n men of peace.

Maybe...still for what its worth...the praise is plenty. GMB deserves more for being the CHANGE messiah and God almighty the most for willing it...GEJ has done his part(so they said) for conceding...so y render so much praises on him...abeg! Seems undeserving...my opinion...he is not our hero...he is simply our helpless and hopeless messiah.

EverestdeBliu:
E dey pain u?
Do you know the mayhem that would have been unleashed if he'd not?

Pls educate me...what mayhem and by whom...see all those re empty claims he or they(the mayhem planners if at all) can't do more than a dead rat.

All these congratulatory msgs to GEJ just for conceding is too much...its becoming plastic believe me... I think d man of d moment is GMB...be as it may...mind U, GEJ had no choice...its either concede or get out...period!

I thought we were waiting for nnpc/pcl... I mean...what has the wait got to do with the election or change of government.
Please lets not be too much in a haste...left to me, I would prefer it holds after the handover...corruption free era...smell me...winks...

daniberry:
, . Read up:::: I hope thıs makes u smıle.
I fell in love with this cute, damsel, Lovely sister and
everything was going on fine until i made
my intention known to her father & being
a learned man, here is what he gave me:

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY
DAUGHTER.

FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN
HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS

I _______________ hereby apply to marry
your daughter Miss____________. I am _____
years old.

Please answer the following questions
honestly.

1. Are you a Christian ? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No
4. Are you working? Yes/No
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No

If your answer to any of the above
questions is NO, do not continue. Leave my
house and don't look back.

If all your answers were YES, Then
continue...
1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in marriage.
__________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
___________________________________________

2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain how
you can give respect to your father in- law
and mother in-law.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

3. Suppose your wife says "Honey, I need
money for my hair at the saloon", what
would be your answer ?
__________________________________

4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

5. What does the term 'good husband'
mean to you?
_____________________________________
_____________________________________

6.Do you have both dad and mum
together? Yes/No
If No explain why?
_________________________________________

7.Were your parents legally married? Yes/No
If YES for how long?________________________
If the time of their marriage is less than
your age,
Explain why you were born out of
wedlock. _____________________________________
_____________________________________

8. Explain the meaning of ''COME HOME
EARLY"
As used by women (100 words)
__________________________________________
_____________________________________________
______________________

9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a
man to sleep outside his
house.
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

10. In case of divorce, Who do you think is
the owner of the kids between father and
mother?
_________________________________________

Answer the following
by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No
3. Are you short- tempered? Yes/No

LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT

1. When can you be free for
interviews?
______________________________
2. When is the best time to interview
your dad?____________________
3. When can I interview your mum?
______________________________
4. When can I interview your congregation Elders?
____________________________________
5. Please stick your passport size photo
below which will be put in the newspaper
to check if you have other girlfriends.
Sign here: ________________
Sign again: _______________

Thank you for showing interest in my
daughter. Your application will be
processed in a year's time.

You will be acknowledged only if you
emerge successful.

As you are waiting,
*Please don't call me!
*Don't visit me!
*Don't contact my daughter!
If u do, you will be disqualified!
Leave your details in case I need to ask you
more questions;

Postal Address: _________________________
Email: __________________________________
Phone: _________________________________
Home:__________________________________
Facebook: ______________________________

BEST WISHES

Lol...for where...d man shld get ready to marry his own daughter kwanu

Eruditor:
Mon Bebe, I concurred wholeheartedly with QED1. I quoted his post to highlight the areas that he stressed that some people on here probably oversaw.

Hope you are good.

aiit...dats k....am gud by d way...

Eruditor:
"I finished work in the exams. My best section was the verbal reasoning". "Many mail on the way" "More texts will be sent" etc.

Some of the things you hear and read from people. We have put it to the test on this thread and we have seen all such pseudo-bravado fall like a pack of cards.

Excerpts from what QED1 said:

1. Oil and Gas doesn't necessarily require English (emphasis mine)

2. Even if you don't need it for the job...WORK ON YOURSELF.

Yet 4 people endorsed the post of the other guy who would rather settle for mediocrity.

How Good is Deziani's English? Dr. Dawha's? Bernard Otti's? Other GED's? Are you more technical than they are? Yet they added good grammar to their technical-skills and you would rather settle for just the latter. You are planning well indeed.

Maturity includes (but isn't limited to) being able to use your tongue to count your teeth.
#MakeOfThatWhatYouWill

Eruditor darling...i think am lost...or kinda missed d point...re U concurring or contradicting....
Pls bring me to order...smiles....but QED is sure on point...

[quote author=knightsTempler post=31627134]Buhari always wins online, and I'll not be surprise if he wins this poll.

But when the die is cast Jonathan will carry the day. [/quote



U just implied GEJ will rig d polls...dats our fear...coz we want free and fair election

KINGTELLER:
Thank u for the info, point of correction basic is not 250k... As for increament of sal, u are also correct...The figure u supply is for SS6... Have u got the one for SS7

so wats d basic if not 250k...then wat...

masonkz:
Thank you. Good to know that someone else has also had something to do with Hyson. was there for a month for some consulting ish sometime two years back.

To whomever else it may concern, the fact that something is one NNPC's site doesn't make it overly true. Do some more research if you wanna wow your judges. The judges sure wouldn't go reading their own website while asking you questions.


Good day.

Really....wuld dey give a damn...i guess not...JV or subsidiary....wat they re after is ...y shld we hire U....SIMPLE...so if U like cram the encyclopaedia of nnpc and U can't prove to them y U re d better choice...that's it...ve been told d interview is CV based...

dapsy06:
I like it when people engage in intellectual discuss for the purpose of learning or impacting knowledge. However, I find it disdainful if people see such a platform as an avenue to show an order of superiority in vocabulary. I believe such people should do well to express their vocabulary expertise in literary works rather than on fellow forum members and trust me, it's a lucrative business.
Furthermore, I'm sure it has been made clear by NNPC that they have F joint venture partners and hyson and duke are definitely not amongst the six. However, hyson and duke oil are listed as subsidiaries. Having said that, I would like to state, the fact that they are subsidiaries doesn't mean they are owned by NNPC or that NNPC is their parent company. However, been a subsidiary puts them under the control of NNPC.

too bad...u fell victim to ur own assertion...unlike U,my eruditor(even though U didn't mention his name here but I knew were refering to him earlier)uses his diction to drive his points home...u instead re into word bickering with UGLYS...d worst is dat U ve resorted to name calling...where re ur manners...believe me, ur comments re so rude...pls lets act wit maturity...

dapsy06:
I like it when people engage in intellectual discuss for the purpose of learning or impacting knowledge. However, I find it disdainful if people see such a platform as an avenue to show an order of superiority in vocabulary. I believe such people should do well to express their vocabulary expertise in literary works rather than on fellow forum members and trust me, it's a lucrative business.
Furthermore, I'm sure it has been made clear by NNPC that they have F joint venture partners and hyson and duke are definitely not amongst the six. However, hyson and duke oil are listed as subsidiaries. Having said that, I would like to state, the fact that they are subsidiaries doesn't mean they are owned by NNPC or that NNPC is their parent company. However, been a subsidiary puts them under the control of NNPC.

yeah...well said...it all depends on how one view things...if for instance U let sbd feel superior...it implies U allowed itself to feel inferior...coz me anybody is free to air his or her view and also agree or disagree wit ppl's views.d way d person chooses to do it too I believe is also allowed...his or her diction is also welcome.


nobody can sit on my back unless I bend it.

Eruditor:
SomBaby, I am the who clicked 'Like' under your post.

gush!...am blushing...lol

Eruditor:
5. There were 3 solutions to the aforementioned problems. a) PSC b) Concessionaire Arrangement c) joint entity. B and C are beyond what is being discussed, so I would talk about only A.

6. PSC is a variant of the JV and it was introduced from 1991 FOR ALL NEW ACREAGES. The major disparity between it and a JV is that in the latter, FG takes 60% of the risk and expenses but in a PSC FG only comes in after the exploration exercise.

7. This implies that all the risks and expenses are shouldered by the MNC until commercial quantities of crude are discovered then FG signs a PSC with the MNC. Now you can see why that talk of 60:40 in ALL E and P activities is vacuous and false. No sensible company will give FG 60% in a PSC for example knowing that FG shouldered a lesser risk. On the flipside, no responsible FG will demand 60% in such an agreement as it would scare off investors.

8. Crude from a PSC are divided into 3 ways: i) cost oil ii) tax oil iii) profit oil.

i) is the cost the company incurred while prospecting and producing. FG lets them make their investment back.
ii) is the fraction from which the MNCs pay their taxes and royalties.
iii) is now the profit aspect of the crude and this is where FG can get a chunk, say 60% of the value.

Cummulatively, one can see that the OVERALL FGs stake cannot be 60%. Also, take note that not all MNCs or indigenous companies use a JV with NNPC. So it is very fallacious for anyone to claim that FG gets 60% of all crude produced.

hmmm...surely nnpc doesn't deserve U coz U re not only d guy after my heart...u re also special...keep it up...smiles...

babacha:
Is only a fool dat drag words with Eruditor, just to tell u, my company is a servicing company to Agip and I spend 14 days at Agip production facility and 14 days in my house. I don't need to know what is JV and PSC before I can tell u dat NNPC own 60% watever any E&P produce. Any way u are just a young graduate who has no field experience so wat is the point of draging words with u

sorry bro...u just referred to urself as a fool...all cos of dis argument...pls U mayb rite but for what it's worth, pls don't loose ur cool or go over d edge just in d name of teaching or learning...mind U...we re also learning...cos I don't knw if I wuld ve dat patience snooping arnd nnpc website.pls keep it up but put down d resentment coz U wuldnt want to get on d other side of my eruditor....u just threw d first punch...pls don't throw another for d sake of peace...

]pls its not pagama...u ve indicated it here more than often..it is panama...ok..