NoToPile:


Sominablack I would advise you this.

Since she has said she doesn't have issues with you and wants the issue resolved so be it.
Does this mean she now loves you? Maybe she has had time to think and appreciates you better now she's been away for 3months, sometimes distance helps. She might just be an immature lady.

That said.

1. Let her tell her family you guys have resolved the issues even if it is informally.

2. After she has told them you guys now have another meeting with the family where you would state that your wife has agreed to come back home to continue living as your wife.

3. I don't get the point of the shop, since she's solving the issues and coming back home why would she need the shop equipped where she is, which I understand is quite far possibly another state from where you are. Whatever business you want to open should be in the area you and your nuclear family lives. You guys should resolve first them move home and open the shop for her.

I hope and pray the resolution goes well.


Thanks notopile, it was within the period she left me she took loan to get the shop which she had already paid for.

nahzyla:
You sound like a soft hearted guy, it's not a bad thing, your type are usually better and more considerate to their wives in marriage.

However it seems your wife is taking advantage of your soft nature, first of all, don't fix her shop without you two reconciling and getting back together, don't let anybody use your head please.

She went to paint a wrong picture of you to her people and made them see you in poor light and she is still giving you terms and conditions before she rights her wrongs and tells the truth?
She has to tell them herself, come back and be a wife fully before you open shop for her because she could change her mind and decide not to return back to your house or even move on with another man after you finish fixing shop.

ezugegere:
Go and see your little angel man!

efficiencie:


Perhaps you didn't read this:

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.

You can take the horse to the river but can't force it to drink. If her mother was invited to the house to see her behavior first hand and the mother disapproves of her behavior and on top of that she was invited to a family meeting and her attitude still doesn't change then it is best he let's her go so that she can enjoy the freedom she is indirectly fighting for. I support the man not heeding the next meeting and allowing the lady do what she wants with her life.

I would also advise the man to remain single for a while to heal, take stock and restrategize. He married a problem and should evaluate himself to know why he was attracted to problem in the first place.

Maverick777:

its a lady...
I noticed too, she's most likely a low-budget feminist...

Maverick777:


trust you to always be bias in your every submission when it comes to gender issues!
if it were to be a lady in this OP's shoes and the roles were reversed, would you have said what you just did?
quit being sentimental, its damages one's mind faster than they think.

NetValueFX:


Honour the meeting

kepstone:
What an effontry and insolence for your wife you paid dowry on her head to say this kind of a word to you. I consider this as the height of disrespect. If my girlfriend ever tells me this I will leave her straight up. One of my Ex began to misbehave and I was asking her why all this nonsense, she kept on giving me attitude. Eventually she said we need to talk, she came to my house and told me she is no longer enjoying the relationship and that she doesn't love me anymore, it won't work. I never bother asking why I had to let her go despite the money I spent on her.
Many months down the lane she came back with tears for us to reconnect and get back together. I blasted her and told her to her face she was busy cheating and she thinks she can take me for a ride. She cried her eyes out, she said it was better I flogged her than the kind of words I used on her. I said really when you were emmitting your bullets from your mouth I kept quiet like a fool and now I decided to react to your nonsense by me speaking you are crying. I told her to get out, Las Las she was pregnant for the guy she was cheating with I closed her chapter. I did same to my Ex recently.. if a woman misbehave and tells you she no love you again Biko move on.. some if this women, they are following them from the spirit world and village. I had a matured lady who was divorce said in tears I wished I never divorced my husband I had a gem and I took it for granted. Now her husband has remarried to a more reasonable and responsible lady and the new wife is enjoying what the Ex wife is supposed to enjoy. The Ex wife is in the street regretting her actions. Many ladies are just so careless and stupid. If your husband did something wrong are you supposed to give him attitude to the point of weaponising sex, what happens to talking to him, sitting him down for a discussion, express yourself and if nothing changes after 3 attempt you can now seek for alternative measures to solve the issue. The husband Mr Op in question has tried to find out what's wrong yet the wife has bottled up her feelings or her hurt, this a case of immaturity from the wife, is not like the husband is not pushing and pursuing for peace, but the wife keep making it difficult.
I had a similar experience with my recent Ex girlfriend who she said I did something to her which brought heated argument, I asked for explanation, I tried to talk to this girl for 2 weeks this babe bone me, not picking my calls, not responding to my chats, I felt very pained I just have to move on and block her out if my life I need peace, this someone who has not really contributed anything to my life yet want to stress it for me. I forgot my investments and I moved in from her.
Op if your wife is not seeing another guy which I doubt if she is not, please just let her be, let her go on a journey of exploration the end of it is just SEX and nothing more and the SEX won't be more than 24 hours no matter how edey sweet her for body.
Some ladies will have responsible guyz and still be messing up.
We Nigerian guyz dey try oooo, I swear.. so our life is now structure to just please a woman all the days if her life living with us. The narrative has to change, men have to wake up to know that they are the price, any lady who is not willing to be under your leadership and headship should not be in your SHIP of marriage or relationship
If you relationship is not been reciprocated by any girl leave her find the one who will equally reciprocate.
You see the reason why some guyz say it's better for a woman to love the man more than the man to love the woman more.
When a woman loves you deeply all this nonsense will not come up..
In Al you do never relenquish your power to her by begging her to stay or to love you. She has drawn the battle line mentally in your mind and your marriage can never be the same because if the word " I have lost love for you" Kai those words are painful honestly, ego shattering and will affect the OP.
She has to own up to those words and seriously apologize to you if at all your marriage will work.
I am not asking you to divorce her but let her be, if she craves for you she will come for you but if not she has emotionally divorced you and those words came out from her to emotionally manipulate you to think of discharging her.
The sex denial is another thing again, if a woman stops loving you she stops giving you access to her Jerusalem. Prove to her that you are more than that Jerusalem, by letting bit go don't ask for it and don't look for another woman to have with. Just out your emotions and libido in check, go for the meeting with your in-laws, act accordingly here what they have to say and emphatically asked your wife before her parents what's her final decision, so that her parents can be aware of their daughters decision right in front of them.
If she says she wants out, appreciate your in-laws and thank them, move on with your life ... You deserve better.
You don't beg love to stay, it stays when the heart chooses to stay.
✍️