₦airaland Forum

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Goahead:
That's how Nigerians will cry tomorrow after Iceland deals with the super chickens

I pity ur destiny

Guys, look out this picture for the best artist in the world

what of when u are suffering from escalated poverty , living in one room and promises to buy ur ignorant girlfriend iPhone 7 and the little boy beside u will be like

Nice job Mr Ambode . But empower the hungry people first . In other words , seek ye first the kingdom of poverty alleviation and other things shall follow.

I have a dream that Nigeria will win the world cup. If you believe, hit 'like'.

I charge my phone only when it's dead.

when you hear a thunderous lie , you would be like ...

wetin dey do dis man sef ? na so he declare June 12 as Democracy day . remembering Abiola wey don die tey tey. na June 12 be date where military hand over to civilian? why I dey waste my time sef

this toys were made somewhere in kaduna bcoz dey look like Fulani herdsmen.

how did you come about the name 'fresh kpomo '? my own factipedia : do you know that buhari is not going to win the 2019 elections. and I am going to run to 'only God knows where '?bcoz some people may attack me.
just dash me likes.

hallelujah is the heavenly language. who wants to begin with this igbo word 'nwanem '

Solidkay:
Been using his Mumunism to make cool cash for a long time.

You come tell me say na education be the key to success

Nah, not in Nigeria.

u're only 50 % correct

wow I'd like to join

what of a student who would tear it, go to the native doctor only to be told his/her calling : vulcanising

12.5~ 13times

Mediapace:
Those that will say rooney had more trophies than arsenal From early 2000 till date

and i will be like

wow

what is the name you will give this farm ?

NwaChibuzor504:
There's nothing worse than watching a football game with a person who knows zero about the sport. I remember Arsenal 3-3 Liverpool game. Some beside me asked whether it was neymar that scored but I no blame am. The guy na doctor.

it happens at times

A football viewing center is one of the funniest place in Nigeria to go to . In a football viewing center, there are different types of characters but the common is LIES. 60 % of the people who watch the match tell lies in the football viewing center. I have taken time to write this through experience to you. The following are different categories of people who come to watch football match at a football viewing center .

1) BIG MEN : These are the people who come to watch football match at a football viewing center with a lot of money. When football fee is #100 , they pay #500. They balance well and they even dictate for the owner of the viewing center.

2) THE FREE PEOPLE : These are the people that watch a football match without paying a dime. They are mostly found at the back of the center. They often struggle with the big men.

3) DEBATERS : These people just come to pick any topic and argue on it. For instance, they discuss on a topic like Messi and Ronaldo who is better. This is where the historians come in. Historians are the ones who give history of events. E.g the past five world footballers of the year. They waste time on a single topic not related to the match that is watched.

4) THE CONFUSED : These ate the people that confusion has eaten the better part of them . They are found amongst the touts in the football viewing center. When you are in their midst you hear things like, 'Gunners ti ku leni , Arsenal ti fe na won pa' OR 'Super eagles dey play Barca tonight. They make one more confused when they say things near truth.

5) CRITICS : These are the ones who criticize footballers, coaches and officiating men. They often pass disapproving comments on players. You hear things like, ''This referee that calls himself Howard Webb ought not to give the guy a red card. It is as a result of his level of mediocrity. ''

6) ABUSERS (aka enemies of progress) : These are those that come to abuse or mock a team or player for no reason. I wish the owners of viewing centers should ban them.

7) SHOUTERS : These people keep mute until a goal is scored. They are the first to shout 'Goal'. To be frank, I belong to this group.

INFORMATION MINISTERS : They give details of players. A football viewing center can't be interesting without them. The interesting side is that they analyse matches very well. Sometimes I form big guy by analysing with them. I respect them a lot.

9) BETTERS AND FORTUNE TELLERS : Betters are the ones who predict a match and have 50% possibility of winning. They only shout goal if the team they bet to win has scored. Fortune tellers are people that watch the match and you hear things like ''The match go be 2-1 and Lo and behold the scoreline will be 2-1. Immediately they come, I keep mute.

10) OFF POINT : they argue about matters not relating to the match being viewed. Na this people dey vex me pass. They shout up Barca when Man United is playing Tottenham Hotspur. Also there was an incident where a man came in and told tales of how his 18 years old daughter is a master degree holder. (Ah see lie).

11) PHONE CHARGERS : They come to charge phone in the football viewing center only. Some charge their phones and leave the center until the time the battery will be full. Those people are evidences of power failure and poverty in Nigeria.

12) CHOOK MOUTHERS : They come from nowhere to join the conversation. The most annoying part is that they start with lies. They can say Messi has won ballon d'or 10 times in a row when the debate is about Messi and Ronaldo.

13) PICK POCKETERS : They are the ones who steal every match day. Be careful because your money can develop wings into their accounts.

14) RELAXATION PEOPLE : They come to relax maybe when they feel home is boring or they want to laugh.

15) REAL FANS :They are very supportive and they do anything to make their team win. They never lose hope.

16) DOUBLE SIDED FANS : They support any team that wins.

17) TALKATIVES : They never keep quiet. They can be found amongst the debaters, critics, analysts and information ministers.

18) DYING MINUTES FANS : They come during the 2nd half of the match and ask stupid questions even when they see the scoreline clearly written on the � set. They Overcrowd the place.

19) SPACE BOOKERS : They book space by sitting on 2 chairs or putting materials on the chairs.They are. very annoying.

20) "BY THE WAY " ASKERS : They pass the football viewing center and ask useless questions like 'who is keeping for Nigeria? ' They are very annoying.

Author : Starboynobesay
Source : My experience
Date : 26/12/2017
You are free to add yours or give constructive criticism.
Cc lalasticlala do the job.

no comment

Alexander1370:
I do humbly invite all Nairaland's dope emcees to this distinguished battle section.IF YOU NEED A BATTLE,JUST INDICATE BY 'QUOTING ME' AND I WILL MATCH YOU up with another emcee and fix a time for WAR. You can indicate to battle ME if you want to. LETS GET THE PLACE BURNING UP AND SMOKING...

i'm ready

Wetin he wan take pee do? All dis celebs , it's only nl i hear of dem. Are dose d celebs in nairaland red carpet? Sorry to say i'm his psychiatric dr . he has been taken to ward Ten room 6 but no improvement . Pray for him

Plus-sized Nollywood actress and telecom ambassador, Eniola Badmus, popularly known as Gbogbo Big Girlz took to social media to show off her new boyfriend.
Photo can be seen in this source:
http://n.naija.ng/s/e/65073/aebc7a91
Cc lalasticlala

In an undated video shared online by Sahara Reporters , an angry mob tried to lynch former governor of Borno State, Ali Modu Sheriff , as he was leaving an event.
Source : www.naija.ng
Cc lalasticlala

jayd002:
You are an idiot!

while u are stupid. *lays mat on d thread while frustrated chimpanzee jumps out of d window of d thread*
U are free 2 quote but if u grow 4 dick and 10 yansh d next morning don't come and beg ooo.

jayd002:
You are an idiot!

while u are stupid. *lays mat on d thread while frustrated chimpanzee jumps out of d window of d thread*
U are free 2 quote but if u grow 4 dick and 10 yansh d next morning don't come and beg ooo.

More suggestions

billynoni:
Bring your ear closer because i'm going to whisper this.........And that's the solution to your question.



Kill a snake or any reptile,take the picture and upload then copy Lalasticlala.Bro verily,verily i say to you the topic will be at front page in less than 20minutes


#thank me later

thanks. Other suggestion

Why u pple no wan ansa d questn. Lalasticlala come to my aid.

Please how can i get my topic on the frontpage? *kneels and begs other nairalanders to come to his aid*

bedspread:
NO

for dis small nl i don get bad belle. Chai ! Nigeria.
As ur username implies dat is how ur brain is bedspreaded.

bedspread:
NO

for dis small nl i don get bad belle. Chai ! Nigeria.
As ur username implies dat is how ur brain is bedspreaded.

bedspread:
NO

for dis small nl i don get bad belle. Chai ! Nigeria.