₦airaland Forum

Check out the pictures of a suspected Boko Haram member who carried out the suicide bombing attack that killed several people on Wednesday.

The attack aimed at former President Buhari killed several people two days ago on Alkali road near Muritala Mohammed square in Kaduna city.

He was arrested moments after the attack while trying to mix up with onlookers.

See more photos from his arrest below.

He looks so much like a woman. Every day is for the thief, and one day is for the owner, who knows how many people this evil beast has killed.
Now it is time for him to face the consequences of his actions

Akpos in a hurry used the ladies
‘toilet in a posh hotel’
..
He sat down and noticed four
buttons – WW, WA, PP & APR.

Curious, he pressed WW & his butt
was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much!

He then pressed WA & a blast of
WARM AIR dried him up.

Still loving it, He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him smell
fresh.

Feeling pampered, he decided to
press the last button APR.

He later woke up in a hospital.
A nurse smiled & said to him, Sir,
APR means AUTOMATIC PAD
REMOVER. When the machine
couldn’t find a pad on you, it went
for your balls.

Your balls are in the jar over
there!

1. EXAMINATION OFFICER: What's wrong? You are looking tensed? Did you forget your ID card or calculator?

STUDENT: Sir! I mistakenly brought tomorrow's examination cheating material today.

2. At the end of a lecture, the teacher asked the student whether they had any questions to ask.

AKPORS: Sir! I don't understand the topic.
TEACHER: Hmmm. You should have listened to what I was teaching.
AKPORS: (murmuring) this is the most stupid teacher I have ever seen.
TEACHER: (angry) WHAT DID YOU SAY AKPORS

AKPORS: Sir. You should have listened to what I was saying.

Lolzz one word for akpors?

This beautiful lady in the photos above was a man, she had a surgery and was transformed into a cute lady by doctors in foreign hospital, as he/she now has "b00bs and everything" that ladies have. But what will happen now if this our brother who has become a woman gets married to man in Nigeria? The hot babe is very angry!

See her reaction to President Jonathan's newly signed anti-Gay law below..

But if gays are sentenced to 14 years imprisonment, how long will men who steal billions spend in prison?

Hospital staff have been left in shock after a dead Kenyan man woke up in the mortuary.

Suicide victim Paul Mutora, 24, had been confirmed dead for between 15 to 20 hours before Naivasha District Hospital workers made the chilling discovery.

KTN Kenya said that several mortuary attendants ‘took to their heels’ when Mr Mutora woke up inside one of the mortuary chambers where he was due to be embalmed and started calling for help.

Mr Mutora, from Limuru, had been rushed to the hospital where he was later pronounced dead after drinking insecticide following an argument with his father.

Hospital superintendent Dr Joseph Mburu said that the anti-poison drugs given to Mr Mutora upon arriving in the hospital may have been responsible for giving the false impression of death.

He said: “The effect of atropanes can sometimes cause slowing of heart rate and dilution of the pupils.

“These two observations are used to make the conclusion that someone has lost their life.”
Mr Mutora is now recovering from his ordeal in a ward after being transported back by staff.
According to All Africa, Mr Mutora said: “This was a mistake from the start.

“I apologise to my father as I prepare to go and take care of my wife and child.”

Although doctors say that Mr Mutora is now out of danger family members blame the hospital for being careless.

An investigation as to how a patient was pronounced dead when he was still alive has since been launched by the hospital.



Lols...

Check out Nigerian actress Angela Okorie’s latest look…..She is smoking hot

kaiii see Babe na..

Shes has a kid.

See pictures below:

In what may come as a big surprise to most people, no fewer than 15 persons recently returned certificates issued to them by the West African Examinations Council (WAEC). They said they had to give up the certificates because they cheated during the examination, and now as Born Again Christians, they could not live with “the sin.”
Some individuals, Saturday Sun gathered, had approached WAEC through letters seeking restitution after they had confessed how they dubiously acquired their certificates when they wrote the examinations at various periods.

The council wrote back to them, stating that what they were expected to do was to return the certificates awarded in line with the rules and regulations guiding the conduct of the examinations. However, only few responded, including a holder of Teachers’ Grade 11 certificate.

It was learnt that those who complied with the directive returned their certificates to various WAEC offices nationwide and the council took their case to the Nigeria Examinations Committee (NEC), which, at its 55th meeting in Lagos, cancelled the returned 15 certificates.

According to the council’s letter to NEC, “the listed candidates, in their letters of restitution, confessed that they were involved in various forms of examination malpractices in various years as indicated against their numbers.

They have returned the original certificates issued to them.’’
The returned certificates by the Born Again Christians were for both the May/June (school exam) and November/December (private candidate) West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE).

A breakdown of the year the examinations were taken revealed that the oldest dates back to June 1983 with certificate no SG 288999. Next is June 1990 (RS0680084c), June 1992 (NGSS 0994156), June 1995 (NGSS0265147) and December 1995 (NGSP 0169397), December 1996 (NGSP 0575264), December 2000 (NGWASSCP 038771), June 2001 (NGWASSCS 2451037).

Others are June 2002, two certificates with NGWASSCP 4100224 and NGWASSCS 3894794 were returned and cancelled, June 2003 (NGWASSCS 5009313), June 2006 two born again Christian returned certificates with NGWASSCP 7747466 and NGWASSCS 8423755, December 2008 (NGWASSCP 05790031) and June 2010 NGWASSCP 13327157.

There are several Verses in the Bible to support restitution, which conform to what the 15 Born Again Christians did by confessing their sins and sought restitution from WAEC. In 1 John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins, the is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness’’.

While Numbers 5:6-7 says ’’When a man or woman commits any of the sins that people commit by breaking faith with the Lord, and that person realizes his guilt, he shall confess his sin that he has committed. And he shall make full restitution for his wrong’’. Efforts to get the names, and perhaps pictures, of the 15 persons were abortive, as WAEC officials said it would amount to violation of the rights of the individuals involved and that of their (officials) ethics.

In a related development, the N55th and 56th NEC meeting of WAEC has hammered 493 candidates who sat for both the May/June and November/December WASSCE by ordering the cancellation of their certificates/result slips taken at various periods.

A document available to Saturday Sun reads partly: “The under listed candidates were confirmed to have been impersonated in the various examinations and years indicated against them. The result slips/certificates have been returned by the Zonal/Branch Offices concerned to the Post Examinations Department for cancellation.’’

A breakdown of the statistics revealed that at the 55th NEC meeting (result slips and certificates of impersonators in previous GCE/SSC/ WASSC examinations), no fewer than 241 candidates were sanctioned while at their 56th deliberation (result slips and certificates of impersonators in previous May/June and November/December WASSC examinations), a total of 252 candidates had their certificates cancelled according to the rules and regulations guiding the conductor of WAEC exams.

A remarkable thing which Saturday Sun noted in the 55th NEC meeting decision was that the 241 cancelled certificates involved private candidates who wrote either the Nov/Dec GCE or WASSCE. Thus confirming stakeholders’ position that exam fraud is more rampart during the private candidate examinations.
A breakdown of the 241 cancelled certificates revealed that the highest number occurred in 1998 (34), followed by 1999 and 2001 with 26 certificates each. In 2000, it had 24, 1997 (23), 1995 (22), 2002 (19), 1994 and 1996 each had 15, 2003 (14), 1993 (12), 1987 (3), 2005 (2) while 1985, 1986, 1991, 2006, 2007 and 2009 had one cancelled certificate each.

For the 56th NEC decision, again statistics from the document indicate that majority of the 252 candidates whose certificates were cancelled sat for the Nov/Dec WASSCE (240) while 12 others wrote the May/June WASSCE.



CHAIIII DEM TRY O

caption this photo_____________?

Controversial Nigerian pastor Jide Macaulay who fled Lagos for the United Kingdom fear years ago after some youths ganged up to lynch him in Lagos for being gay says his happiness was restored when he opened up to his ex-wife that he’s gay.

Hear what he said on Twitter:

“Being gay has no expiry date, if you are Gay you are Gay the idea of this being suspended or expired is a myth and the pressure from society, culture and religion forces many to lie or live a lie about who they are. I too lived my life as a heterosexual for about 7 years. I was even married to a woman, when I finally came out as gay was when I knew the true meaning of happiness and whilst it is not easy because of my firm beliefs as a Christian,respect for culture. I am gay and would never expire. We only expire when we give up to live out truly who we are as homosexuals”

Question of the day: How come gay people especially Nigerians find it hard to reveal their partners. If they are so proud of the lifestyle, why can’t they flaunt their partners?


Wey girls dey everywhere fa!!! Ishhhhh

A young ritual killer who allegedly used an aged woman for ritual has met his waterloo in Osogbo, Osun state Nigeria.

According to residents, the suspected ritualist was fingered as the one who contributed to the untimely death of the old woman five years ago. He was also present at her burial.

A family source to the late woman said the man went there on the order of a native doctor to bring her skull in order to use it as a form of ritual sacrifice.

To cut the long story short, he had cut opened the grave by the side and while he was trying to cut the woman’s skull, the body got trapped mysteriously inside the grave and he eventually gave up the ghost.

A close examination of his posture in the above picture revealed that he must have been struggling to get out before life was snuffed out of him by the woman’s spirit.

His accomplices allegedly fled when they noticed the situation ‘s out of their control.

The tragedy happened at Ilobu community in Irepodun LGA of Osun state in the early hours of Wednesday the 14th 2014.

An hawker of ogi who saw the body around 6:30 raised an alarm.
Osogbo police officials have removed his body and deposited it at Ladoke Akintola University Teaching Hospital, LAUTECH morgue in the capital city of Osun
state.

To many who thinks this is a movie or nigerian film pls
See PICTURES BELOW!!!

Source: www.fruz.wapka.mobi

More

Others

Many Nigerians ladies can punish themselves just to look nice, make una try this one.
I call it crocodilic shoe.

Will u agree to wear it?

Merlin pictures below after the shoe pictures.
Courtesy: www.fruz.wapka.mobi

A member of the Eiye Confraternity and Jehovah’s Witness, Adeola Omotayo, 28, has killed his sister, Omotayo Rukayat Adedapo, 30, after a minor disagreement over a plot of land.

The incident happened at Rukayat’s residence, 22, Pasoku Street, Aga area of Ikorodu in Lagos. Preliminary investigation revealed that Rukayat was murdered in her room by her brother, who sells building materials at Sawmill in Itamaga, on Monday at about 6p.m., after they had an argument over the ownership of a particular piece of land.

A resident of the street who pleaded anonymity said she was found dead by her boyfriend when he came visiting after trying to reach her to no avail.

“We got to know of her death Tuesday night, over 24 hours after she was murdered. Her boyfriend only came to visit her on his way back from work when he found her dead and raised the alarm.”
PM News gathered that the night before the murder (Sunday),

Adeola and his wife had visited Rukayat and they even ate in her house. Friends of the deceased said Adeola only visited to know where his sister stays since they had not been talking to each other in the last two years.

After his arrest and interrogation by police, Adeola confessed but said he did not kill his sister intentionally.

“I didn’t have the intention of killing her, she was my sister. If I wanted to kill her, I wouldn’t leave the knife at the scene and I would wear a glove to prevent my finger prints.

The incident happened when we were dragging,” he claimed.
Rukayat’s younger brother, Abideen Omotayo, said he did not believe Adeola killed their sister alone and would want the police to further investigate the matter.

“I have an inkling he did not kill our sister alone. He used to be a member of Eiye Confraternity when he was studying at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology, LAUTECH, but was expelled around 2008 because of his involvement in cultism,” Abideen said.

But Adeola said the allegation that he killed his sister along with his cult members is not true because he has left and renounced his cult membership and is now a member of Jehovah’s Witness. Investigation revealed that his church is also at the same Itamaga area of Ikorodu.

A source at the Igbogbo Divisional Police Station, who did not want his name mentioned, said the case would be transferred to SCID, Panti, Yaba in Lagos for further investigation.

Information gathered further revealed that the late Rukayat who attended Ikorodu Grammar School, studied Transportation Management at LAUTECH, where she also did her Masters in 2013.
Rukayat, who was the class representative during her undergraduate years had the ambition of becoming the first lady of Nigeria.

See victim below
RIP

God!! Na waooo

The news says 30.

Girls like bb pass guys.. Dem fit do anything to get am..lwkmd see pinging na...

Beat 99.9FM On Air Personality, Gbemi Olateru-Olagbegi turned 30 yesterday, the 18th of July, and she held a dinner to celebrate it.
Her colleagues and other celebrities stormed the event in style, those present were Tiwa Savage,Toke Makinwa,Toolz and other close friends of hers.. See photos from the dinner.

My website: www.fruz.wapka.mobi
2go username: stevin08

Here is the transcript of an exclusive interview the spokesman of Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria, WITZAN had with Saturday Sun in Lagos state Nigeria last Wednesday.

Chief Okhue Iboi, the spokesman of the occult group said the state of insecurity in Nigeria has prompted an emergency spiritual meeting at Afuze area of Edo State.

Here is the outcome of the meeting in interview format:
“Witches and Wizards in Nigeria are deeply worried by what is going on in the country especially Boko Haram insurgency. As stakeholders in the Nigerian project, we can no longer afford to fold our hands while the nation burns. Enough is enough”,
“Our bi-annual meeting was actually supposed to come up in first week of October, but our fellow brothers and sisters from these three North eastern states made passionate appeal to our general assembly imploring us to discuss Boko Haram matter.

Witches and wizards in Adamawa. Borno and Yobe states want us to intervene, to help cage Shekau and his blood-thirsty lieutenants”
According to him, Shekau will be captured before the end of December, and paraded on the streets of Abuja and Maiduguri for the whole world to see.

“We witches and wizards in Nigeria have sealed the fate of Shekau. His days are numbered. He will be captured before the end of December, and contrary to the image and impression he has been creating that he is a warrior, after his capture, he will start singing like a canary bird.”

“An ordinary eye can’t see what we are seeing in the coven world. Witches and wizards have put Shekau on our radar. There is no peace for him again until the day of his arrest,”

“Those girls are coming back home. They will be rescued, but it is sad that I have to say here that not all of them are coming back. They are not being held in the same place, some are in Niger, and some are in Cameroon while others are in Chad and Nigeria”.
Iboi, who said Nigerians should not doubt the witches’ declaration or revelations on the state of affairs in Nigeria, said: “This is not the first time we will be coming out to speak about the nation.

Five years ago, this was in 2010, when Nigerians were preparing for 2011 general elections, especially the presidential poll, we came out to warn General Ibrahim Babangida and former Vice President, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar not to contest against President Goodluck Jonathan, that Jonathan will floor them. What happened after these two eminent Nigerians disobeyed us, they lost in a disgraceful manner to Jonathan.

Our warning to IBB and Atiku came out in one or two national dailies.”
Asked why other witches and wizards don’t come out or hold their meeting in the open, Iboi laughed, cleared his throat before blunting out. “You speak like a small pikin. Witches are like spirits. We are invisible. It is only those that operate in the spiritual realm that can see us either when we are meeting or going for assignment. I was born a witch. I inherited witchcraft from my mother when I was in her womb, from the age of 7 I started seeing unborn babies in their mothers’ womb, and I could predict with precision of sex of an unborn child whether it is a boy or girl. When I was born, I was born with a leaf in my hand, and starting from the age of 5, I started healing people like a grown-up herbalist.”

On the issues of witches being blood- thirsty, and sucking blood, Iboi said: “Those are bad witches, in our own association; we are white witches, and white wizards. We are here to save people.

We don’t kill, we counter bad witches and neutralize them whenever they are on their evil mission.”

While saying that another meeting of witches and wizards is slated for Damaturu the capital of Yobe State in October, Iboi said the meeting will review the outcome of the one held at Afuze, so as to enable witches to know what action and steps to be taken next.

“To add to that, we are also converging on Damaturu as a sign of solidarity with our members, and also people and government of Yobe State that we are with them in the hour of crisis. The Boko Haram insurgency has become an open sore, and we are also joining efforts with government and other stakeholders to contain Shekau and his fellow blood-thirsty followers.”

These white witches are so bold. Imagine them going on the tabloid to make declarations.

Chief Okhue Iboi, the spokesperson of the occult group is a 55-year-old wizard from Edo State. He has been a proud representative of the occult group since 2012

see him below...

Blood of God!!!

My website: www.fruz.wapka.mobi
2go username: stevin08

Fans have been hammering Peter Okoye since he snubbed his older brother’s wedding yesterday.. guess he’s had enough! He just fired back on Twitter…

i took screen shots of his tweets on twitter, see them below.

IS PETER RIGHT OR WRONG?

my website: www.fruz.wapka.mobi
My 2Go username: stevin08

Diffrent Wapka Css Stylesheets for ur wapka site.

I have selected the best css stylesheet for ur wapka site, can't paste all for u to see just click the link below.

http://fruz.wapka.mobi
go to wap master updates and get it.
copy and paste in ur site

A fan of my site www.fruz.wapka.mobi named Tofunmi sent me this weird signboard spotted in the rural area of Ogbomoso in Oyo state to my e-mail.

See the picture below!!

On spotting the threatening signboard, Tofunmi and her friend allegedly turned back in a bid to escape a bomb planted ahead….

While turning back, they met another driver and informed him of the danger ahead… It was the driver who informed them that the BOMB ‘s a spelling error…. It’s supposed to be BUMP.

Lo and behold as they bent the curve, the saw a big bump and not a bomb as indicated in the signboard.


If na you u go gree go?
Lwkmd.

"G" is the 7th letter of the alphabet, and Germany starts
with "G".

- The word Germany contains 7 letters.

- Germany Was In Group "G" or Group "7".

- Germany ended group stage with 7pts.

- Germany scored 7 goals in group stages-4 vs Protugal, 2 vs Ghana and 1 vs U.S.A..

- Germany scored 7 goals vs Brazil.

- And obviously, we are in 7th month of year and winning

goal was scored 7minutes to end of extra time...what a
world cup 2014 = 2 + 0 + 1 + 4 = 7

FIFA MOST VALUABLE AWARDS

Golden ball ............ Messi
Golden boot .......... Rodriguez
Golden gloves ....... Neuer
Golden teeth . ........ Suarez
Golden money ........ Ghana
Golden slap ........... Muntari
Golden owngoal ........ J. Boye
Golden cry __________?


Lwkmd!!!

(1) “we want to thank the president for bringing facebook to Nigeria” …Information Minister Labaran Maku.

(2) “you press men, you always say there are no minerals in kano. We have Coca Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite”…Bakin Zuwo.

(3) “Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram απϑ invest in Nigeria”…GEJ

(4) ” I will water your school and fire your school”..Orji Uzoh Kalu.

(5) “Nigerians dont panic, terrorist attack is everywhere ..maybe is our turn”…GEJ.

(6) “I will rather kill myself than commit sucide”..Dame Jonathan.

(7) “I founded this school for the masses and ŧħҿ school fees is 850,000 naira”…Atiku Abubakar.

( Until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria.” – Umoru Dikko.

(9) “Telephone is not meant for the poor”..David Mark

(10) “The worth of a child born and breed in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States” – Yakubu Gowon

(11) “school is not meant for the poor, only for ŧħҿ rich”..Ikedi Ikiri Ohakim

(12) “At 50, Britain iwas still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly”..Diezeani Madueke.

(13)..”Even Jesus Christ cannot conduct a free and fair election in Nigeria”…Obasanjo

(14)…”The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny”..Mallam isa Yaguda, Gov Bauchi State.

(15)..”On behalf of 20 million naira, I donate •̸Ϟy family”.. Dame Jonathan.

(16)..”We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called ŧħҿ result”…Chris Uba

(17)..”I want to commend ŧħҿ doctors and nurses for responding to treatment”… Dame Jonathan

(18)…”I can see camera people, are they going to televise us alive?”- Dame Jonathan.

Dumb Vs Deaf

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on. One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
Imagine

Why bobo no just write am for paper since ?

IBADAN BABES DON COME AGAIN ooo

1. Thank God for a brown new day!

2. My god is upsome!

3. Why are people so weekend? (coz they are Friday)

4. Not all dat glitters are goats! (goatn’t it!!??)

5. Majority carries the volt (volt ko!? transformer ni?)

6. May your name be highly exhausted!

7. My waste is paining me!

8. Thank God for spearing my life (with arrow abi with dagger?)

9. What is strong with you? (strong kor.. decoder ni)

10. Lord! you are the killer dat holds my life!
(GBOOOOOOOOMM!!)

11. Pls, how much is ur age? (na 22naira o!)

12. Look to the window, the principal just passed away (na you kill am abi?)

13. I am not priding pls

14. Lord let ur wheel be done…(God’ wheelbarrow spoil b4?)

Laff go kill me for here ooo Chei
Sowing and reaping naija style :

Fada, I Laf @ the devil throway my blackberry inside offering box make God replace am with Range Rover sport. Amin!

More at www.fruz.wapka.mobi
fruz.wapka.mobi
fruz.wapka.mobi

More @ www.fruz.wapka.mobi

Nigerian Police officers at a road block …. as motorists are stuck in jam akpors stops a trailer

akpors : where is your permit

driver: hands in permit

akpors : do you have extinguisher.

driver : yes its there ….

Akpors : light up your indicators

driver: exactly on point indicators work ….

Akpors : do you have seat belt

driver : yes u can check …..

Akpors : hoot a bit i hear …

driver: pipipipi

akpors turns to his fellow officer and says the man has everything let’s leave let him go.

As the motorist drives away akpors shouts : wait ohh... is your mtn simcard registered ?

motorist: no

akpors : Goat, swine
... park there!. How can you drive without registering your number what if you get accident how will we identify you ….


Hhaahahahahaha..one word for akpors

Arsenal will read Jack Wilshere the riot act when he reports for pre-season training on Sunday.

The Gunners midfielder was due back in London on Tuesday following his controversial trip to Las Vegas, where he was caught with a cigarette for the second time in nine months.

Wilshere was on the receiving end of stinging criticism from Gunners legend George Graham yesterday and he will face further wrath when he returns to the club's London Colney HQ.

Wenger, who is a staunch anti-smoker, is said to be far from impressed by the photographs of Wilshere from a spy camera, together with England team-mates Joe Hart and James Milner, behaving outrageously in Vegas.

Naturally, the Arsenal manager is concerned by the effects smoking will have on Wilshere's fitness and has warned the player on serveral occasions.

SEE THE PICS BELOW... THEM CATCH THE GUY RED HANDED!! KAIIII

more form where this came from
www.fruz.wapka.mobi

I was surfing on twitter when i saw this news that a randy Ghanaian movie producer was recently arrested for having carnal knowledge of young aspiring actresses in exchange for movie roles His got busted when he deceived a 17-year-old girl from a wealthy family. He promised her a role in a popular upcoming movie.

He allegedly slept with the girl two times daily for a period of 2 months promising to give her a lead role.

Sadly the young girl never got her wish in the promised movie. She reported the case to her father. The angry dad stormed the producer’s house with policemen.

The randy film maker was promptly arrested. To their surprise, on getting to his house, they caught him sleeping with another aspiring actress.

See photos below from his arrest..
Girls na waoo for una self, Gods time is the best.

Teacher called a group of students and said describe urself with more than 10 words and i will give u 100naira for each word u give witout stopping to think, i want to kwn the smartest.

1st boy came and said- fine,brave good, kind, (trying to think)

teacher: u stopped. Next

jane: wonderfull,wise,smart,excellent hmmmm

teacher: next!!

Akpors came forward and started,
I'm jst myself,gentle,smart, charming,handsome,admirable,aristocratic,elegant,fair,fashionable,fine,goodlooking,lovely,magestic,noble,sharp,impressive,,smooth,stylish,suave,virile,bewictching,charismatic,electrifying,desirable,delightful

Teacher: akpors thank u!!! thank u!!! Enuff

Akpors: absorbing,alluring,amiable,appealing,attractive,delicate,cute,enamoring,engaging,engrossing,entrancing,glamorous,eye-catching,inviting,sexy,irresistable,likable,fascinating,fetching,lovely,magnetizing,nice,fun-to-be with,pleasant,pleasing,lovable,provocating,tempting,tantalizing,sweet,ravishing,seducing,seductive,winning,awesome,affable,amicable,attached

teacher: enough!!!


Akpors: attentive,auspicious,beneficial,benevolent,civil,so closed,cordial,faithful,creative,outgoing,fond,familiar,sociable,solicituos,sympathatic,emotionally,tender,thick,welcoming,airy,buoyant,enthusistic,effervescent,high,optimistics,lively,glad,gladsome,rosy,sparking,sprightly,sunny,affectionate,passionate,counteous,infatuated,entertaining,sentimental,clever,wise,amusing,facetious,humored,warm,thoughtful,valuing,respecting,impassioned,idolatious,erotic,appreciative,demonstractive,devoted,generous,

Teacher kneels down and starts crying..

Akpors: out-standing,friendly,revenrent,warm-hearted,antic,capricious,diverting,neighbouring,receptive,humane,indulgent,lenient,mild,obliging,tolerant,undastanding,axious,despirate,earnest,stranght-forward,droll,hysterical,joking and hardworking.i gat all the quality a reponsible man should have..i don't look 4 trouble..and never run 4 trouble..i also never allow myself to be intimidated by no one..nah...never.irrespective of whom u are..the fact that u va it today...doesn't mean i won't va mind tomorrow...it al abt chance's...life i knw is turn by turn....yess!!!!!!!

Teacher faints!!!
Akpors don hammer!!! Lwkmd

How much should the teach give Akpors?

A plane was about to crash and there were only four parachutes in the plane.

Mean while there were five people in it. The first person was Cristiano Ronaldo and he said: I'm the best footballer, I cant die now".

So he took one parachute and left.

The second who was Aliko Dangote said "I'm the richest man in Africa and I'm too young to die". So he took the second parachute and left.

The third was President Jonathan and he said: " I'm the smartest president in the world so I can't die now, my people still need me". So he took one and left.

Then it was left with Pope Francis and a Akpors. The Pope said to the Akpors" take the last one, I'llsacrifice my life for you". Akpors replied no need for that "there are two parachutes left. The Pope asked him: "how come?"

akpors replied:"the Nigerian president took my school bag.

Lols
One word for akpors!!

A nokia asha 201 user pleaded with me to help him on this and i have to drop it here on nairaland for other who are facing the same beef.

Some users are experiencing issues when they updated the Nokia (Express) Browser on their Asha or other s40 based phones. The problem occurs because the update doesn’t go up successfully. In most cases, some of the files from the older version remain there which causes the updated version to show a ‘Conflicting Applications‘ error which makes it impossible to open and browse using the default Nokia Browser.

The issue did reach the Nokia Developers but because a very small number of users are experiencing this, the resolution was withheld except for some very new devices.

Solution to the Conflicting Apps error:
If you’re also experiencing this error, you’d have noticed that even a full factory reset doesn’t solves the problem. So, follow the steps below to get rid of the error. It has worked for many but it still isn’t sure that it will definitely work for you. You can try though:

1.Firstly backup the important data present on your phone using the Backup Utility (in settings) or backup on your PC using Nokia Suite. If you don’t backup, you will lose all your data such as Text Messages, Contacts, Calendar; etc.

2.Now you need to reset your phone to factory settings. You need to choose Full Restore. Please note again that this will wipe all your data present in Phone Memory, so do backup before you start.You can first try by skipping this step as it might work out without the need for a factory reset.

3.Install Opera Mini browser(if Opera Doesn’t work, use UC Browser) on your phone. You can either install it using theNokia Storeutility present on your phone. Or otherwise, install it using Nokia Suite on your PC.

4.Open Opera Mini on your phone and browse to following link: http://download.browser.o vi.com/

5.You’ll be able to re-download Nokia Browser from that page and your problem will be solved once it installs properly.

6.That’s all. Enjoy super-fast browsing on your Nokia phone again.

Hope it works for you, or are you still facing issues? Please do reply below as your feedback is necessary to find a permanent solution.

Phones Supported by Nokia Browser:110 (1100), 111 (1110), 112 (1120), 113 (1130), 200 (2000), 201 (2010), 202 (2020), 203 (2030), 2700, 2730, 3710, 5130, 5330, 6303, 6600, 6700, 7230, Asha 300 (3000), Asha 302 (3020), Asha 303 (3030), Asha 305 (3050), Asha 306 (3060), Asha 308 (3080), Asha 309 (3090), Asha 310 (3010), Asha 311 (3110), c2-01, c2-02, c2-03, c2-05, c2-06, c2-07, c2-08, c3-00, c3-01, x2-00, x2-01, x2-02, x2-05, x3-00, x3-02


enjoy!!!

Akpors entered a football hall and sat near james and the follow disccusion started.

Akpors: abeg guy who the play dis match?

James: Arsenal vs Chelsea

Akpors: Ok ..who be Arsenal and who be chelsea

James: Arsenal are in red while chelsea are in blue.

Akpors: fine. So wetin be the scores?

James: (getting angry) 0-0

Akpors: abeg no vex, which 0 belong to Arsenal and which one belong to chelsea

James: (hisses) the one at Arsenal side is their own.

Akpors: ok..abeg james ...Chaiiii no be chris brown wear 14 for arsenal?

James: jesus christ!!! Noooo thats theo walcott he is a winger.

Akpors: so wetin be arsenal coach name?

James: (already tired) his name is
arsene wenger.

Akpors: hmm that means chelsea coach name na chelsea wenger

James: kaaaaaiiiiiiiii oh boy na waaa for you oh.. Kilosher-lee!! Idiot!!

(james leaves the hall.)

Akpors : i think na only u sabi speak english.. Mtcheeeew


lols...if na u wetin u go do akpors?