₦airaland Forum

CrazyQuinn:
You did the right thing .....and make sure you keep that secret to your grave if you know what's good for your marriage

That's how I felt
But naija men will comman condemn her

Bella please make this anonymous, I had an abortion without telling my husband.


My husband and I have been married for a very long time, more than 20 years, we have six wonderful daughters but he’s always wanted a male child, so we kept trying till we had six daughters and the doctors asked me to stop as I had complications during my last two pregnancies.


I am 47 and my husband is 54, everyone including our pastor has talked to him that a male child isn’t really important that all children are from God, but he wouldn’t accept saying his lineage will be extinguished when our girls get married.


He kept asking me to get pregnant one more time but I refused, the doctor had told me never to try it or I might die, almost a year ago, I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know if to be happy or sad, I went to the doctor, he was disappointed and told me I didn’t value my life and the risk of older women my age getting pregnant was too much.


All I was interested in was knowing the sex of my child, after a few months, I went for scan and it was a girl, imagine my heartache, I was sad all through and in my sadness I told my doctor I wanted an abortion, I didn’t want to have any more girls, my husband wasn’t aware, I didn’t want to tell him till I was sure the baby was a boy and so there and then I did the abortion and went home like nothing happened.


I wish you know the amount of guilt I feel everyday, for months I have become a shadow of myself, I killed an unborn child and kept it a secret from my husband, how do I go about telling him, how? I know my marriage will be over immediately I open my mouth to tell him, please what do I do?




Talk2Bella.


I have always said the issue of having a “MALE” child in Africa has always been overrated and times over I have been proven right and this case is one of them.


A child is a child regardless of its gender, when will we as a people know this, a female child is a blessing from GOD so is a male child.


You obviously need to tell your husband if you don’t the guilt will eat you up, tell him about the complications the doctor warned you about and be honest with him, tell him his expectations made you do it, he wanted a male child and when you found out it wasn’t you made the decision for both of you.


Honestly what you did wasn’t wrong but the way you went about it is wrong, your health was at stake but if it was a male child you would have taken the risk of carrying the pregnancy to term, I admire your sacrifice and the risk you were willing to take but a child is a child and you should have trusted God to lead you to safety.


If you feel telling your husband will alleviate the guilt you feel then go ahead and tell him but if you feel otherwise then keep this to yourself and save your marriage.

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/i-had-abortion-without-telling-my.html

cc: Lalasticlala

queencalipso:
Lolx I will take that as a compliment

yes dear it was

uyiekpen26:
Bros now I know better. This is someone I picked up from the gutter and cleaned up. Now she's saying it was the bad advice her friends gave her. I've told her I'm not interested. She will eat sand.

Nah she cannot eat sand another man will just take your place

queencalipso:
Op you are also not telling the truth here, how can you loose your virginity just one year into service after stating in school for about 4-5yrs? Does it mean you never dated in school? If you did and declined sex, how come is was so easy for u to have given it to your Corper boyfriend just within that short space? Op so many questions About this your virginity but let me just stop here.

Now to the main matter, if u love him, just marry him ignore the fact that he didn't tell u/lied after all, we all lie at some point in our lives. But prepare your self for more shocking revelation and be ready to accept it if you decide to go ahead with the mariage cz it seems your man is the type that prefers you finding out things for you self rather than telling you him self. We all can't always behave in same way.
I found out a lot of things about my ex even the ones he lied about, but I accepted it, it's called tolorating ones flaws knowing that we all ain't perfect. But you don't have to be like me if you can't, it's your life, and so it's your call you just have to search your heart very well.

Btw op, if you know you will go back to your Coper boyfriend better don't go ahead with the marriage, this one that you can't control your self before him. Am saying this cz it's not easy to end r/ship with a man that took your virginity just like that. In your own case, I can't fit understand except it's been long you broke up with him if not, I will advice you give your self a little time.

In case you decide to marry him, love and treat his kids like you would yours.

Good luck.

See advice
You suppose come work for talk2bella

Breakups happen everyday get over yours and don't generalise issues

She way left you is the same way she's dying for someone else

You're even lucky she told you she wasn't feeling it anymore would you have preferred she cheated

bamac:
You steal from him without any other person attached might somehow be justified, but those you attached is a no no. Change your ways and get a job too.

Had an uncle his wife stole from all time when we were kids

Stingy man he won't even drop money for food always spending on women but never his family

firstking01:
Smh, is it still a news to you

Hell yeah

bamac:
Yesterday we were talking about someone who complained about her man being a beast, today na opposite... Talk2Bella wahala dey o. Well, you and some others have given needed advice, i just hope she listens as woman at times don't know what exactly they really want between love and sex.

loool
beast in bed

patrick008:
4 D Nw, b4 he learns to last longer. go to a chemist, buy tramadol 100mg, 3 pills, let him take it, i swear na u go run, u go dey beg am make he pour, but eventually make sure he dosnt get addicted to it.

patrick008:
4 D Nw, b4 he learns to last longer. go to a chemist, buy tramadol 100mg, 3 pills, let him take it, i swear na u go run, u go dey beg am make he pour, but eventually make sure he dosnt get addicted to it.

Tramadol works too?

bamac:
Yesterday we were talking about someone who complained about her man being a beast, today na opposite... Talk2Bella wahala dey o. Well, you and some others have given needed advice, i just hope she listens as woman at times don't know what exactly they really want between love and sex.

loool
beast in bed

firstking01:
No be today women spoil this world.

Please don't start
How women take spoil the world?

Greenbullet:
YOUR FIANCE NA LAZY MAN,I JUST FINISHED BANGING A LADY FOR MORE THAN 3 HOURS ,NA SHE BEG ME SAY SHE DON TIRE SELF,
IF YOU WANT YOUR FIANCE TO BE LIKE ME
1: HE MUST JOG THROUGH 12 STREETS EVERY DAY DO INCREASE HIS STAMINA
2:HE MUST LIFT 100KG EVERY.MORNING NOTHING LESS THAN 25 TIMES
3:PRATICE KEGEL EXCERCISE
4:WHEN HAVING SEX WITH YOU TELL HIM TO REDUCE HIS ANXIETY AND SLOW HIS BREATHING

IF HE DOES THIS FOR TWO WEEKS AND YOUR LEG NO bend CALL ME BASTARD.

I think working out helps too

Swizdoe:
Talk2bella do you think a man that lasts 10-30 seconds can impregnate a woman

Even a 1second man

wizzyrich:
Women can steal ehn !

That's how one of my ex searches my wardrobe in the guise of arranging it. They are never satisfied even if you give them the whole world.

So I learnt to always do the needful, clean up my pockets when ever she's coming especially when I'm not in the house.

You sef

Bella please make this anonymous.


Since we have been married I have always stole from my husband, at first I never thought of it as stealing, because I assumed what was his is mine also. Sometimes I’d take money from the wardrobe, his pockets, briefcase, it started with minimal sums and it’s escalated over the years.


There was a time I took over 50k Naira, when he asked I didn’t mean to deny or point accusing fingers but I jokingly told him to ask his younger brother who was staying with us at the time, he didn’t only asked, he beat the hell out of that one, and when money continued missing he sent him packing.


I am not a thief, I just don’t know what’s wrong with me, maybe it’s because my husband is the stingiest man I know, but is that enough reason to steal from him? He has the money but doesn’t release either for feeding or the kids’ school fees, does that justify why I steal from him?


We have a teenager who stays with us and she’s the one who currently suffers it all, when money goes missing, my husband pounces on her like a leopard, beats the living daylight out of her but the poor girl doesn’t know anything, when he’s done beating her, I pet her, buy her things and tell her she never has to worry for anything again, but my conscience has been nagging me, she’s still a little girl and doesn’t deserve to suffer for my sins, do you think I should send her back to the village?



Talk2Bella


Nothing justifies your act, but blaming it on others that’s just plain evil. You decided to turn yourself into a thief in your own home but you can’t even be the adult and own up to it instead you allow others suffer.


Your husband doesn’t give you money for the kids and for the house, doesn’t he ask you where you get the money from to pay for fees and feed the kids {or maybe this is a cooked up story to justify your act} you and your husband needs serious help.


You might have a kleptomania problem without even knowing, let’s hope it doesn’t escalate one day and you begin to steal from others who aren’t your husband.


Tell your husband the truth and tell him your reason for doing all these, apologize to his brother and the maid, they don’t deserve the cruelty you and your husband have melted on them.


This is a hard world, don’t let your ego, pride and theft make it harder for others.

http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/09/i-steal-from-my-husband-and-blame-house.html

greatwhite:
Sad i must say.

The guys should see a doctor. His testosterone levels are down. He needs to increase them and stop all the things causing his testosterone levels to go down.

Dude should avoid all herbal and steroids for now. Except by doctors prescription.

there are pills that can work too, like burantashi and co

firstking01:
Yes, we know her type, always using the "my parents can provide for me" kinda phrase to appear responsible.

biko, what is her type

delishpot:
I don hear you O. When no be say Na height or skin color or shape of head we dey talk about here we we go say one can overlook it and enjoy the marriage.

Hahahhahahaah
Go joor
Is preeq dah important?

sweetestboi:
From all indications u both are not compatible sexually" so I'd advice u find sme1 who ll meet ur criteria sexually""buh sex is jst abt that....there are better tinz worthy of consideration "

Is sex even a criterion for a healthy relationship?

CrazyQuinn:
hmmm....of course Talk2Bella's gymnastic skills is on point

Heheheheheh

firstking01:
Rubb_ish...you are a golglddigger.

Lool

greatwhite:
Was she forced to collect?

No

McBrooklyn:
Yeah, and the actual truth is that you're a guy

Alright

CrazyQuinn:
what's the name of your bbm channel?

talk2bella


C00149FD8

greatwhite:
Very funny

You jumped into a strangers ride. But you don't like money. You gave him your number but you are not into him

You collect stuff from him. But you don't like him. But you love the money. You love the cloths, trips, and the fun. you refused to tell him. You are not doing yourself any good. Obviously it is your greed that is sustaining whatever sub-title you guys are operating under.

Whatever he is into you are already into it with him. Stop asking people for his source of money when you can ask him.

You already know what to do. Cheers

The man wasn't forced to spend na haba

nma24:
I stumbled on the knowledge online. Include the green part of the watermelon if you wanna take it

You have used It jooor

firstking01:
So, you can act the scene very well then, what do you think

Ask CrazyQuinn

McBrooklyn:
Love who??




Nigga, I'm sorry to tell you that I'm not a gay

Urrrm
Confused
You think I'm a guy?

andreernest28:
ITS AN HEBAL MEDCINE,A BOTTLE IS COST 2,500 I GUESS.

Have u used it?

McBrooklyn:
Lol, God punish love . . . Talk about feggo or make you gerrrraraaahia

Hahahahahhah
Still love you tho

firstking01:
You are a girl ba??

Yup

firstking01:
She has to come do it with me na since she calls me a 10sec guy, then after every every i send you the video

Bad guy