₦airaland Forum

Nope

TroGunn: You got it. As I said earlier, the guy has "modesty" - the gentle art of wanting something or enhancing your charm by pretending not to want it or be aware of it, with the sole aim of getting the other other party to want to give it eagerly when you are ready to have it.

Yeah, aka reverse psychology, the girl is already hooked and in denial. Best let be in her happy oblivion.

Sweetlemon: He reduced it BEFORE we met. We ve known each other for only two months.
Please stop making a mountain out of a mole hole. I explained that what I meant by active sex life is that he could get sex if he wanted it. And I mentioned this cos of people suspecting he could be gay. He's a normal flesh and blood man for crying out loud, so he's entitled to some every once in a while!
Hope u understand me now so u can stop ur imaginations from running helter skelter

Referring to your post @bold, though you may not want to accept it but those words sum up exactly what I had summised before i.e. he is not ready to commit but free to sexually engage others while you await your turn - after buying the the bed of course (what a lame excuse).
On the contrary, my imaginations are not running helter skelter, nor am I making a mountain out of a mole hole hill, just interpreting your own words in a more objective perspective.
Got to give it this guy, he's one hell of a smooth operator; imagine keeping a very fine hot babe (if that's really you in your profile) cooling her heels and waiting, just like you'd keep a fine bottle of wine or beer in the fridge chilling till you are good and ready to open and drink it.
Yeah, some guys get all the luck SMH.

So you want us to believe that is the 3 year old body of a dead man? - so well preserved SMH.

No blinking, straight up, I'd say: Babe I've always loved you but never had the courage to say so until now.
Afterwards I'd shamelessly claim temporary insanity because no normal full blooded guy can answer otherwise in same circumstances.

Sweetlemon: So in ur own dictionary, having a gf is the only way of being committed? Haven't u heard of relationships that last up to 20 yrs with no sign of marriage
Besides, what I mean by active sex life is that he could sleep with any girl he wants if he wanted to. Didn't say he's "freely bedding other girls" ok?

Sorry to have to bust your bubble here. You keep referring ppl to read your post again but its apparent you are not doing the same.

First of all, I never implied or said having a gf is the only way of being committed, pls read my post again.

Secondly, in my dictionary a committed relationship entails foregoing/excluding all others except the one you are with - whether married or not. In your case the guy is not only refusing to commit (at least physically and exclusively to you)but reserving the right to screw anybody he wishes; which you yourself clearly admitted in your earlier reply (post) to [b]koksheen[/b where you said,
"We have mutual friends and they told me his sex life is still kinda active although it has reduced cos he's quite a busy man".
Note: he reduced not out of any concern for you but because he is busy i.e. not having enough time to indulge like before. Well if that's not freely bedding other girls I don't know what else to call it - we are definitely not referencing from the same dictionary, no need to guess whose is based on denial.

Hmmn here's my take on this:

OP is in what I'll say, an emotional relationship, since they are doing eveything bf/gf do except sex.
While the guy is not ready to commit or have sex till he buys a bed - not that he cannot afford one; nor is he impotent but quite normal with normal sex drive and freely bedding other girls with no strings attached - OP is asking what does he mean.

@ OP:
He is saying while he is currently happy to keep you at bay but insterested, you should appreciate that he already has his plate full with those girls he is bedding; you should therefore be patient enough to wait in line and when its your turn you should expect him to buy a special bed on which he would ravishly phuck you without committment just like the others before you - since he told you he's not ready to commit but you are not listening; so keep hoping ang waiting.

fairygeh: Na wa oooooooo.Things are happening,is this English or 'Engrish'?

Its Ninglish (Nigerian English)

^^^She did the right thing by telling the bf.
BTW, what has her unemployment status got to do with the issue, unless of course she is having second thoughts about the flatmate's offer - which unfortunately suggest a lot about what kind of class she belongs.

[quote author=gree-die]seriously ?? seriously ?? how difficult can it be?... babe i love you and dats why i cant date you, i will break your heart and spoil you for the next man if i do. i love u so much and i want to shield you from the evils of this world , from the bad guys init, including me.. i ll sooner cut out my heart dan think about you dat way. U r my sis from anoda mother and i just want to love u dat way...
[/quote]Hmmnn, definitely saving this one for later use, as I am also in the same boat with the OP, being actively pursued by one gra gra quarrelsome babe at work(not my type at all) who wouldn't take a hint. So far all my evassive tactics have failed, guess when the the push comes to the shove, all I'll need to do is copy and paste her above answer, without danger of hurting her feelings - hope it works sha, else have to resort to more drastic measures.

Dump both, since neither care enough about you.

nagoma: The lame excuse to justify extrajudicial killing. Typical of a tyrannical regime.

You can say that again.
Innocent Nigerians being held hostage by terrorists and politicians making serious money out of on going situation. We will never know peace again for as long as these crooks (PDP et al) continue to benefit from our misery; like the perrenial fuel scarcity, those that turned it to business will make sure they protect the status quo for as long as they can, may God help us - Nigerians are too ignorant to save themselves from their true oppressors SMH.

Too short, too fat and well bellow average.

pendo89: I like this and I think its true.But don't allow yourself to be used as a spare tyre.
Set boundaries and define the relationship so that you both benefit out of it.

If you read between the lines you'd note the guy has already set new boundaries and keeping within its new platonic limits, for which the OP is benefitting more and happier from his improved attitude and attention; however, you'd also sense that she is secretly hoping for a little bit more and would no doubt welcome him crossing the line - that's why she's claiming she's confused.

So this Elton sef, na him be d woman for d relationship, na him dem dey nyash, kai tufiakwa !

victorian: its easy to flaunt fake boobs.. ...its her choice anyways.

You obviously seem to know more than what's immediately apparent, pls lease lets hear it.

baddiguy: He was looking into her phone

Spot on.

See double standards, so you want to eat your cake and also have it! You want him to fully commit yet you yourself are not fully committing - cheating with an ex schoolmate and all.
Your guy is obviously quite smart, I am not surprised that he's holding out till he gets back, just in case (as he said) you did not get married to another - and by all indications, who'd blame him.
Besides, why else would he make that statement unless of course you are also inadvertently sending out the wrong signals to give him concern.
You seem too much in a hurry and a little insecure about the relationship, which is reason enough to wait a while (after he returns) until you can both be sure about each other.
Meanwhile, there are positive indications he is committed but maybe not saying so e.g. your introduction to his family members and the feedback/expectations from his office colleagues - he must have said in that direction to them.

Oga chronique, it seems you are the only one failing to see what majority are seeing, by your own admission both of you still have feelings for one another - in short (as per your username) chronically still in love.

Well, if I were you, I'd be running as far away as possible from temptation and abomination rather actively courting it.

What bussiness do you still have (as an ex for that matter) with somebody else's wife, if you needed closure why couldn't you have done it before she married?

There is a saying: That when you see a dog sniffing aroung a shoe, it is most likely going to pick it. My friend, its too late, she's already married; you need to move on, in fact cut off all ties with her immediately and don't look back or else you will only be tempting yourself to pick another man's shoe - remember you are already half way there by WISHING it in your mind.

Yeah, 23rd

Once you've got the password there is always a good chance you can loggin, most ex's still have the old password or can unlock it even if changed; so current bfs & husbands beware, never let your guard down, just in case that nigger wouldn't overlook the oportunity of tasting that dish he used to know so very well.

Personally, no; but if you truly love her then that concern wouldn't be an issue at all.

Yes, but foolishly happy.