₦airaland Forum

bukatyne: You and I know that is not true.

Right from our youth, most girl children are trained to be wives. Our mothers might not have outlined it as [b]3 As or whatever but they taught what they knew. If it was working, our generation should have blissful marriages by now [/b]

My point is that men and women need to be taught on making marriage union work. Take a cue from the Bible: Everywhere that talked about marriage, the husband and wife was addressed. If God that created men 'simple' still felt the need to teach them, how much more a 'woman' who suddenly thinks she can read the minds of men.

P.S: What turns every man on is different. Find what turns yours on

Could the bolded be part of the problem? So many mothers do not discuss sex with there daughters. It is a tabu subject. If they are teaching what they know, isn't that part of the problem?

Mr Troll: Atheists on the other hand state categorically that there's no god. Thats why i'm not atheist, its just the other extreme of belief in god. Neither of which have specific proof. . .

Now that...I find interesting. Are you saying there is not enough proof either way, so you are holding out for it, which ever way it falls?

Rhythm: @Topic, I'm just hearing of Dr. Laura for the first time and I'd google her now but from the above article, I'd say she's good. I do not have a husband but I do have an almost-husband and I swear the 3 A's are a very good idea. Just that most times women already know these things but implementing them isn't always that easy.

Implementing the three A's can be difficult, but it promises to be worth it.

smartmom: Shocked to see so few replies to this great post. Hope it means gals are reading and assimilating it?

Thanks. I hope so too.

Mr Troll: shy+handsome+gentle+romantic! The perfect ladies man( only HIPpy ladies need apply )

@Mr Troll
Hahahaha....is this a dating site?

@aManFromMars...hmmmm...interesting

@uyi I see you...How are you?

Interesting thread. I did not automatically think atheists were satanists. I met a satanist face to face when I was at BYU. He was a friend. I was shocked to learn this from him. A friend from church became agnostic. I think that is different than atheist. Although I'm not completely sure. There is much I still don't know or understand about any of these beliefs. Maybe someone can explain it to me. Uyi has explained some to me before.

I have met some friendly atheists here on NL. I am Christian, and don't have plans to change that, but I am please to know my atheist friends.

druid06: Also, you might not have known this but I'm actually a traditionalist too. I was actually recently shying away from my pagans views but it seems of recents those views has been cemented.

Any other traditionalist in the house who could further expatiate the mysticism called Witchcraftry is welcomed to share his or her knowledge.

So I didn't know this about you. Interesting...
What exactly is a traditionalist?

^^^thanks

^^^thanks for your input.

One 'Like'

Everyday/Rascal Flatts

Shuffle:

Rock Me Amadeus(remix)/Falco

I know this is long, but worth it. I've read this book. I think every bride should read it before marriage.

I'm curious to know what other women think of Dr Laura's ideas here.

I'm especially curious to know what men think about the 'The Three A's.' Is she on to something, or not?

Give me your feedback please.


'The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands'
Posted: January 6, 2004
1:00 a.m. Eastern

© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

Why did you write this book aiming at the women – aren't both responsible for the quality of the marriage?

Of course! However, women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly and intelligently results in a happier husband who will "swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade."

Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands. Men are very emotionally dependent upon women from the day they are born to the day they expire. This book teaches women to use this power benevolently – which will definitely result in them being happier with life and love.

What are the most common complaints men have about their wives?

Their women don't seem to have much regard for their feelings and needs.
Their women constantly criticize and dismiss them.
Their women don't seem to want to go out of their way to please them.
Their women nag, demand, and complain – and seem to behave as though they were entitled to do so.
Their women don't make them feel truly needed and valued as men.

What are husbands' most important needs?

He wants to feel like a "man" to his woman; he wants to feel he is providing and protecting.
He wants to feel she needs and admires him.
He wants to know she desires him.
Basically, "The Three A's": appreciation, approval and affection.

What is the No. 1 worst mistake women make with respect to being happy in their marriages?

They marinate in negatives. It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc. Women, more typically than men, will go over it ad infinitum in the own heads, with their mothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social groups (remember Jerry McGuire?) – in doing so they reinforce the negative and create a bad attitude – one which turns into entitlement for not being particularly nice.

Attitude is about believing that your mate has your best interests at heart – it is about not letting loving feelings be squelched by everyday annoyances and disappointments; it is about benefit of the doubt; it is about cherishing the moments and living for the well-being of the other and being sustained by the joy of giving and the blessing of receiving in return.

All through the book you say "men are simple" ... isn't that an insult?

Not at all! In fact, most all of the many hundreds of responses I received from men in preparing this book confirmed just that: "Men are only interested in two things: If I'm not Hot, make me a sandwich," and "As a man, I can tell you our needs are simple. We want to be fed, we want our kids mothered, and we want lovin'."

What about sex? Are wives obligated to give their husbands sex on demand?

As a woman who happens to believe that orgasmz are a fabulous gift and blessing from God, I am amazed at how many women callers are willing to give them up to the gods of "I'm tired," or "I'm annoyed." Now, anyone cannot be in the mood from time to time – that's natural. However, the denigration of male sexual needs (They are just animals) and the use of sex to punish or control (You didn't do what I wanted) and inappropriate prioritizing (My work and children take all my energy) are self-centered and self-defeating.

I ask my women callers who complain that their husbands are not happy with virtually no sexual intimacy (and, by the way, that's what the men truly feel about sex with their wives – it's the ultimate in "acceptance and approval" for them) if they would be satisfied with that profound a rejection and dismissal. They always say, "No, I guess not." Frankly, too many women treat their husbands as accessories instead of priorities.

Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?

Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.

However, these ideas and techniques have salvaged and revitalized innumerable strained, stagnant, boring, disappointing, annoying, frustrating and even seemingly dead marriages. When I nag a woman caller to try just one simple behavior for one day, I inevitably get the call back that they are amazed at the difference a day made.

Are you going to write the book for men on the proper care and feeding of wives?

Nope. Men are born of women and between girlfriends and then a wife; men spend their entire lives in the tutelage of women. What women accept or reject is largely the guiding force for what men will and won't do. When they are treated with the Three A's, they naturally, and in gratitude and affection, give their women the attention, regard, respect, support and love they want.

The ideas and techniques in this book are simple and sweet. What a blessing for women to know that they largely control their own happiness! My job is to get their prejudices and bad attitudes out of their own way. Transforming your guy into a loving man is its own reward.

TinyPurpleBaby: mee too Im addicted to you nairaland

It appears you have a fan club.
*comes into fan club meeting dressed in disguise*

obadiah777: oh no i aint schizo. i really am not MostHigh. seriously i aint. lol. why do people think we are one and the same ?

*looks around, whispers*
Your secret's safe with me.

obadiah777: nope i aint lol. thats my partner in crime.

Hmmmm
LOL

schizophrenic much?;

obadiah777: we right here sire. whats good with ya

So you are mosthigh?

Hahaha...you are so right!

Wu Zetian: You are pushing this "I have no competition" ish too far.

Does it really come down to this?
Hmmm

Wu Zetian: I agree. Actually, I couldn't care less if there was a deactivate account option. I understand if he needs the numbers up for business and stuff. My issue is dismissing the little things he could actually change that would make "Nairalanding"/ browsing this website/being an active member easier.

If he isn't going to change anything, he could at least fake concern. What would it cost him to say something like,
I appreciate your suggestions. My team and I would look into resolving the issues in order to improve your Nairaland experience.

It is simply common courtesy. In business or in general.

Abu Mikey: What's ya say Ma'm

Lolz
I nearly fell of the bed when I saw my ID bolded.
My first thought was, "What did I do now?

Hi Babe. What's up? You good?

IvyBlue: Merci ,toi aussi

Thank you

@ topic

This really burns me up Em.

Um...Em, I think you've lost control here.

Sorry.

@topic
I wouldn't trade my American citizenship.

IvyBlue: Yes

hottie

IvyBlue: Am sure op doesn't mind...your bf Nigerian?

Is that your pic on your profile?

IvyBlue: Are you married?

We are derailing. Sorry Em.

No...have bf though.

rigormortis: an American citizen indeed

Yeah yeah...
Consider
Defending

I never said I could spell.

Sad part is I'm a teacher. I should have checked my spelling. Thanks

Handsomeemmy: Hi Tex! its been a while

Yeah.
Sorry.
You seem so happy.
I'm not sure you noticed.

Happy for you friend.