₦airaland Forum

Empero1:
@OP

Great people are always known for their ability to better any environment they find themselves . Believe you me , if you have not been able to better the live of your husband since you met him in the unemployment condition , then you are worse than him . Maybe you can start now to assume responsibility of a breadwinner of the family , after all you are not a destitute .

On the flip side , may I know your husband's acquired special skill(s) if any . Been a graduate does not guarantee one a good live especially when one is not among the best of the best in a chosen discipline . To be rich you got to do things you were not thought in the classroom , else everyone who gradated who become rich .

raumdeuter:
The bolded are a lesson for men who are blinded by love and give selflessly in a relationship

Once you are broke, most women would forget those act and leave you. When you were down he stood by you, when he is down you feel like divorcing him

You are not at fault he is the one to blame

raumdeuter:
Please go ahead and divorce him. I thought your marriage vows included "In riches in poor". You should have included your caveat that you dont do poor broke men.

WHy did you marry him when he was jobless

ArchEnemy:
Looks as if he tried all possible means to secure a job but couldn't. You said he got depressed and you wanna add to his depression by leaving him?

Common marriage is for better for worse o. Why do you think they put the word 'worse'

Be a pillar unto him, encourage him, love him, keep believing in him.

chineloSA:
You have a nerve of even calling a 10yr old minor, a maid?

In first world countries this couple would have been jailed for child labour and exploitation. A child is suppose to be in school and nothing more. She has no business in taking care of minors like her.

Miscellaneous:
if this is a better advice, I pray ur children abandon u as their mum at the times of trouble…… how abt that?

babyosisi:
This is a messed up situation when a child is now the mother and the mother has become a helpless child
You need to grow up and stop worrying about your mother who has chosen the lifestyle she has chosen
Chart your own course
Sad to say but that is what you must do
Take that job and move
When you get to Lagos look for a good couple you can associate with and learn what a family ought to look like
You need it so your case will not be a repeat of your mom's

I really do feel sorry for you because not only do you not have a father,you don't also have a mother

babyosisi:
Your father is psychotic aka mad
Onye ara
Akula
He is mentally ill no amount of begging can help you
Begging feeds his madness
The earlier your mom wizened up and disappeared with you all the better for you all
His own family members don't want anything to do with him and you think you can beg your way through
Begging doesn't work with mentally ill people you just let them be
You are merely feeding him his drug
This will not end well if you continue to stay in that house
I hope you don't end up with a man like him
Your mom is not doing you kids any favors by remaining in that dangerous environment and raising you all in it
Patterns always repeat themselves
She didn't choose this sort of man but she has chosen to stay in it and accept it,that is very unwise
Without knowing it subconsciously you are already conditioned to this
You kneel down and beg and put the demons at bay only for them to rise up the next morning
This is no way to live
Your mother probably has no self confidence left and you are on that same path

Let your story not end up on the Daily Mirror
You can say God forbid but if you remain in that house!it might

Floodgater:
Like you said, its personal issue, what you and your wife spend should not be a factor of what others spend. I believe your wife knows how much you earn, hence her demands. The fact still remains that expense will increase with increased income. She can use 100k or less but i think its not bad if you give her 100k(20%) out of 500k monthly because her personal expense and savings is from there, yes that is also what she refers to when she talks about savings abi you give her seperate money for hair, clothes etc. Op, you have not really convinced me your wife is a spend thrift but you have given me a concern to warn you to watch it. You are gradually building resentments for your wife steming basically from her not working so that you are angry when you see her watching tv, buying fuel etc with "your money" to the point of asking if you didnt mistake marrying her. Btw why is she not working? did you open a business for her that she refused? Even if she is a spend thrift, she has other good qualities for which you married her. You look like your background influenced your choice with finance, possibly same with hers, in that case you should complement each other, you can make good savings from the 400k (80%), encourage her to work, focus on her good side too or you want her to only see you as stingy, you have bad sides too.

youngice:
ask google

KanwuliaJara:
REALISTIC! Not pessimistic!

Maryannlive:
Korede isn't doing God a favour to pay his tithe, He Is doin it for himself. So that's personal problem to pay or not

Equalizer:
If you are for real then you are indeed a wife material... Keep it up dear..