₦airaland Forum

olaolaking:
Exactly one of the problems. He is not comfortable around you. During my time, I will never let my parent know what ever things happened to me outside. No matter how, I just take it like that because I was not comfortable with their helps. Can you imagine.

I also want to add that, he will prefer to swallow a lot of cheats from others because he does not want to be heard. He is not comfortable with been heard.

If it is like this, it is hormonal imbalance of the brain. and it is likely to be hereditary..

Please. Don't let this boy suffer the same thing I suffered.

I was browsing with my phone when I stumbled on this. I have to drop everything I was doing to go to the nearest cybercafe.

Please go to Clinic NOW to help this boy

cc:thelish

you seems to understand the whole scenario so well. Thank u so much. I really appreciate ur input. pls can u recommend any of this clinic to me??

fpeter:
you're a sick mother, you're the cause of the boy's problems. I bet he hates you already...if you don't stop torturing that boy
by the time he's 10, he would not only withdraw emotionally from you but from the rest of the world. You need help yourself
I bet your mother raised you in very harsh conditions so now you don't know how to handle your son rather you're reliving your
childhood experiences.

I trip for ur quick judgment ooo. not as bad as u tink dear. he doesn't hate me.

Dramadiddy:
Ur child is angry at either u or ur husband.. Dats y he doesn't open up or even feel at home in his own house but he's happy wen he's out or in school or away from u guys.. U can tlk to him to kno if he's offended by anything wich I'm sure he is.. And do not spank him, U need to be his best friend... He is definitely smart and a good boy

his withdrawal is mostly when it comes to book work. Maybe its our method of teaching him as well or the things are too hard for him at his age.

olaolaking:
Dear thelish,
Please I beg you in the name of God. Take your son to a psychiatric clinic. I beg you again. Please take him to clinic.
I which my parents knew this in the past. I wouldn't have suffered all the mess.
Your son is not free with you, he is not feeling comfortable in the mist of those who close to him. It is a psychological problem. Please forget about all this people saying everything is ok. Talk to them at the clinic, they will ask so many questions that will make you know that your son is having hormonal problem.
The earlier the better.

I am exactly victim of same condition as your son.
My Dad finally killed me because he scolded me 24/7 because of my attitude. This is an in born and your son is at 80 percent risk of depression.
Take your son to a psychiatric clinic. I beg you again. Please take him to clinic.
cc:thelish

Thanks bro

kinah:
hands off God help us all. didn't say I no it all sis. we are all learners!

Thanks sis.

kinah:
u ain't psychologically prepared to b a parent.
we are all born with natural instinct to care for our young ones
no one teaches a hen/baboon ow to care or bring up its child. Yea u seek advice frm pple, Bt individual differences wat works for me won't work for u.
just take it to God in prayers.

hmmmm. love ur ideology. I know how to care for my child OK?? we learn new thing s every day. I might be handling him d way I was raised, which may not be perfect for new generational kids. My dear u don't know it all. when u need help, keep pride aside and ask questions. Thanks

eby001:
The kid's mum deserve a slap. Something is definitely wrong. Seeing a kid swings mood on changing environment shows that he/she doEs not like the Setup or someone is abusing him. The abuse may physically, mentally or sexually.



........Parents should stop comparing their wards percieved bad habits to their father/mother/older siblings

oya come n slap ooo. lol

Thanks for all the criticisms and advice. I appreciate. I have learnt new things today. I use to scold him often, but when I asked few people, they told me what to do, which am applying this days. I will still do more. I play ball with him most times, I hate cartoon but force mysef to watch with him, I give him my fone to play games, whatever he wants, we try our best to provide, we take him to children fun park to play, nor be say we too get ooo. but just to make him happy n associate with other kids. God will help us to be better parents. Amen.

SAMBARRY:
you are a wicked mother. How can you do that to a 4year old. Just 4.you too need to be beaten. See how you have scared the boy to death that hr cannot voice out his pain and you still beat him on top.


you deserve 10 strokes of cane

I wasn't even there, when it happened. came in n saw him crying. its not about me, its his character. my anger was that, how can u keep quiet n u are in danger oya bring cane come flog me ooo. My dear am not a wicked mother n can never be. Am trying to be a better mum. I have really learnt a lot here. If am wicked, the brother should have been scared of me as well.

MhizDeedy:
What!!!! That happened nd u even spanked im? oh dear I think m going to loose it. U re thinking he can bear pains but he is not feeling loved, he is trying not to make u see him weak, he is trying to be strong for himself.

Pls stop spanking him

OK ma. thank u

Karleb:
You spanked him for bearing pain?
Fear God now!

No, for keeping quiet.

MhizDeedy:
I wil not lie to u but that child of urz is scared of u, most Nigerian parents don't just get their children. U wil think bcoz u re his mother u know better but u don't. He is still a small kid nd he wil want u to understand him, according to d sch aspect I feel he gets along well with his teacher nd classmates more, he may even open up more with people he feel understand him, u may feel he is small but he knows things.


Re u a busy parent? Do u interact with him often? Do u scold him frequently? Do u play nd study with him regularly? Do u watch cartoons with him or even take him out to av fun? I wil not say u re @ fault but maybe u shld change ur methods with him.

Thank u ma'am. I appreciate ur write up.

SAMBARRY:
If you're in the habit of perpetually disgracing your son indoors or slapping him at the slightest provocation don't expect him to behave like a sharp kid at home


some mothers are in the habit of calling their children names like olodo
stoopeed child
is it not your mate that came first in class
useless boy

Because he failed a question you asked him or his result was poor

bottom line is you have done something to make him loose his confidence and self esteem around you that's why you will see some children looking so bright and smart in school and around their teachers because their teacher has made him feel loved and respected and even encouraged him to try harder when he fails but the moment he gets home he becomes dense because you cannot see the best in anybody in an environment of fear . make him feel comfortable at home and never mock him even if he fails. Don't compare him to any child in private or public



All this African way of training children is why you'll see kids being abused but will be too scared to talk at home. You no dey see Oyinbo children ni

iya wura ose oo. thanks for this piece

femi4:
It should be the other way round on a normal condition. Perhaps you shout him down each time he tried to express himself at home.
Anyway, going forward.....make the house conducive for him. Let him see you as a friend and not just a mother. Your son lacks freedom of expression at home, involve him in all manners of discussion or gist and listen to his view/perspective. In fact involve him in some decision making like "what can we eat this evening?" It ll help his self confidence and makes him feel important/among.

You shouldnt restrict communication alone to academics

thanks for ur input

marketoro:
Take him out, buy things for him...then call him always and ask him if he has any problem..be concern about his welfare

we take him n his brother out regularly, he likes outing. I give him my fone to play games, but can't see any improvement.

classicB:
Your child is introvert my sister, he is probably a phlegmatic. Your should read stuffs on phlegmatic and how to help him develop his self esteem. I remembered growing up too. Mum used to get angry with silly things like this!!
Is he slow to anger?? How well does he relate with his siblings and people around?? Does he prefer staying alone?? is he outspoken? These are signs to look out for, stop beating him pls. Get closer to him and be his bestie

thanks sis. very slow to anger, even if angry he won't express it. He prefers to watch cartoon n play games. he is only outspoken when he is really happy.

funlord:


Hmmm! He is still 2 young 2 be introduced 2 "wu shu techniques", so 4 now get him enrolled in a karate class! It would help with bonding with other kids, exercise and developing his confidence! As 4 YOU! U also need 2 stop screaming @ him like a lunatic! Use cartoons and ice cream promises 2 get him 2 do your bidding! HE is still a CHILD ffs!

after this ur brilliant advice, u con spoil am with insult?

HDee:
Whah abt his father??
Are you divorced?
Buh truss meh, he's a great kiddo, you might wanna check yourself.

am not divorced, he is behaving almost like the dad. I just need advice on how to change him.

he can keep quiet for a 2yrs old boy to bite his forehead. anybody, be it junior, agemate, senior can oppress him n take his thing, he will not talk but will be pained inside of him. The whole thing looks like hereditary to me. But how can I help him speak up when he needs to

deniyor:
Looks like he

is scared of you. You might need to readjust how you treat him at home. You'll figure out what works.

He can bear pains as well. There was a day, the dad mistakenly jam the door against his hand, every other would scream or shout to alert his dad, but my son kept quiet there bearing the pain while his hand was still strapped to d door. It was so annoying that I had to spank him for keeping quiet.

Teempakguy:
Are you harsh towards him?

Is your voice loud and hard?

Does he go to a boarding school?

Let's start from there.

sometimes my voice could be high, but draw him closer when am calm. he doesn't go to a boarding school. Are there boarding schools for a 4yrs old

please, how can I help my 4yrs old son overcome fear?. He seems to be very free outside, but keeps to himself at home. Before his holiday, I went to his school to confront them, because he couldn't answer a question from his book, but my son fall my hand right there. he was reading all what he refused to read at home. pls I need help. he seems to lack self confidence. I tried to reduce my shouting at him in order to draw him close to myself, but there is still no improvement yet.
Thanks

please, how can I help my 4yrs old son overcome fear?. He seems to be very free outside, but keeps to himself at home. Before his holiday, I went to his school to confront them, because he couldn't answer a question from his book, but my son fall my hand right there. he was reading all what he refused to read at home. pls I need help. he seems to lack self confidence. I tried to reduce my shouting at him in order to draw him close to myself, but there is still no improvement yet.
Thanks

There was a time, my hubby was so addicted to his phone, I beg tire but no change. Na so I jejely start with my own phone n also became addicted. Na him con start to beg ooo. pick ur phone n get started dear. if he sees how glued u are to urs, he go beg for a compromise.

Teeboy15:
Den u nva reach April babies b dat na...
April babies (especially those born 12th) dey fine pass Kim K and Omotola. U for c my sis n her 12 clique.
Bt April una dey mk sense sha

my son is April 12th

MAY 3RD. Anyone

madam, just buy a separate slippers inside d bathroom. another at d entrance of d bathroom door, so that after using d one in d bathroom, he comes out to use the other one outside. as for d spitting, when u notice, just enter n rinse d floor with water, by so doing, he will get d message. Thank u