Freiburger:

Where on this thread did u saw that statement u just said?

Read your statement all over again. While doing that, read it as though someone else wrote it and you can see the meaning in your face. Overrating themselves more than they are, according to your statement, means they have a standard which they don't have an opportunity, a privilege, a fair chance to cross unless they twist some arms to get beyond that limit. Your statement looks as though Nigerian girls are restricted. And, no, Nigerian girls aren't overrating themselves; they're simply exercising some self-worth, and if you can't deal with that, you know what to do next.

There's nothing wrong with marrying a woman older than you. The reasons you're getting married matter more than the preexisting conditions. You might as well get married to someone at least your age mate or younger than you and still have a bad marriage. A lot of people have different reasons for getting married to their spouse of choice, and these reasons differ. You have to equate yours according to what you want, how you want it, when you want, and what makes you want it; you don't have to equate it with what others have been through because, for all we know, you haven't been through the same lot.

If she's older than you, but after close study, she's the best woman for you, go ahead and marry her and don't be bothered about what people's assessment will be. Understand, however, that when you live your life, it's for you and no one else or the same people you long to satisfy will be the first to nail you.

Why referring to Nigerian girls? So Nigerian girls don't have the right to overrate themselves but others can? Grow up!

Some people giving responses here should note that the question at hand is what matters and not who's involved. If you want to respond, do so on the grounds that you feel like it and not because you're mandated to know who's involved.

@Post. . . Your friend, as you have stated, has diminished her self-esteem. In a relationship, when a party isn't interested anymore, something comes up before then and that's a lot of thoughts that runs for weeks before a final decision is made. Usually when the decision is made, nothing can be done about it. Your friend toyed with the last little respect she had when she went to beg the guy; I'm certain the guy must have taken her for a cheap girl who's desperate to have a boyfriend (and who am I to even dispute that?).

The best thing for your friend to do is stay away from the guy and move on. He wasn't honest from the start, and there's no reason he's going to leave the other girl for her. If he'd been with her for about three years yet not considering leaving her at the moment, then your friend should stop worrying. The relationship will never work for a second.

Have you tried to check up with yourself what you might be doing wrong? True that sometimes women go by what you say but the intelligent ones amongst them go by your actions and the way you present yourself. The point, in fact is, if you tell her you're suspicious and you're not acting like you're giving her a chance, she'll probably just think you're grouping her with the rest girls you've got involved with.

To be factual, if you have to check the way you've been expressing yourself, maybe you've made it clear to her you don't trust her, and you never know, she just may be doing all she can to earn your trust and here you are not giving her the chance she deserves. It's all a matter of giving her some space, some benefit of doubt, and see where that leads. You don't judge people with the same element; a lot of people are different from who you have met. And, back to yourself, you need to find out what is it about you that's not right and what you're feeling insecure about.

She's 14 and she's matured? I doubt that--it's plainly impossible. If I have to go by experience, you're just merely smitten by the girl for the wrong reasons. These reasons might range from your temporary thoughts that she's a good, matured, understanding, classy girl to being beautiful, sexy and whatnot. I can't say you've not met any real more matured girl out there but when you put your priorities in check, you'd find out you're just messing around. What I figure here is this: You like her as a girl, a favorite student; you don't want to let go of her because you'll miss her more than you would any other student. There's no love, not even infatuation. You just have a priority that's misplaced. No sane guy would love that much little girl for unknown reasons; and don't be surprised, there's no reason to justify this.