₦airaland Forum

Matthewbriggs:
If anyone told me, I would be writing about this subject 6months ago, I would ask you what are you smoking, because I hate it when a woman plays hard to get.

But overtime I have come in contact with life experiences that have taught me a lot, and changed my perception about women and dating.

The most notable lesson came in the form of an encounter I had with a really gorgeous young lady, I really liked ... it was evident she liked me, She gave me intense green light, which I decided to act on. But surprisingly she started playing so hard to get and it really pissed me off. 

The fact is we went on several  dates and we had really good time together.  I made her laugh, I challenge her mind. On several occasions I nearly tried asking her out but due to the mixed signals I was getting I never did ...  I was confused.  I have had scenarios in which she talked about her dream man and the fact is I have most of these characteristics.  Why putting me through all this stress.  It is evident I was not friend zoned because we still had some serious chemistry going on.

This got me seriously confused, why is she playing hard to get when in real sense she did want me... I had to really sit down to think, this I did in my bid to think of a way forward.

This lead me to ask myself one simple question ... Is this girl very valuable enough to me,  to deserve all this effort, Is she worth the stress ?

This simple question changed my entire outlook about how I viewed women and dating.

What I have come to observe is the significant role value plays in a relationship especially from a mans perspective. The level of value we place on something determines how far we are willing to go for that thing.

For example, Why would Jesus give his life in exchange for our life. He would not do so if he never valued us.

Also, why would a Nigerian man travel thousands of miles away from home, spending thousands of dollars just to watch his favorite football club play for 90minutes in the UK. 

Why go through all that stress. The reason is because of the value he places on that Football club. and the value he place on the experience of watching in real live his favorite club play.

Once I understood the concept of value and the fact that as humans we would go the extra mile for what we valued ... the question for me was no longer whether I liked her, or whether I felt her playing hard to get was annoying but more of ... was she worth going the extra mile for.

In that moment I became was really grateful she played hard to get, because the truth is if she never did we would have been deep in a relationship that would end as fast as it started.

I discovered that deep down, I did not find her valuable enough. The several dates we had gave me an opportunity to see some character flaws I knew I can't cope with. My eyes were opened.

Till today we remain friends ... with her still wondering what she did wrong that made me all of a sudden lose interest.

The truth is she did nothing wrong. Instead she indirectly protected her self from a heartbreak.

Also this experience made me realize that, playing hard to get to a reasonable extent is a very useful tool the female specie can use to know if a man is really serious or not ...

It is a tool that would come in handy in limiting the no of heartbreaks they stand the chance of experiencing ...

The easier she is to have by any tom and harry the higher the possibility of earning numerous emotional scars from un serious fellows.

So to my fellow guys when you find that lady you like and she is playing hard to get, do not feel bad ... just ask you self is she worth the effort, Is she worth investing your emotional capital on ... If yes invest it, but be sure at least their is chemistry between you two.

Now for the ladies, playing hard to get is a not a bad thing but be very careful how long you play it ... It can be a huge turn off if it goes on fo a long time. Especially ... to a very serious person who might interpret it for you been uninterested...

Moreover what is really bad is been so empty and invaluable at the same time playing hard to get.

No man would be happy crossing all the mountains, rivers and lake to have you only to discover you are nothing but an empty vessel, he would use you, dump you and resent you .

My advice is build so much value that a guy would see you and say hey I am willing to go the extra mile to have this woman as my own.

Most importantly ... I think it is important to note that playing hard to get is very different from her not been interested or stringing you along for a long time.

2weeks to One month or an equivalent of evenly spaced 4dates is an okay time for her to give you solid repl.

Moreover If from the onset, she says a clear no to your advances understand that she is not interested, If she is in love with someone else please run away. If she is a gold-digger and thrives on using you to meet her needs flee.

But if she a cool chick, who you know deep down really likes you but somehow is play hard to get ... My advice is if you really like and see her as someone good enough to carry your babies ... Go for her with all you've got.

#MathewBriggs

adepiero:
Be happy! that was how Kim Kardashian got popular

xpac01:
I don't really know why this happens to me. Am always kind of confident of my english prowess, but when trying to woo a lady, my grammar will look so pathetic and crippled, and unfortunately the ladies don't even give me a leverage to this error.
I always remember this embarassing wooing back at school. While reading in the class in my normal reading theartre, this beautiful girl caught my attention, then i decided to make a move and recorded the whole incident in my phone. This what ensued:
Me: baby hw far (now my heart beating fast, almost tearing my chest)
SHE: fine (soft voice)
ME: how is studying?
SHE: you said? (already noticing the error)
ME:.....forget. I am always since viewing your seriousness from the behind.
SHE: how? what are you saying? (frowning)
ME: (already loosing confidence) baby I will like to be friends with the seriousness of somebody like you.
SHE: (bursted and laughing emabrassingly, attracting the whole students reading in the theatre) look am in this school to read and not to make friends with people like you ok? Please leave me alone.
ME: (stood up face down, packed my book and left the theatre).
When i played back the incident, i was like, xpac na u be dat. So embarassing...

xpac01:
I don't really know why this happens to me. Am always kind of confident of my english prowess, but when trying to woo a lady, my grammar will look so pathetic and crippled, and unfortunately the ladies don't even give me a leverage to this error.
I always remember this embarassing wooing back at school. While reading in the class in my normal reading theartre, this beautiful girl caught my attention, then i decided to make a move and recorded the whole incident in my phone. This what ensued:
Me: baby hw far (now my heart beating fast, almost tearing my chest)
SHE: fine (soft voice)
ME: how is studying?
SHE: you said? (already noticing the error)
ME:.....forget. I am always since viewing your seriousness from the behind.
SHE: how? what are you saying? (frowning)
ME: (already loosing confidence) baby I will like to be friends with the seriousness of somebody like you.
SHE: (bursted and laughing emabrassingly, attracting the whole students reading in the theatre) look am in this school to read and not to make friends with people like you ok? Please leave me alone.
ME: (stood up face down, packed my book and left the theatre).
When i played back the incident, i was like, xpac na u be dat. So embarassing...