Jic

Well said...I think "playing hard to get is at some kind of advantage to the ladies cos it gives them time to know whether the man is serious or not...But u know an adage says " A Lasting Hope Makes ones heart go wander"....Hope am right

if u like dis story click Like

Playing hard to get is not only for the ladies.

I love playin hard to get bt not too much.

@30 the story go change

Matthewbriggs:
If anyone told me, I would be writing about this subject 6months ago, I would ask you what are you smoking, because I hate it when a woman plays hard to get.

But overtime I have come in contact with life experiences that have taught me a lot, and changed my perception about women and dating.

The most notable lesson came in the form of an encounter I had with a really gorgeous young lady, I really liked ... it was evident she liked me, She gave me intense green light, which I decided to act on. But surprisingly she started playing so hard to get and it really pissed me off. 

The fact is we went on several  dates and we had really good time together.  I made her laugh, I challenge her mind. On several occasions I nearly tried asking her out but due to the mixed signals I was getting I never did ...  I was confused.  I have had scenarios in which she talked about her dream man and the fact is I have most of these characteristics.  Why putting me through all this stress.  It is evident I was not friend zoned because we still had some serious chemistry going on.

This got me seriously confused, why is she playing hard to get when in real sense she did want me... I had to really sit down to think, this I did in my bid to think of a way forward.

This lead me to ask myself one simple question ... Is this girl very valuable enough to me,  to deserve all this effort, Is she worth the stress ?

This simple question changed my entire outlook about how I viewed women and dating.

What I have come to observe is the significant role value plays in a relationship especially from a mans perspective. The level of value we place on something determines how far we are willing to go for that thing.

For example, Why would Jesus give his life in exchange for our life. He would not do so if he never valued us.

Also, why would a Nigerian man travel thousands of miles away from home, spending thousands of dollars just to watch his favorite football club play for 90minutes in the UK. 

Why go through all that stress. The reason is because of the value he places on that Football club. and the value he place on the experience of watching in real live his favorite club play.

Once I understood the concept of value and the fact that as humans we would go the extra mile for what we valued ... the question for me was no longer whether I liked her, or whether I felt her playing hard to get was annoying but more of ... was she worth going the extra mile for.

In that moment I became was really grateful she played hard to get, because the truth is if she never did we would have been deep in a relationship that would end as fast as it started.

I discovered that deep down, I did not find her valuable enough. The several dates we had gave me an opportunity to see some character flaws I knew I can't cope with. My eyes were opened.

Till today we remain friends ... with her still wondering what she did wrong that made me all of a sudden lose interest.

The truth is she did nothing wrong. Instead she indirectly protected her self from a heartbreak.

Also this experience made me realize that, playing hard to get to a reasonable extent is a very useful tool the female specie can use to know if a man is really serious or not ...

It is a tool that would come in handy in limiting the no of heartbreaks they stand the chance of experiencing ...

The easier she is to have by any tom and harry the higher the possibility of earning numerous emotional scars from un serious fellows.

So to my fellow guys when you find that lady you like and she is playing hard to get, do not feel bad ... just ask you self is she worth the effort, Is she worth investing your emotional capital on ... If yes invest it, but be sure at least their is chemistry between you two.

Now for the ladies, playing hard to get is a not a bad thing but be very careful how long you play it ... It can be a huge turn off if it goes on fo a long time. Especially ... to a very serious person who might interpret it for you been uninterested...

Moreover what is really bad is been so empty and invaluable at the same time playing hard to get.

No man would be happy crossing all the mountains, rivers and lake to have you only to discover you are nothing but an empty vessel, he would use you, dump you and resent you .

My advice is build so much value that a guy would see you and say hey I am willing to go the extra mile to have this woman as my own.

Most importantly ... I think it is important to note that playing hard to get is very different from her not been interested or stringing you along for a long time.

2weeks to One month or an equivalent of evenly spaced 4dates is an okay time for her to give you solid repl.

Moreover If from the onset, she says a clear no to your advances understand that she is not interested, If she is in love with someone else please run away. If she is a gold-digger and thrives on using you to meet her needs flee.

But if she a cool chick, who you know deep down really likes you but somehow is play hard to get ... My advice is if you really like and see her as someone good enough to carry your babies ... Go for her with all you've got.

#MathewBriggs

forget all this long story bro..she always liked u as a friend period.

Matthewbriggs:
If anyone told me, I would be writing about this subject 6months ago, I would ask you what are you smoking, because I hate it when a woman plays hard to get.

But overtime I have come in contact with life experiences that have taught me a lot, and changed my perception about women and dating.

The most notable lesson came in the form of an encounter I had with a really gorgeous young lady, I really liked ... it was evident she liked me, She gave me intense green light, which I decided to act on. But surprisingly she started playing so hard to get and it really pissed me off. 

The fact is we went on several  dates and we had really good time together.  I made her laugh, I challenge her mind. On several occasions I nearly tried asking her out but due to the mixed signals I was getting I never did ...  I was confused.  I have had scenarios in which she talked about her dream man and the fact is I have most of these characteristics.  Why putting me through all this stress.  It is evident I was not friend zoned because we still had some serious chemistry going on.

This got me seriously confused, why is she playing hard to get when in real sense she did want me... I had to really sit down to think, this I did in my bid to think of a way forward.

This lead me to ask myself one simple question ... Is this girl very valuable enough to me,  to deserve all this effort, Is she worth the stress ?

This simple question changed my entire outlook about how I viewed women and dating.

What I have come to observe is the significant role value plays in a relationship especially from a mans perspective. The level of value we place on something determines how far we are willing to go for that thing.

For example, Why would Jesus give his life in exchange for our life. He would not do so if he never valued us.

Also, why would a Nigerian man travel thousands of miles away from home, spending thousands of dollars just to watch his favorite football club play for 90minutes in the UK. 

Why go through all that stress. The reason is because of the value he places on that Football club. and the value he place on the experience of watching in real live his favorite club play.

Once I understood the concept of value and the fact that as humans we would go the extra mile for what we valued ... the question for me was no longer whether I liked her, or whether I felt her playing hard to get was annoying but more of ... was she worth going the extra mile for.

In that moment I became was really grateful she played hard to get, because the truth is if she never did we would have been deep in a relationship that would end as fast as it started.

I discovered that deep down, I did not find her valuable enough. The several dates we had gave me an opportunity to see some character flaws I knew I can't cope with. My eyes were opened.

Till today we remain friends ... with her still wondering what she did wrong that made me all of a sudden lose interest.

The truth is she did nothing wrong. Instead she indirectly protected her self from a heartbreak.

Also this experience made me realize that, playing hard to get to a reasonable extent is a very useful tool the female specie can use to know if a man is really serious or not ...

It is a tool that would come in handy in limiting the no of heartbreaks they stand the chance of experiencing ...

The easier she is to have by any tom and harry the higher the possibility of earning numerous emotional scars from un serious fellows.

So to my fellow guys when you find that lady you like and she is playing hard to get, do not feel bad ... just ask you self is she worth the effort, Is she worth investing your emotional capital on ... If yes invest it, but be sure at least their is chemistry between you two.

Now for the ladies, playing hard to get is a not a bad thing but be very careful how long you play it ... It can be a huge turn off if it goes on fo a long time. Especially ... to a very serious person who might interpret it for you been uninterested...

Moreover what is really bad is been so empty and invaluable at the same time playing hard to get.

No man would be happy crossing all the mountains, rivers and lake to have you only to discover you are nothing but an empty vessel, he would use you, dump you and resent you .

My advice is build so much value that a guy would see you and say hey I am willing to go the extra mile to have this woman as my own.

Most importantly ... I think it is important to note that playing hard to get is very different from her not been interested or stringing you along for a long time.

2weeks to One month or an equivalent of evenly spaced 4dates is an okay time for her to give you solid repl.

Moreover If from the onset, she says a clear no to your advances understand that she is not interested, If she is in love with someone else please run away. If she is a gold-digger and thrives on using you to meet her needs flee.

But if she a cool chick, who you know deep down really likes you but somehow is play hard to get ... My advice is if you really like and see her as someone good enough to carry your babies ... Go for her with all you've got.

#MathewBriggs

i woo U̶̲̥̅̊ ,U̶̲̥̅̊ play hard to get,i lose interest asap

i no get that energy to de follow a lady for long abeg. The more you play hard to get the quicker & faster my interest wears out jare.

hizson:


forget all this long story bro..she always liked u as a friend period.

dude follow d story n dnt strt back stories u r Nt cnn

no b d way u woo chics five yrs ago u go woo them in five yrs tym. in tym ur demands change as a case of nature...its only natural to want sth real at a point...thts when its no long a bf-gf thn, now its for sure

This coming from a guy? Impressive

Medunah:
This coming from a guy? Impressive

You ehn !! You just bone me sha

Now I see you are a victim of hard to get

tosyne2much:


You ehn !! You just bone me sha

Now I see you are a victim of hard to get

Haha lol, i dont remember u asking me out. sincerly, after u reply tht u were getting better, nothing else cme to mind. Gudmorning

Medunah:

Haha lol, i dont remember u asking me out. sincerly, after u reply tht u were getting better, nothing else cme to mind. Gudmorning

Oookay now dat I want to ask you out, will hard to get principle also apply to me ?

tosyne2much:


Oookay now dat I want to ask you out, will hard to get principle also apply to me ?

na the part i dey struggle to understand be this.
one chick dey melt for u sotey she dedicated a thread for u and u siddon here wan toast another one. Are u the only circumcised dude on nairaland?
*brings out dagger to castrate him*

beinstein:

na the part i dey struggle to understand be this.
one chick dey melt for u sotey she dedicated a thread for u and u siddon here wan toast another one. Are u the only circumcised dude on nairaland?
*brings out dagger to castrate him*

Egbon no be so ooooo.. Pretim na my wife noooow

**Just trying to flirt with no strings attached **

You know flirting is inevitable

tosyne2much:


Egbon no be so ooooo.. Pretim na my wife noooow

**Just trying to flirt with no strings attached **

You know flirting is inevitable

hehehe true that. Groove responsibly though.

tosyne2much:


Oookay now dat I want to ask you out, will hard to get principle also apply to me ?

U know when u ask a girl out and she says No, it doesn't mean she is playing hard to get, she prolly has other reasons like she has got someone or she is not interested or she is got issues

Op got it wrong. Games are games wether it is played to keep a man interested or get a woman laid. It never ends well cos the bubble will burst in the end.

I have no problem with someone being hard to get if it is in her nature, but playing it out when it ain't you is deceit. It breeds mistrust and eventual loss of love.

Op, you lost interest because you stopped loving her.
You stopped loving her cos you realized you can't trust her. Nobody loves an obvious player. While you think her game kept you interested, you forgot to ask what ruined the relationship?

What works for u will surely not work for everyone, i can never date any woman who plays hard to get for me n even if date her i won't really cherish her for reasons i can't explain...

Medunah:

U know when u ask a girl out and she says No, it doesn't mean she is playing hard to get, she prolly has other reasons like she has got someone or she is not interested or she is got issues

Ooookay I get you.. So which one apples to me.. I'm NOT interested or I will think about it ?

tosyne2much:


Ooookay I get you.. So which one apples to me.. I'm NOT interested or I will think about it ?

None applies to u nah as my personal person so u are my Nl boifrnd

Medunah:

None applies to u nah as my personal person so u are my Nl boifrnd

Lemme end it here.. Guys are watching every of my steps now that I have become a married man

tosyne2much:


Lemme end it here.. Guys are watching every of my steps now that I have become a married man

And u didnt invite me to ur weddimg?

Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Playing hard to get doesn't sound cool.

Now! This makes sense

Observing with a cup of holy communion and the bread...

mployer:
Op got it wrong. Games are games wether it is played to keep a man interested or get a woman laid. It never ends well cos the bubble will burst in the end.

I have no problem with someone being hard to get if it is in her nature, but playing it out when it ain't you is deceit. It breeds mistrust and eventual loss of love.

Op, you lost interest because you stopped loving her.
You stopped loving her cos you realized you can't trust her. Nobody loves an obvious player. While you think her game kept you interested, you forgot to ask what ruined the relationship?

@ bolded I never loved her in the first place talk more of stopped loving her.

She is not a player. She was not playing any game. She was just playinga hard to get something that pissed me at first but latter became grateful she did ... Because it opened my eyes to my true feelings to her ...

Please read this piece to really understand what it is about before commenting.

My interest died the moment I realized deep down I really did not see her clearly in my future.

Matthewbriggs:


@ bolded I never loved her in the first place talk more of stopped loving her.

She is not a player. She was not playing any game. She was just playinga hard to get something that pissed me at first but latter became grateful she did ... Because it opened my eyes to my true feelings to her ...

Please read this piece to really understand what it is about before commenting.

My interest died the moment I realized deep down I really did not see her clearly in my future.

Glad you said you didn't love her in the first place. Every sensible girl should know when a guy is not that into her and stear clear. Likewise guys. It is not playing hard to get, it is being true to oneself.

Playing hard to get is a mind game. It is called reverse psychology. Guys do it too. You will always hear guys on nairaland say stuff like 'if you want to get a lady, pretend like you don't care'. It works in most cases but it is a game. It will get you a girl but won't keep a relationship for you.

There is no relationship worse than that of two people playing mind games on each other. I hate games, don't know about others