₦airaland Forum

Twins talking inside mothers womb,

Twins 1: The place is shaking. Daddy's here again. He's early today?

Twins 2: Shhh! quiet, thats not daddy, daddy does'nt wear a raincoat!

*walks into migines office, (only its not an office) , yanks migines, makes him head of jury, he scampers off to look for am jury*

;d

Adick, i dont have anything against u but wat am sayin is that, this guys tend to make fun of everyone. they did that to me but i was not pissed off. Hope no hard feelings?

Migines, help me look for ma jury, tope teadr and adick were charged by someone

wat am tryin to say is that, i like it wen u guys have arguments, its funny

U guys bicker alot and its funny, Gosh being missing out

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(talkin abot sudan, I have renamed myself 'mahmood' in retaliation of the recent happenings and I give myself 40 strokes everynite in protest.Only clever people can work out wot I am takin about)
He means we are dumb? keep on flogging yourself

Why u say that? I am the Judge. *looking for ma jury rite now*

, am pleased

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other
stall saying:

"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom
but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this
is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I
hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could
just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, "No, I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously,

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other
stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

Seun made me the Judge

yo u got msn?

Isn't nigeria hot enough?

Dont hurt his feelings, y'all were jokin intil he took it to the nxt level

to farm and sell fish

laughs, tell me more that

u guys are takin it ot the nxt level, cut it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he said *i own my world* not * i am my own world* anyway, stop arguing adick and tt. i unde3rstand the joke. wat he was tryin to say is that since england lost to croatia, the family of the dead person felt embarassed to see england's jersey on the dead person's body, in irony instead of them tryin to feel bad bout their dead, they were embarassed bout the england's jersey. Am i repeatin ma self? Sigh

4 fish farming or what?

aiight wat he was tryin to say is that, wat was it again? i 4got wat the joke was all about

aiight wat he was tryin to say is that, wat was it again? i 4got wat the joke was all about

A guy went to Vegas for the first time in his
life. He was very curious about the sex services
offered there. Thru a bell boy, he found the
best in town.

When the lady came, he asked: "How much is your
service?"

The lady said: "$100 for a hand job."

"What? Why so expensive?" the guy asked in
amazement.

The lady pulled the guy to the window and asked
him: "Do you see that shiny red Porsche down
there? That's what I earned by my hand!"

The guy was convinced and decided to try her
service. It was great! So he asked, "What else
can you do?"

The lady said: "For $200 I'll give you a
Mouth Gig."

"What? That's way too expensive for a Mouth Action!"
he replied.

The lady brought him to the window again, and
said: "Do you see the restaurant down there?
That's what I've earned with my mouth!"

So the guy decided to go for it and gave her
$200. It was unbeliveable! So he decided he
wanted to try the "real" thing. So he asked:
"How much for real intercourse?"

The lady pulled him over to the window again,
and said: "Do you see that skyscraper there?
It would have been mine a long time ago if I
had a pussy!"

Imagine two gay guys using condom

@tope, lol never noticed that, my bad. @oracle, where u being?

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath
and young Sister Madalene Edwards had prepared
the bath water and towels just the way the old
nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene Edwards was also instructed not
to look at Father John's unclothedness if she could
help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Edwards
how the Saturday night bath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've
been saved."

"Saved? And how did this fine thing come about?"
asked the old nun.

"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub,
he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing
him he guided my hand down between his legs
where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now," said the old nun evenly.

Sister Edwards continued, "And Father John said
that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the
portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I
would be assured of salvation and eternal peace.
And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven
into my lock."

"Is that a fact," said the old nun even more
evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said
the pathway to salvation was often painful and
that the glory of God would soon swell my heart
with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being
saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "he
told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I have been
blowing it for 40 years!!"

You guys probably seen this joke b4, so just let it be



A young man agreed to take a new job as a
traveling salesman but was concerned about what to
do with his wife. She enjoyed sex way too much to
sit around and wait for him for weeks at a time.

Desperate, he went into a sex shop looking for a
vibrator that would keep his wife pleasured. When
he could find none that meet with his wife's
standards he cautiously approached the front desk
and told the little old man standing there of his
situation.

The little old man thought about this for a minute
and finally he pulled out a wooden box and inside
it was a little wooden dick.

"This will bring your wife enormous pleasure. When
you want it to work just say 'voodoo dick-sex' and
when you want it to stop you simply say 'voodoo
dick-back to your box.'"

The salesman bought the voodoo dick and presented
it too his wife before he left town. A few days
went by and the wife was getting lonely so she
decided to use the voodoo dick. It was the best
sex she had ever experienced and in fact climaxed
six times. In her excitement she forgot the
command to get the voodoo dick to stop. She tried
everything and to no avail. Finally she got in her
car and headed for the emergency room when she got
pulled over by a police officer for speeding.

He asked her what was wrong and she told him,
"I've got this voodoo dick and it won't stop, "
Then he replied, "Oh, voodoo dick my ass, "

Their 'mates' happened to be at the funeral
parlor at the same time, and were discussing
what they planned to do with the ashes once their
loved ones had been cremated.

The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so
I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes
in the sky."

The second man said, "My Carl was a good
fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in
our favorite lake."

The third man said, "My Jim was such a good
lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a
pot of hot chili, so he can tear my ass up just
one more time."

or tonto kowalski? stop changin jokes

She tripped over a cordless phone,

A man was walking down the street when he
noticed his Grandfather sitting on the porch,
in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the
waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here
with nothing on below the waist?" he asked.

The old man slyly looked at him and said,
"Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on,
and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's
idea."

just press Esc on ur computer and its gonna go so fast