₦airaland Forum

For nearly a year, Islamic State-watchers had wondered whether Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the group, was alive. Then on Wednesday, he resurfaced for the for the first time in 11 months, releasing a recorded speech to mark the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Adha. In the 55-minute speech—his longest of those that have been made public—he referenced recent events, indicating that it was recorded over the past few weeks.
The speech came amid reports of a resurgence by ISIS in Diyala, Salah ad-Din, and Kirkuk in Iraq, all areas the group lost some years ago; overall the group has lost around 98 percent of the areas it once controlled. The speech also followed eyebrow-, raising estimates by both the Pentagon and the United Nations that the group still has more than 30,000 fighters in Iraq and Syria. Affiliates in countries like Afghanistan and Egypt have also been noticeably more deadly and active in recent months. ISIS, in other words, has seemingly undergone an orderly transition from caliphate to insurgency without fracturing. In his speech, an emboldened Baghdadi drew on ISIS’s history—a small militia within a large network of insurgent groups waging war against Americans—to rally the faithful, and remind them that they remain quite deadly.
What ISIS really wants

Aside from its preachy opening, Baghdadi’s speech charted a course for how ISIS can regroup. In one key passage, he called for lone-actor attacks in Western countries, including bombings, car-rammings, and gun and knife attacks. Previously, such calls only came from ISIS’s former spokesman; coming from the self-styled caliph himself, they’re likely to carry more weight. Baghdadi even quantified his expectations: One attack in the West equals a thousand in the Middle East—a ratio that recalls the Irish Republican Army’s campaign of terror in Britain decades ago, which stipulated that one bomb in Britain was worth 100 in Northern Ireland. ISIS, like the violent Irish nationalists before them, knows that such attacks will garner more publicity and spark greater reaction than the slaughter of 200 Druze civilians in southern Syria or a car bombing in the heart of Baghdad.

Baghdadi also claimed that Donald Trump’s America is suffering a nervous breakdown as a result of its two-decade war against jihadis in the region. America, he said, is turning against its friends and cowering to its adversaries. Baghdadi cited tensions between Washington and Ankara over Turkey’s imprisoning of American pastor Andrew Brunson, U.S. sanctions against Turkey, and the Erdogan government’s refusal to abide by the U.S. sanctions regime against Iran. This is all happening, he said, while the “patch of jihad is expanding.” Indeed: Unlike in Baghdadi’s previous speeches, in which he raged against ISIS’s internal dysfunction and territorial losses, this time he seemed confident of the group’s ability to weather the current storm.



To explain how ISIS will transition into an insurgency, Baghdadi pointed to the past. He echoed the iconic words of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the original founder of the group, from 2006: “The spark has been lit here in Iraq, and its heat will continue to intensify until it burns the Crusader armies in Dabiq,” a town in northern Syria that, accordingto some interpretations of Islamic tradition, will be the site of an epic battle between the Muslim and Christian armies. ISIS has often pointed to Zarqawi’s statement as prophetic, since no signs of instability in Syria had existed at the time he made it. At two points in his speech, Baghdadi referred to Iraq as the source of the spark, and said that the war has now been renewed following the loss of territory.

Baghdadi also referred to the Sunni tribal fighters that helped the United States extricate the Islamic State of Iraq, ISIS’s predecessor, from Sunni towns and cities back in 2007. Despite being outnumbered, ISI launched a successful years-long campaign to eradicate those Sunni fighters, as part of a strategy articulated also in a ratio: one bullet against the American occupier, and nine bullets against the apostates. Most of one’s forces, he suggested in the speech, should be focused on the enemy within.



Baghdadi advocated for a tactic that ISIS has turned to, with great success, numerous times: eroding Sunni factions through a combination of targeted killings and recruitment. He promised the same fate would meet the Syrian rebels, and appealed to the rank-and-file to desert their “treacherous” leaders, who he accused of betrayal after a series of ............

Read More at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/27/isis-back-re-strategising-baghdadi-alive/

There are powers, but God pass them all!

The active drug in Viagra has been linked to 19 deaths in the UK last year, the highest on record since 1999.

Sildenafil, the active drug in Viagra, caused more than a dozen deaths in 2017 and is currently linked to seven fatalities this year, according to a report by the Medicines & Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA).

A majority of the deaths were caused by cardiac problems, including coronary artery disorder, cardiac arrhythmia and heart failure.

The findings come after it was reported nearly a million Viagra pills had been bought since it became legal to sell them without prescription in March.


Sildenafil, the active drug in Viagra, caused more than a dozen deaths in 2017 and is currently linked to seven fatalities this year, according to a report by the MHRA

WHAT IS VIAGRA?
Viagra was developed in 1998 by accident, after scientists discovered it had benefits for sufferers of erectile dysfunction.

Manufactured by Pfizer, the magic blue pills are take......

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/26/beware-of-viagra…hs-in-2017-alone/

Here’s some news to lighten the load — a new “floating” backpack is being developed that could soon ease the burden of shouldering heavy bags.
The HoverGlide uses bungee cords and pulleys to cushion downward jerks felt when heavy backpacks bounce. The result is a bag that appears to levitate while its carrier hikes, runs or climbs.
Although yet to go on sale — a Kickstarter campaign by manufacturer Lightning Packslaunches in September 2018 — the backpack is already causing a stir, likely appealing to travelers who yearn for the simplicity of strapping on their luggage, but loathe the pain it can bring.
The pack is the brainchild of Lawrence Rome, a physiologist at the University of Pennsylvania, who has specialized in the movement of fish. Rome initially worked on a concept that tried to harness backpack movement to generate electricity. While waiting for potential military procurement, he transformed his idea into the HoverGlide.
Rome says his creation can cut the risk of spinal injury by drastically reducing the downward force created when moving with a pack. Each step can make a load feel nearly a third heavier, straining muscles and joints with every jolt.
Schoolkids, the military and middle-aged people, all prone to injury from carrying heavy loads, could benefit, he says. Back, neck, knees and ankles will take up to 86% less punishment, likewise the cardiovascular system.......

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/25/new-floating-backpack-easing-the-burden-of-travel/

When Nigerian quacks fail, stories begin! We must change the story of Nigeria, for our children's sake.

chrisfab01@gmail.com

For human consumption, that mode of transportation is crude!

This worldwide study vindicates Biblical position that alcohol is bad for your health!

If you're one of the third of all humankind who drinks alcohol, take note: There's no amount of liquor, wine or beer that is safe for your overall health, according to a new analysis of 2016 global alcohol consumption and disease risk.

Alcohol was the leading risk factor for disease and premature death in men and women between the ages of 15 and 49 worldwide in 2016, accounting for nearly one in 10 deaths, according to the study, published Thursday in the journal The Lancet.
For all ages, alcohol was associated with 2.8 million deaths that year.
Those deaths include alcohol-related cancer and cardiovascular diseases, infectious diseases such as tuberculosis, intentional injury such as violence and self-harm, and traffic accidents and other unintentional injuries such as drowning and fires.

"The most surprising finding was that even small amounts of alcohol use contribute to health loss globally," said senior study author Emmanuela Gakidou, a professor at the University of Washington's Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation. "We're used to hearing that a drink or two a day is fine. But the evidence is the evidence."
Not surprisingly due to their large populations, China, India and Russia led the world in the total number of alcohol-related deaths in men and women. The US ranked fifth among men and seventh among women on that list; the UK ranked 21st for men and ninth for women.
"This study is a stark reminder of the real, and potentially lethal, dangers that too much alcohol can have on our health and that even the lowest levels of alcohol intake increase our risks," Helen Stokes-Lampard, chair of the Royal College of General Practitioners in the UK, said in a statement. She was not involved in the study.

However, countered David Spiegelhalter, the Winton Professor for the Public Understanding of Risk at the University of Cambridge, "Given the pleasure presumably associated with moderate drinking, claiming there is no 'safe' level does not seem an argument for abstention.
"There is no safe level of driving, but governments do not recommend that people avoid driving," Spiegelhalter, who also was not involved in the research, said in a statement. "Come to think of it, there is no safe level of .....................

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/24/alcohol-is-bad-f…t-quantity-study/

Nuns, including one aged 93, are arrested over abuse allegations at notorious orphanage where they 'beat residents, forced them to eat vomit and ritually humiliated them for bed-wetting'

Police probing Smyllum Park in Lanark have arrested 12 people, including nuns 
More nuns reported to prosecutors amid a widening police investigation
A further four have now been reported to the Crown Office, aged up to 93 
More nuns have been reported to prosecutors amid ...................

Read more at ..............http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/24/cruel-world-nuns…phanage-children/ ‎

Dailymail

Similar thing to what I carried a week ago about a friend and his rented flat at Ajegunle Ikorodu! May God save us from wicked people!

Nigerians love travelling out to greener pastures all over the world. But the reality is that modern slavery and deceptions of easy wages are very real. This story of the Cameroonian woman M.Sc holder who fell into slavery in Kuwait is an eye opener. Beware!

It's been a tortuous journey for Francisca Awah. Last month, the 35-year-old from Cameroon spoke in front of an audience that included Ivanka Trump and the US Secretary of State, when she was honored for her contribution to the fight against human trafficking.

But just three years ago Awah was living in modern slavery, trapped and abused as a domestic worker in Kuwait.
In the spring of 2015, Awah answered an advertisement for an English-teaching job in Kuwait. The pay was good, better than anything she could earn in her home town of Kumba, in south-west Cameroon, even though she had a Masters degree and spoke fluent English. She had a two-year-old son to support, and when she was offered the job, she accepted.
The reality, it turned out, was very different.

'Sick and exhausted'

When she arrived in Kuwait she says she was immediately taken to work as a maid in a private home, employed through an agency. She says she was moved between homes for a few weeks, and then eventually ended up with a Kuwaiti family, who she says took her passport.
Awah says the family forced her to work long hours, sometimes in the blistering Kuwaiti sun, with very little sleep.
She says she got sick and exhausted and suffered from back pain from the constant cleaning.
When she asked to leave she says the family told her she would have to repay the $3,000 they had given the agency for her, and she would also have to pay for her flight home.

She says she was paid 75 Kuwaiti dinars (about $250) a month for the two months she was with the family.

Stories of hope

Awah says she plucked up the courage to turn on the television while she was working. She found herself watching The CNN Freedom Project, which reports on all forms of modern slavery.
"Sometimes they show people that they have saved," she later told CNN. "I was having hopes."
One report, profiling Katie Ford, the former CEO of a modeling agency, who now runs anti-slavery organization Freedom for All in the US, struck a particular chord.

Awah says she had a cell phone and used it to find Ford's details on the internet. She contacted Ford, who coached her through her eventual escape to a friendly embassy, ............

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/24/travelling-to-ku…-slavery-is-real/ ‎

CNN, Adapted

As it once happened , regrettable in Nigeria (Biafra), in Yemen today, more than eight million are on verge of starvation from the war in the country. It is estimated almost 18 million people lack access to good, nutritious food and 8.4 million are on verge of famine, as they simply do not know where their next meal is coming from.

The United Nations has described the conflict in Yemen as one of “the worst humanitarian disasters in modern times”. The civil war has left millions struggling to afford basic goods. It is estimated that 8.4 million Yemenis are on the verge of starvation, with many more eating just one small meal a day.



It is imperative that Nigerians guard against war by living in peace, being considerate of each other’s welfare, religion and such. Nobody has a monopoly of violence!

A word suffices for the wise!

Al Jazeera, Adapted

http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/22/a-similar-biafra-blight-8-million-face-starvation-from-war/

Ibadan needs upgrade in many areas, just like many Nigerian cities.

Women from around the world have taken to secret-sharing app Whisper to confess why they hate the people their children married.

One mother-in-law says her son's wife and her family are 'white trash' and she can't help but 'judge her'

Another woman told Whisper that her daughter married the sort of man that she should have broken up with after college, and is 'embarrassed' that she didn't end things.

Yet another mother-in-law admitted that she was 'upset' that her daughter-in-law got pregnant before her actual daughter in a shocking Whisper confession.

Coming to the Nigerian situation, is it any surprise that a worldwide phenomenon is happening in Nigerian? What can be done to reconcile mother-in laws and their childrens' spouses?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Dailymailuk

http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/24/mean-motehr-inla…ever-they-change/ ‎

A woman has rights of life over her body, a man has no right to "kill" her in bits or whole. Chikena!!

Great care for the body and soul!

As it once happened , regrettable in Nigeria (Biafra), in Yemen today, more than eight million are on verge of starvation from the war in the country. It is estimated almost 18 million people lack access to good, nutritious food and 8.4 million are on verge of famine, as they simply do not know where their next meal is coming from.

The United Nations has described the conflict in Yemen as one of “the worst humanitarian disasters in modern times”. The civil war has left millions struggling to afford basic goods. It is estimated that 8.4 million Yemenis are on the verge of starvation, with many more eating just one small meal a day.



It is imperative that Nigerians guard against war by living in peace, being considerate of each other’s welfare, religion and such. Nobody has a monopoly of violence!

A word suffices for the wise!

Al Jazeera, Adapted

http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/22/a-similar-biafra-blight-8-million-face-starvation-from-war/

I pray for you Seun, in Jesus mighty name, you will not end up like Apple's Job and soo many invective spewing Atheists. Faith is the way to go. Faith first, then answers as clear as crystals. As an atheist, you are an easy pawn in the hand of the enemy, Satan. That should not be your portion now!!

Pls Governor, put a human face on your so called job! This is politricks!!

People who look after their heart health in their 60s are less at risk of dementia
Researchers recommend people stop smoking, stay slim and exercise often
They also advice two portions of fish a week, and three of fruit and veg a day
In addition, keep cholesterol, glucose and blood pressure levels in check
Scientists have revealed the seven health tests that tell a person their risk of developing dementia in later life.

These seven tests are whether a person: smokes, is overweight, exercises regularly, eats fish and fruit or vegetables often, and has healthy blood pressure, glucose and cholesterol levels.

The French study concluded that people over 60 who look after their heart health are less likely to suffer memory and cognitive decline eight years later.

Around 850,000 people in the UK have dementia, of which approximately 62 per cent suffer from Alzheimer's, the most common form of the disease. Some 5.7 million have Alzheimer's in the US.

Scientists have revealed the seven health tests that tell a person their risk of developing dementia in later life - and it all comes down to looking after your heart

THE SEVEN TESTS THAT TELL A PERSON THEIR RISK OF DEMENTIA
According to the University of Bordeaux, people over 65 are more at risk of dementia in later life if they:

Smoke
Have a BMI over 25
Do not exercise regularly
Do not eat fish twice a week or fruit and vegetables three times a day
Have high blood pressure
Have high cholesterol
Have high blood sugar

How the research was carried out 

The researchers, from the University of Bordeaux, assessed the heart health of 6,626 people aged over 65 to determine whether this affected their risk of dementia.

Heart health was evaluated via the seven-item checklist from the American Heart Association.

The heart-health recommendations include not smoking, having a BMI under 25, exercising regularly and eating well.

Other advice includes having a cholesterol level of less than 200 mg/dL, glucose under 100 mg/dL and a blood pressure reading of no more than 120/80 mm Hg.

After assessing all of the participants for the above, they were given a heart health score.

Their cognitive function was investigated multiple times between 1999 and 2016.


People can maintain their heart and cognitive health by exercising often

WHAT IS DEMENTIA? THE KILLER DISEASE THAT ROBS SUFFERERS OF THEIR MEMORIES

Dementia is an umbrella term used to describe a range of neurological disorders

A GLOBAL CONCERN 

Dementia is an umbrella term used to describe a range of progressive neurological disorders, that is, conditions affecting the brain.

There are many different types of dementia, of which Alzheimer’s disease is the most common.

Some people may have a combination of types of dementia.

Regardless of which type is diagnosed, each person will experience their dementia in their own unique way.

Dementia is a global concern but it is most often seen in wealthier countries, where people are likely to live into very old age.

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE AFFECTED?

The Alzheimer’s Society reports there are more than 850,000 people living with dementia in the UK today, of which more than 500,000 have Alzheimer's.

It is estimated that the number of people living with dementia in the UK by 2025 will rise to over 1 million.

In the US, it's estimated there are 5.5 million Alzheimer's sufferers. A similar percentage rise is expected in the coming years.

As a person’s age increases, so does the risk of them developing dementia.

Rates of diagnosis are improving but many people with dementia are thought to still be undiagnosed.

IS THERE A CURE?

Currently there is no cure for dementia.

But new drugs can slow down its progression and the earlier it is spotted the more effective treatments are.

Looking after your heart benefits your brain 

Results suggest people with poor heart health scores in their 60s are more at risk of ....

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/21/7-ways-to-tell-i…risk-of-dementia/ ‎

Can this happen in Nigeria?
What prompted this rewind?

Egyptian movie star is accused of succumbing to 'worldly temptations' as she ditches the hijab and quits her Muslim lifestyle, a decade after turning her back on acting to embrace religion
Hala Shiha, 39, 'retired' from acting to embrace a more conservative Muslim life
In 2006, Egyptian actress donned hijab and later niqab and shunned limelight
Now, 13 years later, she has made a comeback and is wearing western fashion
An Egyptian movie star who quit the film industry to embrace a 'religious lifestyle', has shocked the Muslim nation by announcing her return to acting - and ditching her hijab.
Hala Shiha, 39, went from a glamorous celebrity lifestyle to shunning the limelight in 2006, donning hijab and conservative clothes and eventually choosing to wear a niqab face veil.

After a 13 year hiatus, Ms Shiha announced that she had returned to acting by posting images of herself in western clothing and a bare head on social media.

This has sparked outrage among Islamists in Egypt, with some accusing her of 'failing' conservative Muslim fans and giving in to 'worldly temptations'.


Then and now: Hala Shiha, 39, is pictured at the time when she retired from acting as she embraced a conservative Muslim liferstyle, and now, announcing her comeback
Ms Shiha's highly publicized return to acting immediately ignited a storm in social media, the press and on TV talk shows. Her case in many ways mirrors the larger conflict in Egypt.

The country has been polarized since a popular uprising in 2011 toppled autocrat Hosni Mubarak, ushering in a period of political domination by the Muslim Brotherhood, which won a series of elections - including the presidency.The Generals ousted Islamist President Mohammed Morsi in 2013 after massive protests over his divisive rule and cracked down against the Brotherhood, outlawing it as a terrorist group. Under President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi, the military-backed government has little or no tolerance for political Islam.

It is against this backdrop that the status of women is among the most debated aspects of Islam in Egypt, with the question of how they appear in public getting special attention.

Shiha, often cast in dreamy, romantic roles, sought to distance herself from the often- acrimonious argument over her decision to take off the hijab and seek a more secular lifestyle.

'I never meant to insult or offend anyone,' she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview. 'Just because I took off my hijab, doesn't mean I am ......

Read more at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/21/bye-bye-hijab-welcome-hollywood/ ‎

God may not be hard to please, but it is written "forsaking not the assembly of brethren together..." She could go to church at least twice a week. Ok!!

Some British tourists pushed the limits of decency in Rome as they stripped naked to bath in a popular fountain.

One of the Britons can be seen removing his underwear (main) as the two men posed for pictures in the fountain at the foot of the Altare della Patria monument (right) in the Italian capital. Others filmed the men as they laughed and jokingly flexed their muscles in front of bemused tourists. Police are now hunting the pair after their antics were captured on camera by a tour guide at the landmark - a monument commemorating the country's war dead and built in honour of Victor Emmanuel, the first king of a unified Italy. It is the latest example of tourists causing outrage through bad behaviour in Italy. Previous incidents have seen sightseers carving their initials into the walls of Rome's Colosseum, fighting over selfie spots at the city's Trevi Fountain and taking a bath in a Venice canal.

Dailymail

Hope Melanie can match actions with words: African children need such.

Are Nigerian prisons better than U.S. prisons? Hope Nigerian prisoners don't strike like their U.S. counterpart viz:

US prisoners on Tuesday declared a nationwide strike demanding changes to correctional institutions including living conditions, pathways to parole and voting rights restoration. US prisons The US incarceration rate is the world’s highest: about 2.2 million people were behind bars at the end of 2016, a figure the American Civil Liberties Union says represents approximately one-fifth of the global population of prisoners. The strike — set to continue through September 9, according to organizers — was called in response to a deadly riot in April at a maximum security prison in South Carolina, Lee Correctional Institution. “Seven comrades lost their lives during a senseless uprising that could have been avoided had the prison not been so overcrowded from the greed wrought by mass incarceration, and a lack of respect for human life that is embedded in our nation’s penal ideology,” the group of incarcerated prison rights advocates leading the strike said. “These men and women are demanding humane living conditions, access to rehabilitation, sentencing reform and the end of modern day slavery,” the group, known as Jailhouse Lawyers Speak, said in a statement.

Organizers throughout the United States advised inmates to engage in peaceful sit-ins, hunger strikes and work stoppages. Low remuneration for prisoners put to work at jobs like cooking and .....
Read more at... http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/21/prisoners-strike-in-u-s-how/ ‎

A TERRIFIED toddler was locked inside a washing machine by his babysitter who then laughed as he filmed the little boy sobbing, police claim.

Footage posted online shows two-year-old Kacper pressing his hand against the door in a desperate bid to open it.

The little boy sobbed as his babysitter filmed the footage of him trapped inside the washing machine
The little boy sobbed as his babysitter filmed the footage of him trapped inside the washing machine
Police say they have also found a photo of the boy being forced to smoke a cigarette.
In the video, a man can be heard laughing as the youngster cries. Although the boy was not hurt, cops have launched a child abuse probe. Social services are also involved.

It’s understood Kacper’s mum, a 21-year-old known only as Zaneta D, had left the little boy with a friend while she took her boyfriend to work in Radom, central Poland.

To protect the little boy's identity, we've blurred his face - but this photo shows him 'being forced to smoke a cigarette'
The photo of Kacper appearing to smoke a cigarette was found on his mother’s social media page – though she denies having anything to do with the post.
She claims she left her phone at home while she was working....

More at http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/20/baby-sitter-from-hell-forced-2-year-old-to-smoke-sit-in-closed-laundry-machine/

The foundation of the church needs checking: many voodoo stuff may have been planted during construction, for crowd pulling!!!

The boy should be hung!

A father-of-two has revealed he hasn't had sex with his wife since they married seven years ago - and she has told him she has no interest in being intimate.

Posting anonymously under the handle Anom D on parenting site Netmums, the distraught dad admitted he had sought medication to lower his libido after his partner of 11 years refused counselling to try to re-discover the spark in their love life.

He wrote: 'I have a high sex drive, but my wife has no libido - she admits to not wanting sex, she says she never really enjoyed sex, which is new to me as when we first got together it was great.'

He said the couple, who wed after their children, now six and ten, were born, have even failed to consummate the marriage.


Posting anonymously on parenting site Netmums, a distraught dad has revealed he is facing the rest of his married life without having sex as his wife said she has no desire to be intimate with him. The man shared his dilemma on parenting website Netmums, revealing not leaving means 'knowing I'll never have sex again'

He added: 'She has very low self esteem, and although I give her lots of loving, say the right things, in the past bought her nice things, nice lingerie, she works a couple of hours a week, I even cook most evenings.

'But recently, I feel life is wasting away and my wife just says it is not her problem, she does not [want] counselling or... to see the doctors as there is nothing wrong.'

Revealing his dilemma over whether to stay in a unloving relationship or leave and risk breaking up the family unit, he said: 'So what do I do, leave and risk messing up the children or put up with it knowing I will never have sex again. Is this normal, are there other couples out there in the same position?'

Netmums users were quick to offer their advice to the poster.

Rebecca M wrote: 'Maybe your wife is depressed or there is some other underlying issue? Could she be having an affair? Have you physically changed in appearance? Are the kids/work draining her? There could be a number of reasons it has dropped off.'

Others shared their own stories of low libido, including another father who said he felt like 'seven planets had to align' before his wife would consider making love.......

More at...


http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/20/sexless-marriage-will-you-walk-out/









Other parents quickly responded to the anonymous father who took to Netmums to reveal his wife wasn't interested in having sex with him - sharing their own experiences of being with a partner with a low libido

The rules of modern dating are as follows:

1. Don’t underestimate bad vibes.

Last fall I went on a date with a hipster to Starbucks. Side note: he ubered 40 minutes to get there. We arrive at Starbucks, and he said “oh so this is what Starbucks is . I’ve never been to one.” I already had bad vibes, all in the first 1 minute of meeting him. Then he proceeded to order a Pumpkin Spice Latte, followed by, “this is f***ing delicious.” Needless to say, we didn’t hit it off. We said goodbye and he ubered his way back home. If you get bad vibes or if your date has never been to Starbucks, you don’t have to see him again. Even if he paid. Even if he traveled to get to you.

2. Be open minded.

This comes to appearance as well as personality. Bumble provides us with a quick and convenient way to pass judgment. We base who we talk to or meet up with solely on looks. And I’m not saying looks shouldn’t be a factor. Attraction is important! Duh. But sometimes the “not as hot” guys are the keepers – the ones you may actually fall for. Don’t be so quick to swipe left just because he looks a little nerdy. He may be husband material.

3. Chivalry is NOT dead.

Dating may be temporarily dead, but chivalry is not. Even if you’re just “hanging out.” Manners are manners, and they tell us so much about a person. He doesn’t have to open every single door for you or wait on you hand and foot, he just have to have some basic manners!

4. Stop pretending to be so chill…unless, you are in fact a chill person.

I unfortunately am not chill. I’ve reached the conclusion that if we act chill for too long, we eventually explode. So, as to not suddenly explode and turn crazy on him (because nobody wants that), tell him what you are looking for. Don’t just go with the hanging out thing if you want to date. If you want a relationship, you don’t have to listen to his “we don’t need a label” speech. In fact, if this is the speech you are given, and you want more (you want that label!), get the heck out of there. Run away. Find what you want elsewhere.

5. And right along with that, if you want to go on a date, say it.

Tell him. You don’t have to do this whole “casual” thing if you don’t want him. Tell him you don’t want to drink beer and chill. You don’t want to order in Taco Bell and enjoy some nice bro time. Tell him you would like a gentleman, paired with a nice Italian dinner and some white wine.

6. Stop over-analyzing every single text he sends (or every single word in every single text).

This isn’t Romeo and Juliet. There’s not always a literary theme, and there’s rarely a Christ figure. Texting causes so many miscommunications and fights. Don’t read so far into what he texts you. If something that he says bothers you, talk about it in person. Don’t panic. Don’t read into it. Just talk about it.

7. You don’t have to time when you respond to his texts or Snapchat.

You don’t have to play these games where you pretend you are in no rush to talk to him. So what if you text him back in a minute? So what if you open his snapchat a whole day later? So what? He will deal. If he thinks you’re clingy because you feel the need to respond to his texts in a timely fashion, he’s probably not going to be a keeper. Set the scene for what you want in a relationship. If you scare him away, he’s not your guy.

8. Ghosting. Why. Is. This. A. Thing.

Why do people think it is okay to just stop talking to someone or to ignore them? This goes back to basic manners. It is not so difficult to pick up the phone and tell someone you’re not feeling. And if you do get ghosted, remember that you’re only being ghosted because the guy is weak and insecure and doesn’t have the guts to tell you to your face. This is a communication red flag so run while you can. Moral of the story: don’t ghost. It’s not okay! Have a heart. Use your words. ANd if you are ghosted? Try not to feel too heartbroken. There are red flags everywhere.

9. Don’t be afraid to ask someone what they’re looking for.

Unfortunately because there are a billion new terms for “dating” (or the like), it’s easy to be a thousand percent confused. Dating. Talking. Hanging. Having fun. Etc. Don’t feel like you need to quietly try to decode what he wants like he is a complicated math proof. If he never wants a relationship, and that’s what you’re looking for, listen to him. Don’t waste your time trying to change him. You don’t want to date someone for months on end never knowing if you are exclusive or a couple. Or if he wants to be married in “a year or two” and this is the total opposite of what you want, no need to drag him around like a flopping fish. Tell him. It’s hard to let someone go, but there are plenty of someones out there who want exactly what you want.

10. If he wants to be with you, he will try to be with you.

It’s that easy. Maybe in the beginning as you get to know someone it’s a bit hazy, but after a while, he has to show you that he’s interested. You shouldn’t feel like you’re convincing someone to date you. You’re a prize! You’re a gold medal! Find someone who wants this medal.

politic.ftopic

http://www.naijapoint.com.ng/2018/08/20/10-rules-of-modern-day-dating/

Being open, blunt and simple. But, some girls can really be soo wicked!

All in a good days play-act!