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Tonyfred's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Tonyfred's Profile › Tonyfred's Posts

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Jokes Etc › Re: Wat Should I Send? by tonyfred(op): 9:00am On Nov 01, 2011
really? read it again.
Jokes Etc › Wat Should I Send? by tonyfred(op): 8:02pm On Oct 31, 2011
Girl : If you are Smiling , send me your Smiles smiley

If you are sleeping ,send me your dreams :]

If you are crying , Send me your Tears :}

Boy : Now , Im in
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Toilet , What should i send?
Jokes Etc › U Cant Cheat Death by tonyfred(op): 4:06pm On Oct 28, 2011
Death came to a guy and said,"My friend today is your day, ".

The guy said,"But I am not ready!".

Then death said,"Well your name is the next on my list, ".

So the guy told death,"Ok why don't you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"All right, ".

The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list to the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he said to the guy, "I will start from the bottom of the list because you have been so very nice to me,
Jokes Etc › Re: A Nigerian Prostitute And A White Man by tonyfred(m): 3:56pm On Oct 28, 2011
not again.
Jokes Etc › Re: Tattoo by tonyfred(op): 5:27pm On Oct 27, 2011
folaham i create dis my self,
Jokes Etc › Re: Prayer Answered by tonyfred(op): 11:09pm On Oct 19, 2011
ajibele u dont need to tell us, we`ve already known u come from trash.
Jokes Etc › Prayer Answered by tonyfred(op): 12:41pm On Oct 19, 2011
A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father,I have 2 female talking parrots, but they only knw how to say one thing; ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’” “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “I have a solution to your problem.Bring ur 2 female parrots over to my house and I wil put them with my 2 male talkin parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach ur parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and ur female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.” “Thank you!” the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His 2 male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her 2 female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?” One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!









A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins -- and they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach!"
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 6:26am On Oct 19, 2011
dream about uhuhhuhhuhhuh
getting close to uhuhhuhhuh

wat a f**k, u never told me u re sally gay?
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 11:44pm On Oct 18, 2011
looking for my rainboot to kick u real hard and making sure u will never remember ur password on nl again.
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 11:17am On Oct 18, 2011
thought nl jokes was made for adults?
wat a hell jambite like ajibele was doin herehuh?
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 7:09pm On Oct 17, 2011
(looking for my insecticide) there`s cockroach in my house named markus,
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 4:44pm On Oct 17, 2011
i can answer that only when i become a woman,
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 3:45pm On Oct 17, 2011
Fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl
on their husband's coat from 20
meters,
but can't see a pillar from 2
, meters
while parking a car,
Jokes Etc › Re: Atm by tonyfred(op): 3:36pm On Oct 17, 2011
dont tell me u like dis joke Ajibel?
Jokes Etc › Atm by tonyfred(op): 12:12pm On Oct 17, 2011
How a man withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
, 5) Take money
6) Drive away

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How a woman withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7) Insert card
cool Hit cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run bck 2 ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back 2 car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for a mile
24)Release HAND BRAKE
Jokes Etc › Re: Natural Disaster. by tonyfred(op): 11:51am On Oct 17, 2011
then u got amnesia. we re on the same page.

dont forget to pee someday too.
Jokes Etc › Re: Learn Dis by tonyfred(op): 6:46am On Oct 17, 2011
u got ma respect bro, but i must commend u for doin ur job wonderfuly well here on nl,

CRITICISMhuhhuh? GIVE ME A BREAK,
Jokes Etc › Re: Natural Disaster. by tonyfred(op): 10:56am On Oct 16, 2011
Do you Like me as I am??
Or do I haVe to
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Request GOD to impRove your
taste ??
Jokes Etc › Natural Disaster. by tonyfred(op): 10:48am On Oct 16, 2011
Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,
NATURAL DISASTERS JUST
HAPPEN.


Hey U Know
Which is the best day to
propose a girl, April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.



You know why women starts
with 'W',
because all questions start with
"W", !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife, !!
Jokes Etc › Re: Learn Dis by tonyfred(op): 10:30am On Oct 16, 2011
@ajibele, ooops my bad dint know i bite so hard. sorry thats how we appreciate good deeds from ppl.
Jokes Etc › Re: Learn Dis by tonyfred(op): 3:30pm On Oct 15, 2011
ok i got it, thanx a lot assclown.
Jokes Etc › Re: Learn Dis by tonyfred(op): 4:01am On Oct 15, 2011
help ur brada here and get me a job plzzzzzzzz,
Jokes Etc › Re: I work with a condom company by tonyfred(m): 3:45pm On Oct 14, 2011
old, but still funny though.
Jokes Etc › Learn Dis by tonyfred(op): 3:08pm On Oct 14, 2011
here`s the answer for 1+1.
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shame on u if u re really looking for the answer
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Jokes Etc › True Luv by tonyfred(op): 11:59am On Oct 12, 2011
True Love is like a pillow. U could HUG it when Ur in trouble. U could CRY on it when Ur in pain. U could EMBRACE it when Ur
happy. Want True Love?





buy urself a pillow,
Jokes Etc › Re: Drunk Husband by tonyfred(op): 4:50pm On Oct 07, 2011
Husband: If I die, will you
remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with
my sister. But if I die will you
remarry?
Husband: No, I'll also stay
with your sister.
Jokes Etc › Re: Drunk Husband by tonyfred(op): 4:22pm On Oct 07, 2011
Ben 10 e no easy to crack joke nah,
but i`ll try.
Jokes Etc › Drunk Husband by tonyfred(op): 12:13pm On Oct 07, 2011
Police officer : Sir I am extremely sorry to say, but your wife has been involved in a fatal car crash & we would like u to accompany us so you can identify the dead body.''
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DRUNK Husband Responds: "Ahh!, I'm a bit busy right now. Can't you take a photo and tag me on Facebook, if its her i will click LIKE,
Jokes Etc › Re: Naugthy Man by tonyfred(op): 9:30am On Oct 06, 2011
dont know why ur neighbour alwayz allows u play wit his lappy,
Jokes Etc › Wats On Ur Mind? by tonyfred(op): 2:00pm On Oct 05, 2011
Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah, I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
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We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

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