₦airaland Forum

Jashub:
Tomorrow's headlines will read :

"BUHARI CONDEMNS THE BRUTAL KILLING OF 44 FARMERS "


But as usual nothing will be done.

6lam:
Dear fellow nairalanders,
I write this afternoon to seej your candid opinion on how I can grow a million naira to three million in 10 months.
I have a standing offer in a university abroad that requires I pay about an equivalent of 3 million before I can be accepted fully into the program(MSC). The balance of the tuition would be paid upon arrival to the school.
The problem is I only have a little above a million naira and I am at a crossroads on the kind of investment that can be done to meet my target before November next year.

Ps: No private messages please.
Thanks in advance.

Mods should help take this to front page

AududuNine11:
Should a believer join any PROTEST, DEMONSTRATE, CARRY PLACARDS?

Here's my view as a believer regarding PROTEST/DEMONSTRATION - peaceful or not peaceful, SARS related or not:

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
1 Corinthians 10:23 KJV

waywardpikin:
Dear Diary,

I want to share a story of one of my adventures with my friends Biggie and Okeke. It was a Saturday or Sunday I think, and we had been smoking all day. All of a sudden we decided it would be a good idea to travel to Erin Ijesha Waterfalls and scratch that off our bucket list.

You know that place where Adekunle Gold shot his Orente video? That’s Erin Ijesha Waterfalls.

So we went o, that very day. We loaded up our backpack with two bottles of Jack Daniels, like three bottles of codeine, and like 500 naira SK. Me, Biggie, Okeke and his babe at the time. First of all the place was farther than we expected and we’d left a little late. When we got there we were like the only ones left but I was really excited anyway. The place had an ancient look to it, I felt like I was in one if those Shaolin Temples in Mortal Kombat. We had to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the titular waterfall, by then Biggie and Okeke’s fat girlfriend were out of breath and just decided to sit it out and smoke some herbs while Okeke and I hurriedly stripped and dove under the torrents of water gushing down upon us.

It was such an exhilarating feeling, feeling the natural water spring forth from a rock unto us. Baba God shower pass man-made shower I swear. After we had had our fill of that we decided to explore the place further. There were still a flight of stairs that went all the way up, it was really high up and we were really excited though Biggie and the girl declined going any further. It was a dangerous undertaking because the stars were wet and slippery and had no railings so if you fall you’re on your own. No one forced you to climb anywhere in the name of adventure. We climbed the stairs slowly and were disappointed to realised that the stairs didn’t go all the way up to the top of the mountain. It was like our forefathers or whoever constructed the poorly built stairs decided that that was as far as they could be bothered to go.

Biggie and girl looked like specks of dust from where we stood looking and we took a lot of pictures that I cherish till this day. The feel of the whole place, and the fact that it was rapidly getting dark, I started having the creeping fear that maybe there was a huge beast lurking in the bushes that usually came out at night when no one else was around, probably an anaconda or something. I wondered if the natives that lives around offer up sacrifices to it in reverence. I was pretty sure that some juju stuffs are done in the waterfall. It seemed like a potent source to draw some spiritual whatever.

Came down and I saw this suspicious old man still lurking around. He was at the gate earlier when we had just arrived and now he was here acting busy. I started remembering all the Hollywood movies I’d watched where a bunch of high school kids would go on some hitchhiking or waka waka adventure only to encounter a psycho killer. We took pictures and we left, but my paranoia was on a 4G LTE network and it was really dark at this point.

The plan was to lodge in any okay hotel, get high, straff if possible and call it a day very well spent. We first entered a canteen and ate huge mounds of Eba and Egusi, from there we ended up in one mysterious looking, seedy dump called ORANGE HOTEL. It was weird for a number of reasons I can’t readily explain. Okeke and his babe took one room while Biggie and I took the other one. We went outside the hotel contemplating how the night was gonna be. Okeke and I were dressed in casual wears while Biggie was dressed in a native attire, and given that he was fat and robust we could easily pass for his boys I guess. As we were talking, one ‘indigene-looking’ man came out of the hotel and stood in one corner looking at us. I noticed him but I thought nothing of it, though I was on high alert. #ParanoiaMode

As we were talking he walked up to us:

“My people I greet o, anything una need I dey supply am o…”

I wondered what we could possibly need from him to supply us and I was immediately uncomfortable but Biggie was more than willing to indulge him. Shebi na adventure carry us come?

Biggie: Wetin you dey supply?

Man: The normal level now.

Biggie: Which one of the normal level make I know wetin I dey buy abeg?

Biggie was a guy-man and we lived in a place called Egypt. It was in the ghetto streets mehn, where if you’re not sharp you could get obtained real quick. You had to be smart, so typically before you calculate we don solve.

Biggie: If you no get wetin I dey find I go go meet another person. I no come here to play abeg.

Man: Why you go go meet another person? Oga I say anything you want I get am. Whether na human head, human hand, man preek, virgin tohtoh, old woman bre.ast, anything you need I get am. You no get problem.

Our eyes widened in shock as we all slowly exchanged glances. I was scared mehn, not scared scared, but I was terrified. We had just met a supplier – a supplier of human body parts! He must have mistaken Biggie for a politician or a business man cos he was obviously scoping for new clients. Biggie composed himself as they continued their discussion.

Biggie: No worry we still dey. Shebi you dey inside?

Man: I dey now. Na my town be this.

Biggie: No worry if we need anything we go let you know.

As the man went back inside we mulled over what had just happened in disbelief.

WHAT??!!!

We looked out into the darkness and decided it would be better to spend the night at the hotel instead of adventuring further looking for God knows what before beta problem go jam us. We decided to have a few drinks at the bar and call it a night. We went into the bar, all four of us, and ordered four bottles of Viju chocolate with glass cups, and proceeded to mix the contents with our bottles of codeine.

Okeke’s babe kept the joints of SK coming, and an unopened Jack Daniel stood dangerously and proudly in the middle of our table. There were a few people at the bar, including the ritualist and some old, creepy looking men at their own table. His eyes never left our table as he looked at us with a mixture of hunger and curiosity – curiosity at the paraphernalia on our table. As I was observing the goings on around me, I noticed the paintings on the wall; they were weird mehn.

There was a painting of a man battling a snake as big as an anaconda. The snake had him in a deathly embrace as it wrapped itself around him ready to devour while the man stood in defiance with his weapon raised, ready to strike. My heart started to beat rapidly as I wondered what the painting meant. Another showed two hands reaching for a fruit on a tree in what I assumed was Adam and Eve defying God by eating of the forbidden fruit. The bar man approached our table and asked if we needed ladies for the night, Biggie said yes, that he couldn’t take anymore of the oppression from Okeke and his babe, while me I was just looking around as if I was expecting a surprise attack from unknown forces.

The bar man returned about thirty minutes later with two ‘babes’, one for me and one for Biggie. I sat in my chair staring at the ‘babe’ assigned to me like she was an alien, wondering if I was ever going to get high enough that night to fvck her, wondering if I was that brave, wondering if my preek wasn’t going to shrivel and fall off if I dared such.

God forgive me, but she was hideous, had such a big head and muscular biceps, and a shade of ‘black’ that I wasn’t really into, Biggie’s ‘babe’ wasn’t that much better, in fact it was like they were in a competition to see who was uglier. I wonder what the bar man was thinking but then again we were quite literally somehow in the middle of nowhere. Maybe this was the benchmark for confam and standard babes.

Biggie summoned the bar man and somehow we managed to discharge the ‘cream’ babes, just then the ritualist approached our table with an inquisitive look on his face. He pointed to our bottle of codeine:

“Abeg na wetin be this wey una dey take?”

“You like am? Taste am na?” Biggie said, handing him his own bottle. Instead of tasting it, the man took it back to his table to share what he had just discovered with his friends. I was just watching the man like I was watching NatGeo wild. Where there was a man I could only see an animal.

This man was dealing in human parts for heaven’s sake!

Few minutes later the ritualist and his goons fell fast asleep at their table and we all laughed at them. Dem wan try wetin their head no fit carry loooool. We stayed for long at the bar, no curfew, until it was just us and the sleeping ritualist and friends. We were drinking, smoking, and soon we started rapping and freestyling. We later retired to our rooms but I never fell asleep. I sat on the floor with my back against the door smoking, like I was expecting someone to come barging through the door at any moment to cut off my big head and Biggie’s big bo.obs, like there was a possibility that my co.ck would be parted from my body if I let my guard down.

So I sat there smoking and listening to Okeke gbenshing the living daylights out of his babe in ZA OZZA ROOM while Biggie snored like a malfunctioning locomotive train right in front me. Agro wanted to finish me in the left side of my brain, while the right side remembered all those oyinbo horror movies I’d watched that started out this way (Wrong Turn, anyone?).

Morning reached and we continued drinking, smoking, and laughing about the events of the day before in excitement and disbelief. As we boarded a bus back to Egypt our home, the words of that man in Orange Hotel kept playing back in my head over and over in an endless loop:

“Whether na human head, human hand, man preek, virgin tohtoh, old woman bre.ast, anything you need I get am. You no get problem.”

That remains an experience I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Till next time,

XOXO

Wayward Pikin.

https://thewaywardpikin.com/my-weird-creepy-experience-at-erin-ijesha-waterfalls/

AududuNine11:
Should a believer join any PROTEST, DEMONSTRATE, CARRY PLACARDS?

Here's my view as a believer regarding PROTEST/DEMONSTRATION - peaceful or not peaceful, SARS related or not:

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
1 Corinthians 10:23 KJV

Orestino:
issoright

TrumpDonald2:
Location Port Harcourt

Buy and drive

For Enquiry/Inspection
Contact Emeka Ugo (Pazz Autos)
07036831386 Whatsapp Inclusive

Kindly click on this link to see other cars available for sale https://www.nairaland.com/trumpdonald2/topics

romeo411:
I honestly want to switch to programming as in carrier change, considering that I am 40, can I still make it giving every input I put in.

ugobestozo:
Hi NL,


I created a new moniker for this due to personal reasons. i just wanna make enquiries and get feed backs from experts and experience people in the house.

MY BUDGET IS BETWEEN 700K TO 1M NAIRA.

what car can i buy for this budget??

I DONT wanna use it for any commercial purchase or any related sort.

ITS FOR PERSONAL USE/PURPOSE.

I m a single guy but not married yet.

PLEASE I WOULD APPRECIATE HONEST REPLY AND SUGGESTIONS PLEASE.

LASTLY, WHERE CAN I GET A SUITABLE CAR THAT FITS THE ABOVE STIPULATED BUDGET AND PERSONALITY..

LOCATION: LAGOS

PLEASE CHIP YOUR GOOD THOUGHTS.

P.s: i tried checking cars45 online but i dont like their cars, they look overused and over priced.

Thank you

sholatech:
Interested.

How many Tons capacity?
How many tires?

annex1:
When I was younger his favourite brands were Gulder, Star and Heineken.
Eventually dumped Gulder and settled for Heineken. Did whisky as well. I doubt I can call him just a social drinker. he'll drive out after work or he'll have the fridge stocked up. Then his favorite whisky in the bedroom. He generally had a nice time when he's inebriated plus he is very funny person so expect a lot of comedy moments.

I ran alot of errands buying him drinks. He has a very heightened smell - I dont know how or where he learnt that. There was this time he smelt alomo I was drinking in my room just by passing the corridor. He warned me sternly to only I repeat ONLY drink beer. Ironical
There were days he'll bandy me along to bars with his friend and expect me to drink as well but I never felt well drinking beer at the same table with my dad.
Plus I was expected to drive him. Most times when he isnt back we'll panic knowing he is drinking and still expected to drive.
Most times I'll have to locate where he was so I'll drive or bring him home.
There was this day he was at a neighbour's place and it was eating into the night. Bottles were def involved. I legit walked to their gate, entered the house and into their presence and asked that we leave. He just laughed, said "my son has spoken", greeted them and left with me

He lost his job in 2006. I was barely out of secondary school. The intoxication increased. But we all understood and supported him especially me. There were quarrels many nights but tranquility the morning after. He never kept grudges, hell he doesnt even know how to be angry.
He'll get mad at you this minute and next minute acting like nothing happened.
But with the drinks, I'll support him sometimes to his bed. My mom would get embarrassed, nag, shout and get irritated when he drinks even at social functions you know how women are, but never me! Never! I was never embarrased. I was always happy to be around and support him during these periods sef. I realised at a young age that no one is perfect! Not you, not me, not him. So i stopped feeling shame!

He was my superman. My Alpha Male. My role model, though he drank or smoke (something he always wanted to quit) this man spared nothing to support, provide and keep our family together. Ensured all I repeat all were trained. I alone was a handful but he was always there. Always fuckin there! When I behaved badly, he was there! Performed excellently, he was! Even when I was bed ridden guess who was there? HIM! although he'll find time to take a few at intervals. He was NEVER NOT THERE!

So despite the alcohol and the cigarettes. AND INCLUDING THE ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES, MY DAD CAN DO ME NO WRONG!
He is quite elderly now so the drinking has toned down to with his age. But he is still perfect to me!

Kobicove:
Who is this person?

Who even made you a doctor?

Get off my mention before I give you an e-slap!

Kobicove:
How can a 55year old man who is relatively well to do says he is suffering from depression.

He's a nutcase as far as I'm concerned!

EzePromoe:
From my experience, there are so many Anambra millionaires who dress worse than this. I've seen an Onitsha trader (trading was just his camouflage) who owned several mansions in Enugu, Abuja and Lagos which he rented out to people (film makers inclusive) but he always dressed so casually. Until he died that was when we started discovering things. "Fools will judge people based on their dressing but the bigger fools would judge an Igbo businessman's financial status based on dressing".

tosan245:
Pristine Foreign Used Atego Truck for Sale.
Strong, very sharp and good to go.
Location: Lagos
Price: N7M
Colour:Yellow
Transmission: Manual
State: Foregin Used.
Contact: 09056748425 (WhatsApp/Text/Call)

Just Buy and Drive home!!!

victorazyvictor:
Na ur type them they use do money

Moneystopnonsen:
You can even start with zero balance. All you need do is to be sure the person you are supplying to is going to pay you as you drop it.

The day I started 5k was my last card and I needed about 27k to buy the sand and pay the driver his motor balance(truck fare). I was not discouraged. I went to the sand dump, the first driver I met and explained to was so kind and used his money to complete buying of the sand, and when the owner paid me, i balanced him. And the minimum gain u can make is 5k per trip, u can even make close to 17k per trip wen u add dagbo and when u jam a novice.

KingSatan:
YOU ARE A GOOD MAN MY SON!

THIS IS WHERE I GET ANGRY WITH TODAY'S GRADUATES. WHY DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU CANT APPLY THE KNOWLEDGE YOU BOUGHT (THAT IS IF THEY HAVE ANY) WITH YOUR MONEY FROM THE TERTIARY INSTITUTION TO SOLVE LIFE'S PROBLEMS?

YOU GO TO SCHOOL JUST TO GET JOBS?

I ONCE TOLD A GRADUATE TO GO AND ORGANISE THE COMMUNITY YOUTHS AND REFORM THE REVENUE COLLECTION UNIT. BEFORE NOW, THAT UNIT WAS BASICALLY FOR THUGS AND THEY HARASS AND INTIMIDATE PEOPLE JUST TO EXTORT FROM THEM. THOUGH THEY REMIT THE ALLOCATED AMOUNT TO THE LGA BUT THEIR MODUS OPERANDI WAS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OTHER PART OF THE WORLD. THIS GRADUATE DECLINED AND CONTINUED HIS JOB HUNTING. I GAVE THAT SAME IDEA TO SOMEONE (ANOTHER GRADUATE) AND TODAY HE IS MARRIED, HAVE KIDS AND WAS BUILDING HIS OWN HOME WHEN I SAW HIM LAST. THE OTHER ONE IS STILL JOB HUNTING.

DO YOU KNOW THAT IN THAT COMMUNITY THEY OFFER ELECTRONIC RECEIPTS FOR DEVELOPMENT LEVIES AND REVENUE?

THEY CAN PAY FROM THE COMFORT OF THEIR HOMES?

ALL THESE FROM AN INNOVATIVE MIND WHO DIDN'T LOOK DOWN ON MY IDEA.

THIS ALSO CREATED INDIRECT JOBS AS NEW CYBER CAFES SPRUNG UP IN THE COMMUNITY.

SOMETIMES THE LGA'S ALLOCATE JUST 500,000 NAIRA TO A CERTAIN COMMUNITY. BUT THIS GUYS MAKE X10 OF THAT AMOUNT IN A MONTH. IF NOT FOR THEIR THUGGERY AND ILLITERACY, THEY WOULD BE MILLIONAIRES. SAME THING APPLIES TO COMMERCIAL DRIVERS TOO.


BACK TO YOU MY 11K SALARY SON.

ITS TIME TO QUIT THAT JOB OR ELSE I RECALL YOU.


IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA, THEN RELOCATE TO ABUJA AND GET A CAR FOR UBER/TAXIFY.

AT LEAST I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE WHO MADE GOOD MONEY DOING THAT BUSINESS.

annabel8:
Finally! I am here oh...Watch my photo section with the admin. They host me for winning big

ogwomba:
The design for your Skids are to BS 7072, am looking for one designed to BS En 12079 or DNV 2.7.