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Family / Re: My Wife Hates My Step-Daughter. Please Help by tosan245(m): 3:04pm On Nov 30, 2022
Your Aunty that went behind you to tell your wife did that to what aim?
Now she might be somewhere living her life while you are caught in a Web of complications.
(Reason why we should be very careful with the people that comes into our personal space).
Ironically, the aunty might have told her with good intentions but now the whole situation is messy.

You were noble enough to marry your first wife even with another man's child but your present wife is having difficulties with accepting your stance.
Do not throw away your nobility because of her.

Your promise is your bond and you are meant to keep to it mind you, if anything happens to you today, that means even your biological kids from your first wife are at risk of negligence from your present wife.

Think deeply & apply wisdom!!!


Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?



Nairaland / General / Re: I Tend To Lie Unnecessarily. Please Help by tosan245(m): 7:50pm On Nov 27, 2022
I guess you have heard of the Word Fiction, that's just a literal term for lie.
The difference is while Fiction is constructive to tell a story that's pleasing to the eyes and senses without any intention to create chaos, injure or distort reality, lie is the reverse.

Find a way to become a creative writer, you would do well as a Fiction writer.

Also do research on Pathology, Pathologic lying would cause you more harm than good.
Take control of who you are !!!!


Jackanda1:
Hello house. Is there any one that has this problem? It seems there is a part of my brain that is wired this way for years now.

While most people lie to escape punishment and blame etc, i tend to lie for no reason atall. Sometimes i need to lie further just to modify the initial lie.

Examples:
1. I went late to work because i had to take home some office files which i worked with all through the night. When asked, i lied to my boss that i had a compound dispute tha made me come late. Saying the truth would have earned me praises from my boss and saved me alot of stress.

2. I got injured at home. When my landlady asked how, i lied that i had a serious accident when going to work that morning.
I told her a long story about the accident scene and all. She was sympatizing with me and almost wept. embarassed

These are just few examples i can type now, there is more.

I can't help but lie most of the time i have conversation with people. Any advice?

nlfpmod, seun

1 Like 1 Share

Family / Re: Babies Are Attracted To Me. by tosan245(m): 6:28pm On Nov 27, 2022
Research of this same experience brought me here.
I was in church today and there was a lady carrying a baby girl In front of me, this baby was just looking at me for a long time.

There was another baby girl of about 3yrs old that literally left her sister and stayed with me till the end of the service.

There was a baby boy of about 3yrs too that was walking by and he looked back smiling at me and I returned The smile.

I observed another baby boy looking at me from a far and he was also smiling.

The baby in front of me looked at me to the point I had to carry her for a while and she was so comfortable and happy.

At about 10 mins into the close of service the baby girl that left her sister to stay with me countenance changed and she was moody, when the service finally ended she started crying.

I have never had such experience!!!


misspicy:
I have discovered through observation and people's opinion that babies are always attracted to me.
In a gathering like church any baby sitting close to me with thier mother or a relative always want me to carry them,sometime they begin crying if i refuse to carry them.
Even in a public transport,babies on thier mothera back will be crying and reaching out for me to carry them.There was a day i carried a baby in a public transport,when i got to my bustop this baby refuse to let me go and started crying seriously when i gave her back to her mother.
Am not married and i have never given birth.
Is there anybody experiencing this,please whats ur experience like and how do you cope
Is it normal?
Crime / Re: Nigerian Man Kills Himself During Police Chase After Shooting His Wife And Mom by tosan245(m): 7:41pm On Jun 02, 2022
One issue with foreign reporters, when a Blackman commits a crime they would be so quick to streamline his origin to his roots like "A Nigerian living in United States has committed............" but if a blackman was to achieve a ground breaking feat they either report is as "A Blackman by name has just discovered......." or they claim him like this "An African American has just found the cure for............."
infoviraltuned:


https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2022/6/update-nigerian-man-kills-himself-during-police-chase-after-shooting-his-wife-and-killing-her-mother-in-the-us-3-month-old-son-found-safe.html


Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/7157772/nigerian-man-shoots-wife-kills

2 Likes

Crime / Re: Have You Ever Tried To Annoy A Scammer Who Called You? If So, What Happened? by tosan245(m): 5:38am On May 30, 2022
obembet:
Have you ever tried to annoy a scammer who called you? If so, what happened?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB_uCwMo2Gk

1 Like

Romance / Re: My Girlfriend Gives Men My Number, I'm Tired!!! by tosan245(m): 1:02pm On May 03, 2022
It's called "smoke screen" while you are distracted with the ones she give your no to, she would have time to be focused with the ones she actually gives her no to.
That way she makes u feel she is trustworthy!!!!

Tonero5200:
Minimum a day I get 2 calls from different male voice wanting to speak with the owner of the phone, my girlfriend. offcus it's my phone, but she's the one giving them my contact, the whatsapp messages I get some times it's alarming, have warned her several times for her to stop, she thinks doing that will earn her my trust instead it's making me to have several doubts about our relationship status.

We quarreled some time ago can you imagine she' told me it's like am using charm on her, can't I see the number of guys thats asking her out. yes she's pretty, sometimes I wonder, it's More like she's trying to prove something to me but I need her to stop giving my number out to guys, how do I do that?
Education / Re: Truth Or Dare: Mother Of Julian, 10-Year-Old Chrisland Gang-Raped Student Speaks by tosan245(m): 3:05am On Apr 19, 2022
Beyond the Emotional front that she is Presenting, something seem very off about her story.
Poor Parenting can be seen here and corruption eats deep in the school.
Parents needs to pay Serious Attention to their kids these days
FutureIsFemale:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CcfOhDjITeE/

Watch the video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5Cbmvios5I
Literature / Re: . by tosan245(m): 11:00pm On Apr 12, 2022
It's an Awareness and not a complaint.
By the way, that was written a very long time ago.
Shalom
blazingblender:
Dude that same shit u are facing
They are also facing it
They wie sent to impact knowledge into you and not turn you against you country or make you feel education is a waste of time
If you are complaining about yours have you ever for once thought of how they nabage yo teavh you with empty stomach due to delayed payment of salary that may even extend to months
And they always come to class to teach you.
So dude it ain't no one's fault
We just allowed the wicked to rule
Literature / . by tosan245(m): 10:34pm On Apr 12, 2022
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Literature / . by tosan245(m): 10:24pm On Apr 12, 2022
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TV/Movies / Re: Which Nigerian Skit Maker Is So Boring?? by tosan245(m): 1:46pm On Mar 19, 2022
All I know is I always look forward to Nasboi's skit.
He has a very creative mind

Flahyuq:
If they had to arrest a Nigerian Skit maker for being too boring....who would it be??

Mine--Broda Shaggi

Funniest Skit maker for me is Nasty Black!
Taoomma is becoming so boring too



Who is yours??
Phones / Re: Does Mobile Phone Lose Camera Quality After Sometime? by tosan245(m): 1:29pm On Mar 19, 2022
On the contrary, after the recent Software Upgrade done on Samsung Phones, my Samsung A11 Camera seems to more sharper than before.

lastchild:
i discovered that my tecno spark has lost quality in camera quality. could the fault be from my sight?
Business / Re: Is There Any Need To Confirm Cash After ATM Dispensary? by tosan245(m): 8:26am On Feb 20, 2022
There is every need to.
I once received counterfeit from an ATM.
NaijaMutant:
I stumbled on a thread where a robot was used as a waiter, then a Nairalander commented saying despite the all the years ATM has been in operation, both tested and trust, still Nigerians count their cash after dispensary.

I am one of them grin

I still do not trust the ATM to dispense accurately. Once bitten, twice shy.

Why in school, I've been once short paid by the ATM. I withdrew 3,000 Naira but it dispensed 2,500 Naira

As little as little as the money may sound, it meant a lot to me then.

Ever since, I dey count my money to confirm grin

Share your experience
Crime / Re: Lady Discovers Her Dad Created Anonymous OnlyFans Accounts To Watch Her Nudes by tosan245(m): 8:56am On Feb 03, 2022

1 Like

Autos / Re: Pristine Gx470 For Sale.. SOLD!!! by tosan245(m): 9:16pm On Jan 27, 2022
Exactly what I typed, so what's your point exactly ?
1Alex:
This is GX 460 oga.
Health / How To Quit/start a Habit/lifestyle by tosan245(m): 7:24am On Jan 27, 2022
It Takes 21 days to form a Habit and 90days to develop a lifestyle.
Are you struggling to Quit/Develop a Habit then Stop/Do it for 21 days to program your mindset in order to make it a habit then stretch it to 90 days to make it a lifestyle.
In our personal endeavours, in school, workplace, health, finance, social strata there is always something we want to Quit/Develop.
I hope someone takes this information and run with it.

If you can think it, you can achieve it.

Autos / X by tosan245(m): 7:11pm On Jan 24, 2022
X
Autos / Pristine Gx470 For Sale.. SOLD!!! by tosan245(m): 10:41am On Jan 24, 2022
Pristine Lexus Gx460 (2011 upgraded to 2020) for sale.
Price: N13.7M
Location: Lagos.

Buy & Zoom off...and when you get home, you would call to say Thank You.

The car is in awesome Condition

Religion / Re: Man Attacks Bishop Oyedepo On The Pulpit (Video) by tosan245(m): 10:05pm On Dec 14, 2021
When Jesus was here on earth, a certain lady with the issue of blood did something similar, she struggled through the crowd just to touch the hem of His garment. Probably, the guy was trying to do something similar.
MatterAriseLive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpkyDlI3Tas



https://pmnewsnigeria.com/2021/12/14/strange-man-attacks-oyedepo-on-pulpit-video/?amp=1
Business / Re: Obi Cubana Buys 2022 Mercedes Benz Maybach S580 Guard 4matic Bulletproof by tosan245(m): 11:12am On Nov 27, 2021
You are blessed and also wise for saying this
nzeobi:


Even if you are silly, Don't make it so obvious
Career / Re: Setting Up A Barbershop Or Going To School Abroad by tosan245(m): 4:20pm On Nov 12, 2021
Go abroad, continue with your school, build up other skills and remember, you can still cut hair abroad because it might seem as though you have a passion for it.
I repeat, go Abroad, continue with school and build yourself well, you are young, energetic and obviously purpose driven, there comes a time when a man has to think for himself and his growth, it's not selfishness but Self-care.
Ewroghene1:
Good day NLs
I will go straight to the point
First born in the family with big responsibility you know already,. Mother always demanding due to the status of the family, currently 25yrs.
Occupation : Barber

Your advice shall help a long way...
Have been saving but not complete, planning ahead

But my dreams are high and know I will accomplish them...
stopped schooling 2015, with S.S.C.E started hustling.....

First: should I open a barbershop with my little savings
Or
Second: go abroad and continue my school and become a graduate. And explore other lifestyles
I know opening the shop will help a long way(money)
And going abroad will also help

Reminder : I have mother and siblings to take care of with the little I can support
Please I need You advice
And can I work with the experience I have as a barber here in Nigeria to places like Turkey or Poland

Please help forward to Frontpage

1 Like 2 Shares

Family / Re: Can This Be How Generational Curses Begin? by tosan245(m): 6:54am On Nov 01, 2021
Risenjoe, you beat your Papa abi you nor beat your papa?
grin grin
RisenJoe:
Let me put it this way,

A young man had a qurrel with his old man and out of anoyance he beats his Dad and now the Father laid a curse on him that his kids will beat him(the young man) the same way he dealt with his Dad.

Now the young man grew old and one day he had an issue with his son and his son beat him up the same way he did his own Dad due to the curse laid on him by his Dad. And he in turn might have forgotten about the curse his father laid on him, now my question is what happens if he in turn lays a curse on his own son?

Will the curse come to pass knowing very well that his own son dealt with him the same way he dealt with his own Dad?

Pls I need contributions and opinions on this.

Education / Re: Fredrick Mensah: Ghana Teacher's Method Of Welcoming Pupils To Class Causes Stir by tosan245(m): 8:51am On Oct 07, 2021
Your signature says "God is my Guide".
You were definitely not guided by God to type this misguided conclusion.
longetivity:
Werey dey use style tap innocent girls current

1 Like

Literature / Re: As We Prepare For Independence Day, Read This!!! by tosan245(m): 2:02pm On Oct 01, 2021
tosan245:
October 1st

Independence day it claims,
but the picture doesn't rhyme with the frame.
At the upper Echelon,
The political elites dine the National Cake.
While the Poor Masses Stomach aches.

Independence day it claims,
but the value of the Naira totally drains.
One Dollar is Four Hundred Naira,
Yet One Naira can not afford even a Gala.
October 1st, Independence day it claims.

October 1st.
Our Children's blood still soaks our Soil,
by the Trigger of that Force official called SARS.
Pause for a minute and think,
Is the Labour of our Heroes Past sliding in Vain?

October 1st.
Adorn a Green and White Regalia,
shrink your suffering and wear a smile.
Sweep your pains Under the Carpet,
Present a Patriotic Front, be good at it.
For October 1st claims to be Independence Day!!!


Guobadia Iyen Tosan


Romance / Re: My Fiancee's Anger Issues by tosan245(m): 10:20pm On Jul 25, 2021
I would have written a long epistle but at the end the main message would be "Run oh".
Read the above word for word and let it sink in!!!
mario22:
My fianceé anger issue is worrisome to me. ones she has a bad day, I will get my own share at home. I have begged her all i need in this marriage is togetherness, peace (she jokingly calling me Mr. peace of mind).

She just graduated and we are staying together for 2months now. She can be very sweet and hardworking, caring, can clean, arrange the house. I don't expect her to be this all good cos NOBODY is perfect, but her anger issue a big turn off.

When her Project supervisor was purposely frustrating her, and told her he will not accept her work and she will not defend (it was sorted out later) . I tried to talk and advise her she angrily walked out of my car in the middle of the road.

That night she wasn't talking to me and i started a call n went to the parlor, she came and was asking whom i was talking to and i said my guy, she queried but why did i go to the parlor, she flung our engagement ring away without knowing whom i was talking to (not cheating or calling any girl) she makes rash decisions when angry. like She can scatter our 2weeks plans cos of a small provocation.

I Love her but the anger issues is killing.
Science/Technology / Re: Hungry Hyena Carrying Severed Head Of Zebra In Its Mouth In South Africa (Photo) by tosan245(m): 6:56pm On Jul 22, 2021
How did the Reporter know the weight of the Hyenas and the weight of the Zebra decapitated head?
HolinessForever:


https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/15660562/moment-hungry-hyena-carries-severed-zebra-head/amp/
Crime / Re: David Etute Accused Of Killing Man Posing As Woman On Dating App In US by tosan245(m): 7:11pm On Jun 11, 2021
If the dude had won a Spectacular feat in his field,
he would have been tagged an American now that he has committed murder they have suddenly remembered he is a Nigerian.
These Narrative needs to changed!!!!
These folks are dragging our name through the mud.
ijustdey:


https://punchng.com/punch-diaspora-nigerian-etute-accused-of-killing-man-posing-as-woman-on-dating-app/
Car Talk / Re: Bringing a Mercedes from Lagos to Calabar; and my tough ordeals! by tosan245(m): 2:47pm On Jun 08, 2021
You are truly an "AngryGoat"
Angrygoat:
Lol why stressing yourself over am outdated naija used cls. Why didn't you tow it or hire a company to do it. U never see problem yet. Sheybi na benz u wan drive. Dont worry from 300k plus ,u go still spend another 500k. Then the cycle continues which eventually it will land on nairaland as 6months used. Dont buy benz,una no go here. U go hail later,no worry.
Investment / Re: Can The Board Of Directors Fire The Owner Of A Company? by tosan245(m): 8:48pm On Jun 06, 2021
The CEO can be fired. Steve Jobs the Founder of Apple we all know was once Sacked and replaced, Bill Gates a Co-Founder of Microsoft had to resign after the Board of Directors carried out an Investigation on some of his affairs.
This happens a lot.
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is another intersting case in this regards where the Founder was displaced.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/deadline.com/2021/05/bill-gates-microsoft-board-for-inappropriate-relationship-jeffrey-epstein-melinda-gates-1234758254/amp/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/steve-jobs-apple-fired-returned-2017-7%3famp


Casper21:
The question “Can the board of directors fire the owner?” is becoming increasingly contentious. CEOs and founders of companies often find themselves out of a job after being fired by means of a vote undertaken by the board of the company. If the person in question is not the owner of a controlling share in the company, there is not much they can do to avoid being fired.

Sharing the ownership of a company leads to loss of total control over it. As external investors are brought in, owners' shares get diluted, and the founder of a company can often find that he or she owns less than half of the shares in that company. This leaves him or her at risk of being fired.

If a CEO has a contract in place, he or she may get fired at the end of that contract period, if the company has new owners or is moving in a new direction.

The CEO, despite being the person who incorporated the company, often gets fired in times when the company is experiencing a slump in financial performance. This is because internal company politics and differing leadership styles render people vulnerable.

If a founder gets fired, then the company's investors have obviously lost confidence in that founder's ability to establish profitability. Or, in the case of a company that is already turning a profit, they do not consider the founder capable of helping the company grow and evolving to meet the needs of a changing market.


...Strategies for Avoiding Dismissal....

Tech Crunch advises executives to always remain defensive, working with key players and building personal relationships with board members and shareholders. These, according to Tech Crunch, are the most important strategies in defending oneself from being attacked by the board of one's own company.

Founders and CEOs need to focus on more than the fact that they are indispensable – they also need to recognize the areas in which they are vulnerable. They can do this in a number of ways:

Knowing whether or not a board vote is enough to fire them.

Being aware of whether or not alleged wrongdoings need to have taken place in order for them to be dismissed.

Keeping one's ears open to listen for complaints and expressions of discontent, and
Being careful of the contracts that they sign.
An important step that CEOs can take to protect their position is to get all promises in writing. A CEO should never trust anybody who claims to always have his or her back.
Investment / Re: Can The Board Of Directors Fire The Owner Of A Company? by tosan245(m): 8:47pm On Jun 06, 2021
The CEO can be fired. Bill Gates a Co-Founder of Microsoft had to resign after the Board of Directors carried out an Investigation on some of his affairs.
This happens a lot.
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is another intersting case in the regards where the Founder was displaced.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/deadline.com/2021/05/bill-gates-microsoft-board-for-inappropriate-relationship-jeffrey-epstein-melinda-gates-1234758254/amp/

Casper21:
The question “Can the board of directors fire the owner?” is becoming increasingly contentious. CEOs and founders of companies often find themselves out of a job after being fired by means of a vote undertaken by the board of the company. If the person in question is not the owner of a controlling share in the company, there is not much they can do to avoid being fired.

Sharing the ownership of a company leads to loss of total control over it. As external investors are brought in, owners' shares get diluted, and the founder of a company can often find that he or she owns less than half of the shares in that company. This leaves him or her at risk of being fired.

If a CEO has a contract in place, he or she may get fired at the end of that contract period, if the company has new owners or is moving in a new direction.

The CEO, despite being the person who incorporated the company, often gets fired in times when the company is experiencing a slump in financial performance. This is because internal company politics and differing leadership styles render people vulnerable.

If a founder gets fired, then the company's investors have obviously lost confidence in that founder's ability to establish profitability. Or, in the case of a company that is already turning a profit, they do not consider the founder capable of helping the company grow and evolving to meet the needs of a changing market.


...Strategies for Avoiding Dismissal....

Tech Crunch advises executives to always remain defensive, working with key players and building personal relationships with board members and shareholders. These, according to Tech Crunch, are the most important strategies in defending oneself from being attacked by the board of one's own company.

Founders and CEOs need to focus on more than the fact that they are indispensable – they also need to recognize the areas in which they are vulnerable. They can do this in a number of ways:

Knowing whether or not a board vote is enough to fire them.

Being aware of whether or not alleged wrongdoings need to have taken place in order for them to be dismissed.

Keeping one's ears open to listen for complaints and expressions of discontent, and
Being careful of the contracts that they sign.
An important step that CEOs can take to protect their position is to get all promises in writing. A CEO should never trust anybody who claims to always have his or her back.
Career / Re: When Is A Man Said To Be Successful by tosan245(m): 10:59pm On Jun 02, 2021
Success is relative.
Let me place two Scenarios.
Alinko Dangote finally Opens a Refinery in Nigeria and a group of Armed Robbers robbed a Bank and carted away with a lot of Cash.
Which of the example given above would you say is Successful?

Success is simply the act of achieveing Set Goal(s) and achieving it/them.
The Reason why a lot of folks loss focus is because the Society has set a blueprint of the definition of Success.
Success is simply the definition we give it. Focus on yours.
Enehdebby:
Can we actually say that a poor Man is successful and what do you mean when you say that someone is successful in life?

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