₦airaland Forum

A boy in my area had 8A1 and 1B2. This one no be them say... I saw it my self
for now i think he is the best this year.

I dey greet every pre-mature otondo in the house.
How is ur moral?
Are u motivated
Are you good to go?
This is senior ajuwaya in the house, just peeping
am currently serving as a batch A corps member in Ebonyi stats, the salt of the nation.
For those of u that want to serve in lagos, abuja and may be ph, it is easier to be deployed there than to re-deploy there. Therefore, do the working b4 orietation camps begin. NOTE; for those that want to redeploy from camp, and u'r not a married woman, go there with a medical report from a hospital that u'r sick or something, if not, u are most likely not to be granted redeployment. As for married women and may be those posted to northern states, your's are automatic, nevertheless, go to camp with proof that u'r indeed married.
I hope this helps
as u guys obey the clarion call, I remove head dress.
Wi ooooo.....

Hello all,
I received a message yesterday from jobber.com that uniben has began the sales of supplimentary form for pg applicants.
How true is it?

Is biology a prerequisite for engineering in ui?
Can f/m or geography stand as the 5th subject?
How important is the olevel grades 4 UI DE applicant?

do ur university give bsc with (hons)?
Or are u a holder of bsc(hons)
what
does that 'Hons' mean?

deolu12: please i wuld like to know,,when u log in ,does the online form come pre filled.i keep tryin to log in but it tell me submission not sucessful,check jamb reg no and this i have checked and checked,,could it be again because i chose it as a second choice,,please help

i think the ui DE online process is just for 1st choice applicants. Check it out @ui website. Probably that's the reason why u can't log-in.

what i can logically deduce from this whole situation is that the church has been causing the people of the community to covert from islam to christian(check their names) and u and i knows what it means to the muslims.
I know of several people who are threatened with death just because they converted from muslim to christian. Lets not pretend, thats the trend.

by their fruit u shall kno them

[quote author=Abu-Ruqayya]muslim are always protected by Almighty Allah.... while.christian are godless and faceless people that is why they are always at the disadvantage.[/quote]u are proving my point
what has xtians done to u?
Why do u hate them this much
what is the different with u and bh?
Words are also bombs cause they can also cause damages
watch ur tongue please

boko haram or what eva they call themselves are anti-christians. They hate xtians, they bomb churches, shoot unarmed xtian worshipers.
This doesn't mean all muslims are bad, but i can't understand it why most muslims still do not want to agree with this simple truth that xtians are the target of bh! Does it mean something else?
Most muslims directly or indirectly justify the actions of these blood sucking demons. Fine, they(bh) are muslims. But there can be a juda any where if there was one among christ diciples. Lets agree we have a common enemy called bh not defending them because of the common religion u share.

lady and the Manager
An elderly lady decided to
give herself a big treat for
her significant birthday by
staying overnight in one of
London ’s most expensive
hotels.

When she checked
out next morning, the desk
clerk handed her a bill for
£250.00.

She demanded to speak to
the Manager.The Manager
said “the hotel has an
Olympic-sized pool and a
huge conference centre
which are available for use.”
‘But I didn’t use them,” she
said.

”Well, they are here, and
you could have,” explained
the Manager.
He went on to explain that
she could also have seen
one of the in-hotel shows
for which the hotel is
famous.
“But I didn’t go to any of
those shows,” she said.

“Well, we have them, and
you could have,” the
Manager replied.
No matter what amenity
the Manager mentioned, she
replied, “But I didn’t use it!”

The Manager was unmoved,
so she decided to pay,
wrote a cheque and gave it
to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised
when he looked at the
cheque. “But madam, this
cheque is only made out for
£50.00.” ”That’s correct. I
charged you £200.00 for
sleeping with me,” she
replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the
very surprised Manager.
“Well, too bad, I was here,
and you could have.

girls are like bitter pills, u just av to swallow one weda u lyk it or not.
They are man's greatest asset @d same time liability
They are the secret behind every successful and fraustrated man
They are man's joy and agony
Man can't do without them even though life promises to be better without them
They are the vehicle that drives man into the world and the plane tiat flys man out of the world
They come 2ur life, steal ur heart unarmed and u are happy 4 it.
They are not strong but can make the strongest man cry.
The irony of women can not be ova emphacise, but that's the beauty of it all.

yemstok: Bros where you steal this story? Cos I've read this in a magazine few years back.
You no try @all, u for try edit am.

must u condemn?
Why do u need editing?
If u no get any thing to talk, abeg blow whistle.
Bad belle no go kill u.

From the very beginning, the girl’s
family objected strongly on her
dating this guy. Saying that it has
got to do with family background
& that the girl will have to suffer
for the rest of her life if she were
to be with him.
Due to family’s pressure, the
couple quarrel very often. Though
the girl love the guy deeply, but
she always ask him: “How deep is
your love for me?”
As the guy is not good with his
words, this often cause the girl to
be very upset. With that & the
family’s pressure, the girl often
vent her anger on him. As for him,
he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy
finally graduated & decided to
further his studies in overseas.
Before leaving, he proposed to
the girl: “I’m not very good with
words. But all I know is that I love
you. If you allow me, I will take
care of you for the rest of my life.
As for your family, I’ll try my best
to talk them round. Will you marry
me?”
The girl agreed, & with the guy’s
determination, the family finally
gave in & agreed to let them get
married. So before he leave, they
got engaged.
The girl went out to the working
society, whereas the guy was
overseas, continuing his studies.
They sent their love through
emails & phone calls. Though it’s
hard, but both never thought of
giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her
way to work, she was knocked
down by a car that lost control.
When she woke up, she saw her
parents beside her bed. She
realized that she was badly
injured. Seeing her mum crying,
she wanted to comfort her. But
she realized that all that could
come out of her mouth was just a
sigh. She has lost her voice……
The doctors says that the impact
on her brain has caused her to
lose her voice. Listening to her
parents’ comfort, but with
nothing coming out from her, she
broke down.
During the stay in hospital,
besides silence cry….. it’s still just
silence cry that companied her.
Upon reaching home, everything
seems to be the same. Except for
the ringing tone of the phone.
Which pierced into her heart
every time it rang. She does not
wish to let the guy know. & not
wanting to be a burden to him,
she wrote a letter to him saying
that she does not wish to wait
any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back
to him. In return, the guy sent
millions & millions of reply, and
countless of phone calls, all the girl
could do, besides crying, is still
crying….
The parents decided to move
away, hoping that she could
eventually forget everything & be
happy.
With a new environment, the girl
learn sign language & started a
new life. Telling herself everyday
that she must forget the guy. One
day, her friend came & told her
that he’s back. She asked her
friend not to let him know what
happened to her. Since then, there
wasn’t anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend
came with an envelope,
containing an invitation card for
the guy’s wedding. The girl was
shattered. When she open the
letter, she saw her name in it
instead.
When she was about to ask her
friend what’s going on, she saw
the guy standing in front of her.
He used sign language telling her
“I’ve spent a year’s time to learn
sign language. Just to let you
know that I’ve not forgotten our
promise. Let me have the chance
to be your voice. I Love You. With
that, he slipped the ring back into
her finger. The girl finally smiled.

MANAGEMENT LESSONS:
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower
just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in
a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next-door
neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says,
'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob,
after a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the
towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom,
her husband asks, 'Who was
that?'
'It was Bob the next door
neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he
say anything about the $800 he
owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you
may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he
stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember
Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But,
changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father,
remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister
but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun
sighed heavily and went on her
way.
On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm
129. It said, 'Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration
clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find
an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of
you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin
clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas , driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales
rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my
personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to
the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those
two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the
first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree
resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and
asked him, 'Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why
not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the
energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on
some of my droppings?' replied
the bull. They're packed with
nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung, and found it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some
more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the
turkey was proudly perched at
the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a
farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for
the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a
large field.
While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung
on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing
him out!
He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on
you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you
out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit,
it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE
MANAGEMENT COURSE

A little boy asked his mother,
"Why are you crying?" "Because
I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His
Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."
"All women cry for no reason,"
was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and
became a man, still wondering
why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God.
When God got on the phone, he
asked, "God, why do women cry
so easily?"
God said:
"When I made the woman she
had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong
enough to carry the weight of
the world,
yet gentle enough to give
comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to
endure childbirth and the
rejection that many times comes
from her children.
I gave her a hardness that
allows her to keep going when
everyone else gives up, and take
care of her family through
sickness and fatigue without
complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love
her children under any and all
circumstances, even when her
child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her
husband through his faults and
fashioned her from his rib to
protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that
a good husband never hurts his
wife, but sometimes tests her
strengths and her resolve to
stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to
shed. This is hers exclusively to
use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the
beauty of a woman is not in the
clothes she wears, the figure
that she carries, or the way she
combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be
seen in her eyes, because that is
the doorway to her heart - the
place where love resides."
Please read this and inform the
beautiful women you know
today.
You will boost another woman's
self-esteem!
Inform it to every man, so he
can understand

u can neva kno the value of what u have unless u loose it. Our differiences is ment for us to compliment each other.

[quote author=Mynd_44]The moral of this tale is "watch your darned mouth before you spoil everything"[/quote]true talk

bunmioguns: na d poster mumu pass

why are u exposing ur true identity. I no want tell people say na ur story i just share b4. No vex abeg

u no funny

PretiEbony: true talk

@toygods. Don't tell me u didn't laf

it is amazing what a mother can do for her child. The love and bond is so strong and natural.

Message from a Mother to
her Child
After the Earthquake had
subsided, when the rescuers
reached the ruins of a
young
woman’s house, they saw
her
dead body through the
cracks.
But her pose was somehow
strange that she knelt on
her
knees like a person was
worshiping; her body was
leaning
forward and her two hands
were
supporting an object. The
collapsed house had crashed
her
back and her head.
With many difficulties, the
leader
of the rescuer team put his
hand
through a narrow gap on
the wall
to reach the woman’s body.
He
was hoping that this
woman
could still be alive. However,
the
cold and stiff body told him
that
she had passed away. He
and the
rest of the team left this
house
and went to search the next
collapsed building.
For some reasons, the team
leader
was drivenby a compelling
force
to go back to the ruin house
of
the dead woman. Again, he
knelt
down and used his hand
through
the narrow cracks to search
the
little space under the dead
body.
Suddenly, he screamed, “A
child!
There is a child!”
The whole team worked
together,
carefully they removed the
piles of
ruined objects around the
dead
woman. There was a 3
months
old little boy wrapped in a
flowery
blanket under his mother’s
dead
body.
Obviously, the woman had
made
an ultimate sacrifice to save
her
son. When her house was
falling,
she used her body to make
a
cover to protect her son.
The medical doctor came
quickly
to exam the little boy. After
he
opened the blanket, he saw
a cell
phone inside. There was a
text
message on the screen, it
said:
”Dear baby, if you can live,
always
remember that I love you.”

[b][/b][color=#990000][/color]
A boy proposed his
girlfriend for marriage,
Girl: Tell me… who do you
love most in this world..?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: what am I to you?
Boy: The boy thought for a
moment and looked intently
in her eyes and said
“u r missing part of my
heart”
She smiled and she accepted
his proposal.
After their wedding, the
couple had a sweet and
happy life for a while.
However,the youthful
couple began to drift apart
due to the busy schedule of
life and the never-ending
worries of daily problems …
their life became difficult.
All the challenges posed by
the harsh realities of life
began to drift away deir
dreams and love for each
other … The couple began to
have more quarrels and
each quarrel became make
their relation more worst.
One day, after the quarrel,
the girl ran out of the house
…. At the opposite side of
the road, she shouted, “You
don’t love me…!”
The boy hated her
childishness and out of
impulse, said, “May be, it
was a mistake for us to be
together..!
You were never da missing
part of my …!”
Suddenly, she turned quiet
and stood there for a long
while …. He regretted what
he said but words spoken
cant be taken back.
With tears in her eyes, she
went home to pack her
things and Before leaving
the house,she left a note for
him:
“If I’m really not da missing
part of ur love, let me go..n
search for sumone who is …
It is less painful this way…
let us go on our separate
ways and search for our
own partners…”
Five years went by….
He never remarried but he
had tried to find out about
her life indirectly ….. . She
had left the country and
was living her dreams.
He use to regret on what he
did but never tried to bring
her back.. In the dark and
lonely night, he lit his
cigarette and felt the
lingering ache in his
heart.He couldn’t bring
himself to admit that he
was missing her…..
One day, they finally met….
At the airport, He was going
away on a business trip .He
saw her,She was standing
there alone, with just the
security door separating
them.
She smiled at him gently.
Boy: How are you ?
Girl: I’m fine. How about
you… Have you found your
heart’s missing part…?
Boy: No.
Girl: I’ll be flying to New
York in the next flight.
Boy: I’ll be back in 2 weeks
time. Give me a call when
you are back…You know my
number…. Nothing has
changed.
With a smile, she turned
around and waved good-
bye..
“Good-bye . . .”
Same evening he heard of a
plane crash which was
headed to New York.He
tried to know about her and
found that,She died.
Midnight….. Once again, he
lit his cigarette….. And like
before, he felt the lingering
ache in his heart…. He finally
knew, she was that missing
part that he had carelessly
broken . . .
Sometimes, people say
things out of moments of
fury…..
We take out our 99%
frustrations at our loved
ones…. And even though we
know that we ought
to”think twice and act
wisely”, we actually don’t
do it. Things happen each
day, many of which are
beyond our control.
Try not to hurt ur loved
once, because a moment of
anger could b a lifetime
punishment..?

Mr James & his friend Mr
Oko
were arguing about their
sons
stupidity. Mr James argued
dat
his son was more silly than
Oko’s
son. Oko however
disagreed, so
they decided 2 put their
sons 2
test. James called his son &
asked
him 2 buy something 4 him
@ d
market. The boy ran out
without
even asking 4 what 2 buy &
money. James said,” U¯_?? °
how silly
he is? he didn’t even ask 4
what
2 buy or money “Mr Oko
retorted,is this what U¯_?? °
call
foolishness? just wait & ,
Oko
calls his son & said “go
home &
check if i am in d house”
Oko’s
son took 2 his heel & came
back
panting,”papa U¯_?? ° no
dey house.
Mama say U¯_?? ° dey your
friend
place,
Abeg which one mumu
pass?

WHY NIGERIA MUST BREAK UP
NOW
By Osita Ebiem
There are a thousand and one
reasons why Nigeria as a matter
of urgency must split up along
ethnic/cultural lines as soon as
today. (The emphasis here is on
the now for very obvious
reasons). We are going to
discuss a
Nigeria Breakup2
number of them but since the
reasons can be said to be just as
many as the number of people
there are within the
geographical space in question
then we can only name so much
here. The reasons are quite
many, almost inexhaustible.
Nigeria’s continued corporate
existence is unnecessary as
much as it is harrowing.
The absurdity of attempting to
build a healthy nation or even a
mere mumbo jumbo country of
some sort out of the anomaly
called Nigeria can only be
compared to the vain attempt
of trying to reverse an
irreversible chemical reaction. A
kind of trying to put back
together, with the yolk and
white albumin intact, an egg
that fell to a bare hard rock
surface from a 20, 30 foot
height. That is an insane attempt
and cannot work.
In the plastic industry there are
mainly two kinds of plastics, the
thermosetting and the
thermoplastic plastics. The
difference between these two
groups of plastics is very
fundamental and, like two
worlds apart. In the case of the
first group, once the curing
process of the raisin has been
completed you cannot recycle or
reuse the material, so to say: The
resulting product has undergone
an irreversible chemical process.
This is very unlike the
thermoplastics which can be
remanufactured and recycled
for almost an infinite number of
times. The implication in the
manufacture of the two kinds
of plastics is that in the case of
one you cannot make up for any
product deficiencies once the
manufacturing process has been
completed. Any faulty or bad
product resulting from the
production line can only be
broken down and in most cases
ground up and used as fillers in
other fields of manufacture but
never to be reused to reproduce
any product in the form that the
manufacturer originally set out
to manufacture. While in the
case of the other kind of plastics
the manufacturer has the
privilege of the near infinite
capacity of being able to reuse
the same original material over
and over again.
To enable us understand further
why there is this difference in
the two processes is the fact
that in the case of the
thermosetting plastics they
need very high temperature to
cure such that reheating them in
an attempt to reprocess them
completely decomposes the
different parts of the chemical
makeup so the different
components become impossible
to bind together with one
another in any one piece of a
unified product anymore. Then
the only choice left to the
manufacturer is to break up the
defective product completely. He
will never be able to fix them
together into a whole and
useable unit. So, without
stretching the mind we can say
that such has become the fate
of the Nigerian union as we shall
show further in this discussion.
It can never be put together in
any workable piece....