₦airaland Forum

well, i'm not rich, so i have no interest to worry about.

i think its people with loads of dough in their accounts, who can be bothered.

the maybe fifty kobo equivalent i see every now and then, wont even buy me a stamp.

there are over 100 threads on only one topic, TITHE

they want the money diverted elsewhere, maybe to fund boko haram or their p.orn habit.

utter shamelessness, for peanut pay.

Chartey: Tpia, u see why i asked you your tribe and where you grew up? We are talking about a cultural issue and you're bringing links to oyinbo people's views. Pls just tell me your tribe(nationality even) so I'll know whether this our little argument is one futile endeavour or not.

i think the link is supposed to show its not just an african thing but can also occur in other cultures.

unless you want a situation where everybody in the family remains unmarried in the name of waiting for each other, your stance is very self defeating.

um, this list is long?

personally, i think making a checklist of qualities you want in a spouse, might also be necessary. Just to get a focus, thats all.

however, carry on.

havent we been discussing this stuff since last year?

i seem to remember a thread saying the UK is clamping down on immigration.

or was it two years ago.

but, they should pity people sha, ask the Nigerian govt to improve standards and infrastructure so people wont be afraid to return home.

for those who want to stay in Britain, work something out for them perhaps.

check the US govt website or else ask others how they did theirs.

lady gogo: pele @op. Such is life. You can now start making new friends.

true.

or check this:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snQDA_SV0f4



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88aff3-pRww

little self control might help, before you fall on to a man.

chartey


http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/younger-sister-getting-married-before-older#axzz2hQQ36mWZ


http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2012/08/sister-squabble-when-one-wedding-comes-before-the-other/

RoyPCain



you folks amaze me these days, i thought this section was conservative?

surely you dont watch whats its called.

tbaba1234: He divorced her.

There are no guarantees. Her faith was not strong to begin with. She had left Islam before.

Would you risk raising your children in this way? Only Allah changes hearts.

so why do you feel Allah wasnt involved in her change of heart?

although, like you said, seems her heart wasnt really into Islam to begin with, and she probably felt her situation was as a result of her not being a Christian.

did she also remarry and have kids?

it might have helped if she'd married someone who was a bit flexible religion-wise, seems they both misread each other.

MackDealer: I am a Christian...so I just need some enlightenment here...when we say the Quran instructed us to stay away from usury, is there a context to this? And here is what I mean by this....if a widow comes to me for loan to feed her family vs dangote comes to me for a loan to build another cement factory....should I consider them both the same and just give the money without charging interest?

fees are added before you pay out the loan, this is in lieu of interest. I stand corrected if wrong.

i guess your decision would be do you charge dangote the fees but waive them for the widow.

[quote author=soj-naija]Mallam Lamido Sanusi and many other "muslims" were once staff of FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA..
Folawiyo and many other baba-Adinni's of Nigeria are shareholders of Commercial banks.
Platinum-Habib bank was co-owned by muslim families...[/quote]i've said the op is just being mischievious.

who?

zyzzx: Yes, i ate small and reserved the rest for my own wedding...my pikins go still chop small reserve for their weddings.....

grandparent cake or wetin.

that one na generational cake abi na 100 year cake,

arent you hyping him, or what are you trying to do?

you showed him with a mansion, being feted and having a beautiful wife, not sure what your message is.

Chartey: It's another thing if she's not ready to marry. At least everybody knows she doesn't want to. But if she does and she's just having challenges, then being patient isn't out of order. It's in the interest of the family. Remember the family is bigger than the individuals in it. Besides everybody makes sacrifices for everybody in the family(the beauty of a true African family). If she explains to the fiance and he doesn't understand then he isn't worth marrying. He'll become the sort of husband who'll alienate the wife from her family anyways since he has little regard for the family of his wife. As a man, i have no problem waiting for 2 or 3 more years to marry the woman I'll build a home and spend the rest of my life with.

the woman doesnt remain in her family once she gets married, even though she's still part of her family.

making sacrifices can be from anybody, i dont think its right for the older to ask her sister to remain unhappy and resentful just because she (older sister) isnt ready to marry yet.

if people find themselves in a situation like this, imo the best option is to be happy for the bride and believe God for your own man.

should the older sister just jump on any male in sight in the name of getting married first?

These things are not as simple as you make them appear. Yes, it will assuage the older sister if her younger sibling postpones her wedding out of deference to her. However, how will the younger sister alleviate her own hurt feelings and what is she supposed to feel about the family wahala preventing her from getting married?

its getting really tough,

if enforced that is, but they just might be,

Chartey: You took the words right out of my mouth. It's sad the way people are ready to brush aside our African cultures in the name of modernity due to ignorance. These things were put in place for a reason.
It is true that in life your happiness is the ultimate. But how can you remain happy when your siblings are not happy with you. The right thing to do is to put pressure on your elder sister to get married while you are patient. A little sacrifice and consideration in life never hurt anyone. Marrying before her is a form of disrespect and humiliation which she may never forget even if it seems she has.

its statements like these which make people feel bad about their siblings marrying.

another option (which is locking the barn after the horse has gone), is to space your kids about 10- 15 years between each of them, that way there's little chance of the younger getting married before the older.

if that's not practical, then stop stoking unnecessary ill feeling and try to be more supportive.

sibling rivalry isnt limited to marriage issues or gender btw.


and, imo, someone who will consider it disrespect on the part of the younger sibling, will still fight the sibling for some other reason anyway, with or without marriage. The underlying issue is not the wedding but something else in the family dynamics.

The right thing to do is to put pressure on your elder sister to get married while you are patient

ideally, perhaps.

in reality, wouldnt be so feasible unless the younger sister is extremely patient and her fiance is also understanding.

and what if the older sister isnt ready to marry?

ew

.

if your husband prefers you call him sir, [btw this is one of the things which should have been ironed out pre-marriage], then what exactly is the reason why you prefer not to?

you find it embarassing?

wont it be more embarassing when he jumps on the sir-saying housemaid or groundnut seller who salute him with sirs every time they see him, this is why people should look properly before leaping into marriage.

just my opinion, could be wrong.

although, in nigeria, i dont think most young guys of nowadays would be comfortable with such, so the question is actually rather weird.

if you feel uncomfortable with what you shared, why not just delete it.

personally, imo, if a job will require too much soul searching on my part, i wouldnt take it.

i could be wrong since it might depend on how much i need the renumerance, however, unless i'm sure i can cope with whatever comes with the job, chances are i'd stick with what i think would work for me.

is something wrong with doing that?

whatever rocks anyone's boat, its not my business whatever funky stuff you want to do in your home. As long as no humans or animals are harmed?

if kneeling down or calling yourselves sir and ma is ok with you, wetin concern me?

where is this place?


op kindly add the name of whichever country that is and stop trying to pretend its nigeria, geez.

marriage is expected to follow birth order, in nigeria.

however, things dont always work out that way once the kids are grown and out of the family circle.


sometimes they do, sometimes they dont.

ideally, thats how its supposed to be, no doubt.

he or she mistitled the thread.