₦airaland Forum

Atheist:-D:
You either hit it or you dont hit it. The last thing we want is you coming here to say you could have hit that but had reservations

But to stay on track, hit that... and hit it good. She wants it, you want it... so go for it

Dont dull

Yes I know...I should have hit it, but I didn't : (

I still think if I had tried...things would have ended badly:

1.) She is born again...probably ain't into premarital fun
2.) She was never interested...and it would make things very awkward for the rest of my stay
3.) Her family would find out immediately (we were in the same house)...and kill me

I was very tricky to get her on her own in the house. She was always shadowed by her ma...particularly when I was about! Even so, I wish I had taken her aside and told her how much I liked her. Before I left. Would have been nice for her to know.

moonraker: If truly, the OP isnt of nigerian or african origin, then the responses so far hasnt done any

good in portraying the friendly nature that he (the OP) has come to know. I was brought up under

a doctrine of answering a question with a real answer and not question nor any other unrelated statement


I for one cannot ascertain whether or not he is of Nigerian or african ethnicity based on his writing structure.

Apparently some people on this site can, Amazing!!!!


@ OP


Erm, going to be honest with you. The answer to your question lies within you. We dont have a clue what the girl

in question is like. So we dont know for sure if she is genuine or not. Best thing is follow your heart??

Thank you. Like I have said...I can upload another picture if people realllllly want me to. It is a little sad that I have to go to this much effort to prove who I am when all I wanted was some advice. I guess it is okay for people to be suspicious though.
________________________________________________

The girl in question is Yoruba, first born, christian (born again) and a secretary. She is very outgoing and friendly...very loud! She was the sort of girl who doesn't take any shit from people. She did absolutely everything in the house for her family...cooking, cleaning and washing. She was very kind and thoughtful.

She wasn't amazingly beautiful...and she seemed pretty high maintenance!...someone who would nag a lot!
...despite this I really liked her. I was fascinated by her.

Perhaps she enjoyed the attention I was giving her in the house...without ever liking me in that way.

I am confused. I am a foreigner. Most Nigerians I have met it Nigeria are very religious. Completely against premarital sex. Very traditional and conservative.

Is this just a front? Particularly with the women?

I have heard that some naija girls will have multiple boyfriends...at the same time

and have boyfriends that they sleep with for money.

Is this a widespread attitude among naija girls?

Night Night

Subomi-luv:
Well i think it's best you forget about her. You do not want a person who will give you mixed signals and play mind games with you. So are you looking for a black women or a Nigerian women or was it just a once of thing? What exactly do you want?

I will stay in contact with her. But as a friend. I regret not telling her I liked her at the time...but there is nothing else I can really do now : (

I am looking for someone...not necessarily black or Nigerian. When I went out there...I convinced myself that I wouldn't get involved emotionally with someone because I assumed that most women were after the whiteness, green card or money.

I just ended up getting on with her really well and I think both of us connected...even if it was just as friends.


For now..."I am still hoping"/"still looking"...as you say in Nigeria!

Florena: it
is very impossible 4 a person born and bred in UK 2 speak like dis,
infact if u re wat u claim u were u wouldn't mind her parent, oyinbos
dnt care much abt dat..........and abt d pic, it shows u re black or u
can be an albino

Affin lol

What am I saying that is sooooooo un-oyinbo?

Subomi-luv:
But op you are one hell of a photoshopper if the pic is fake. Anyways it's a bit hard to believe because you can really speak the Naija lingo so that is why i guess people are not believing your story.

Haha! Thank you very much. I actually tried very hard to integrate into Nigerian life as much as possible...it was very hard. I think I was always seen as a foreigner...but there were times where I was treated like one of the family which was really nice.

I have a bit of a grasp of how Nigerian culture works and I know some Yoruba......abi lol : )

Subomi-luv:
Well it depends on the family, some are old school and not so open minded and they may be wary of your intentions towards her. I think it'll be best to find a more "Westernized" girl as it would be easier to understand each other better. Like you said it could be a green card thing.

Yes I can see what you are saying. The family were pretty traditional...although they did like me a lot. They were the ones that joked about marriage...was it a joke? You Nigerians have a very blunt and dry way of saying stuff. I could never tell whether it was jokey sarcasm...or if they wanted to see how I responded.

Like I say. She had said to me that it is not right for her to marry a oyinbo, personally. Other times she was extremely forward and flirtatious...saying stuff like she was going to really miss me when I left...wanting to know if I had been with girl (when I returned home).

I was always confused about what kind of relationship she wanted (friend/boyfriend etc.) ...and still am.

Texas.Cowgirl:
You've gotta be careful on this NL
You dont know how many Yoruba haters we have personifying themselves as "Oyinbos"
Wouldnt surprise me if this same OP bere lati ma bu awon Yoruba later

Ohhhhh okay. I was actually complimenting the Yoruba people, not insulting them. I only really mixed with Yoruba and I think you guys are ace

Having said that, I have also met Igbo's. They are awesome too. I met one girl from Lagos who was really switched on.

Subomi-luv:
They find it difficult that White men can be attracted to Nigerian women

Why is that? (thank you by the way!)

The reason why I didn't "make a move" with the girl is because of her brothers...and father. I got the impression that they would not be happy about it.

Do guys in Nigeria not like the idea of Yoruba girls being with a foreigner then?

LMAO. I do not believe this! You guys still don't believe me! I am sitting here looking at my Ankara and Guinea "native" clothes....I HAVE BEEN TO NIGERIA.

Subomi-luv:
THERE IS A GOD

OH MY

I'M FINISHED

I don't really understand why it was so unbelievable anyway? It has taken me hours just to prove my story. Is it really that surprising that a oyinbo has stayed in Nigeria and found a Nigerian attractive

And yes...everything I have said is true.

BOOM! For all you unbelievers

I think I have done it! Look at my pale white skin

Donxavier: You are ready for this dude true true

Haha! I am not some bumbling, bald white guy who is looking for the first Nigerian who is up for it. I met a girl that I really liked. We had absolutely nothing in common culturally...but I really enjoyed being with her.

The picture is ready to upload. I just keep getting messages when I try. Error!

I have tried and tried...but for some reason, this forum will not let me upload the picture. I keep getting error messages

413 Request Entity Too Large

I have made the image smaller.

Idowuogbo: U dey wait? NEPA don carry light na!

See!...I remember NEPA. I must have been to Nigeria. The light was off more than it was on...and everyone calls electricity "light".

I am trying to post the picture but the upload keeps stopping at 96%

any ideas?

deor03: The @OP is not only black, he's a yoruba Nigerian.

The more he writes ,the more ,he gives himself away. No White dude will spell these words correctly

Oyinbo
Ponmo

Ha Ha! I know how to spell oyinbo because people were shouting it at me everyday! : )

I didn't know how to spell ponmo so I Google-d it...I know what it is (and what it is called though!)
Its cow skin. You guys eat with pounded yam/kassava etc. I ate it a lot...and we have nothing like it in the UK! It defiantly took some getting used to.

Picture coming up

Subomi-luv:
If you are really white. Why dnt you take a snap of your hand holding your username, you do not need to show your face or anything, the arm would speak for itself

I can do that easy if you realllllly want me to. I can even write something on it...so you know it is genuine.

SLIDE waxie: dude, we don hear, okay?
U didn't tell us how u got to knw d people. Seems llike u jes found urself in their house!

And to biliv a lotta Nigerians are intrigued abt whites, think again!

I was working with a charity...all charity workers with this charity are placed with a local family to learn about their culture etc.

Some Nigerians did not care at all about whites.
....BUT I found that MANY shouted "Oyinbo" at me. I could not walk down the street without it happening. They were not being aggressive...just very friendly!

What I am trying to say is that perhaps she was just interested in me because I was white...like a novelty...and that I was mistaking that for romantic interest.

eeewise: with time u will move on,get smeone else and she will b just...."once upon a time".so i say its ok to feel wat u feel but move on.u guys re miles apart

I think you are probably right : ( I really do miss her a lot. We are still in regular contact, but it probably best to keep things how they are. It sucks so much that I will probably never see her again : ( ...even as friends.
...I think I am just "hoping" that it will happen one day...and I should give up that hope really.

I am generalizing...but Yoruba women are amazing. On the outside, and in the heart. I remember thinking that she was beautiful...even first thing in the morning...when she was cleaning out the chicken hut...when she was pounding yam...I am just in awe of her. I will always remember it.

But I will move on...

Sanboy25: Try telling her that you're giving up EVERYTHING that you have in America, including your nationality, to come LIVE in Nigeria with her.
According to her reaction you'll know the truth.

Haha! I have considered it! lol. There are so many things to think about. I am still friends with her and family...if I tell her I like her, it could ruin all of that...and it might make me think badly of the time I spent with them. I can only talk to her on the phone and we are now living completely different lives.

To be honest...I get the feeling she wants a "green card". I remember her telling me about trying to leave Nigeria...and wanting to travel.
...on the other hand...she has encouraged me to come back to Nigeria and find a job nearby. I hadn't called for a week and I noticed on my FB that she had tried to search my name and had accidentally posted it in her "status update"...so she is still thinking about me.

Like I say. At times she has said things that make me think she likes me/interested in a relationship. Other times it has been the opposite. Perhaps I want it...and that is making me think it is possible...when really it is fantasy.

I should have said something to her in Nigeria.

Ahhhh regrets.

Okay. I was hoping for you guys to actually read what I had written and answer me truthfully as I still really like her and if there was any chance at all that she liked me...I would consider doing something about it...literally look jobs in Nigeria.

She was really cool. She was very loud and abrupt. Very dedicated to her religion (Born Again) and she did absolutely everything in the house (cooking and cleaning). She was so kind and basically looked after everyone there...she was just really amazing, and I wish I had told her.

ighoosagie: Odeh, u still use d "N" word in dis present days

I am not black. This is why I am NOT using the "N" word. White guys cant say "N".

...also...do you think I would have gone to Nigeria if I was the sort of person who used the "N" word!...no is the answer...I am not racist.

(I know you guys call it "Du Du!" or "Do Do" in Naija anyways!)

adaobi123: why not ? upload and then remove it !

No sorry. It's not something I do online. I like my privacy.

If you don't believe me, I'm sorry. I was just hoping for some advice.

Idowuogbo: Peng? Yoh famzi... U a British born black niggah.

Naaahhh. I have spent many years in the UK too. I am not black and I have spent time in your country.

I know it sounds very unbelievable, but I am a white guy, I went to Nigeria, met this girl and I really like her but never told her.

critique101: I'm also interested in getting a green card. However, I think it is cool that you learnt some yoruba n enjoyed yourself. How did you learn about nairaland

Thank you (Eshe poopor!!) I was browsing 'Nigeria' and Nairaland came up. I tried to learn as much Yoruba as possible...it was very hard. I really wish I could have understood the language fully, because the girl and family would often chat away in Yoruba...and I really wanted to know what they were saying!...especially when they were talking about me!

adaobi123: upload a pic of yourself with your username, we will believe you then

Haha! I am not going to do that. I really don't want to get into an argument over whether I am white or not. I can see my skin...it looks very white!

Please just imagine that what I am saying is true. Do you think there is a chance she liked me? (and I mean NOT for money/green card etc.) How do Nigerian guys court?

Lol! Okay people. I don't know what I can say to prove it...I often ate garri for snack and ponmo with pounded yam/kassava/semo for dinner.

Anyway all of this did happen. I just wanted to see what peoples thoughts are.

...I am going to have to just let it go I think. I really did like her though.