₦airaland Forum

Gerrard59:
Always a friend. Never the OP, as if the friend doesn't know how to use Google to open Nairaland. Check his previous topic and the last sentence in this thread:



Probably another unemployed Nairalander who has so much time to waste by creating different threads using different monikers or the Mods trying to create "interesting topics".

Another tale that never happened!

Fake thread!

You think so…..well, if you’re a good psychologist, you will know some people create thread and try as much as possible to conceal their identity either by using pseudo names or by not being overtly direct with their stories to help conceal their person.

So as far as the post is applicable to real life situation, give your contribution and move on. If the poster don’t benefit, there’s definitely someone somewhere that same scenario is a reflection of their real world, and will benefit…Cheers

lereinter:
Is the woman a divorcee, widow, unmarried

How long have she known the woman

He needs serious relationship help

She is unmarried.

He was matched with her barely a year…

2buffagain:
Na cheating go sure pass if she is not even his spec

Omo, the cheating go wear agbada join, but those kind of ladies will be very insecure, and always will want to close mark the guy

ednut1:
Not worth it. There are many guys in USA looking for papers too why none of them gree for am You may think say you go get green card and the thing go turn to bondage

I thought as much, especially the fact say the lady is not out of touch with naija realities. She dey come naija occasionally, and know what’s up.

If it she is completely born and bred in abroad, but naija descend, or whittey….no too much shaking

Brandiebird:
Nigerian men will marry old grandmothers because they are white women without asking for out opinions and celebrate their wedding day online! 💅

But because it’s a Nigerian woman, we can not rest! Imagine a crook asking for advice on whether he should use another human being but it’s the innocent woman getting dragged❗️

I don’t think the woman is as innocent as you think. She is not out of touch completely with naija realities. She comes occasionally and knows what’s up. So there’s high probably that she might also want to use him to appease the naija people or family questioning her overdue single life. Afterwards, she might change.

Both the guy and the lady want something from each other….so??

Something that is already visible to the blind, at the 11th hour, Kwankwaso will drop down for Atiku to enhance the northern agenda

Mark my words

thorpido:
Is it just the green card he wants or marriage?
He shouldn't deceive himself,he will eventually seek another woman after settling with this particular one.

It’s a match make…and she was introduced to him. He is just confused considering her not his spec and age factor.

Baronthecelebri:
He should go ahead, they should sign alimony. France president wife is older than him

Why alimony??….he is a student remember

tensazangetsu20:
Anything for my own benefit and advancement if marriage will bring it absolutely no problem. Marrying an American citizen you get green card immediately people that go to Harvard and MIT green card isn't sure for them. They have to jump H1B loops and all.

What about the marriage, love, compatibility, self esteem, perception, self worth…..na naija woman for US ooo. So she knows you settled with her for the paper and she will put some boundaries or people will advise her to. She dey enter naija occasionally, she get naija friends wey dem dey communicate…so no be abroad born wey no know what’s up

If na pure whittey, even me no go mind as far as that mutuality dey between us

Brunosamel:
Nope A man should have 3Fs for contemplating or engaging in amarriage

Fossil ; -|e older
Fortune - Be wealthier
Fitness - Be fitter

I seem to agree, though not always with same exactness

tensazangetsu20:
Canada probably since it's easy to move from Canada to the usa. Australia and Britain no way.

When it comes to marriage, I can’t sacrifice to that length. Except I have a thorough thought over it, and I’m very convinced with my actions, regardless the person nationality.

How many years person go live for this small world sef

tensazangetsu20:
If he doesnt want he should give her to me. I can even marry a 100 year old american lady sef but only american. Cant do that for any other nationality

Can’t do that for Canadian, Australia, British citizen??

Romanoff:
It will end in tears. 15 years age gap, that's his mum.

Omo, I think am too…Told him he is literally sacrificing his fate for his unborn kids. Well, for me I don’t think I will

A friend studying in UK was matched with a Nigerian lady that has been in the United states for a long time. He has been struggling without residency or a job with sponsorship in UK.

He confided in me that the lady they connected him with is not his spec, also her age is the bigger factor discouraging him.

Should he damn the consequences, settle with this lady and build love afterwards or just go on with his life and see what fate have in store for him (remember, that’s giving in certainty for uncertainty)……

My people, meat don land abeg, make una help me put mouth for this matter

1stGenAmerican:
So if she wouldn’t have called his friend, she would’ve never known her husband was dead? Nobody called her to tell her? Did his family attend their wedding? When he first had the accident, why wasn’t his wife (who is his next of kin) notified by the hospital as hospitals are legally obligated to do? Who is paying for the funeral? Why isn’t she attempting to be at the funeral? Will she be reimbursing the person who paid for the burial because as his next of kin, she’s responsible for the burial costs and arrangements. How was his body released to anyone without the permission of his next of kin?
Legally, nothing about this is making sense.

Good questions, but you have to read the original post, and the follow up post and understand the scenario, it was explicitly stated.

Now, he had an accident and was rushed to the hospital, I think I need to ask her how she knew he was in the hospital, but definitely I know the hospital didn’t call her l. Secondly, I don’t think anyone knows his next of kin, that’s is a sensitive topic you don’t want to discuss with someone based abroad coming to marry you. Also, he had a life before he met my friend…so probably one of his child is his next of kin because the child came from another state and met the dad not probably catered for in the house after discharged from hospital. The wife is left in the dark regarding the funeral arrangements, she is just getting bits and pieces from some relatives, who I suppose get some bits of information from the auntie based somewhere abroad (assumption). She’s never been to the states, don’t even know how to go about anything, don’t even know how to connect with the other family in the state, don’t even have the finance for the logistics , let alone attempting to attain the funeral….

So basically, his next of kin is bleak for now

TheGoodAmerican:
How did she contribute? Does she have any receipts as evidence? They were married for 7-months. The properties the man has must have been established before she came along. The man just died and all she cares about are his properties. Clearly, she's a golddigger trying to reap where she didn't sow. I hope his relatives in Nigeria ensures she gets nothing.

Nah, they knew for over three years before the wedding they had. The property in question was bought and renovated during those three years of courtship before the wedding.

She didn’t raise question about the property, I am just soliciting advice in case such circumstances happen

ImperialYoruba:
This story get k-leg.

First and foremost, your friend need an independent source to confirm husband is indeed dead. He could have met another girl in US and hooked, the story death used as coverup.

Did your friend see corpse, death certificate, or any of that? Does she know where he lives, work? Contact his work for independent verification.

She has never been to the states. She should know where he lives and work on paper though.

He passed away, he had no cause to fake it because he cherish her a lot

ObosiUkwalla:
This ur friend, is she per chance called TINA?

Nah…why?

1stGenAmerican:
OP, as a lawyer, asking probing questions and poking holes in testimony is a strong habit so forgive me. But why did your friend have to contact her husband’s US-based friend to find out anything about him when she could’ve just reached out to his family in Nigeria? I don’t understand why she was able to reach out to them about property but couldn’t reach out to them with concern after she stopped hearing from them. Also, why wouldn’t his family in Nigeria contact your friend, who is also in Nigeria, to tell her that her husband was dead?


This is all starting to make less and less sense.

If your friend doesn’t get matters cleared up, pm me his name and what state he lived in and in a few hours, I’ll tell your friend everything she needs to know.

If you read the original post, you will see that he wasn’t really in good terms with most of his relatives. He live alone while in the states. While he was discharged from the hospital, I think he was assigned carers to look after him. Of course carers will do their paid job and leave….one of his sibling, I think was informed, and travelled from another state to come find him left all by himself for some days without food or drink, he was then rushed to the hospital…and passed on after some days

1stGenAmerican:
But you said in your first post that the first wife came and shut down communication. How did she do that without knowing where he lived?


There’s also a small chance that the man isn’t dead, he just wanted to ditch your friend and enlisted his family to lie for him.

By shutting communication, I mean there was no phone of communication via phone call. One of the child that was given my friend some little information while he was in hospital, suddenly stopped communicating. She was left in the dark until he died. Even at present, she has no real details on what next consigning his dead body.

As of if he is dead or alive, sure he is dead.

1stGenAmerican:
Even IF he was really divorced, she isn’t entitled to any of his properties or money such as retirement or life insurance here in the US, especially if he lived in a community property state. The first wife was able to cut off communication which leads me to believe they were either still married or she was still listed as his next of kin. Add in the fact that he had kids who are his legal heirs unless they are adults and he went through the steps to legally disinherit them and things look even more bleak for the friend. And this is coming from me, a US-based lawyer.
OP, which US state did the man live in?

I don’t think she is concerned about the US things the man got, of course it will be futile. She has never been there, so is just shadow chasing if she go for that.

Is the naija property

davidadenrele:
Sisterly,

This is deep, life indeed can be very unfair may we never thought be or imagine be the bad reasons for a good things we hoped for.....Amen.

Your friend need alot support and encouragement the next thing is to strategizes and be very prayeful his late husband has told her the kind of familes he comes from and how terrible they can be so she need clean up her t

1. Let her get a Nigerian US based lawyer that can help her legally on how to fight and claim her late husband will that was written in her name this can not be done in her absence henced there's a need for her to get a lawyer urgently that will help her file for US Visa this should be a matter of urgency else anything can happen US is diffent from Nigeria.

2. No matter how bad her husband family can be there would be atleast someone she can relate with as backup support to help this is a battle she can't fight alone a white pap they say comes from a black pot.

3. She must be willing to share part of what is left in her name with late husband mother or atleast a junior siblings in a legal document way even if they resist in this way there won't be a silent war or mumring between her and late husband family just to have her peace of mind gives what belong to cesar...cesar!! and wnhat belongs to God...God!! a word is enough for a wise.

4. Your Dear friend needs to be more prayeful we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers and ruler of darkness in high places, says the bible the circumstances surrounding the husbands death is mysterious and hence she might be the next target may the good Lord keep your good friend from all known and unknown evil plans of the enemy.

5. She should inform her immediate family of all her movement plans and strategy their support and advices will also help in one way or the other it's well with your friend.

Thank you…..

TheChameleon:
Your so-called friend likes better things.

She should be mourning instead of calculating.

She is not calculating…the said relatives told her they will come for discussion after his burial. So I’m just trying to advise her on what next, obviously…that’s the main issue for their coming

drakeli:
I don’t believe the bold that she contributed money building the house. You said the man was used to send money but had problems with his own family which could be the reason why he decided to include his new wife’s name on the property. A man can put his wife’s name in addition to his on his properties if he believes his own family members are “devils” that won’t mind taking everything away from his wife and children if he dies.

So if he intentionally included his name and his wife’s name, is it logical to ask the wife to forfeit those property on his demise, won’t that contradict law?

baby124:
Let her approach the US embassy for a visa based on proof of marriage and also request a death certificate. Please ask her to get a lawyer. If he has any properties in the US she is entitled to it. They need to first confirm it’s not a fake death because e just sound like the guy wan discharge and. Please get a lawyer, approach the US embassy with your proof of marriage and request a death certificate and Visa to go and bury your husband. The ex-wife has lost that right.

I don’t think she wants to partake in any kind f his US dealing…she has never been there, so no point going there to join issues

yinkeys:
Nigerian legal documents might not hold water in USA

She is not going after anything in US, she has never been there and as such, no claims on anything. The property with the documents are naija based

oldienavie:
This your friend does not care that the man has died, all she has her eyes on are his properties.
Will she die if she moves on, she doesn't have a child yet for him, so why is she so interested in the mans property ?
Better tell her to go and look for work to do and stop fighting over property, if she had a child now, then it would make sense that the child would need to get a part of the mans assets .

This man has lived over 20yrs in US, although he comes to Nigeria Occasionally but never built even a room for himself. According to him whenever he send money for a project, the relative squander and steal it, thinking he has lots of money in the US. That’s the reason he had disagreements with most of his relatives, they are not even in talking terms with some. That’s what he told my friend, his wife.

He only managed to buy a bungalow when she came into his life, and that was partly her contribution as well, though majority of the fund came from him. What makes you think a man will write his name and wife’s name on the property if she has no input?.

WhisperedNoise:
This matter is complicated.
I don't know if the Nigerian marriage will hold up because the man wasn't divorced from his wife in the US before he married another woman.
Bigamy is an offense in the US.

To be honest, I don't think there is any headway for the new wife to get any property. There's also the issue of will.

The new wife's chances are slim in my opinion. Very very slim.

RIP to the dead. May God comfort both families.

The house they bought in naija was in both his name and his newly wedded wife's name.......I don't think she cares about his US properties because she does not even know any.

And also, the first wife and her kids are all based in the US, i dont think the kids have ever been to naija...as such i think the naija property talk will be between my friend and his clans here

God1000:
This is a complex issue, she's truly entitled to some of his property if she was legally married to him.


But she shouldn't get into dirty fight with the first wife and the husband family if things turn ugly

I don't think the first wife will care about anything in naija. She is based in the US and have been separated for quite a long time. In-fact, I don't think she knows where he lives. Probably met both of themselves in the states during his early period. There is no much communication from the first wife, so literally my friend don't even know anything consigning him in the US. He was planning on moving my friend to the US by mid this year after completion of his project here in naija, which my friend supervise. So, it is his siblings and relatives that will come for the discussion here not his US based estrange wife

Hello House,

Please, I need advise on how to console and encourage a friend of mine here in naija that heard the news of the death of her newly wedded husband who returned to the US after the wedding ceremony.

The husband lived in the US for so many years, he had a good woman/wife with two children. I don’t know if they were legally married or he settled with the lady and had kids with her for papers during his early years in the US.

Now, after years of being divorced or separated from the lady, I think a calabar US based woman according to him, he then met my friend at an occasion while he came to naija. He pick interest in her and proposed marriage, after like one or two years of communication over the phone. They got wedded seven months ago, and he flew back to the states. Communication continued via phone, until there was a break in communication, my friend here in naija tried to reach him but to no avail, until she called one of his US friend who went and confirmed that her husband was about entering his car packed on a hilly road, he forgot the handbrake wasn’t activated, and the car rolled with him to a tree…he had some fractures and rushed to the hospital. At a point, he was recuperating, although couldn’t speak to my friend on phone.Due to his extreme condition, I think the first wife came but shut every communication. So literally my friend was left in the dark until she heard that he had passed away.

His burial will be in the states, and his family here told my friend that they will come for discussion after the burial, probably for his properties which was gotten in both his name and wife’s name(my friend). Before his demise, he had told her how terrible most of his clans are, and how she should try to avoid them and keep things secret from them

How do I encourage her at this time and also the impending battle with her late husband’s family