₦airaland Forum

Pls is there light in Ebute Meta? I am heading home now.

The popular saying that "Black is beautiful" is waning in potency. Who would have ever thought a black person would be so envious of the white skin that he/she would engage in the practice of using chemical substances to lighten skin tone or provide an even skin complexion by reducing the melanin concentration in the skin?

A global icon like the late pop music legend Michael Jackson made a statement by trading his beautiful and adorable black colour for a shrinking white skin that exposed him to health hazards. Nowadays, every young African or African-American lady wants to either be white or close to it. They believe it is the best way to be attractive and beautiful. Public figures especially actors, models, On-Air-Personalities (OAPs) and other show showbiz icons have become unofficial ambassadors of bleaching creams. This is blindly followed by their numerous fans that closely monitor them on their social media pages. Instagram makes it worse as the only value it has is showboating.

Dark-skinned models have begun to suffer; dark-skinned actresses are often ignored until they accept the orientation of a skin change/alteration. The dark skin has become an impediment to the beauty of Nigerian music videos.
Remember the rumoured case of Akon and Wizkid rejecting all the dark-skinned models that came for their video shoot in Accra, Ghana, in November 2013. I am using this as a point of reference because I believe there is no smoke without fire. Ghollywood, Ghana movie industry is being ruled by light-skinned actresses like Nadia Buhari, Salma Mumin, Nicki Samonas, Yvonne Nelson, Vicky Zugah, Nana Ama Mcbrown and others due to the belief that they are attractive .It is also believed that clothes look better on them. Another point of concern is that most of the so-called leading actresses in Ghana have been accused of bleaching.

Susan Maxwell, a Yoruba actress and beautician who specializes in selling bleaching products affirmed that 80% of Nigerian men want light-skinned women. She seems to be making a living out of bleaching for people to tell you how well Nigerian women bleach. This light-skin trend has been adopted by the labour sector in Nigeria. Companies now demand for light-skinned ladies to work as receptionists, customer care agents, Personal Assistants, Airline Hostesses, Bankers, Sales and Marketing officers. Job vacancies with such demands paint a picture of prostitution to me. What about the famous female South Sudanese model, Nykhor Paul who is experiencing a turbulent time in her career due to her complexion? Make-up artistes always prepare kits for white models alone which is an embarrassment to her. Falsified skins are paraded with pride. The irony of it all is that they only seem beautiful from a distance, a closer look could be irritating. The beauty of most bleaching folks is only limited to pictures and videos virtually on TV and the internet. Have you ever taken a close look at them without make-ups? What about after waking up in the morning or probably after stress?
This unveils the ugliness behind that fair complexion, the age-long dark sports that are like eye-balls staring at you. A focus on the skin exposes the black patches, skin burns and some protruding green veins etc.

What is the essence of altering your skin colour thereby causing your fingers, toes and other parts of the body to be left out? They retain their black identities and make you look as if you are dressed up in a costume for a horror movie role. I don't intend to insult anybody bleaching consciously or unconsciously because most women will never accept they are bleaching.

In the advent of the unexpected like an accident leading to an opening on the skin, it will be difficult to seal it up by the medical practitioners.

Is having cancer of the skin as a result of bleaching a price to pay for beauty?

Bleaching speaks volume of a lot about African women. Firstly, it shows lack of confidence and contentment in you. Toning your skin means you are simply envious of the light-skinned people whose appearances have been intimidating to you. Hence, the saying "If you can't beat them, you join them"

Secondly, it is very common among promiscuous woman popularly called "Olosho". It is like the registered identity cards of the call-girls you meet in club houses or at busy junctions on the streets. They bleach to make them attractive to prospective customers who are left imaging the unclothedness at the sight of them. This accounts for why some people go into a sexual negotiation with them immediately they stop for them in their cars because they can vividly identify the brand no matter the attire that is covering it.

Thirdly, it makes women smell. I thought I was the only person perceiving this fairly strange odour from bleaching women until Olisa Adibua, Programmes Director of BeatFM 99.9, Lagos confirmed it in an interview.

Another point is that it toning your skin makes you look sick especially at the advanced state. It gives you the looks of a witch (even though most of us only judge witches by what we see in movies). At a very young age you start to look weird with a multi-coloured skin especially when you are facing intense stress or can't financially keep up with the high cost of bleaching cosmetics. A look at one former Governor of Oyo state that came under the banner of the PDP (Name withheld) will help buttress my views.

As the orientation of bleaching spreads across the black race like wildfire razing down the entire forest during summer, have you ever considered the religious implication of the act?
Don't you think it is an indirect way of telling God you are an imperfect project? As for Christians, the bible says in the book of Psalm 139:14 says:

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well"

Did you know bleaching portrays a mentality of slavery? In 1450, during the slave trade era, the light-skinned slaves enjoyed certain special privileges unlike the dark-skinned slaves. The light-skinned slaves were allowed to work closely with their masters, sharing the same roof and food with them amongst other benefits. The white masters felt comfortable with them. This prompted the desires of the dark-skinned slaves to tone their skins in order to attract special entitlements from their slave masters.

The era of slavery is dead and gone. Why are Black people still living in the past?
I leave you with these questions. Let them guide your decisions as you prepare for the future consequences. I am the Village Town Crier.

Join us on http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/07/bleaching-as-orientation-of-slaves-in.html for more articles.

As the positive wind of globalization blows across the world, traces of negativity are also been left behind. Homosexuality which entails a person's attraction to people of one's own sex i.e. gay and lesbianism joins the bizarre list of the ills in the world. This has yielded several supportive, critical and indifferent reactions ranging from one country to the other.

On the 13th of January, 2014, the former Nigerian President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan signed a bill into law prohibiting homosexuality in Nigeria and a 14-year jail term attached as a penalty to defaulters. There was a massive celebration among Nigerians who felt the African values and culture have been protected from foreign invasion once more. Homosexuality is being regarded as foreign initiative which is totally unacceptable in Nigeria. It is so difficult to trace the history of homosexuality in Africa but the practice has already been imbibed in Nigeria and it is so rampant especially among the youths. Only a few Nigerians openly accept their homosexual orientations in order not to appear weird or possessed. Everyone is heavily scared of being castigated, isolated like an Ebola patient or even subjected to a deliverance session in the church or any other religious gatherings. Gay people in Nigeria are like rape victims, they hardly come out to narrate their ordeals to avoid stigma. They rather live in silence all their lives suppressing their pains. I call them prisoners in a free world. The homosexuality topic is one kind of discussion I publicly avoid because of the level of insincerity among Nigerians. The truth in Nigeria is like a crime. A lot of Nigerians lie to themselves about who they are and then live in that world of lies. It will shock you to see someone vehemently criticizing homosexuality publicly when he is guilty of the act in the dark corners of his room.

United States of America's legalization of same-sex marriage on the 26th of June, 2015 was greeted with massive criticisms and mockery in Africa with President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe leading the cause. Kudos to him, I like people that take stands and defend their grounds without fear or favour. Nigerian youths took to the social media to create memes to show their stands against homosexuality. We are not different from the Americans that openly celebrated the freedom given to homosexuals, we are not better than them in any way. They have only decided to leave the self-prison they have been over time.

Nigerians have successfully followed the issue of homosexuality blindly because of our hatred for research and the high level of mediocrity among others. Most of us are victims of hasty generalizations. I have a couple of questions for ardent critics of homosexuality;

Do you know some of these homosexuals are victims of biology? How does homosexuality really affect you personally? Do you know lesbianism is almost a norm among Nigerian ladies? Do you know how neck-deep Nigerian top men are into homosexuality? Have you ever gone to the club houses in Nigeria to see the evils of homosexuality practiced under the dark fancy lights?

Visit http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/07/the-level-of-hypocrisy-of-nigerians.html for the concluding part of the article.

The Village Town Crier is sighted around the Oyingbo market late at night, staring at the busy traders, customers, passers-by, buses and their drivers. Lagos is like a market place where people purchase goods and services. Some buyers could be so lucky while luck may run against others. Some goods are beautiful outwardly while on the inside they are spoilt. Some customers without any level of consciousness about the authenticity of products enter the market and buy the cheap products that they will forever remain a massive testimony to them. On the other hand, some willing to pay the biggest price for the commodity are overcharged with the worst commodity being sold to them.
These are the deep thoughts running through my heart as the Village Town Crier. As the vehicle sirens blow around me, the breeze of the night cool my nerves, as every worker return home while some set out for their night shifts, I asked myself, what are we really struggling for? Even if we get it, will we ever be satisfied? When you don't have it there is a problem. When you do, there is a problem.


This is like a close shave. Moving forward seems dangerous and uncertain, you can't turn back, you can't even afford to be stagnant. It is from this angle I picture life in Lagos and life in general.

Lagos is a place where you realize things are deeper than their outlook. Things are original on the outside and so fake on the inside. Judging companies by the quality of their websites is the easiest way to make a grave mistake. Checking up the activities of the company on the internet could be very misleading especially when some victimized workers are not willing to share any information out of who they are.

A lot of people get deceived by the diplomatic statement and goals companies tend to portray on paper as against their belief system in reality. In Lagos you will see a person standing for an entire company of numerous departments while the company is fictitious. His house is his office. He is the office CEO, Managing Director, Human Resource Personnel, Accountant, Security and logistics officer. He is the office furniture and equipment. Yet when you relate with this person online, he will be like ''We are working on it'' "We will get back to you" Always watch out for the word "WE" This is for the purpose of giving you the impression that he has a progressive team.

Nowadays, there is this trend of local companies trying to give an impression of multinational affiliations like the multinational companies. This is to boost the reputation of the company because Nigerians have the staunch believe that anything foreign is of a good quality while the local ones are inferior. A lot of young applicants opt for them and let go of better opportunities that may initial not be attractive. As soon as they get inside, they see the concealed ugliness. It hurts to see people that venture into businesses without no practical knowledge of it. No matter your theoretical level of brilliance, you will still realize that some textbook principles may not agree with the realities of the society you have found yourself. Inexperienced Managing Directors now employ workers to do the impossible. They kill the excitement of work in employees. Picture what the famous Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi will look like as a defender. This may virtually seem impossible but their failure in those positions doesn't make them bad footballers. Their past records speak for them. Working with experienced managers who can study their workers and assign duties in their field to them for a perfect execution is highly necessary. It gives you dignity as a worker compared to when you are assigned tasks randomly like you are not needed. I wish I could be more explicit with this piece but I don't want to be guilty of an act of defamation.

I was once excited about a role, only for me and the entire members of staff to locked out at 8:00 am in the morning for being late while the official time was slated for 8:30am. I looked at my life and was like why me and this kind of bosses? My boss was sitting gallantly in the office with his security officer alone. The drama was intensified when the Human Resource Personnel who is one of the high ranking members of the firm walked into to join us. She was left outside with her juniors. The day was scheduled as a major interview day for some applicants. The applicants turned out en masse only to be with her outside. She tried to conceal the truth about the scenario but any smart applicant with investigative instincts would be fully aware there is more to the scene.

Lagos is expensive, you leave your house for a serious reason. Aimless outings are highly discouraged by the transport costs and stress except if the reason why you are leaving far surpasses the cost. The excitement of working that day died in me. I walked pass the ever stagnant gutters of Lagos slowly with the foul smells mocking my mood.

Then I remembered the values I read about this same company on their website before I signed up, it was a case of a very ugly monster wearing the ladies' foundation make-up to conceal her looks and then hiding comfortably under the fancy lights of fair darkness. Most men will likely judge the monster by its stature as concealed in tight and body-revealing attire. Under a halogen light, the victim would see clearly but it maybe too late as the harm could have been done.

Everybody works in utmost fear as employers believe every worker can always be replaced as long as the financial resources are available. The dignity of labour has been destroyed. Some people toil tearfully till the end of the month with a fear of not being paid or losing the job. The bosses are painted as perfect individuals that are never wrong while the employees take the blames from mistakes made from wrong decisions. On the other hand, the bosses proudly take the praises of the achievements of the employees. This is a system I doubt may never change.

I wish I could reveal more despicable incidences on this episode.

Whenever I share my stories with friends, they tell me ''Welcome to Lagos!'' Is this really Lagos? Well if this is part of the pains of making it here then one has got no choice than to endure.
- See more other episodes at: http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/06/diary-of-ibadan-hustler-in-lagos_29.html#.dpuf

According to the Holy Bible, whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing. Marriage is a thing of joy. Marriage is an institution of elevation. The success of a man isn't complete without marriage. This is a strong belief which forms part of the values and belief system of the African society.
Nigerian celebrities today are acting in aberration to these Africa's foundational values. In developed societies like United States of America and the United Kingdom, a lot of youths and teenagers freely have sex in a reckless manner thereby causing an influx of unwanted babies. Liverpool's Raheem Sterling is a vivid example. He reportedly scored an off-field hatrick at the age of 17, impregnating three different ladies with a close period. What about American rapper, Lil wayne with different baby mamas?


The syndrome has spread to Nigeria. Nigeria is a country where followership in the areas of odd things are very contagious. If the weird decision of one man called Suleiman Hashimu to trek from Lagos to Abuja for President Muhammadu Buhari could be imitated by over 17 other Nigerians, then there is a problem.
Several male Nigerian celebrities might not have condemned marriage verbally or in writing but in act, they have showed that marriage is like a prison they are not ready to be locked in. Everyone of them of them wants to enjoy the unlimited pleasure of promiscuity. They love the night life, sleeping with random girls in the club, being in controversial positions with ladies in music videos and using demeaning lyrics to qualify them.

It took the Nigerian music legend Innocent Tuface Idibia almost 8 children from several women to settle down with his current wife called Annie Idibia. Marriage is not a taboo,marriage shouldn't be treated with apathy. Marriage should be joyfully embraced as long as you have the financial resources to run it as well as the readiness to be a responsible man. Men in the developed countries might be scared of legalizing their union with their lovers due to the huge alimony the woman is entitled to from the man's entire wealth. Many gold-digging women have used this avenue of marriage to rip wealthy men of their sweat.
Since the principles are alimony in Nigeria are not that strict compared with how it is practiced abroad, what can we trace the apathy of Nigerian celebrities to marriage to?

Below are some Nigerian celebrities who have children out of wedlock and still retain their single status:

Davido: This is the latest father, who is buzzing over his first child but nursing zero plans for marriage.

Wizkid: He initially denied impregnating a lady but today he has claimed ownership of the child while he freely sleeps other hot ladies.

Flavour: The artiste has a soft spot for beauty queens. One has a baby for him while the other is heavily pregnant.

Others are Iceprince, Obafemi Martins, Ik Ogbonna, Kayswitch, Olamide, Timaya, Seun Kuti, MayD, 9ice, TerryG, Oritsefemi, Reminisce, BBA Tayo Faniran etc.

These celebrities have a long list of fans looking up to them and they unconsciously imbibe the images they portray. I hope the ''baby mama syndrome'' doesn't become as contagious as the era of political trekking.

- See more at: http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/06/baby-mama-syndrome-among-nigerian.html#sthash.M5Rm7rij.dpuf

yeye people.....make we see una own article na. People enjoy transferring the aggression of their frustrating lives to others.

10 Classes of People You Will Find In A Lagos Bus

I must first of all start by saying a lot of unprecedented praises are always been heaped on Lagos state for reasons I find it hard to understand. While looking at Lagos from the outside as a local Ibadan boy, I was full of admiration of the commercial capital of Nigeria. I loved the way Lagos was represented in the movies and mostly songs by music artistes as they all sang about where they grew up. I admired the way the addresses of several companies in Nigeria carried the Lagos tag as they were mostly headquarted in Lagos state. As a student of the Obafemi Awolowo University then, a lot of course mates and room mates told me mostly 'lies' about Lagos. Yes, I purposely called them lies because events were highly exaggerated. Now, I am in Lagos now struggling to adapt to the rigour of activities here called ''the hustle''. Don't get me wrong, Lagos is a great place with an enabling ground to horn your skills, talent and develop into greatness. On this piece, the Village Town Crier will be picking on the amazing state of affairs in the Lagos buses. I have experienced several bizarre occurrences which I have decided to create humour out of. As usual, you see the buses looking so tattered, old, unkempt, overused and adjusted seats (to create more space for increased profitability), faded black and yellow paint, stressed vehicles engines constantly smoking, dangerous-looking bus drivers and their conventionally lousy conductors who will never buy the needed megaphone to practice their trade.


Sorry if my introduction seems too long. I can perceive my reader's eagerness to see the keypoints of this article. Below are classes of people you will likely find in a Lagos bus:

(1) The Preachers:
These set of people have a way of testing the faith of Lagosians. They are mostly christians. As you board the Lagos bus that never comes to a halt completely, struggling to find a seat at a very tiny spot in between people, stepping on toes and apologizing simultaneously as you sweat from the short struggle, you hear one voice from behind proclaiming the ''Good News'' of Jesus Christ. As the high peach of the voice is maintained, you find it annoying and irritating, one part of you prompts you to cut the preaching short by cautioning the preacher but out of the fear of appearing to revolt against God, you stay calm and patient with the hope that it ends soonest. Its almost unbearable when the person is sitting beside you with the loud voice protruding through your ears.

(2) The hot-tempered class:
This class is mostly dominated by the Igbos and Yorubas. They are highly controversial. You can never please them. They frown their faces terribly as soon as they sight the black and yellow bus. The bus conductor who is like an attendant in the bus (for the sake of foreign readers) understands the nature of such people. He immediately takes a defensive position. He screams at the top of his voice saying; "Enter with your change oh" No Change oh" "I nor want wahala" These set of people are ready to flare up at the slightest provocation. They moody look gives you the impression that you are in danger. Stepping on their feet in the bus or over-leaning on them due to the lack of adequate space in the vehicle could attract a death penalty. I am not exaggerating. Some of them purposely attempt to beat down the transport fare which they know its impossible just for the purpose of raising tension in the bus. They pay the bus fare with utmost bitterness and demand for their change immediately like they anticipate a foul-play from the conductor. Even if their change remains an amount as low as N5, they are ever ready to shake up the bus and abandon their destination to recover what rightfully belongs to them.

(3) Marketers:
I hereby tender my apology to say that I see the marketers as very weird people. They are mostly of two categories, some sell varieties of items ranging from Sausage rolls to La casera or Viju milk drinks, recharge cards and other consumables OUTSIDE the bus which is highly acceptable in Nigeria and Africa, even though I have never been outside my country lol. The second category have no destination, they will board the vehicle with you. They are mostly rickety and hungry-looking old men with the appearance of a secret herbalist capable of causing maximum collateral damage spiritually. They will not take a seat in order to gain the advantage of addressing the passengers. They mostly sell drugs that are reportedly capable of 'curing' ailments world-class scientists are almost giving up on like Hepatitis, Sickle cell anaemia, Hiv, cancer and the likes. The amazing point is that, their appearances give you the impression that they may have a combination of all the ailments they claim to cure. As you settle down in the stuffy Lagos bus with every passenger giving you this kind of hostile attitude due to the frustrations and stress of the day, you will shockingly hear the cracked voice of one old man wearing a T-shirt that is big enough to be a bed sheet, shouting on top of his voice to advertise a drug or any other commodity. This worsens the already poor state of the bus. A times I feel so strange that this kind of weird occurrence paints the scene of a movie shoot to me.

(4) The sneaky class:
This class of people contains the enemies of the conductors. They look as peaceful as a dove. They are not easily noticeable. They enter quietly with the purpose of also leaving the bus quietly without due payment. The bus conductor stretches his neck at the risk of a possible dislocation to fish them out. Most of them are experts in this field. They will keep a straight face while others are paying for their transportfares. At the bus stop, they exploit the opportunity of the rush out of the bus to innocently sneak out with the alighting passengers. It hurts that so matured men who are old enough to govern a country are in this act too.

(5) The Sleeping class:
The act of sleeping in a commercial vehicle used to be so strange to me but when I came to Lagos, I realized it was almost normal. Sleeping in a Lagos bus is almost as unsafe as a soldier sleeping at a war front during an attack. Anything could happen, the moment of sleep comes swiftly likes its diabolical. This is due to the fact that some people leave their houses as early as 4am in the morning to reach their working place at 8am due to the bad traffic. This is what happens when you are living in a place like Akute and Ikorodu which is virtually a part of Ogun state, and you are working on the Island. The same set of people return home as late as 11pm in the evening or later than that. You can't cheat on nature, you will certainly sleep off willingly or unwillingly. Surprisingly, these set of people are so accustomed to sleeping in the bus that the bus has become their bedrooms, two minutes after entering the vehicle, they are already off to the dreamland. Shockingly, I also see some policemen sleeping in their patrol vehicles. That is totally unacceptable. God is our greatest security operative in Nigeria anyway.


(6) The Fat Alberts:
These people are like cheats. They are like the politicians while slim people are the masses. Mostly plus-sized women with gigantic backsides that could be compared to a contruction truck. Some chubby women will innocently occupy the space of three people in a bus leaving the others being almost squeezed out of the bus. This causes regular fracas in Lagos buses day in day out to the extent that only the affected people complain. The unaffected passengers tend to stay out of the argument because the next bus could entangle them in the same predicament. Its a rotational syndrome. Lagos passengers could be so gross, you will hear the backside being directly attacked verbally. On one occasion, one lousy Igbo man who felt cheated by a fat passenger looked at her 'truck' and said ''Una where u see this ur nyarsh from?, una biko the thing too big, na die oh!" The woman looked at him and angrily said ''Na ur mama you dey follow talk'' As usual, a movie was shot from that scene lol.

(7) The Pick-Pockets:
These are so unwanted like virus-infected files on your computer. These people could make a highly esteemed person in the class of the Governor of a state embarrass himself publicly. These set of people enter solely to steal from targeted passengers. Your phones and wallets are commonly their targets. A friend of mine was rocking a song on his newly bought Iphone 6 with the aid of an earpiece. The phone was safely placed in his pocket and he nodded his head simultaneously to the beat of the songs. He boarded the bus with the normal conventional hot rush common with large crowds. He noticed the song stopped playing, he ignored it and tried settling first in the vehicle. Few minutes later, he tried to change the song, shockingly the phone had already developed wings and probably flown to an unknown tree to relax. He starred at his earpiece with tears welled in his eyes. Behold, it was like a temporary moment of madness for him.

(9) The market women:
When you see the women, you will know the hustle is real in Lagos. With due respect, they are not they kind of people you will want to sit with one the day you are wearing your best cloth to work or probably a very clean white shirt. They are very dirty people due to the nature of their jobs. They have this natural fragrance that is unique to them. Personally, I feel it is the greatest scent ever existed. The smell is a combination of crayfish, dried fish, fresh fish, dried meat, vegetables, dirty clothes, onions, armpit smell, mouth odour and sweat from stress. Imagine the combination of all these in one. This is what you directly face when you sit around them. The most annoying part is that they will never keep quiet while in the bus. They always interact with their fellow market women in strange languages sounding like tongues spoken in churches. They come with heavy loads their litter the already deplorable bus. Sometimes you unluckily have one of those filthy loads hanging around you but you politely stay quiet out of fear of offending a suspected witch. The bus conductors have a terrible way of treating them which they will never take personal.

(9) The Phone call class:
This is a minor class anyway. We all answer phone calls in public vehicles especially when a high priority is attached to some callers. In the Lag bus, some people are so lousy with calls. They pick important calls shouting as if they are making an important Public Service Announcement. They go as far as revealing dirty family secrets. Some go as weird as reigning curses through the phone, they express their emotions freely. This act forces some bus passengers to console them in most occasions. I find it uncomfortable anyway. Some ladies pick calls and loudly flirt on phone too. Love is a beautiful thing, we all want love, we are happy that you are happy but I feel your relationship life is private and should be kept private. I was shocked when one businessman angrily told his caller he was heading to the bank to withdraw N500,000. That was an easy way of selling yourself to a potential robber who may not be nursing intention of robbery at that time. Later on, we Nigerians will blame the police force.

The posh class:
This class is the ideal class. It is filled with well behaved and good looking individuals. They are always looking neat, wearing nice dresses which maybe out-rightly cheap, they use good phones, smell nice and talk nice with fake accents. A times they almost miss their bus stops due to their inability to shout like a thug that they are alighting especially when the conductor fails to announce. They stay quiet in the bus with innocent looks, they endure the discomfort because it is temporary, they ignore the bus conversations and hold back their laughs no matter how funny because they believe they may be in the bus but they are not of the bus.

Well, every reader would actually be wondering the class of the writer. As a Village Town Crier, I may not be rich as I am still struggling to settle down in Lagos but I strongly feel I belong to this class. *Laughs*

I hope I forced down that smile out of your strong looks? Thanks for joining me again on this one. Feel free to share the posts with your friends so that the network can grow. This ministry should move to its permanent site this year loooool.

*Hops into another Lagos bus* Orileeeeeeeee!
Oyingboooooooooo!! Hold your shangie ooh, na God I dey use beg u oh!!!
- See more at: http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/06/10-classes-of-people-you-will-find-in.html#sthash.dPCEAkqd.dpuf

I must first of all start by saying a lot of unprecedented praises are always been heaped on Lagos state for reasons I find it hard to understand. While looking at Lagos from the outside as a local Ibadan boy, I was full of admiration of the commercial capital of Nigeria. I loved the way Lagos was represented in the movies and mostly songs by music artistes as they all sang about where they grew up. I admired the way the addresses of several companies in Nigeria carried the Lagos tag as they were mostly headquarted in Lagos state. As a student of the Obafemi Awolowo University then, a lot of course mates and room mates told me mostly 'lies' about Lagos. Yes, I purposely called them lies because events were highly exaggerated. Now, I am in Lagos now struggling to adapt to the rigour of activities here called ''the hustle''. Don't get me wrong, Lagos is a great place with an enabling ground to horn your skills, talent and develop into greatness. On this piece, the Village Town Crier will be picking on the amazing state of affairs in the Lagos buses. I have experienced several bizarre occurrences which I have decided to create humour out of. As usual, you see the buses looking so tattered, old, unkempt, overused and adjusted seats (to create more space for increased profitability), faded black and yellow paint, stressed vehicles engines constantly smoking, dangerous-looking bus drivers and their conventionally lousy conductors who will never buy the needed megaphone to practice their trade.


Sorry if my introduction seems too long. I can perceive my reader's eagerness to see the keypoints of this article. Below are classes of people you will likely find in a Lagos bus:

(1) The Preachers:
These set of people have a way of testing the faith of Lagosians. They are mostly christians. As you board the Lagos bus that never comes to a halt completely, struggling to find a seat at a very tiny spot in between people, stepping on toes and apologizing simultaneously as you sweat from the short struggle, you hear one voice from behind proclaiming the ''Good News'' of Jesus Christ. As the high peach of the voice is maintained, you find it annoying and irritating, one part of you prompts you to cut the preaching short by cautioning the preacher but out of the fear of appearing to revolt against God, you stay calm and patient with the hope that it ends soonest. Its almost unbearable when the person is sitting beside you with the loud voice protruding through your ears.

(2) The hot-tempered class:
This class is mostly dominated by the Igbos and Yorubas. They are highly controversial. You can never please them. They frown their faces terribly as soon as they sight the black and yellow bus. The bus conductor who is like an attendant in the bus (for the sake of foreign readers) understands the nature of such people. He immediately takes a defensive position. He screams at the top of his voice saying; "Enter with your change oh" No Change oh" "I nor want wahala" These set of people are ready to flare up at the slightest provocation. They moody look gives you the impression that you are in danger. Stepping on their feet in the bus or over-leaning on them due to the lack of adequate space in the vehicle could attract a death penalty. I am not exaggerating. Some of them purposely attempt to beat down the transport fare which they know its impossible just for the purpose of raising tension in the bus. They pay the bus fare with utmost bitterness and demand for their change immediately like they anticipate a foul-play from the conductor. Even if their change remains an amount as low as N5, they are ever ready to shake up the bus and abandon their destination to recover what rightfully belongs to them.

(3) Marketers:
I hereby tender my apology to say that I see the marketers as very weird people. They are mostly of two categories, some sell varieties of items ranging from Sausage rolls to La casera or Viju milk drinks, recharge cards and other consumables OUTSIDE the bus which is highly acceptable in Nigeria and Africa, even though I have never been outside my country lol. The second category have no destination, they will board the vehicle with you. They are mostly rickety and hungry-looking old men with the appearance of a secret herbalist capable of causing maximum collateral damage spiritually. They will not take a seat in order to gain the advantage of addressing the passengers. They mostly sell drugs that are reportedly capable of 'curing' ailments world-class scientists are almost giving up on like Hepatitis, Sickle cell anaemia, Hiv, cancer and the likes. The amazing point is that, their appearances give you the impression that they may have a combination of all the ailments they claim to cure. As you settle down in the stuffy Lagos bus with every passenger giving you this kind of hostile attitude due to the frustrations and stress of the day, you will shockingly hear the cracked voice of one old man wearing a T-shirt that is big enough to be a bed sheet, shouting on top of his voice to advertise a drug or any other commodity. This worsens the already poor state of the bus. A times I feel so strange that this kind of weird occurrence paints the scene of a movie shoot to me.

(4) The sneaky class:
This class of people contains the enemies of the conductors. They look as peaceful as a dove. They are not easily noticeable. They enter quietly with the purpose of also leaving the bus quietly without due payment. The bus conductor stretches his neck at the risk of a possible dislocation to fish them out. Most of them are experts in this field. They will keep a straight face while others are paying for their transportfares. At the bus stop, they exploit the opportunity of the rush out of the bus to innocently sneak out with the alighting passengers. It hurts that so matured men who are old enough to govern a country are in this act too.

(5) The Sleeping class:
The act of sleeping in a commercial vehicle used to be so strange to me but when I came to Lagos, I realized it was almost normal. Sleeping in a Lagos bus is almost as unsafe as a soldier sleeping at a war front during an attack. Anything could happen, the moment of sleep comes swiftly likes its diabolical. This is due to the fact that some people leave their houses as early as 4am in the morning to reach their working place at 8am due to the bad traffic. This is what happens when you are living in a place like Akute and Ikorodu which is virtually a part of Ogun state, and you are working on the Island. The same set of people return home as late as 11pm in the evening or later than that. You can't cheat on nature, you will certainly sleep off willingly or unwillingly. Surprisingly, these set of people are so accustomed to sleeping in the bus that the bus has become their bedrooms, two minutes after entering the vehicle, they are already off to the dreamland. Shockingly, I also see some policemen sleeping in their patrol vehicles. That is totally unacceptable. God is our greatest security operative in Nigeria anyway.


(6) The Fat Alberts:
These people are like cheats. They are like the politicians while slim people are the masses. Mostly plus-sized women with gigantic backsides that could be compared to a contruction truck. Some chubby women will innocently occupy the space of three people in a bus leaving the others being almost squeezed out of the bus. This causes regular fracas in Lagos buses day in day out to the extent that only the affected people complain. The unaffected passengers tend to stay out of the argument because the next bus could entangle them in the same predicament. Its a rotational syndrome. Lagos passengers could be so gross, you will hear the backside being directly attacked verbally. On one occasion, one lousy Igbo man who felt cheated by a fat passenger looked at her 'truck' and said ''Una where u see this ur nyarsh from?, una biko the thing too big, na die oh!" The woman looked at him and angrily said ''Na ur mama you dey follow talk'' As usual, a movie was shot from that scene lol.

(7) The Pick-Pockets:
These are so unwanted like virus-infected files on your computer. These people could make a highly esteemed person in the class of the Governor of a state embarrass himself publicly. These set of people enter solely to steal from targeted passengers. Your phones and wallets are commonly their targets. A friend of mine was rocking a song on his newly bought Iphone 6 with the aid of an earpiece. The phone was safely placed in his pocket and he nodded his head simultaneously to the beat of the songs. He boarded the bus with the normal conventional hot rush common with large crowds. He noticed the song stopped playing, he ignored it and tried settling first in the vehicle. Few minutes later, he tried to change the song, shockingly the phone had already developed wings and probably flown to an unknown tree to relax. He starred at his earpiece with tears welled in his eyes. Behold, it was like a temporary moment of madness for him.

(9) The market women:
When you see the women, you will know the hustle is real in Lagos. With due respect, they are not they kind of people you will want to sit with one the day you are wearing your best cloth to work or probably a very clean white shirt. They are very dirty people due to the nature of their jobs. They have this natural fragrance that is unique to them. Personally, I feel it is the greatest scent ever existed. The smell is a combination of crayfish, dried fish, fresh fish, dried meat, vegetables, dirty clothes, onions, armpit smell, mouth odour and sweat from stress. Imagine the combination of all these in one. This is what you directly face when you sit around them. The most annoying part is that they will never keep quiet while in the bus. They always interact with their fellow market women in strange languages sounding like tongues spoken in churches. They come with heavy loads their litter the already deplorable bus. Sometimes you unluckily have one of those filthy loads hanging around you but you politely stay quiet out of fear of offending a suspected witch. The bus conductors have a terrible way of treating them which they will never take personal.

(9) The Phone call class:
This is a minor class anyway. We all answer phone calls in public vehicles especially when a high priority is attached to some callers. In the Lag bus, some people are so lousy with calls. They pick important calls shouting as if they are making an important Public Service Announcement. They go as far as revealing dirty family secrets. Some go as weird as reigning curses through the phone, they express their emotions freely. This act forces some bus passengers to console them in most occasions. I find it uncomfortable anyway. Some ladies pick calls and loudly flirt on phone too. Love is a beautiful thing, we all want love, we are happy that you are happy but I feel your relationship life is private and should be kept private. I was shocked when one businessman angrily told his caller he was heading to the bank to withdraw N500,000. That was an easy way of selling yourself to a potential robber who may not be nursing intention of robbery at that time. Later on, we Nigerians will blame the police force.

The posh class:
This class is the ideal class. It is filled with well behaved and good looking individuals. They are always looking neat, wearing nice dresses which maybe out-rightly cheap, they use good phones, smell nice and talk nice with fake accents. A times they almost miss their bus stops due to their inability to shout like a thug that they are alighting especially when the conductor fails to announce. They stay quiet in the bus with innocent looks, they endure the discomfort because it is temporary, they ignore the bus conversations and hold back their laughs no matter how funny because they believe they may be in the bus but they are not of the bus.

Well, every reader would actually be wondering the class of the writer. As a Village Town Crier, I may not be rich as I am still struggling to settle down in Lagos but I strongly feel I belong to this class. *Laughs*

I hope I forced down that smile out of your strong looks? Thanks for joining me again on this one. Feel free to share the posts with your friends so that the network can grow. This ministry should move to its permanent site this year loooool.

*Hops into another Lagos bus* Orileeeeeeeee!
Oyingboooooooooo!! Hold your shangie ooh, na God I dey use beg u oh!!!
- See more at: http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/06/10-classes-of-people-you-will-find-in.html#sthash.dPCEAkqd.dpuf

How do you define SUCCESS? Success is very relative. It means different things to different people. Success has been popularly tagged with financial achievements. This is to an extent right but regarding success alone as money is a misconception. Success could be religious, that is making heaven, success could also be marital e.g. marrying that Mr. Right of your dreams, having great children and bringing them up to be agents of development in the country.

Success could also mean touching the lives of the masses as a political leader and giving them a sense of belonging. The famous American rapper, William Leonard Roberts II better known by his stage name Rick Ross said “Measuring success is by the number of people you have blessed”.


At Niiyo.com, success is when the desired goods and services are efficiently delivered to our customers within the specified time frame. A confirmation is that BRIGHT SMILE on your face as well as your undying desire to shop more because we love you, we exist for you and our entire world is built around you.

So what is your perception of success? Kindly drop your comments.


Niiyo.com; Nigeria’s Most Exclusive Online Shopping Platform #ComingSoon
Click here to like our Facebook page; https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall

Niiyo.com, an e-commerce Limited based in Dubai and New York, USA, opening soon in Lagos will be operating a customer-centered approach in Nigeria and as an indication of this cause, we will be giving a first-hand information about job opportunities at our firm on this page. This is in a bid to give back to our fans for your participation and support for the task ahead.
There is a massive recruitment for LOGISTICS PERSONNEL, INTERNS, FINANCE EXECUTIVES, CATEGORY MANAGERS, CLEANERS, DISPATCH RIDERS.

Dispatch riders should be well conversant with the routes in Lagos. And the cleaners should certainly reside in Lagos.
Remuneration is highly attractive.

Kindly send your resume and cover letter to Stella@niiyo.com. Thanks. Keep inviting your friends to this page. We have more to unveil to put that awesome smile on your faces right on this page. Thanks

Niiyo.com; Nigeria's Most Exclusive Shopping Mall ‪#‎ComingSoon‬

Like the company's Facebook page through this link https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall for a special consideration.

MASSIVE RECRUITMENT AT NIIYO.COM

A multinational company with its roots in New York, USA and Dubai just stormed Lagos, Nigeria. They are into e-commerce and set to displace Konga and Jumia. They are in need to expert hands to champion their takeover course. Visit Niiyo.com to submit your CVs or follow their page on Facebook through https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall to get regular updates on available positions. Thanks.

MASSIVE RECRUITMENT AT NIIYO.COM

A multinational company with its roots in New York, USA and Dubai just stormed Lagos, Nigeria. They are into e-commerce and set to displace Konga and Jumia. They are in need to expert hands to champion their takeover course. Visit Niiyo.com to submit your CVs or follow their page on Facebook through https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall to get regular updates on available positions. Thanks.

True Life Story
An Ibadan young man got a very good job in Lagos and decided to redeem his failed promises to his lover of 6 years. Two days to Valentine's Day, he scheduled a delivery of some exorbitant gifts to his lover which was due for delivery on February 14 after emptying his bank account.
In the spirit of springing surprises, he switched off his phones to raise the anxiety of his lover who was ignorant of the placed order. His lover was confused and disturbed throughout Valentine's Day. The gifts were NEVER delivered until 2 days after Val when she had already made-out with her long-term admirer out of frustration due to a misconception of her lover's silence.
The gifts were delivered after she left a parting message for her lover. She got the gifts in tears and making a U-turn on her decision created a vacuum nobody could ever fill. A strong relationship was destroyed by the inefficiency of the Online Shopping platform.
Here is the moral lesson; an agreement is like a bond that needs to be honoured whether it is written or verbally done. A breach in agreement is a betrayal of trust. This isn't good for business, friendship or any relationship no matter how trivial.
Niiyo.com; Nigeria's Most Exclusive Online Shopping Mall is an initiative of change coming out to give back to humanity after a research on e-commerce in Nigeria.
Join the train of change. We look like you, we speak your language. We exist for you.

Follow us on Facebook through this link; https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall
‪#‎ComingSoon‬!!!

GOOD NEWS! Forget about FAAN, Niiyo E-commerce Company just stormed Lagos from Dubai and New York. They are massively recruiting people and paying bigger than Jumia and Konga. Follow this link https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall?fref=ts to connect with them. Information is what separates the rich from the poor in Nigeria. Don't be left out.

GOOD NEWS! Forget about FAAN, Niiyo E-commerce Company just stormed Lagos from Dubai and New York. They are massively recruiting people and paying bigger than Jumia and Konga. Follow this link https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall?fref=ts to connect with them. Information is what separates the rich from the poor in Nigeria. Don't be left out.

Niiyo E-commerce Limited has been trending on the social media platforms in Nigeria of late. There has been series of debates about our capabilities to make a positive impression in the e-commerce industry with less than 21 days to commence full business operations in Nigeria. We have taken notes of the questions and comments made by people through our effective feedback process. Below are some of the top reasons why Niiyo.com, Nigeria's Most Exclusive Online Shopping Mall should be your most rational choice:

1). We provide adequate technology and services to enable consumers, merchants and other participants to conduct commerce on our platforms.

2). Niiyo.com is more than a business platform. It is a people-centred initiative to reduce unemployment rate around the world.

3). Niiyo.com provides a better business environment for the benefit of both sellers and buyers.

4). Niiyo.com has heavy investments in e-commerce research programmes for the purpose of developing new services to help businesses grows and discover new opportunities. This is to encourage innovations to serve our clients better.

5). Niiyo.com is easily accessible on personal computers and all manners of internet-enabled mobile devices to ensure convenience in shopping from wherever you are.

6). We speak your local language. The strong desire of every buyer is maximum utility over desired goods and services. At Niiyo.com, we will rather incur a financial loss than lose a SINGLE customer no matter the level of patronage.

7). Niiyo.com boasts of a huge wealth of experience in e-commerce with a strong impression in U.S.A and Dubai.

. Niiyo.com has hugely invested in the recruiting and training of super-talented and energetic young workers to champion its business course in Nigeria.

9). Wide coverage in Nigeria to ensure quick delivery STRICTLY within 24 to 48hrs of transaction regardless of your location.

10). Niiyo.com deals with commodities of international standards due to its affiliations across Nigerian borders at highly subsidized rates for the good of all classes of people in the society.

The list is virtually endless but we will like to put a halt here. Thanks for your attention thus far. We exist for the betterment of human lives. Feel free to share with your friends and drop comments. Inquiries will be duly attended to. Thanks

Keep Niiyo.com trending, Nigeria's Most Exclusive Online Platform. #ComingSoon!
Join us on Facebook through this link:
https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall

Niiyo.com is more than an Online Shopping Mall. It is a full representation of customer interests. With the company's strong roots in New York, U.S.A and Abou Dhabi, Dubai, we have decided to extend our outreach to Nigeria which is the largest economy in Africa as well as the most populous state. Niiyo E-Commerce Limited assures you of maximum utility over every Naira you spend on purchased commodities.

Change is in the air they say. If you don't key into that change, you will certainly be left behind.
Our goal is to see that bright smile of satisfaction on your face after the desired goods are delivered to you. Others deliver goods to your door steps; we do the extra by delivering them right into your hands within 24 to 48hrs.

Why sit back in your house and nurse pains over the supply of faulty goods?

Why order for goods and wait for several days to get a delivery?

What about issues of goods being lost in transit?

What about problems of poor customer care facilities? You send e-mails and never get a response. You place stringent calls and never get an attention.

Niiyo is Nigeria's Exclusive Online Shopping mall hitting the country like a storm. We are big on innovations. Pay cheaper prices for better deals; enjoy free shipping facilities, easy payment methods, easy accessibility of the website on mobile devices, buyer protection facilities, massive discount on goods purchased and a host of attractive offers.

Niiyo.com is the new trend in e-commerce. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Coming soon!

You can like our Facebook page by clicking this link: https://www.facebook.com/niiyomall?ref=br_rs and stand a chance of winning big prizes. Thanks.
[b][/b]

http://nigeriana.org/139418.html EXPOSED! The woes of FAAN and IMMIGRATION recruitment in Nigeria. Where are we heading to?

http://villagetowncrier..com/2015/05/woes-of-immigration-and-faan.html I SAW THIS ONLINE AND DECIDED TO SHARE.

Dear pals, I hereby write to you guys to report the nefarious scam activities of Mr Saint Livingstone Ekanem who has been posing as a movie director and scamming
aspiring actors by extorting
two thousand naira each for
the acquisition of identity
cards and registration.I am a
victim too.he is just a
scammer who shoots no
movies.I ve a receipt and his
company form and they are
all lies.
Stlivingstoneekanem@yahoo.com
is his email addy on
facebook.his contacts are
07037072173 and
08168077429,bb pin:221728FC.his office
address is nos 154 Awolowo
way ikeja.Lagos.Revolution
films,at the 2nd floor.pls he
needs to be stopped.a lot of
pple have been hurt.pls RBC.save a friend.