₦airaland Forum

In the primitive age, unclothedness was the norm. Some societies covered their bodies with leaves. When enlightenment and westernisation reached Africa, many people began to cover themselves more modestly. But ironically, nudity seems to be gradually returning as the norm again. This trend is particularly noticeable among women. It is almost as if an outfit is incomplete unless it reveals some skin. With cleavage-baring outfits, short skirts, crop tops, sleeveless dresses and bikinis, a part of the body is constantly on display. Sadly, it appears this trend may only get worse.

The latest fashion trend, leggings worn by women, beggars belief. They are often so tight that the flesh of the person wearing them appears compressed. Every part of the woman's body becomes exaggerated, pronounced and highly visible. The shape of the buttocks is clearly outlined, and some designs even create a deep division between both cheeks. The area between the legs is often so clearly marked that it leaves very little to the imagination. The thighs are not left out either. In many cases, the clothing seems designed to give a vivid idea of what the wearer’s body looks like without clothes.

Since men are often moved by what they see, the mind of the observer can easily become distracted. Thoughts and desires may be stirred, sometimes against one’s will. Some men who know they stand no chance may even resort to inappropriate behaviour or harassment out of frustration. In some cases, the fabric is so thin that it can even appear transparent. Stare too long, and you may find yourself almost hypnotised.

Women often argue that leggings are comfortable, which explains their popularity. However, their impact on observers, particularly men, is not always positive. These days, some women undergo procedures such as the Brazilian Butt Lift to enhance their figures and then highlight the results with brightly coloured leggings. When such a person walks down the street, it is difficult for many men not to notice them, whether intentionally or not.

A quick look at social media also reveals how common this trend has become. Many posts by young women feature them wearing leggings, displaying their figures to attract attention, followers, and engagement.

Personally, I sometimes wish women would dress more modestly, perhaps even wearing hijabs. I say this because I take life and my spiritual journey seriously, and I prefer not to be constantly distracted by visual temptations. I do not want to lust after what does not belong to me. For that reason, I truly look forward to the day when the leggings trend fades away, just like many other fashion trends that have come and gone.

Daniel Bwala, before politics, was an honourable and admirable man. He was a respected lawyer. I remember when he did political commentaries on Channels TV in 2017. I used to admire his composure and appreciate his views and demeanour.

All of a sudden, Bwala seemed to want more from life. He entered politics, and his political analysis started to go south. I can’t blame him for demanding more from life. However, the moment he became partisan, his views and opinions became watered down. I stopped listening.

He did a fantastic job campaigning for Vice President Atiku Abubakar to become president. He went hard on President Bola Ahmed Tinubu. Little did he know he was only digging his own grave. No insult intended, but I strongly believe greed motivated Bwala to work for Tinubu after previously becoming his adversary.

When Tinubu got Bwala on his side, it might have seemed like a blessing, but in reality, it was a calculated humiliation. Imagine being the image-maker for a man you once castigated on every media platform. Nobody will take you seriously. But in Nigeria, nobody cares about integrity as long as you are successful. In a sane society, serious people would ask questions and expect convincing answers.

To the best of my knowledge, Bwala is nothing but a liability to Tinubu. When it was announced that he would be featured on the Head to Head show on Al Jazeera, I knew there was a serious problem ahead. There was no way Bwala could easily survive an encounter with Mehdi Hasan, who is known for putting unscrupulous politicians under intense scrutiny. Hasan is a journalist among journalists. He talks fast, thinks fast, and reads widely.

When Hasan reached out to Bwala to appear on his show, Bwala should probably have declined. The show was simply not suited for him. Bwala appears more comfortable in a media environment characterised by sycophancy and brown envelopes.

Many of Tinubu’s achievements are seen as mediocrity by the Global North. If Tinubu were performing as well as Bwala and Reno Omokri want us to believe, emigration to Western countries would drop significantly. In fact, several Nigerians in the diaspora would start returning home. The headlines would change, and the West would get the message.

But the reality is the other way round. The UK government is considering extending the citizenship qualification period from five years to between ten and fifteen years, yet most Nigerians still do not want to return home. As challenging as India might be, some Indians have been moving back in significant numbers. Nigerians, however, remain largely unfazed.

During a Sunday service, my pastor referred to Nigeria as “Egypt,” and I felt bad hearing that. There is truly no place like home. But you can hardly blame him.

I don’t believe Bwala did badly during the interview. He simply did his best and was exposed. A seat on the Head to Head show was perhaps too big for him at this stage. The odds were also against him. He has a highly questionable and controversial political history; his principal, Tinubu, is like a rotten fish that is difficult to sell; and Hasan operates on an entirely different level.

Many of those criticising Bwala’s performance had never heard of Hasan until the interview went viral. Hasan is like a ferocious lion, and Bwala was like a wounded antelope before him — easy prey.

I also hear that Bwala is waiting for a part two of the Head to Head interview. Frankly, nobody wants to watch that. It might even cause him more damage. For now, Bwala should probably stick to local media and rebuild his confidence. He should focus on appearances on the National Television Authority (NTA) and other Tinubu-supporting podcasts. That could serve as a warm-up exercise after his difficult outing on the international stage.

Let’s be honest: Bwala ended up doing more harm than good to Tinubu’s reputation internationally.

Traveling abroad is a beautiful experience when done the right way. The exposure is lovely and exciting. The culture shock is an eye-opener. It gives us the chance to learn, unlearn, and re-learn. It gives credence to the saying that learning is a lifelong process. That being said, living abroad isn't for everybody when compared with visiting abroad. If you can afford it, it is enjoyable and pleasurable. Those few days, weeks, or months could educate your mind more than a school.

Living abroad is an entirely different reality. Some people never fit in. Most times, fitting in depends on the phase or status you have achieved in life. If you have a high-paying job, relocating to start all over might not be good for you. If it’s a transfer from one good job to another, then it’s a blessing.

Additionally, if you own a thriving business, you are better off growing it in Nigeria. One of the ways to create wealth is through ownership. Business can be unpredictable in Nigeria, both positively and negatively. With the right connection and contract, an entrepreneur can sleep as a peasant and wake up on a throne with a gold crown.

In recent times, two of my friends in Nigeria who are doing well, to the best of my knowledge, believe their future lies abroad. These are comfortable men with promising businesses in Nigeria. Some of these moves are driven by women—people who can't zoom in on those glossy social media pictures of Nigerians abroad and see what is behind them. I took my time to ask them some strategic questions, and there was radio silence. This is because most people who relocate don't have a strong conviction that their decision is the right one.

The UK, especially, is an upgrade of Nigeria in terms of infrastructural facilities. In 2021, I met a former top bank official who relocated with his family. The man was generally sad. From his presentation, it was clear his wife engineered the move. He worked in a warehouse for a while before moving into healthcare. They gave him a bit of respect, but when he experienced verbal and physical assault by staff or patients, it hit him differently. He couldn't believe his eyes. He later had a stint as a care worker, organizing the personal care of elderly people. Note that care is just a fancy term for wiping bums. Let me add that I am not oblivious to the fact that people grow from blue-collar or transitional jobs to high-paying white-collar jobs. Testimonies abound.

People like this believe they are investing in the future of their children. This is largely true, but only time will tell. I have seen children of immigrants who have missed their way and ended up badly in social vices.

Apart from social media, some clerics also fuel the exodus from Nigeria. During an online service, a prophet declared that some people would be granted visas. The livestream erupted. "Amen!" "I receive it!" serenaded the entire space. I was shocked. In this age of radical nationalism, Africa might be barking up the wrong tree. The current way to gain popularity in Europe and America is to speak against migration. Rupert Lowe of the Reform Party UK is a good example. Nigel Farage is another one. These men are good students of President Donald Trump's school of thought.

Relocating abroad is just like the heavenly race. It is a personal decision. There is no guarantee it will work for you. Individual circumstances need to be critically considered.

I will give special consideration to people who have been kidnapped, escaped kidnapping, or are at risk of being kidnapped. If kidnappers have sent you a warning letter, like the residents of Kwara State, your emergency exit from Nigeria might be justified.

Obi Cubana (Obinna Iyiegbu) and Cubana Chief Priest (Pascal Chibuike Ikechukwu) have been in the news recently, attracting intense public scrutiny. The criticism directed at them has been particularly harsh. Many commentators on social media appear to have unanimously concluded that they are traitors. This is a reaction largely rooted in the high esteem in which they are held and the unrealistic expectations people place on public figures.

A social media influencer, Isaac Fayose, exemplifies this tendency through the fallacy of hasty generalisation and unwarranted assumptions, using them as case studies. He claims that Igbos are easily bought and largely “for sale,” arguing that Obi Cubana, Chief Priest, and their associates could have used their influence to secure clemency for Nnamdi Kanu, who is currently imprisoned in Sokoto State. Surprisingly, many people of Igbo extraction appear to agree with him, and the backlash against this narrative has been unexpectedly mild.

While everyone is entitled to their opinions, public figures inevitably attract scrutiny. Their actions and inactions, are always dissected. This is the downside of fame.

The real issue, however, lies deeper. Nigerians tend to place excessive expectations on certain individuals. We do this with celebrities, political figures, and even religious leaders. Many assume these figures possess moral authority or extraordinary courage, forgetting that they are, first and foremost, human beings. Like most people, they operate by the instinct of self-preservation. Altruism is learned; survival is innate. When stakes are high, people often revert to their default setting: self-interest.

Obi Cubana and Cubana Chief Priest are businessmen with unclear sources of wealth. It is therefore reasonable to assume that they approach life primarily from a business perspective. Their decisions are likely driven less by public interest and more by personal risk calculation. They seek fame, relevance, and proximity to power. While Obi Cubana maintains a more refined and warm public persona, the Chief Priest adopts a louder, more flamboyant style. His approach to fame is unapologetically brash — from public alignments with celebrities to political commentary and recurring social controversies. This is a personality trait, not a crime. Social media simply amplifies such differences, forcing everyone into the same public space regardless of personal preference.

A closer look at Nigeria’s influencer culture reveals a troubling pattern. Many influencers possess little intellectual substance and offer limited value to their audiences. Their platforms often revolve around clout, hype, and future commercial exploitation. Followers elevate them to god-like status, only to feel betrayed when inevitable self-serving decisions are made. In truth, most influencers are conducting strategic risk assessments, choosing paths that maximise reward and minimise exposure.

Political realism further explains this behaviour. Nigeria’s political environment is harsh, unforgiving, and deeply entrenched. Meaningful national transformation remains unlikely in the foreseeable future. What exists instead are narrow windows of opportunity for personal advancement. Those who recognise this reality position themselves strategically. The City Boys understand this. So does Reno Omokri. This was why he shamefully made a U-turn and followed President Bola Tinubu.

Much of the public advocacy for national development often functions as performative activism, designed to mobilise emotions while masking private interests.

Given the political landscape, challenging the current administration carries enormous risks. Criticising President Bola Tinubu openly could invite intense scrutiny from state institutions, particularly anti-graft agencies like the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC and the Department of State Security, DSS. For businessmen whose wealth invites curiosity, silence becomes a survival strategy. Those who speak out frequently face intimidation, legal battles, or prolonged harassment. Omoyele Sowore’s endless court appearances, Nasir El-Rufai’s political uncertainty, and Abubakar Malami’s legal troubles illustrate the price of political opposition. Not everyone possesses the threshold for such hardship and self-preservation often prevails. If Chief Priest had the pain threshold, he wouldn’t be that sizeable in the first place.

Democracy demands that we respect personal political choices, whether we agree with them or not. At the ballot box, Obi Cubana and Chief Priest wield no more power than any ordinary citizen. The influence we attribute to them may be exaggerated, magnified by social media illusions rather than real political impact.

Furthermore, the heavily publicised City Boy Movement appears more symbolic than substantive. A seasoned political strategist like Tinubu is unlikely to rely on such theatrics. Electoral victories are secured through institutional control, particularly of bodies like Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC, not influencer culture. The City Boys, at best, generate content, engagement, and public distraction. No substance, no message, all noise like the ghetto songs.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. It is a decision that can either make or break you. Therefore, it is important to think carefully before choosing your life partner. You need to look in the right places, and as long as you know where to look, you will face fewer problems in the future. Investigation and due diligence are key. This process is simple, affordable, and can be done by anyone without professional skills or expertise.

Simply check her social media accounts and observe what she does online. Since monetisation programmes began on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, many young women have started displaying extreme behaviour online without restraint, as long as it brings financial gain. The competition for attention is intense — from discussing real or fabricated sexual experiences and fantasies to performing seductive dances. Online feuds with fictional rivals and shocking falsehoods have become common. Some individuals even sell sexual content to potential partners.

By closely examining the nature of her posts and her interactions in the comment section, you can gain insight into what you may face in the long term. If you happen to gain access to her private messages, that is an added advantage.

A notable example is Queen Nadia of Zimbabwe, who amassed over 2.6 million Facebook followers and over three billion views within two months by posting explicit videos. Many people flocked to her page as though she were offering salvation. Her account was eventually taken down.

If your partner has no social media presence or remains inactive, you may need to discover her true character through other means. Do the work now or face the consequences later in marriage. Remember, prevention is better than cure.

The Nigerian marriage institution is patriarchal in nature. It is a male-dominated system. The man is tagged as the head of the family, while the woman is the backbone. The backbone supports the head, which leads. When former President Muhammadu Buhari was asked about his wife’s involvement in politics, he infamously said she belonged in the “kitchen and the other room (bedroom).” This statement exemplified the misogynistic nature of Nigerian society.

A man in Nigeria is a king, and his family is his empire. Most times, he is accorded great respect if he has the financial means. Sometimes, he cheats on his wife, and she feels helpless. In some cases, she may be physically abused. Since the man mainly takes care of the family’s finances, with the woman contributing little or nothing, it becomes difficult for her to leave. It becomes even harder when children are involved, and their welfare must be considered.

Nigerian society also frowns on divorce. A woman might lose everything if it happens. There is little legal framework to protect her and her children. Returning to her father’s house is seen as shameful. On religious grounds, Christianity forbids divorce. Additionally, divorced women are accorded less respect. Some unscrupulous men see divorced women as desperate or undesirable, labeling them as “second-hand” or “fairly used.” Their chances of remarrying become low, and people become overly judgmental when single mothers are presented as brides.

Considering all these factors, many women stay in marriages and smile like they are doing toothpaste advertisements. They pray for change, listen to relationship advisers, and hope for the best.

When you take a woman in this position to the UK, the situation changes. The labour market is more open to women, and sometimes they even have better opportunities than their husbands. Western marriage systems are seen as partnerships where equality is the norm. The system views women as vulnerable and offers them protection. If a man becomes violent, she can call the police and have him removed. There is a legal framework to compel child support payments. A man can lose his home through legal processes. Women can also access immigration and welfare benefits after divorce. Even then, society rarely judges them negatively; instead, they are often seen as strong women who stood up to oppression. Divorce is normal in this part of the world. In 2023, there were 102,678 divorces granted in England and Wales — about 100,000 marriages ending each year.

This reality motivates women to demand equal power and order in marriage. Some even push further.

Most times, African men still pay most household bills but have little say in home affairs. The king of yesterday loses his authority and power. He is easily challenged in his own palace. Frustration sets in, and he becomes toxic. Life in the UK can be boring and lonely. There is often no one to talk to, as everyone is too busy. Work can be competitive and stressful. The cold weather discourages social life. The man runs on empty emotionally, and his home — which should recharge him — becomes another battleground. His mental health suffers. To avoid doing something he may regret, he walks away from the marriage.

The UK did not break these marriages; it gave women power and leverage, and they exercised them. The system simply exposed fragile arrangements. Any man humble and adaptable enough to accept these new realities can still save his marriage.

I believe that in the next 10 years or more, social media addiction or excessive usage could be listed among mental illnesses, just like gambling was. Most antics on social media today are about rage-bait — people want to attract the most attention from their communities and the public at large. The fact that social media platforms now pay users who generate massive traffic has made things worse. Everybody is now a content creator. Even some of our grandparents are picking up cameras to dance and post for views. The gratification involved encourages the madness we see today. If money is coming in, shamelessness feels justified.

Four people need to take a back seat on social media for a while: Seun Kuti, Kemi Olunloyo, Doris Ogala, and Daddy Freeze. These individuals are influential people, but you can tell they are doing too much. Particularly, Nollywood actress Doris Ogala and Kemi Olunloyo seem to need help. When I see their content, I feel for their family members. It may be entertaining to watch a mentally challenged woman dance in a market if she is not your family member.

Seun Kuti has been talking too much on social media in the name of activism. He ruthlessly comes for everybody in a brash manner. His words are like arrows, and they are sometimes justified. But like most constant talkers, he often goes overboard out of desperation to beat his previous post views. People want to set records and dominate the media space. Seun needlessly referenced the General Overseer of the RCCG, Pastor E.A. Adeboye, and the video went viral. He was applauded as a fearless warrior unafraid of confrontation.

Seun, 43, has also been going after Wizkid FC — a faceless group of fans supporting the popular singer Wizkid. A group that could easily be ignored, but Seun relished the sparring sessions on social media. Indirectly, he was creating content and keeping his name in circulation. That is the aim of most celebrities who leak lewd content to trend online and later deny it. Seun was rubbishing Wizkid, and he knew it. He went too far when he made a video claiming Wizkid didn’t care about Wizkid FC, adding that if Wizkid truly cared, he would have come to their rescue. He even said he would fight dirty if someone who mattered to him was being ridiculed. Meanwhile, Wizkid watched from a distance, probably with long wraps of Indian hemp in both hands.

Then one day, Wizkid decided enough was enough. He came for Seun directly. He hit below the belt by calling him a beggar who wanted a gift from him, like the one he got from Burna Boy. He insulted his wife, calling her 'uguly' and ultimately said he was bigger than Seun’s father, Fela Anikulapo Kuti. I believe Wizkid didn’t truly mean that. He tattooed Fela’s face on his forearm and has always idolised the widely acknowledged founder of Afrobeats. But he needed to hurt Seun, and it worked. The usually shirtless Seun screamed across social media.

Social media users immediately missed the point. They focused on who was greater between Fela and Wizkid. It was no longer about the beef. If Seun had shown maturity, his father’s name would not have been dragged into it. Wizkid’s younger fans know little about Fela. They don’t care about history — the present is what matters to them, and that is where Wizkid lives. The argument will never end. Only older audiences defended Fela meaningfully and factually; the rest were just making noise.

Seun is not Fela’s only son. Femi Kuti is also there — an honourable man who conducts himself well and speaks brilliantly on national issues. If Seun had ignored a faceless group online, mutual respect between him and Wizkid would have been preserved. Seun’s social media activism is even more interesting when you consider that he once slapped a policeman in Lagos and escaped punishment. If he had done that abroad, he would have faced serious consequences behind bars. That is non-negotiable.

I hope Seun learns from this and thinks twice before posting on social media. Nowadays, madness is free — but some people cure madness with madness. You don’t always have to learn the hard way.

The new year celebrations customarily come with all manner of theatrics. Most are meaningless, yet we follow them anyway without asking questions or subjecting them to critical evaluation. These include New Year’s resolutions, presidential speeches, and New Year prophecies. The latter is the most controversial and arguably the most followed.
Year in and year out, many of these prophecies, which are supposed to be messages from God, fail to materialise. With due respect to the personalities involved, they often amount to open-ended rhetoric which is neither here nor there. Some of these clerics resemble public affairs analysts who examine past and present events and then extrapolate future outcomes.

The purveyors of these prophecies have been challenged repeatedly over the years, yet they persist. This trend has resurfaced in the past 96 hours. While the highly respected General Overseer of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Pastor E. A. Adeboye, predicted improved economic conditions in Nigeria, specifically reduced hunger and the return of Nigerians in the diaspora. Father Ejike Mbaka, founder of Adoration Ministries in Enugu, prophesied the exact opposite, warning that conditions would worsen. Other clerics followed suit.

This contradiction has divided public opinion over who, if anyone, is telling the truth. As usual, none has provided evidence that God actually spoke to them, no voice recordings, no written revelations, no multimedia proof. The public is expected to accept these claims by faith alone. Yet God Himself frowns at confusion. As stated in 1 Corinthians 14:33: “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”

Interestingly, one of the major figures in the prophecy ministry, Primate Elijah Ayodele of the INRI Evangelical Spiritual Church, appeared hesitant to test the waters. He waited until 2 January 2026 before releasing his prophecies. This hesitation is unusual, especially for a controversial religious leader who has endured a turbulent year marked by negative publicity.

Earlier, Nigeria’s Minister of Power, Bayo Adelabu, reportedly petitioned the Department of State Services (DSS), alleging that Ayodele demanded ₦150 million for spiritual backing to support Adelabu’s gubernatorial ambition in Oyo State. According to the petition, Ayodele also requested 24 APC flags and 1,000 saxophones or trumpets for prayers. The least expensive Nigerian-grade instruments were reportedly valued at ₦50 million, while imported grade-one instruments from China were priced at ₦130 million. Adelabu declined, citing the prohibitive cost. Soon after, Ayodele allegedly warned that the minister would fail in his political ambitions.

Primate Ayodele also made predictions about the Super Eagles and their winger, Ademola Lookman, which failed almost immediately, triggering intense backlash on social media. His public image appears bruised, and he may still be nursing the wounds.

To be clear, belief in spirituality is not the issue. Many spiritual experiences are subjective and difficult to explain empirically. However, a significant number of these prophecies appear to be human constructions aimed at attracting attention and securing public validation. At its core, this is a struggle for power and influence. It is also a trap for the vulnerable people seeking explanations for personal hardship and life challenges. Much like a performing artist releasing an album to dominate market share, prophecy becomes a competitive spectacle.

The generational failures of successive African governments have created fertile ground for this vulnerability. Many prayer requests made by citizens concern issues that should fall squarely within the responsibilities of government. In an environment where social amenities function properly, hospitals meet expected standards, unemployment is low, and social safety nets protect the poor, church congregations might dwindle. Prosperity preaching would lose its appeal. This partly explains why a devout Nigerian Christian who attends church regularly at home may choose to work paid Sunday shifts in the UK instead.

Research shows that religion becomes more influential in the face of uncertainty. Numerous sociological and psychological studies demonstrate that religious belief intensifies during periods of hardship, a concept often described as existential security theory. Where life is unpredictable due to poverty, conflict, or weak welfare systems, religious participation tends to increase.

The controversial Ghanaian content creator, “Prophet” Ebo Noah, recently exposed the extent of vulnerability within Black communities through her end-of-the-world hoax. All it takes is the propagation of false messages; potential believers are always available. After all, a South African pastor, Lesego Daniel, once compelled his congregants to eat grass and drink petrol as a religious rite in 2014. Coming home, are you not shocked that the controversial Prophet Odumeje has church members?

There is a direct link between poverty and prostitution among women. Research conducted in the UK reveals that the number of prostitutes increases as levels of hardship escalate. Recent reports from the UK (2024–2025) confirm a rise in “survival sex” due to the cost-of-living crisis. Research submitted to the UK Parliament indicated that roughly 74% of female sex workers cited poverty as their primary motivation. In Nigeria, the National Labour Congress (NLC) reported in late 2025 that the country is facing its most severe survival crisis in history, which historically correlates with a rise in the informal economy, including transactional sex.

For men, sex is about the venue; for women, it is about what comes out of it. A Hot man would have sex and consider the consequences later. For a woman, however, she seeks justification for her actions. Poverty has eaten deeply into the moral fabric of Nigeria, thereby creating a myriad of challenges. Virtually the biggest developments in Nigeria bear the hallmarks of poverty. If the Nollywood star Regina Daniels were rich, Ned Nwoko would have had zero chance of marrying her at such a tender age of 18 or less. If actor Doris Ogala were financially comfortable, as she claimed, Pastor Chris Okafor would not have had his way so seamlessly. Pastor Chris would not have shared her with her husband like affordable student accommodation. Yes, he is handsome and tall, but there are many broke men with those same features who engage in “self-help” in their bathrooms. Money made the difference. The truth must be told.

What about the ex-chorister of Pastor Chris who allegedly birthed his child? Poverty was an important determinant. I am sure that each time Ebere screamed, “Yes, Papa, ride on, Papa,” in church, the congregants did not understand that the feeling ran deeper than the flowery pulpit messages. The proliferation of churches, insecurity crises, political corruption, and indiscriminate “billing” on social media all have roots in poverty. The conflicting “New Year prophecies”—one of the greatest con jobs in Nigeria’s history—have economic connotations. Poverty is a huge catalyst.

Most of the abroad returnees who participate in the annual “Detty December” in Nigeria are as quiet as cats outside the shores of the country. This is because the lower levels of poverty abroad make it harder for them to operate. However, these same men become viciously empowered the moment they set foot in Nigeria. They cause “wetness” wherever they go, without any sign of rainfall or humidity. Each time a randy Nigerian man visited the country from the UK, there was always side talk of him turning a lady over like a pot of hot amala. And guess what? The price is always affordable. It is a common trend. Once you desire it, you are almost certain to get it in abundance.

If the ‘Ibale’ culture of virginity-keeping before marriage, as practised by the Yorubas, were to return today, only 1% of women would get married. This is because many young ladies have been pounded more than Gaza, Palestine, since puberty.

I recently heard the story of a young man who slept with two beautiful women for less than £150. It was a dream come true for him. He had an appointment with one of them, and when they met, he noticed a more beautiful friend of hers. He did not hide his feelings and openly showed interest. The “business-oriented” friend charged him ₦100,000 for a “therapeutic session.” The battleground was opened, and both parties entered a bloodless war. As one friend moaned in enjoyment, the other could not resist. She walked into the room, undressed, and joined the contest. The man paid them ₦100,000 each and spent another ₦50,000 feeding them after the daunting task. It was unbelievable.

The Tinubu administration has exposed young women to harsh economic realities, leaving them with no option but to use their natural endowments to augment their sources of income. The administration’s 2025 policies—such as subsidy removal and high inflation—have led to what experts describe as “survival sex” becoming a primary income source for some families. A 2025 study on Nigerian family resilience found that poverty often forces a “re-evaluation” of morals. Families may overlook or even implicitly encourage transactional sex if it is the only way to provide food and education for siblings.

At face value, transactional sex seems harmless. It appears to be a win-win situation: the woman’s palm is greased while the man is relieved of natural tension. However, acts like this devalue the institution of marriage. They fuel the objectification and commodification of women. Men become discouraged from marriage and instead choose to have children and move on. Research has shown that children raised without strong family values often end up as societal misfits. Studies further indicate that children in households where sex is traded for survival face higher risks of dysfunctional family dynamics, including exposure to substance use or early sexualisation, which can disrupt the development of healthy relationship values. In the long run, this becomes a menace to the Nigerian state.

In 2015, I wrote an article in which I described the ruling party, All Progressives Congress, as the 'same old wine in a new bottle'. In 2021, I also penned down an Independence Day opinion editorial in which I likened Nigeria to a young, beautiful, but highly vulnerable lady who has been taken advantage of by crafty men. Fast forward to 2023, and I predicted that the Tinubu administration would look good on paper but would be hellish in reality. I asserted that Tinubu's strength was not in governance but politics. Bear in mind that I am not blessed with the gift of divination, at least to the best of my knowledge. It's just common sense. The best way to predict the future is by undertaking a vivid analysis of the past. It's 2025 already, and the politicians are regrouping. Their primary goal is to exploit that beautiful lady named 'Nigeria' again. The strategy is simple - rebrand, wear an empathic mask, pretend like you care and over-promise. By the time you know it, her legs will fling open again, and it's goodnight, Irene!

The failures of the Tinubu administration are not new; we all expected it. Nigeria is a highly complicated political terrain. Some of Tinubu's initiatives, like the Fiscal Restructuring, Support for Businesses, Infrastructure Development, Student Loan Scheme, Exchange Rate Unification and others, seem well-intentioned. Every government in Nigeria, except the military regimes, look good on paper. The execution of plans and strategies has always been the major challenge. This might not be far from the fact that these politicians operate like businessmen out to make a profit at all costs. They want to profit unimaginably from any policy or proposed capital project. This parasitic and exploitative mindset cripples the efficacy of developmental initiatives. Nigeria is a well-laid bed heavily infested with bed bugs. Any occupant of that bed space is at risk of invasion.

Politics is very lucrative in Nigeria. The money involved is inconceivable. Today, you are a pauper; tomorrow, you are rich enough to set hard currencies on fire to heat your home. The politicians know this. There is no other more lucrative and viable thing to do. Even some of the biggest businesses in Nigeria are tied to politics, just like we have in China, where the Chinese Communist Party controls everything. The Nigerian political space, like other climes, can't accommodate everybody every 4 years. A set of political actors will be the ruling elites, while another party will constitute the opposing or counter-elites/anti-elites. The ruling elites eat bountifully at the dining table while the opposition watches uncomfortably. The opposing elites then regroup, find a lethal strike force and formation, aimed at displacing the ruling elites from the dining table. The quest for power has led to coalitions amongst political actors/parties to birth the APC, All Democratic Alliance (ADA), and the African Democratic Congress (ADC). This is the foundational factor.

I doubt if any of these politicians honestly care about the poor masses. All of a sudden, you hear conversations like: 'Nigerians are unhappy', 'Nigerians are hungry', 'Nigerians are dying', 'The economy has collapsed', 'They are all corrupt', 'There is no infrastructure' and so on. when most of these recycled elites were in power, the conversations were the same, and they disputed it. Now that they are on the other side in the wilderness, they are chanting the same slogans they discredited.

I am a die-hard realist. I strongly believe no coalition is congregating, expending money, doing long hours of meetings at odd times, and engaging in bitter rivalries with dangerous political actors because they love the masses and want to rescue Nigeria. Anybody who believes this might require psychiatric examination and subsequent inpatient admission on a long-term basis. A few of them might be visionary, but they are outnumbered by lions and hawks who are seeking to plunder and destroy. From historical antecedents, most of them don't believe in the Nigerian project. This is the reason why their children are educated and based abroad. This is the reason why they are easily treated abroad for headaches and physical stress. Most of their business investments are outside Nigeria. To them, Nigeria is just a 'place of work' and not a home. It is their hustle. These leaders have travelled to the developed countries countless times, and they have also lived there. They have experienced good governance in these saner climes. Unfortunately, they are not remotely close to bringing Nigeria close to a similar growth and development.

In my first week in the United Kingdom, I wept in my heart due to the changed atmosphere and working infrastructure. At the Lagos airport, I was being harassed for money by airport officials; the insanity ended as I landed at the Heathrow airport in London. The mentality was different. Everything was orderly and organised. I felt robbed by the Nigerian system. Bear in mind that the average Brit also believes the system here has collapsed, so it's not perfect here.

The level of hopelessness in Nigeria is a direct catalyst for migration. Both the haves and the have-nots blindly left the shores of Nigeria for physical and economic safety. Today, it is the dream of Nigeria to relocate to first-world countries. Countries like the United States, Canada, the UK and others are tightening immigration routes and sifting out immigrants. If Nigeria were good, the majority of the people abroad would stay back. No place in the world beats your home. A university lecturer wouldn't set aside his PhD to become a care worker in the UK, a job the locals detest. They would rather be unemployed than be debased daily by the people they care for.

Regardless of how the coalition's battle against the Tinubu-led administration plays out, the poor masses are the biggest losers. These are poisonous rats in different holes. They regularly regroup to feast on the commonwealth surreptitiously. Their collective and concerted efforts constitute why Nigeria is perpetually retrogressive. Even if the rumoured messiah, Peter Obi, is a competent saint with altruism, he can't do it alone. Look at his team for crying out loud, his Labour Party is in tatters.

Wrestling power from Tinubu will be equivalent to being rescued from kidnappers and handed over to armed robbers. It is a lose-lose situation. The only unanswered question is the scale of the impending loss. I hate to burst the bubble of any believer, but no messiah is coming. It's all a ruse. It is like the happy-ending story you tell a child to make childcare seamless.

GloriousGbola:
The moment he spoke about women being on top during sex I tuned out.

I must admit that this topic has been overstressed. It is possible that I might have nothing new to tell you. But regardless, I will offer fresh insights. Marriage, child development, family life, religion and politics are topics I am very passionate about. I am of the belief that if we get it right at the family phase, we will raise good children who will, in turn, make our society a better place. Due to my background in psychology, I have read hundreds of clinical formulation documents of mental health patients. One common factor mostly stands out - broken homes.

The weather is so cold. Two lonely and bored people of the opposite sex decide to meet up. The sex was so sweet that it caused an eruption of oxytocin in the woman. It felt good like nicotine, and she asked for more. She thought it was love and got carried away till she fell pregnant. Both parties are unaware of the sacrificial and torrid journey of parenthood. When stress and responsibilities kick in, they hurriedly part ways. The child accidentally becomes a burden both parties seek phantom happiness in different directions.

I believe it's harder to keep your family together abroad. The causal factors are multi-factorial and multi-dimensional. I will try to simplify my view and make it relatable. In Nigeria and Africa as a whole, the roles of a man and a woman in marriage are well-defined in an unwritten form. The man makes the money, and the woman manages the home. Even when they both work, the man is in the deep end, while the woman surveys the riverbank. If they are in mainstream work together, they employ domestic staff and bring in family members to fill the vacuum. This is when you have the financial wherewithal, though. In the UK, for example, both parties see themselves as equals. The only task a man can not do in marriage is to breastfeed a baby or menstruate on behalf of the woman. Equality is so emphasised that some women now position themselves on top of me during sex. I have nothing against marriage equality, but I know there are some household chores women are naturally wired to manage effectively.
Women are more comfortable with childcare than men. Women struggle in some physically demanding jobs like construction, working as a warehouse picker, in medium or high secure mental facilities, amongst others.

From my observation, most women struggle to dip their hands into their pockets to sort their bills. On the other hand, a responsible man is a provider by nature. If the principles of division of labour and specialisation are practised, couples can manage tasks which they can perfectly execute.

If your marriage is in crisis in Nigeria, there is better support from your immediate environment. Your neighbours who hear you yelling at your wife would intervene and try to settle the dispute amicably. Religious leaders, parents, friends, colleagues at work and other parties will be scheming to seek a peaceful resolution to the present dispute. Meanwhile, in the UK, there is little or no support. If you loudly quarrel with your wife in an apartment building, the neighbours might never approach you except if they want to caution/warn you. Most times, they might call the police right away in case somebody's life is in danger. The police are not trained to settle marital disputes. They will opt for the safest option of physical separation. They will mandate the man to leave and encourage both parties to press charges against each other if physical abuse or exploitation had taken place. This will leave an indelible mark on the marriage, leading to a possible crash. Furthermore, there are also social benefits and quick visa settlement routes for single mothers, making being a baby-mama very attractive. The single-parent numbers are concerning. 3.2 million lone‑parent families exist in the UK; approximately 85% (2.7 million) are headed by single mothers, while about 477,000 are single‑father households.

Work also weakens the strength of marriages abroad. Couples tend to spend several hours apart. Most women who work long hours in idle settings are vulnerable to having locational feelings for male colleagues. In UK workplaces, there are always credible rumours of staff romance, especially among night shift workers.

Marriage is also expensive. The cost of renting a family house is high. About £800 on average, which is half of the earnings of most people. This does not factor in the cost of feeding, clothing and other bills (council tax, water, power) which cost a fortune. Specifically, a lone parent typically faces the highest cost, around £290,000 up to age 18. Some sources even suggest figures above £400,000, factoring in higher costs like private education and living inflation. The situation is grimmer when weighed against the highly limited economic resources in the UK. This compounds the level of existing frustration in the marriage. The resultant effect is the single-parent debacle.

Most women have come to realise how difficult marriage is. You will hardly see a white woman say "men are scum". They have come to the brutal realisation that at times, nobody is really at fault. It is not just about the players, it's the game. Not everybody can withstand the rigours of marriage. After having a kid(s), these women are not open to trying again. They suddenly become open to explorative sexual experiences with different men.

Recently, I was speaking to a single woman in her 50s. She complained about having a big tummy. I jokingly told her it didn't matter since she was already getting old after having three grown children. She sharply shut me up and reiterated that she wants to remain attractive to get a man to 'oil her machine'. That is the UK factor for you.

I feel the beauty of Nigeria is not well expressed enough in the media. With most Western countries implementing tough immigration policies, it’s time to reflect on what we have back home and appreciate it.

This is a list of some top things to miss about Nigeria when you leave. They go thus:

(1) The food:
In my view, most Western foods are just good for aesthetics. I had always admired them in the vacation pictures of celebrities. After tasting so many cuisines, my perception has changed. Nothing compared to our pounded yam, Egusi soup and bushmeat lol

(2) The women:
The dating market in Nigeria is straightforward. If you have something to offer, you are instantly a major stakeholder with majority market shares. The women are beautiful, physically endowed and accessible. Abroad, the fact that a figure parades some boobs doesn’t make the person a female. Things are so complicated. Someone can even withdraw consent when you are close to climaxing.

(3) The people:
Nigerians are naturally exciting and interesting to converse with. Nigerians easily provide psychological support to themselves. We all have that carefree friend who can talk you out of a bad mood effortlessly. That kind of vibe is scarce amongst foreigners.

(4) The weather:
What could be more depressing than winter or a weather of 2°C? In a way, it slows down the economy and makes people feel lazy. Unlike in summer, the pubs flourish. With the average weather conditions ranging from 25°C to 32°C in Nigeria, the party never stops.

(5) Sabbath Day:
Sundays are usually exciting in Nigeria for Christians. The praise & worship sessions and pseudo-fashion parades are ecstatic. Abroad, Sundays are mostly for managing hangovers for fun-lovers.

[b](6) Marital life:
In Nigeria, a man is the king in his home. He gets away with everything especially when he is well-to-do. Abroad, it’s a woman’s world. Even pets like cats and dogs hold a higher stake than a man. This is one of the reasons why marriages of immigrants easily crumble as some men struggle with the new reality.

(7) Ease of life:
Life appears easier and simpler in Africa. People have been able to achieve work-life balance. Family support also makes life less bumpy. Over here, people almost work till death to pay for any facility they enjoy. Work is so frustrating that over 9.3 million people of the working-age population have chosen to stay unemployed and live on benefits.

( Cost of living:
Except for the ruthless Tinubu regime, the cost of living in Nigeria is generally low. About 70% of earnings in the UK go into paying house rents and accompanying bills. The average rent for a family accommodation, in a low-income city, is about £800. This is a country where barely 15% of the working population earns £50,000 and above annually. We haven’t even factored in the excessive taxes.

(9) Career growth:
When Trump used the term “black jobs”, the immigrants knew exactly what he meant. Most immigrants in the UK are perpetually stuck in dead-end health and social care jobs. The barriers keeping you there appear absent, but you can hardly leave. As we have the issue of tribalism in Nigeria, the ‘higher version’ is also a factor militating against career growth abroad.

(10) The parties:
Despite the current cash crunch in Nigeria, the social gatherings are still colourful, exhilarating and vibrant. Exotic meals still litter the decorated tables, with pieces of meat as big as Wike’s head. It is simply cultural. In the UK, someone will invite you to a party and you will pay for your drinks.

In conclusion, before you tell me to return home to enjoy the provisions, I have already questioned myself. My response lies in the dynamics of ‘giveaways and takeaways’. You can’t have it all.

The first contact most people made with Zimbabwe, in the media, was the late President Robert Mugabe. His political escapades and travails generated so much buzz in the media. The hyper-inflationary trends in the local economy were a point of reference by politicians across Africa. Apart from the political theatrics in the news, I learned an intriguing side of the Southern African country during the ZANU-PF events (main political party) televised on Al Jazeera. The women's wing of the party is so influential and they take the centre stage at public events. During political campaigns, they would shake their derrière stylishly and seductively as they danced to some heavy traditional beats. Those women were majorly massive in size. Their body mass was in contrast with the state of the economy of the country, though. Their backsides were so gigantic that it would seem their hips would fail in giving adequate support to the body. But nature had an inexplicable size of hips designed for them. They looked like giant mushrooms.

As a newbie in England, I came across more people from Zim (as we call them) as time progressed. Most immigrants of colour in the United Kingdom are easily cramped in the health and social care sectors due to structural reasons. The Zims seem to easily dominate several spheres of these sectors. They are mostly more experienced than Nigerians.

Being blunt, I feel Nigerian women are more beautiful and exposed than the Zim women. But when it comes to the body size, you have to give it to the Zim team. I am not trying to exaggerate, but I think their bums could stop a locally-made Rocket Propelled Grenade, RPG. It will certainly swallow up a bullet fired at a close range. They appear to me as the women desired by men who are into hard labour or some heavy-lifting.

Frankly speaking, they are friendly, humble, respectful, relaxed and welcoming. They have so much respect for Nigerian men. They admire the way we talk, carry ourselves and other mannerisms in general. They try to learn the pidgin English to enjoy Nigerian gist and jokes at work and social gatherings. They are attracted to our music too.

The Zims and Indians would share progressive information with you faster than your fellow Nigerians. Nigerians would rather share fake news links and other worthless gossip content on WhatsApp, rather than distribute visa-sponsoring job opportunities. Also, Nigerian women would mostly judge a man by the size of his pocket. Some will not laugh at a poor man’s joke to show you there is no room for loopholes. But the Zim women are different. While most of them wouldn’t give you their hearts, you are granted unlimited access to their bodies. For an immigrant who is being roasted by the chilly weather, their offer is more than enough to keep him going. Additionally, struggling Nigerian men who are yet to find their feet in the UK, easily find solace in the hands of the Zim women.

Interestingly, the majority of the Zim women are single mothers. The pattern is so widespread. Most of them have failed in the pursuit of love and given up. They are at the point where they are notoriously seeking pleasure and happiness. I know of a 35-year-old Zim nurse, a mother of two who is on a pleasure course. She is quite successful, owns her own house and a good car. When bored, she would stuff her handbag with condoms and visit the nearest pub. Any lucky man who is bold enough to make advances at her will get a full experience in her car, all for free.
A former neighbour who dated a Zim lady suddenly started losing weight detrimentally due to ‘endless shifts’ behind closed doors.

Today, the Nigerian-Zim relationship is advancing from a short-term basis to the long-term. As the Twitter influencer, Oluomo of Derby recently pointed out, Nigerian men are beginning to give the Zims permanent contracts. Due to the importance of peace and rest of mind in marriages, the Zims are becoming heavily favoured ahead of their Nigerian counterparts. Nigerian women are like activists in marriage. They act like media figures - VeryDarkMan, Deji Adeyanju and Omoyele Sowore. They are always fighting for something. Their propensity for fomenting trouble needs to be studied by clinical psychologists.

As the Zim women are moving into Nigerian homes in marriage, the Nigerian women are heading to prayer grounds like NSPPD, Shiloh and Hallelujah challenge for spiritual intervention. But the problem isn’t a spiritual one, it is more behavioural in my view.

One day, I decided to ask a friend abroad some pertinent questions. I said: “When last did you pray for journey mercies while travelling by rail? When last did you pray against power cuts? When last did you bind and cast the spirit of poverty? What about the prayers against your ‘village people’? I concluded and waited for a response. He struggled to give me a definite answer. He finally gave up with a smile.
Over time, I have concluded that most of us did things in Africa without any strong personal convictions about our actions. We are mere products of social conformity, groupthink and bandwagon effect.

Actions and inactions were regularly driven by the mentality of ‘Oh since people are doing it, then it should be right’. The challenge with this stance is that when the individual is taken out of the circle, they switch their colours to that of the new environment. This is what a chameleon does.

In my view, this is the major driving factor why Nigerians become less religious as soon as they leave the shores of Nigeria. In Nigeria, the efficacy of prayers (which is good) has been overemphasised. This has been done to the point that people even pray to occupy positions they are not academically qualified for. Someone might fail to prepare for a school examination and expect a miracle to happen. God frowns at magic and cheating.

For years, religious organisations have constantly raised prayer points for the advancement of Nigeria. But the country has been on a steady pattern of constant retrogression. This is what is easily obtainable when prayers go without work. Most Nigerians have grown to erroneously believe the key to personal and societal development is prayer and spiritual warfare. By the time they leave the shores of Nigeria and see their imagination of perfection in an advanced but starkly irreligious society, they let go of their core beliefs gradually and unconsciously. In psychology, it’s called Cognitive Restructuring. In the UK for example, I have seen former Nigerian pastors who pick extra shifts on Sundays due to the extra pay attached to it. Suddenly, the very religious ones no longer attend weekly church services. Evangelism is no longer on their To-Do list. The best they come up with is to repost or share religious messages on WhatsApp or other religious platforms. These people don’t pay tithes or give first fruits anymore. The growth of their finances, despite becoming less religious, has collapsed their belief system. They now believe somebody must have lied to them.
In terms of physical appearance, they are now open to funky hairstyles, earrings, and tattoos. Also, the so-called ‘worldly’ fashion sense has been attractive to them. A couple of them have changed their taste of music, stance on alcohol, smoking and the most controversial one - homosexuality.

The bottom line here is that whenever you find yourself in a working society, your prayer points will reduce. You tend to see life differently in a more realistic way. However, the level of societal advancement in the West is not an indictment on religion, spirituality or the existence of God. It only means we need formidable institutional structures in Africa. When viable structures, we can back up the process of growth and development with spirituality.

Prayers work and spiritual forces exist. This is known to the West knows but they will rather not build their lives around it. They only use these diabolical stories to sell books and movies. They tag them as ‘fiction’.

Nairalander248:
See the year you quoted

Naija Dating:

Dating in Nigeria is pretty much straightforward. If you are having any serious issues dating in Nigeria, your pocket might easily be the root cause of your challenge. Nigerian women will always give you a leeway/soft-landing if you have the financial strength. For example, most women don't find short men desirable, but as long as his bank account makes sense, he is seen as tall. If the woman sees the mere flashes of money in any form, you stand a good chance of being her man. I also understand that a small percentage of Nigerian women might be an aberration to the norm.

On the contrary, the majority of them are the same. Get a good apartment, nice clothes, look clean/good, acquire a nice car, switch up your interpersonal skills, buy a trending mobile phone brand and watch wonders happen. A senior nurse I know in the UK reportedly nailed several Nigerian ladies to the cross courtesy of his exotic Mercedes Benz car. These women erroneously believed he was rich not knowing he acquired the ride via a gradual payment plan known as 'car finance'.

In Nigeria, every man is like a superstar as long as you have a few coins to spare. The dating market is also oversaturated. It is crowded with males of different ages. Youths, bachelors, married men, grannies and all sorts of people are players and the woman is the prize. The men keep dangling different sizes of carrots to attract the women even when she is married. Some women are freelancers offering pleasure services to various establishments. This is why paternity fraud is prevalent in Nigeria.

UK dating:

The UK dating pool is more complicated than the current minimum wage debate in Nigeria. Although money plays a role in this terrain, the kind of money you need to make an impression is huge. You need the funds of a first-class/global entrepreneur or that of an established sportsman like the EPL footballers or Anthony Joshua, to have a massive impact. A Hushpuppi-like figure might also pull the strings. This is because most of the women are very comfortable to a large extent. They are not at the mercy of a physically -staggering leader like Tinubu.

Petty demands like a new phone, car gift, clothes, house rent payment, food, pocket money and others are against the run of play. Such demands are mostly peculiar to ladies who are newly from Africa, the headquarters of 'billing'. If a woman is attracted to you, and admires your profile or oratory skills, she might offer you the forbidden fruit like the biblical snake. The major limitation here is the skin colour and other ethnic considerations. People from other cultural backgrounds hardly mix. They only relate with one another on a professional level at work. There is a significant problem of distrust amongst people over here. While the wealthy men gallivant around in Nigeria, the ones in the UK live in fear of being taken advantage of by a hustling woman. One allegation of sexual abuse could make your seeming opulence evaporate.

The advantage here is that sex could be cheaply offered due to the pressure of the cold weather and loneliness. You might do anything with the body but never own the heart.

If there is any society that is designed to make you feel lonely and at the same time keep you single, it is the United Kingdom. Even if you come in married, you might lose your spouse if care isn’t taken. Over 100,000 marriages crash in a year in the UK, about 44% of marriages will always crash annually. The cost of living also puts so much pressure on you that your workplace might become your salvation. Every other thing takes a secondary position except for very religious people. Mind you, Nigerians mostly become less religious once they cross international borders.

It is not strange for people to get involved in office/workplace romance in the UK since this is where people spend most of their time. But this route could be a very disastrous one. Gist spreads easily in work environments. No lady wants to be the talk of any organisation simply because she spread her legs for a big-mouthed man. Financial demands from people back home could drive anybody insane. It prompts you to pick extra shifts to meet different endless requests. For every extra shift you pick, you have robbed yourself of good moments or any chance of recuperation over the next 12 hours.
The implication of being too busy is that it denies you any full commitment to a serious relationship. You might end up seeking the opposite sex’s attention only when you are Hot. In the UK, there is an abundance of men who desperately want to fill that sexual void. Marriage is never on the table for them, but when it comes to the ‘mid-section’ contests, they are always on top like Manchester City.

So how can the challenge of being single be resolved? The approach below might be of help:

The State of Emergency Approach

If you are a single lady in your 30s in the UK, you must first declare a state of emergency (SOE) in your love life. The security level needs to be raised to the highest point. This entails treating any adult male close to you with utmost priority except if the person is a blood relation. It should be noted that without humility, the SOE can’t get the desired results. That smiling neighbour approaching you to discuss boring issues needs the brightest green light to encourage him to speak up with his full chest. That course-mate assisting with your assignments needs to be ‘grilled’ like a corrupt politician to know his deep desires. I know this is a bit dicey and against my principles, but that colleague sharing food with you at work needs to be handed a starting shirt like Kobbie Mainoo of Manchester United. That shy prayer warrior in church, hovering around you like a drone, needs to be asked if he could ‘pray harder’ behind closed doors. Those random Direct Messages you get after commenting on microblogs on Instagram, Facebook and X need urgent attention. When you meet classy people, jokingly tell them you are single and would like to meet their single friends. Like-minds attract each other.

In a nutshell, every available avenue needs to be explored. People might call it desperation but the end will justify the means. Stop waiting for those in high-end occupation lists like medicine, nursing, tech, engineering, law, accounting and the like to come for you. Wishful thinking and pride amongst Nigerians in the UK have created a large pool of singles who believe they don’t need each other.

Being single in the UK is tantamount to being stranded at sea. Also, the market is wired against immigrants. The Oyinbos will hardly give you a chance because of ethnic considerations. The majority of Nigerians also come in married (both fake, partially original and truly original). The singles market is so microscopic. Most of the partners some people settle for are either stolen or ‘fairly used’ like clothes from charity shops. When the chances of success are low, an all-inclusive approach becomes ideal.