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VanTee20's Posts

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LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 6:39pm On May 29, 2013
Marian17: Oh God! I couldn't stop laughing as I read those two posts. Van, you are amazing. If only you will update more frequently.....
I'll work on that. Thanks smiley.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 6:35pm On May 29, 2013
Alex ebo: guy u 4ny die,hop 2 c more.kudos
thanks sir smiley.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 6:34pm On May 29, 2013
Lagusta: Now this one really cracked me up!!!

Correct!!! grin grin grin
Thanks man, expect more grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 4:36pm On May 29, 2013
#19
A little old lady answered her doorbell and saw a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would
like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!"

As she closed the door, the young man quickly wedged his foot in the door and pushed it open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse
manure from your carpet,
ma'am, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because
they cut off my electricity this morning." grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 4:02pm On May 29, 2013
Lagusta: Ok





















































































































































Ok
angry
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 2:44pm On May 29, 2013
Lagusta: shebi na u want comment nah, and i gave u plenty plenty plenty commentssssssssss!!!!!!!!
I want correct comment jor angry
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 12:35pm On May 29, 2013
Lagusta: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin gringrin grin grin grin grin
Which kain comment be thishuh? You don madt finish grin grin...
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:30am On May 29, 2013
Lagusta and others, I see you o. Drop your comments now before I vex angry...
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:28am On May 29, 2013
Marian17: Lwkmd!!
grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:27am On May 29, 2013
#18
TEACHER: Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't oppress. Can
someone tell us why we shouldn't do all these things?

AKPOS: (raises hands) I can, Ma.

TEACHER: Yes Akpos, tell us.

AKPOS: It's because government hates competition!

Happy Democracy day y'all grin.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:02am On May 29, 2013
[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]When I talk now you go complain... Wetin make you feel say you suppose make front page with you irregular update.

When I did ''Attai... The Player from Kano'', my updates were so regular that peeps were begging me to reduce it, but see you.

How I wan carry endorse something wey dey come like once in a week?[/quote]Once in a week shocked? Haba! That one na lie nah.

Ok I can't force you or anyone else to endorse my story if you don't want to, all I can do is plead and try to make you understand that it ain't my fault, it's just that my schedule is damned too tightsad.

I'll see what I can do about it sha. Thank you sir smiley
1 Like
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 9:22am On May 29, 2013
#17
Akpors has been admiring his neighbor’s wife for long. She always give him
this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpors didn’t know how to approach the
lady to tell her of his desires because she’s married.

One day the lady herself
approached Akpors alone in his apartment.

AKPORS: Hello.

LADY: Hi.

AKPORS: Is everything
alright?

LADY: Yes. Just need little
help from you (Smiling
seductively).

AKPORS: Wow! Anything for the angel.

LADY: I…I…I…just don’t
know how to say this. I’ll be so ashamed ƒ myself if I ask and you say no.

AKPORS: Oh my lady. you
don’t have to. I am ready to do anything for you.

LADY:You know, it’s been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled…

AKPORS: Yes! Yes! Yes!

LADY: And even when he’s around, he has some…
(pause for a while) he has
some disabilities…

AKPORS: oh poor
you… You must have been going through hell!

LADY: I know you’ll be
stronger than him…

AKPORS: Sure.

LADY: Can you help me?

AKPORS: Wow! Now? Sure, I’m ready if you are ready.

LADY: Oh thank goodness! that’s why I came to you. Can you help me
carry our deep freezer
from our kitchen to the next street for repairs?. grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 8:50am On May 29, 2013
#16
On wife's birthday, as a surprise
package, a man ordered a
cake on phone from Akpos, who bake cakes.

Akpos: What message do I put on the cake?

Man: Write "You are
getting older but you are
getting better."

Akpors: How do u want me to put it?

Man: Well.. put "You are
getting older" at the top and
"but you are getting better" at
the bottom.

When d cake was unveiled, all guests were shocked to see the message on the cake.

It read:

"You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!" grin
LiteratureRe: Literature/Writing Section's "Chat Central!" by VanTee20(m): 9:40pm On May 28, 2013
Good evening everyone smiley.
LiteratureRe: Literature/Writing Section's "Chat Central!" by VanTee20(m): 9:35pm On May 28, 2013
Fishoy: i wish he wud...v wr r u??
Here smiley.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 8:18pm On May 28, 2013
An0nimus: 'we don port like Etisalat Saka' grin
Yes o, but e be like say the gods no like us,dem don add to our problem sad
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 8:01pm On May 28, 2013
oyestephen: Abeg no kill me with laughter jare....u remind me of one sebonkagur kayegoshi(I hope I didn't destroy this name)....work a bit on spacing, especially when you want to write "your thoughts"
As for the winchy fabianus, let him keep reading minds
grin I feel very honoured to be compared with the great senbonzakura Kageyoshi. Thanks for giving me a head swellcheesy .... I never know my spacing was faulty o, I'll work on it sha... Now do me a favour and endorse this story for FP, it's not too much to ask abi nawink...
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 7:17pm On May 28, 2013
dominique: Keep 'em commin bro smiley
Thank you madam cheesy
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 7:15pm On May 28, 2013
Boyoorisha: Thanks for the jokes, very hilarious!
Thanks sir grin
LiteratureRe: Story: A New Dawn by VanTee20(m): 6:49pm On May 28, 2013
Neduzze5: Later things oh... I'm back on my feet and better. Thanks to all those who wished me fast recovery and safety of my lappie grin
Welcome back cheesy
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 6:45pm On May 28, 2013
iebanehita: Keep em coming!

You r good to go..#TeamFrntPg
Thank you sir grin.

I really want this story to reach FrntPg, but people are not endorsing sad
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 2:43pm On May 28, 2013
No comments sad
LiteratureRe: Story: A New Dawn by VanTee20(m): 2:40pm On May 28, 2013
Neduzze5: Ehem ehem, who else here is hungry for some updates? grin
I am, oya update sharp sharp grin
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 2:00pm On May 28, 2013
******************

'Wow sir, you are great. I mean the whirlwind thing and this one,' Castor said beamingly.

'It's nothing. Just a little trick I learnt long ago,' Fabianus replied.

'Fabianus, but errm.... You offend me o,' I said, trying to measure my words carefully.

'How?'

'Why did you let us crawl through that damned tunnel, when you could easily have teleported us to Distein just like this one.'

Fabianus paused for a few moments. He was, no doubts, trying to think of the best way to give his reply.

'You don't understand,' He began 'Magic is not always what it seems to be. My own magical powers, given to me by the gods, are limited only to times when I'm in danger, that's the only time it will work. It would never have worked in that tunnel because I wasn't in danger then.'

I nodded to indicate my comprehension, although what the guy said didn't really make much sense to me.

We started to walk through the plains.

'This place is not as bad as you people were painting it o. Where will we find the Zygus now?' I asked

'What? Do you think we are at Distein already?'

'Yes. Aren't we?'

'No, we aren't, this is Neous,' Fabianus told me.

... Mtcheew, News ko, olds ni...

'How close are we to Distein?' Bryan asked.

'Two days at least,' came Fabianus' reply.

'Whaaat?' I cried ' I thought you said we were only two hours away the last time I asked.'

'Yes, I said that, but place is different. The gods chose to bring us here, we cannot query them,' Fabianus replied firmly.

... The gods no try o, infact them no do well at all. They don turn our two hours journey to two days, like say we be Israelites sad...

To be continued...
1 Like
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 1:21pm On May 28, 2013
beycitee: Nice work bro....keep it up.
Thanks sir smiley.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 1:14pm On May 28, 2013
Neduzze5: Have we gone to front page yet?
Not yet o my bro sad.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 1:11pm On May 28, 2013
Episode 13

'Make we run?' I asked Fabianus.

'Run na. Who is holding you back?' Fabianus queried, with a smile on his face and a gentle light dancing in his eyes.

... Dis guy don kolo finish. Wetin dey funny ontop dis matter?...

The men started to approach us slowly and menacingly. I heard one of them ,who seemed to be the leader, say to the others;

'Killest them not, for our boss wantest them alive.'

The men nodded in reply and unsheathed their swords. Bryan and Castor did the same, they unsheathed their swords too while I, well I, started saying my last prayer;

... Dear God, I know I'm a bad boy, I kn...

'Where do you think you are going? Stop jor!' Fabianus bellowed at Castor and Bryan, who were already moving towards Justus' men.

'Are you blind or what?' I retorted 'Should we just stand and watch them capture and drag us to their boss to be slaughtered like Ileya rams?'

'Bryan, Castor, you know your weapons are useless against them, come back here, don't let them waste your lives,' Fabianus pleaded 'You Athanasius, that prayer won't help you. Come and stand behind me now. Let me handle this.'

The men were now closing in on us, Bryan and Castor quickly ran behind Fabianus, I did too but I formed reluctance small.

'Haaaaaaarrrrrrghhh!!!' Fabianus shouted in a loud, boomin voice as soon as we were safely behind him.

A very strong whirlwind suddenly sprang from nowhere. It attacked Justus' men and scattered them. We watched on with amazement and amusement as the whirlwind crashed them against the trees nearby.

GBAAAAM! GBOOOA!

In the next moment, all the men were rolling on the floor groaning and grunting with pain, expect one of them who the wind had hung on a tall tree.

'Should we finish them off?' Bryan asked.

'Have you forgotten that we can't kill them? It's better we run,' Castor reasoned.

'Yes, we need to get away from here. As you can see, these men are not dead, I just wound them small grin. They'll be okay in, let's say, five minutes time,' Fabianus said ' but we don't need to run. Just hold my garment, close your eyes and Inhale deeply.'

We did as he commanded, while he muttered some funny sounding words. As soon as I closed my eyes, I felt an inexplicable feeling of lightness.

Hell, I even felt as light as a feather, then I started to feel like I was floating in the air. All of these had happened in a matter of seconds. At last I heard Fabianus' voice saying;

'You may now open your eyes.'

That unnatural feeling of lightness receeded and I started to feel normal again. I opened my eyes slowly and I noticed the change in environment. We were now in a very wide plain as opposed to the thick forest we were in before.

... We don port, like Etisalat's Saka...
5 Likes
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:59am On May 28, 2013
sambroose: Just passing by and I decided to say hi to the oga @ the top.......Mr. Van nice job .....keep the update coming cox am starving
Don't worry my bro, I'll serve u lunch soon grin....
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:42am On May 28, 2013
[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]You are smiling... Eh? I came back to complete my romantic tale because someone urged me and I want to see how good I am in writing romance o... After that it will be "ASTA LAVISTA" my friend[/quote]sad sad sad
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:37am On May 28, 2013
Cute bliss: Foxy and vantee birds of the same feather
I'm not like Foxy o, I'll finish this one nah cheesy...
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:27am On May 28, 2013
[quote author=Foxy_Ultimate]The Vantee I know is one craz.y a.r.s.e.h.o.l.e that begs for comment without updating at least once in a day... Mtchw...[/quote]grin grin...Updating once or more a day? That's kinda unfeasible for me for now... It's not my fault, I'm the busiest person in the world for now... I'll update today sha, that one sure... grin

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