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VanTee20's Posts

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Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 7:39pm On May 12, 2013
#9
Two friends were smoking weed... One of them went behind a tree, removed all his clothes and came back to
his friend naked!

He stood infront of his friend and asked;

"How do I look in my new suit?"

The friend looked at him, smiled, took another puff and said "Wow!!! You look so amazing in this your suit but you put your tie below the
waist instead of putting it round your neck!"grin
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 5:57pm On May 12, 2013
Tabawababy: Ishhhhhhhjh
Worth his eat?
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 5:14pm On May 12, 2013
#8
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer;

“This is the
dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a fifty naira note in one hand and two ten naira notes in the other, then calls the boy over and asks;

“Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the two ten naira notes and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said
the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the ten naira notes instead of the fifty naira note?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because
the day I take the fifty naira note, the game is over!!!”grin
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 3:21pm On May 12, 2013
An0nimus: lol so Van made me a bodyguard? I don see suntingrin..welldone btw. Your Jamb result will be an oustanding one and your admission is already secured. amen. pls don't forget to share your testimony and pay your tithe in my ministry wink Bless you.
Amen, amen and amen. Thanks for the prayer. Errm.... My tithe will have to wait until the time I resume my work as a mechanic apprenticegrin
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 3:16pm On May 12, 2013
Tabawababy: Nepa just carry light and our gen repuse to wake up
Just poor water on the gen. Eat we wake upgrin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 2:54pm On May 12, 2013
Lagusta: abeg, these jokes make sense joor.....

kudos!!! grin grin cheesy grin grin
Thanks my brogrin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:41am On May 12, 2013
#7
CHEMISTRY CLASS
Professor: What is the chemical symbol of
Barium?
Akpors: BA, sir.
Professor: What about sodium?
Akpors: NA, sir.
Professor: What will we get if 1
atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA are
combined chemically?
Akpors: BANANA sirgrin.
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 9:56am On May 12, 2013
adexsimply: u are wicket nw cheesy
No o, I'm a good pessing
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 9:31am On May 12, 2013
adexsimply: dont mind he jawe grin grin
Worth deed I do?
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 9:30am On May 12, 2013
Tabawababy: I dont like you you are wicket.
Me wicket? I was just tried to help you nasmiley
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 9:23am On May 12, 2013
Tabawababy: Load is my shepert.. You are lapping art Ramma's dandrops? Stop it is bat pls
Sorry o. I taught the dandrops have gun. Why don't you try cotton her head off, that we surely help.grin
Jokes EtcRe: Help by VanTee20(m): 9:12am On May 12, 2013
Kai...I am laughed as I reading true the cometscheesy.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 7:44am On May 12, 2013
ekereku: Nice ones cheesy
Thanks sircheesy
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 7:42am On May 12, 2013
ohuegbeair: grin tongue
Why are people so stingy with comments in this section eh? Simple comment you can't commentgrin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op):
To be continued... Kindly drop your comments... Thankssmiley
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:50pm On May 11, 2013
#6
Employee: Sir, did you call me?
Boss: Yeah I did, go to the rest room and masturbate.
Employee : (After few mins) done sir
Boss: Do it again.
Employee: Done again, sir.
Boss: Do it once more
Employee: Now I don't have stamina for it, sir.
Boss: Very good, here are my car keys, drop my daughter at home.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:46pm On May 11, 2013
#5
Akpors was just coming out of an elevator, when he bumped into a young lady and his elbow hit the
lady's breast very hard causing the her to cry out in pain.
Akpors, feeling sorry for the lady, rushed to her side and said;
'Ma'am, I'm very sorry, but i know that if your heart is as soft as your
breast, you will surely forgive me'.
The lady still holding to her aching breast, stared at Akpors for a few
seconds and then said
'Apology accepted, and then if your cock is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 202'grin.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:32pm On May 11, 2013
dominique: Subscribing smiley
Thanks ma'am
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:31pm On May 11, 2013
[quote author=sweet-tease]Why will you read and leave just like dat? embarassedComment jor tongue[/quote]Leave him jor, he doesn't know that I have a loaded AK47 with me. I fit use it on his nyansh if he doesn't comment grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:10pm On May 11, 2013
onye ego: I've read ur jokes n am going away grin
*pulls him back roughly by the collar of his agbada*

Where do you think you are going? Come back here and comment jorgrin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:03pm On May 11, 2013
Marian17: Lwkmd... Those jokes are very funny. Keep it up @Vansmiley.
Thanks for commenting, I really appreciategrin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 10:01pm On May 11, 2013
[quote author=sweet-tease]Lol okay.... I just did smiley[/quote]Thanks for the comment ma'amgrin
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 9:59pm On May 11, 2013
Marian17: Wow! This is good. nice suspense @Van. Happy birthday@Oyestephen.
Thanks ma'amgrin.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 9:12pm On May 11, 2013
Please don't just read and go away, kindly drop your comments. Thankssmiley.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 9:08pm On May 11, 2013
#4
THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN
TWO KIDS.
Akpors: My dad is so great

Nuhr: What's so great about him?

Akpors: You see, even the
President himself sits with his
head bowed in front of my dad.

Nuhr: Wow! what is your dad?

Akpors: He is a barber!grin
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 9:03pm On May 11, 2013
#3
Pastor Akpors was preaching in the
church one day, when he
remembered that one of the c'o'cks he was rearing in the church premises had gone missing, so he asked the congregation;

"Who has a c'o'ck?"

...All the men got up...

'No i mean who has seen a c'o'ck?'

...All the women got up...

'No no who has seen a c'o'ck that isn't theirs?'

...Half of the women in the church got up...

'Oh! For goodness sake, who has seen my
c'o'ck?'

...All the choir girls got up...
Akpors' wife fainted...grin.
Jokes EtcRe: Read N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op): 8:54pm On May 11, 2013
#2
THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO
DRUNKS.
Nuhr: I am going to buy the
whole
fucking world
Akpors: No, you can't
Nuhr: why?
Akpors: I won't sell it.
Jokes EtcRead N Laff:- A Collection Of Hilarious Jokes by VanTee20(op):
#1
A lady with big boobs entered a bus.

She had a rosary around her neck with the cross between her boobs.

Akpors was sitting beside her and couldn't help staring.

The lady knowing fully well that Akpors has been staring for over 15mins
then asked "Are you looking at Jesus Christ
who died on the cross?

Akpos replied: No! Am actually looking at the two thieves beside
him.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 7:19pm On May 11, 2013
oyestephen: Than you vantee......what a comedic birthday present....that place is really jazville
You are welcomesmileysmileysmiley. Wait, U neva give me cake ogrin
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 5:04pm On May 11, 2013
EPISODE 9
Later in the evening, I laid silently on my bed as I fed my eyes with impudish delight on the scantily dressed girls in Stan's porn magazine.

As I flipped through the pages of the magazine, I saw different shapes and sizes of girls, until I came to a page that was completely blank.

... What is this again o? There was something on this page before na...

The hottest girl in the mag was the page on that page before. I remembered because I had dog-eared the page before.

I was still trying to think of what could have wiped the picture of the girl off the page, when a face suddenly appeared on the erstwhile blankpage. It wasn't the model's face, It was Fabianus' face.

'Van, come to my room now, something has happened,' Fabianus said.

'Eh? Wha... What did you say?'

He smiled, his same knowing smile.

'Just come quickly. I know you are surprised, Don't worry, I'll explain to you when you get here.'

After saying that, his face disappeared from the page, while that of the girl returned.

I quickly stood from the bed and started running to Fabianus' room.

... Kai! My eyes don see for dis Casville o(abi na Jazville ni)...

**********
I got to Fabianus' room to see him staring at a piece of white cloth hung in the corner of the room.

'Van, come and see,' Fabianus said when he saw me.

I moved closer and I saw clearly what he was watching; Five fully armed men walking through a dense forest.

'What is urgent about this film you are watching? Didn't you...'

'Relax jor. Who told you that this is a film?' he asked 'Do you see that bald man leading them? His name is Phoebus, he is Justus' brother.'

'Shey Justus the sorcerer?' I asked, although I knew the answer to my question already.

'Yes, and these men are going to Carzëf to steal the black sword of the gods. You know what that means, don't you?'

'Not exactly,' I replied.

'Justus knows that you have no power at all without that sword, that is why he sent these men to get it. If we don't act fast and they suceed in getting it, that means we're doomed. There is no way you can save us without that sword,' he explained.

'Ok. What do we do now?' I asked.

'We must ride to Carzëf immediately, those guys must not get there before we do. The Knights are already waiting for us, let's go.' He said and we dashed out of his room with blinding speed.

********
We (the Knights, Fabianus and I) rode out of Austieres with high speed towards Carzëf.

'Why don't you tell me more about that Justus? It seems there are lots of important things I need to know about him,' I said to Fabianus, as we rode past the steep mountain that served as the boundary between Austieres and Carzëf.

'That shows you still haven't read the scroll I gave you,' Fabianus reasoned.

'Errm... You are right, I've been too busy to read it,' I lied.

He smiled softly. 'Busy with what? Porn ba?' he chided me.

Before I could string words together to reply him, the carriages and the chariots we rode stopped.

'This is Cersvin Temple,' Fabianus said to me, as he pointed to the large, imposing building in front of us. 'The sword of the gods has been kept here for thousands of years. Let's go in.'

We all rushed inside to see five dead bodies and a lot of blood of the floor. The bodies belonged to the men I had seen in the white cloth in Fabianus' room.

'Go and check if the sword is still in the sacred box,' Fabianus said to Damexus, one of the Knights.

We all waited with bated breath as Damexus did his check. He came back to us with a sad look on his face.

'It's gone sir,' he informed Fabianus.

... Yawa don gas finally...

'Who the hell killed these men?' Stefanus asked rhetorically.

'I think we should be more concerned about who took the sword,' Brokotus countered.

'I did,' A thunderous voice above us said.

To be continued...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OYESTEPHEN, LLNP, MHR
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op): 10:41pm On May 10, 2013
oyestephen: Please post tomorrow.....make it a birthday present
I'll do that. Happy birthday in advance my brosmiley.
LiteratureRe: The Saviour I : The Adventures of Athanasius. by VanTee20(op):
purpinkx: I'm not a mod but taking this to front page will put more pressure on you i.e more fans
don't pray for that abeg your updates are far apart
E be like say I don offend you before o. What is wrong with having more fans eh?grin

Well, I can withstand the pressure that comes with having more fans. My problem is just that I've been very very busy of late.

I'll try to write and post an update tonight, or maybe tomorrow shasmiley.

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