₦airaland Forum

You make me feel like slapping the Shit outta your dead brain

On a day like this, imagine you walk into your bedroom only to find your wife and your best friend on your bed, covered with blanket. You removed the blanket and found them both naked. Upon sighting you, both shouts "April Fool" simultaneously.
What Will you do?

ILoveMakonen:
(photo); JAMB Is Security Conscious. TIGHT! SECURITY!!

See students lined up for security check before entering their "hall of doom". Under this hot weather! God bless their hustle!! Amen. Naija!

Why "hall of doom"? Were you doomed during your time? I advise you censor your choice of words next time. Rather than hall of doom, I decree that hall one of glory and elevation.

modelmike7:
Wow! 100% in all courses. Big ups to you kid bro. All the very best in the nearest future. . . . . This poster below me is funny sha, just imagine question! Well, thanks to Sinaj for giving him the answer.

Guy, it's not until you've 100% all through before you can have 5.0cgpa. Just have your 70% minimum in all courses and your maximum 5.0. Is guaranteed.

rawpadgin:

almost everything is wrong with marrying her

1.) she's a policewoman
2.) she has 2 kids & has never been married
3.) she is older than u

young man listen to ur parents, what they are seeing sitting down u cannot see even if u climb mtn mast

Modified
A truly funny and pathetic kinda love. When a fish and a bird fall in love, how and where would they live?
Having been in similar situation from which I had a narrow escape after 10years, I am advising this lover boy to think with his head and not his heart. Don't fall in love instead, stand in love. Hope he listens and remember life is not Hollywood or nollywood.

blueto:
Can't you portray your vindication and make it devoid of assailant opprobrium?

this was an immanent reason why I quoted the dude because he might have made some calumniating statements of infractions against. he attacked him with depraved assertions instead of being engross and making comments about the topic. I quoted him and I told him to attack the message. if fayose is precisely a 'tout' then are touts consummerately barred from accessing and depicting veracious and insight data is the decide to be objective?
You can descry that I absconded from quoting any other person to berate them of their comments and chided his assertions because abasing someone in a pejorative mechanism is lewd and worthy of indictment to me.

The question I opined against him was a blueprint to make him comment on the postulations of Fayose, not making noxious comments about Fayose.
I believe in innocuous mindsets and exercises because I am a philosopher of divinely infuse wisdom.

I have declined your affronting comments about me. I love your valediction. you made a palatable asseveration there. but the primordials were actually execrable.

Apologises for the deferred reply. I was offline then.

You actually got me laughing out so loud here. Regardless of your choice of words and expression, I guess you're someone I'll be on the look out for as possible replacement for Patrick 'Obahialegbon'. Hope I'm correct in that name for our great grammarian from Benin. Or are you guys related?
Sorry for the harsh content and context of my earlier comment. I think my anger cannot be divorced from some frustrating nairalanders' comment that leaves much to be desired. And thank you for not following in the trend I innocently but wrongly created.
I love your comments and maturity but let's please continue to enlighten our brothers who are too brainwashed for their own good and their unborn generations. God bless you. God bless President Mohammadu Buhari. God bless Nigeria. Most importantly, God bless me.

blueto:
He made a point with this

now what substantiative averment can you depict to refute & repudiate his postulations as mendacious?.

Attack the message and abdicate from attacking the messenger!

Enough of bigotry vilifications in political behavioural assessments.

What pointless point or points are you talking about? While I'm sure you're proud of yourself given the loads of grammar you just threw out, I will only pity you cos I see no sense in you. You're schooled but not educated; tutoured but not enlightened. Or what else can explain your association with fayose in his delusional postulations or whatever you want to call it? What point can an illiterate tout have in the first place? Are you too educated or too daft to understand PDP's and fayose's evil machinations and game plan to destroy this country? Isn't it this same fayose that called Jonathan "that stupid president " because he Jonathan conceeded?
Guy, being smart goes farther than being educated. This is why the likes of fayose could open their mouth, brainwash the gullibles and still cheat us of our common wealth.
In answer to your question, the money is not propaganda. Did Dasuki deny handling such amount or not? Did cbn deny releasing such figures and did iweala deny the figure? Guy, you need to be smarter not more educated.

kingreign:
[size=19pt]He that knows not,
and knows not that he knows not
is a fool.
Shun him

He that knows not,
and knows that he knows not
is a pupil.
Teach him.

He that knows,
and knows not that he knows
is asleep
Wake him.

He that knows,
and knows that he knows
is a teacher.
Follow him.

[/size] -An Arabian adage.

Hope you understand what the adage mean in this scenario?

Then I should hope the proverb is addressed appropriately and 'She' instead of "He" be adopted.
Hope my point is well understood?

realdee44:
link indeed. Were did I tell you I know everything? I only said what I know, my experience & that of few ppl I talked to. Pls I know you are mature enough to know that all I did was to give my point & didn't in anyway clam to know it all. You know the devil is also called the Accusers of the brethren. Be careful not to accuse ppl like you just did to me.

For your uncomplimentary and derogatory response on the gentleman that tried to help, I feel sad. Not that it's anybody's business what you do with your car but learn to give people the benefit of your doubt. Maybe you shoulda waited till he ask you for money before getting suspicious and call him names.
I should however point it to you that there are differences in girl, lady and woman. If you're a lady, act and speak like one. On this note, I'll suggest you come off your high horse a see that an apology is on point.

Bossforeva:
from where did u see that?

Go check her profile picture. Statement on the picture reads "I think I might throw it in reverse and hit him again". Did that answer your question?

But ma, please all the note on your divorce issue isn't really needed, I would advice you take it off before people start to insult you because of it.

Goodluck[/quote]You just spoke my mind. And a visit to "the pretty ex-wife"'s profile left me devastated. What with "hitting him with the car again" and the undesirable comments there. It's a grossly undesirable.
Rushing her (wouldn't know where else she's been) to say all this kinda tells me her 'fortunate ex' condoned much till push got to shove.
A bank marketer claiming pretty and announcing a proud title of "ex" tells me lots. I've got some around me I wouldn't dream of 'wifing' them. Lailai!

But ma, please all the note on your divorce issue isn't really needed, I would advice you take it off before people start to insult you because of it.

Goodluck[/quote]You just spoke my mind. And a visit to "the pretty ex-wife"'s profile left me devastated. What with "hitting him with the car again" and the undesirable comments there. It's a grossly undesirable.
Rushing here (wouldn't know where else she's been) to say all this kinda tells me her 'fortunate ex' condoned much till push got to shove.
A bank marketer claiming pretty and announcing a proud title of "ex" tells me lots. I've got some around me I wouldn't dream of 'wifing' them. Lailai!

COMMENTS MADE BY NNAMDI KANU

"Buhari is a shameless Paedophile and rapist....."

"Buhari is a Terrorist he should be killed....."

"Nigeria is a zoo and everybody living in that Godforsaken zoo deserves to die....."

"Kumuyi should be stonned and dealt with thoroughly if he comes to Aba for his planned crusade....."

"The imbecilic Goodluck Jonathan is a disgrace to humanity and deserves to be skinned alive for handing over to an Hausa goat....."

"By the time we finish dealing with the animals in the zoo, there'll be none left to tell the story....."

"We are assembling weapons and we need some more money to thoroughly equip our military to enable us unleash mayhem on Nigeria....."

"Niger Deltans are cowards, we know what to do to them. Akwa Ibom, Bayelsa, Delta, Rivers, Edo and Cross Rivers State are our territory and anybody who tries to oppose us will be crushed....."

"All APC supporters are Boko Haram members, they are the real terrorists, Chukwuabiama will expose them all....."

"Buhari married his wife after raping her several times, the records are there....."

"No Ibo man should attend any Church where the pastor is a Yoruba man, they are criminals and fools....."

"Ibos are God's children, others are children of the devil, that's why we bear names like Nwachukwu,Chidinma,Chinyere,Chibuzor, Ikechukwu etc....."

"Nigeria should prepare for war, we are coming to annihilate you, my secret service are already studying the zoo and strategising....."

"It is either Biafra or death....."
.....................................
....And gullible "biafrans" will tell you Nnamdi Kanu did not do anything.

Someone's father has gone mad...again!

Go find a wedding ring and pretend you're already married. Tell them whatever you want e.g. that your wife is in the UK for her P. HD and would soon be back.
Hang your sister's large picture in your sitting room and pretend she's your wife... .
In all, that those women make no demands on you does not mean they are not up to some mischievous scheming and calculations. I'm speaking from experience bro. Be real careful. Never allow them cook your food or wash anything for you because whoever feeds you controls you, jazz or no jazz
Finally, fear women, live long.

Please, anybody with CIT 701, 735 & 753 (pgd) past questions? Kindly send copies to adeola92@hotmail.com.uk.
Thanks a million and all the best in your exams.

Hi. I wouldn't know if anyone was able to help with your request. Should you happen to have the CIT701 material, kindly help forward. belldartop@gmail.com 08036792701

Durts:
Vello :/
Buy Oil for total deliverance and a devine solutions
with a bottled Water for Prosperity and against devilish attack.

If you need to see the pastor incharg for compline or for special prayers then He's ready and waiting for you...

I need to see whoever is in charge. Having his or her direct contact GSM would be most welcome.
belldartop@gmail.com or 08036792701

icedfire:
really these APC is scam... after blaming PDP for 16years, see what that are offering Nigerians... how many bills or laws that affect the ordinary Nigerians are they making? instead they are too busy satisfying themselves. change indeed..

saraki face ur battles

You're either stupid or illiterate. What has APC gotta do with this? Isn't it same APC that never wanted Saraki and now tries removing him by crook or by means? Given the will displayed so far by the party, is the handwriting not written on the wall APC's resolve to fight corruption? Check very well, it is the same party of thieves called PDP that's frustrating APC's noble agenda.
Go check your record, Leo ogor is PDP. Idiot!

modath:
, you go grow grey hair noni.



Didn't read either but I'm ONLY here for the comments of his "ex-friends" in the Jona re-election nonsense.

Wailers; Please be comfortable with his assertions, You all insisted he "made SENSE" when he was yarning dust during the elections oooo

God bless you bro. You took this comment right outta my mind/mouth. Let's pls tell these Biafra mofos the simple truth they detest.

DaBullIT:
Femi Fani Kayode is a loose canon

His views are not always the view of a sane man


Someone who posted that Japan was innocent and US Hbomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is terrorism

Clearly he missed some history lessons , Japan attacked pearl habor first, Several people told him that and then he edited his post

This guy is a multifaced coxsucker

Shouldn't you rather provide a rebuttal than hitting at FFK? Whatever you call FFK I care not but I'll love to hear your own side of Biafra history angle.

How so? Kindly expatiate.

chukwudi44:
Did you see any video of Saraki been stoned?

Always knew nothing good can come out of you and, just like your desperate political father, you're a pathological liar to the core.
The same video you deny is here on nairaland front page. Scroll down to find it. Stupid mother fucking saboteur.

In your dreams I suppose.

rusher14:
Honestly speaking I try to ignore him as much as possible, but dishes such blatant and dishonest opinion laced with hyperbole, you can't help but respond. To do otherwise would be doing humanity a disfavour.

The fact is, power supply has improved for the vast generality of people, especially in the Lagos area. This is not even in question.

There was a period I thought the part of town I had moved to (Lekki), wasn't connected to the national grid.

Imagine how much I must have been spending just so one could sleep.

Think about how much of the environment we have despoiled in the last couple of years with the fumes, the noise and spills into our aquifers.

Anyway, most of my postings here are to contribute my own little quota into making it a better nation.

Can't say the same about many I see here.

The more reason I deemed it fit to commend you. I can only imagine how interesting euphoria and the joy of nationhood nairaland should attract were more reasonable people like you here. It leaves me to wonder why Seun is so complacent about this worrisome trend. Regardless, let's uneducate the likes of barcanista aka FFK and his cohorts with a view to reeducate them such that in the end, posterity would be kind on us. Thanks.

rusher14:
Should I begin to compute how much I spent on fuel for my generator throughout Jonathan's reign?

I don't mind paying a little more if the power supply would be as 'regular' or even better than it's been in the last 3-4 months.

God bless your spirit bro. Please let's educate these bunch of unpatriotic uneducated saboteurs, starting with FFK alias barcanista their chief.
I've been to several African countries and let's be realistic, Nigeria pays least for electricity. How many of these stupid elements spewing rubbish out here would rather invest in the power sector when your returns is not meaningful. This somewhat explains for terrible epileptic power state of yestermonths.

TonyeBarcanista:
The Buhari administration is determined to whip Nigerians with the rod of scorpion and make us suffer through his mal-administration, incompetence and non-challant disposition. Voting Buhari was a mistake

Stop whipping up sentiments and spreading your venomous thoughts all over the place. Did you vote Buhari in the first place? It leaves me to wonder your hypocrisy in lamenting.

Durts:
No stories. Do you believed in god that does His wonders in a minute. So many wonderful experiences that i myself could not even explain how it happened, we care but god truly cures, even the so called "MAD" men and women were been healed by laying hand upon.God is still desame like off olds, if you want a likely testimonies i may lead you to the alter of these man of god a prof' and you shall never be desame just like orders

Guy are you for real? I sent you my number yet no response for weeks now. You promised to help then why the snub na?

MightyD:
Hmm.
The can't change anything for they Nigerian rather than expressing their grudges thoughts all the time.

The office of they Senate presidents have not been recognised by Buhari due to His grudges ambition ex-change.

House of Rep. Remained stagnant because of buhari's selfish interest.

All those new appointed/nominees are just going to be an a pulpit for buhari.

What a grudges administration indeed.

Would you call what you just wrote 'English'? Please read again and tell me the meaning.