₦airaland Forum

COOLCATS:
There are relationships without sex even amongst teenagers. Where both parties see each other as special not as mere friends. You have not even the right male friends. I don't have to flirt with you as a boyfriend or girlfriend. If we share the same view we can date even before I agree to marry you. You are just scared about sex and unwanted pregnancy. It's your opinion tho but stop making a general assumption.

really am scared about unwanted pregnancy is there anything like unwanted pregnancy whn one indulges in the act of S*Xunwanted indeed

So as u said wiill that special date of urs prevent you from reaching out.to other females

COOLCATS:
your inference in the earlier post does not make your conclusion valid. That's my point. Understand ! what am trying to tell you is being a fiancee, a husband is not a guarantee that you won't/can be heart broken or torn into pieces.

i said earlier that my hubby can equally break myhrt bt then am hooked already i can heal with time. bt dnt like the idea of one guy like dt breaking myhrt so my conclusion is still valid

COOLCATS:
you never hear of fiancee wey dump hin partner? Or a marriage that lasted 2 weeks. I just dey laff here

since fiance dumped his partner after two weeks should we now avoid marriage and be boyfriend girlfriend to avoid dumping after two weeks

Na waoh

IzonOwei:
I am not talking about girl freind now sef...you said you treat all your girl freinds even the same reason why I asked...meaning you don't have best freind...your mum is your mum..All our mums are beloved to us..I am talking about freinds who aren't related to you...if you don't have a best freind kindly tell me why..and if you're a best freind to some one else why not reciprocate...and does the person who view you as his or her best freind show you preferential treatment...

all these question for the gods self. your best friend is someone u can share your fears and doubt with. isnt it and i told you my mum is. i can freely discuss anything with her.
those people that regards me as their best friend did so bc of how i threat them. i hope this helps

IzonOwei:
meaning you don't have a best freind..and neither are you a best freind to somebody else...

so your girlfriend is your best friend O i have a best friend my one and only mum.. i think my hubby might display her though. most people regard me as their best friend though how about that

Oahray:
*sigh*
You talk like a child sha. No offense.

A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is either romantic or sexual or both, so yes, can exist without sex. Romance is not sex, although they are related. I'm talking from the experience you do not have.

Tell me, how would you know how the guy would treat his partner in certain basic situations (like when he's stressed up or upset) if all you are to him is just another female friend the way he's just another male friend to you?

Remember that you treat all your male friends equal as you claimed.

hmmmm

if i cant tolerate 20% of the character of my future hubby i dnt hav any business in marriage. some people can pretend to be nice and change after marriage

like i said earlier my home is the school where i learn what marriage is all about. yes i threat all male friends equal. same with my female friends. what i can do for a Miss i can equally do it for a MR

Oahray:
read your past posts about people in relationships definitely doing what married people do. You'd find the answer there. We've talked about this before on another thread.

Tell me, if he's your friend because he's good enough to be with, and all your other male friends are good enough to be with (thus the equality), what would make you eventually accept your fiancé as different from the rest? A proposal?

when i get 80% of the qualities i want in one person and he proposes of course why wont i accept it besides my previous post was referring to the real meaning of boyfriend. Anytime a guy asks me to be his girlfriend i do tell him i can only be his female friend not girlfriend. if he asks the difference i refer him to his dictionary. Tell me how boyfriend and girlfriend relationship will exist without the S*X thing or can you be someone's boyfriend without doing that atleast any of my male friend is always free to flirt as he want. but can you say that a boyfriend can flirt as he want

glimpse33:
She Has Gone To Meet Her Boyfriend

simple word of prayer you cant say..Habaa

Zikkyfuse:
[img]http://3.bp..com/-pcXBRAVUM3k/VpMwH1kTGiI/AAAAAAAH8YE/BcyHCXr9eRw/s400/1c.png[/img]

Abba Hikima from Kano State has declared his niece missing. 4-year-old Zainab has been missing for two days. Anyone with useful information should please contact the numbers below. He shared the post yesterday:

"SLM, my niece Zainab, 4 years old is missing for about 30hrs now. We solicit for your prayers. Do join us on the lookout pls. ma'assalam. 08065501189, 08065577004, 08035678024, 08055528288"

Abba Hikima/Facebook

http://www.chuzzysblog.com/2016/01/this-beautiful-little-girl-is-missing.html

lalasticlala, mynd44

God please locate her

Oahray:
hmmm... Such naivity. You'd be quite easy to get sha. He'd just just promise marriage, act serious about it and you'd fall for him like manna from heaven.

It's all good sha, as long as you do not try to act like you know what happens in every relationship.

For you to qualify as a male friend means some qualities in you is good...how can someone jst promise one marriage and you fall like manna i hope you know promise means i will marry you. and it is quite different from Will you marry me??

what do you mean by acting like i know what happens in evry relationship is it now a bad thing to express yourself in a forum

fulfillbill:
The babe be like me, and i hold the same principles as her, that was what caught my interest, i only see some rigidity in her, but a couple of "healthy" relationships may make her flexible, but if she still remains rigid with a bad guy...it will always be a problem.


@Vickky am guessing you do not find your male friends attractive on that level, when you see a guy that fits into your personality, date him, you never can tell what will come out of it.

LOL. OK THANKS

IzonOwei:
lol..madam...goodluck to you..get married to a guy you know nothing about and then enter into marriage expecting to know him while married and enter the greatest one chance of your life...even if there might be a probability of a break up that doesnt negate the fact that exclusive love should be shown to the girl i love because when i date i date with a view to marriage..and i dont support sex before marriage..

i said i have male friends i dont do boyfriend . Thanks

kaboninc:
How would you then meet your fiance?

Would he just appear? Would he just meet you on the street and say bae, I WANT TO MARRY YOU...and you'll say...YES I WANT TO MARRY YOU TOO?

my fiance is among my male friends. thanks

Oahray:
why contradict yourself? Earlier you said you'd treat all your male friends equally (so you don't chase others away), and marriage is different. Now you agree you'd treat one of them different because he has promised marriage, and the others would retrace their steps. What if he changes his mind afterwards? Wouldn't that be the exact same thing you are trying to avoid?

At least you are gradually coming into the light. You have to treat a future husband as special at some point before marriage. Quit the narrow-minded rant about relationships.

LOL. my fiance will just be one of my male friends ok? am not contradicting myself. when a male friend upgrades himslf as my fiance we bcome separated from others and strt our marriage plans not having one guy for many years as a boyfriend in the name of someone special

kaboninc:
It is not about childbirth bae...

Most of your comments here presents you as one who do not have an informed view about relationships.

Relationships are not about giving birth to children. And when I say I LOVE YOU, it doesn't still mean I want to get INTO you.

LOL@ informed view about relationship... please i dont subscribe to boyfriend girlfriend relationship.. besides i dont need you to say i Love you before i figure it out myself...so leave matter for Mathias abegi

I wonder if someone that relate with males is not in a relationship...must it be one person at a time cant you just hv friends based on different things like someone that can sing. someone that can write and someone that can dancemust u hv just that one person that can only sing and sideline the rest when you know truly that you r not in any commitment with that person

Oahray:
it was sarcasm, not an advice.

You think you know it all about life, guys and relationships. I'd like to see the male friend/fiancé that would be comfortable with your treating him no different from other male friends even after agreeing to marry him. Maybe you plan to jump from platonic friendship to marriage (all the best).

I know you are trying to avoid alot of dangers, but while the man who locks himself up in a little bulletproof box is wise enough to avoid death by gunshot, he'd still die of suffocation or starvation.

My point is, you have to be balanced and realistic. There are many paths to a sad outcome. Don't avoid one path simply by following the next one.

i hope you know that someone making his intention known matters alot. at least when a guy tells a girl his intention the girl in question will give him a feedback. you dont expect me to treat my fiance the way i treat others... fiance is quite different from male friends please in the former evrybody in the house already know that you are getting married to MR A. even your male friends will also be aware of that so that if they were nursing the feeling of marrying you they will retrace their step...Thanks

kaboninc:
Bae,

You can't feel the heat unless you are in the kitchen....

o yes i cant feel the heat of childbirth except if i get pregnant before marriage...ok noted

IzonOwei:
why else would i date a girl without the intention of marriagenow i know what your problem is..you have a warped view of dating reason for all your conclusions..and yes the girl i date knows my parents and i know hers..and by all means i try to marry the girl i date...i dont date for play...change your views about dating and you would see the light before you enter one chance...

I can only enter one chance if am also one chance myself

Beside in marriage Love grows till it matures to a very tall tree

now u cant date whom you cant marry yet u have the mindset that both of you might break up tomorrow why are u wasting your time dating her since you can marry her just go ahead and pay her pride price nah!!!!!

atleast it will save us from unwanted pregnancy thread...

Oahray:
aunty abeg no vex, e don do. Marry all your male friends if you like, so you can treat them equally.

Just stop trying to define every romantic relationship out there when you've never been in one. It's ignorance-birthed arrogance.

marriage is a different ball game all together so that i treat all genders equally as a single lady does not mean i will do same to my hubby. so i dnt understand your advice about marrying all male friends

IzonOwei:
yes i show a special kind of emotion to one girl at a time rather than love all girls at once..that would make me a flirt and a potential promiscuous man..the girl i intend to marry must be shown preferential treatment..i cant start that in marriage..if there is a break up i arrange my heart and love again..the love i have for my neighbor would surely be different from the one i would have with the girl i am in a relationship with..they cant be the same..

in other words you must marry your girlfriend so you hv her as a girlfriend because you intend to marry her is ur parents and her parents aware of the relationship or is it a backyard relationship where you guys play hide and seek This still buttress my point that girlfriend boyfriend relationship is jst where two people experiment what married people do
most guys cant even buy a gift for their own mum but will spend money on their supposed girlfriend. they cant even give their younger ones the way they give to their girlfriend. and the so called girlfriend will just be using them as their ATM machine.


Anyway your life your business so live and let live

IzonOwei:
I am not a supporter of sex before marriage actually..and your pregnancy analogy might not really hold up because not everybody marry to give birth and like I stated I am no supporter of sex before marriage..but relationship...yes I am in support..how in the world do you get to know the real character of a man you intend to marry..is it just by being casual freinds with him without emotions...

LOL. do you only show emotion to a particular girl and sideline othersthen when the girl breaks up with you u move on to the next Life is sweet when you dont have preferential treatment. i so much believe in LOVE your neighbour as yourself please what do you mean by casual friends bc to me a casual friend can be someone i travelled with from the same bus or someone i met in a seminar.. so explain

COOLCATS:
Good. Your point is, don't get into a relationship until you are ready for marriage. But pls don't love a man or tell him you love him because you want him to marry you. I guess you love your " male friends ". I mean you can go the extra mile to make them happy even as they are friends on the plain level when you have nothing to benefit. This is the only way you can tell if you have love in you.

Exactly my point...Thanks for the advice

COOLCATS:
I guess you are still a teenager. There is a broad difference between sex and love. You can love without sex. You will be more heartbroken when a dude you had sex with leaves. It's best to avoid it as a female. My point is, you are simply looking for what to gain before you love and that is a happy marriage.in the event where you are not happy in that relationship, you get frustrated and that develops into real hatred even while in that marriage. Your love already is conditional. True love is never based on benefits. I have had relationships in the past where we never indulged in sex, yet we still didn't work. I was not looking for what to gain rather I was looking to make my partner a better person, supporting in every area. Now, that's true love.

wait a minute..Did i hear you say that am a teenager simple bc of my own principle and believei will take that as a compliment though.

Now did u actually read where i said i have male friends not boyfriend cant i support my male friends by making them a better personmust i isolate myslf with only one guy bfore i strt supportingjst check the dictionary meaning of boyfriend please

mvalentine:
He was laughing because someone was praying about death, then God took his life

i dont understand you..explain


RIP TO HIM

IzonOwei:
and what do you mean..The guy said you had to at least engage in a relationship before marriage to know your tolerance limit and gave a perfect example of practicing before an exam...you went ahead to talk about getting pregnant ...so I asked why give that example...

What i mean is that u cant know how a marriage will be by engaging in premarital sex in the name of Love or relationship. my mummy said marriage is like a wrapped gift it is when you enter inside that you can unwrap it to determine what is inside...The only good thing one can do for him or herself is to relate with evry gender on equal bases and build your self character wise. getting pregnant and experiencing child birth before marriage is also a perfect example u know?

my home is the school where i learn how marriage and training kids looks like i dnt think i need another school bc if i relate with my future hubby the way my mum does my marriage will surely be heaven on earth.

Toks2008:
?

You are giving me hope that we still have intelligent ladies on nairaland.

Thanks..am humbled

IzonOwei:
seems you're focusing more on sex in the relationship than the relationship itself..

MR i hv male friends not boyfriends.
check the dictionary meaning of a boyfriend and thank me later. Goodmorning

chimere66:
An unknown number of passengers burnt beyond recognition in a multiple crash that involved a tanker loaded with PMS and four other vehicles at the Ugwu Onyeama’s corner along Enugu-Nineth route on Friday January 8th at about 7:30pm.  According to the National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA), it it took rescue officers hours to extricate and evacuate trapped bodies from the scene.

See photos above....

Source: http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/01/bodies-bodies-burnt-beyond-recognition.html

JEEZ!!! i know this place...God4bid bad thing.. May their Soul RIP

Good morning@ fullfilbill

let me share a story with you. one day i went to buy something with a female colleague after which i bought an airtime of 1500 to buy a data from MTN. the girl was like hey how can you use ur money and buy credit cant you call your boyfriend to send u a recharge carddt she can never use her money and buy credit. i told her that she shld try and b independent for once so that her boyfriend wont b detecting her life..imagine a boy calling u to come spend the weekend in his house simple because he spends on younow i hv never begged a guy for a recharge card since i was born. bt most times my male friends recharge my phone and i also recharge theirs too.....most people enter into boyfriend girlfriend relationship just bc of the benefit which is sex and money....when you dont want sex as a single lady wht is ur business in boyfriend relationship

Mr right can only hook up with Miss Right.

u doubt if i hv friends simple bc i dnt believe in boyfriend girlfriend relationship...you want to know if my male friends are all single i dnt know wht u mean by being single because any guy that is not married with kids is single. so explain the concept of being single to me because am sure anytime you fill a form that requires your marital status you write single as ur status despite having a girlfriend.

Toks2008:
Taaaarh..na lie.

am serious ooo. my uncle is an active member here

Toks2008:
Norrin special jare except as you wrote..premarriage activities in the name of courtship..lol

LOL

Toks2008:
How i wish i can even see ur pics uploaded cos im getting so curious about the face behind these no hold barr coments..lol

LOL. *whispers to his ear, i once uploaded my pics and my uncle called me one day to ask if am a nairalander dt he checked a female's comment and saw a lady dt looked like me. i quickly removed my pics and told him i was not bt asked him his moniker later he refused to tell me. am hiding biko.