₦airaland Forum

haibe:
this is the dumbest post I have seen today

Hey genius... let's see what you've gat...

Try this ..
Invite her to your place ...or make sure she comes around ...for may be 3 days ...
Here is the real deal ....
When she knocks at your door ,don't answer immediately, and when you do ,ask her if she wants to break down your door... carry a straight face straight to your room...when she begins to disturb you...ask her to leave you alone. Ask her to get dressed that you both are going out. Take her to a fine buka or aka mama put. Complain at everything she will there - Her sitting position, how she walks, if she talks while eating, if she stares at another guy,anything... just complain ...
Take her home ..continue like this for another three days.... you may add one or two scenes to fine tune it..but the theme shouldn't be altered that much ...

If she is still der by the third day, really really upset her ...make her get super angry ..if she starts her madness... draw her close ,give her a hug (of her life) and show her the ring and pop the question... choose a public place for this last scene! Good luck !

NB: You're responsible for your actions ,any loss of property or money or life or whatsoever in the course of this act is entirely your problem. e no concern me if you eventually loose your friend.

naijainfogalery:
All na wash.

The Epistle Of Jonathan - The man that got the chance to be the best ended up being the most abused and hated

I have never really expected much from him, i wont blame Jonathan i would blame the people that voted him in, i dont wanna sound disrespectful, Jonathan was soo clueless that his then governor stole billions of naira and he never knew about it, he became the governor and didnt do anything significant in his over 2 years as Governor of the state, he became the vice president before he could wake up from that again, already he became the president.

The problem is GEJ was never ready with everrything he got, Just imagine this an ordinary lecturer (permit me to use that language) who suddently became a deputy governor and all of a sudden a Governor, he was still mastering the act of governance, he became the VP, from the VP still trying to adjust, he became the president of the federal republic of Nigeria,

there are some states in Nigeria that if you put a 2 year old boy to rule, the states activities will be going on perfect , busines as usual without anyone complaining, but if you now put the same person to rule a complicated country like Nigeria, he might fail

To say the truth, GEJ is an honest man until the last 3 weeks, he didnt even know his wife embezzled a lot of money , GEJ was never ready for the Job, he was even forced to do the second term thing by his stupid advicers who obviously were eating a lot from him

It is very easy to criticise ....In fact , its one of the easiest thing to do! continue doing easy things ,let's see where it leads u to!

shaboti:
he's a yoruba kid

And (obviously) a poor student of history!

TeOwl:
G

G for goat aka ewu!

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You're carrying a burden around...you can meet her/ him anywhere... you shouldn't fixate your mind on the place...the place you meet her can be likened to a 'container' while her true character could be likened to the content in the container. you might find a good 'content' in a very unlikely 'container' ,say, a strip club. My point is, the container has little to do with the actual content !

jumongpan:
Never take a man who takes a lot of selfies seriously, either he's gay, thirsty, arrogant or needs attention like a female.

maybe na the nature of their business! After all na showbiz.. They have to 'show' something, whether its real or imaginary.

If they don't do drugz, they wouldn't have bothered to bring them drugs! Even that police chief sef na cocoa man! But the laws bin deh active before those men waka enter Indonesia!
Lastly, killing people won't kill the trade, it will only make the trade more expensive and the traders more scientific!

EggovinMma:
Police never save me before.
Infact they shot dead one of my uncles wey suppose to dey take good care of me because of dollars, first time he was entering naija after 13yrs. .I hate all of them, ALL.

What can I say that has not been said

Onajevwe:
I didn't spend a dime on the my overseas course. I was on a Federal Government scholarship.

Obviously, you weren't the 'friend' I was referring to!
BTW, fed. govt gave you a scholarship to go and study and come back to contribute your own 'unique' quota to self and national development. Ordinarily, they should provide an enabling environment. But since it has come to this , I frankly suggest that you widen your horizon! Welcome back!

EggovinMma:
See the kind people wey won join police!
No wonder na so so Olodo full that evil force.Na so so to scratch yansh for road dem sabi. Dirty people!

Na people mother and father u deh yab so? One day , they'll save your life and it would be a shame if you take back your gruesome generalization!

clemz88:
With all these professional qualification , u still dey find work

A friend sought my advice about going for masters program abroad, and I asked how much he had on ground ,he said #600k . I asked him to set up a business and use his profit to enrol in any uni in Nigeria after about a year or so! This guy vex for me o, say I no want his progress!

In my hometown, not even the inspector general of police can belittle any masquerade in this manner! You wan die?

nanauju:
Pls next time, don't quote me to write silly comments. If u re hurt, just direct ur anger at someone else

Virud , love n hurt are three parallel lines. They'll never cross each other! Don't be selfish. Why should I direct it elsewhere? please stay calm and contain the 'anger' to avoid spillover! Thank you!

nanauju:
"How about u take my Atm card and go withdraw urself some cash"

If you withdraw unreasonably, I'll simply dump you like that other guy did!

Teacher ,don't teach me nonsense!
He profited from wicked monopoly via Obasanjo'z administration. They shut down all competing businesses . Lemme ask you, OP, do you actually believe this article ?

Even in the face of grave danger or death, you still can choose how it should end ....how you'll die! To die on your feet or to die on your knees? All death is not death!

Perhaps, he wanted to study / read law in school ,but didn't make it! All way no b way!

7lives:
Aribisala is a bad infuence on todays youth and people should be wary of him.
If an elderly man like Aribisala can not call spade a spade, then the youths are in trouble.
Agenda or no agenda, it is not right for president Goodluck to agree to one tenor only to deny saying such.
This is why majority of the SW were like " abeg make this man carry him wahala go front and I believe maladministration and that his wife is another factor.

Don't mix issues up. Please! Agreeing to one tenure is unconstitutional and such arrangement and agreement is therefore null and void. Were you present when this agreement was undertaken?

There are remnants of truth in these kinda thing . But all power players understands that power can't remain in one place for too long ,else it will self-destruct. Ulterior motives or not, northern Nigeria wants to remain relevant in the polity of Nigeria. And to me, that is understandable.

Seems the police officer with a (bullet proof ) vest was smiling! Could it be that he was actually laughing? This is no longer xenophobia, This is outright terror. This is terrorism!

They ain't looting 'natural gas' . Sooner or later, maybe a few days , they will obviously have nothing to continue looting. Then, they will turn against themselves!

If you consider her to be 'sexy' but then go ahead to call her unprintable names here! The kain thunder weh go fire u ehn? still deh do apprenticeship fr okija shrine !

My people perish for lack of understanding!
Tomorrow, Amaechi and Jonathan will drink from the same bottle! If you die for them,they will recruit more people ASAP! They wouldn't even be at your funeral!

MsPat:
My 5 yr old niece saw a poster of a politician while we were walking near a police post......suddenly she screamed "ah aunty....this man has died, dats good for him when he was stealing money, he didnt know!". She thought it was an obituary. The police men just started laughing....i almost had heart attack!


Another day....she saw a man whose arms were amputated, cud u believe she walked up to the man and asked him "where's ur hand?" in a public place o.....Shame catch me dat day ehn.....i almost killed her!

Wickedly funny!
If this ur niece nor kill you ehn?
You go live long!

sweettease:
I give up!

Taa.. don't die on me! WAKE UP !

sweettease:
Wrong? I'm talking about the ones that actually patronise it before 5pm

That's the real deal! Patronize them when they don't want your patronage and create a scene if they ask you to leave!