₦airaland Forum

dont marry her, marry ur parents
ernestly when will some people have the balls to grow a pair

i will come sit on ur middle finger, after u finish sucking on my dad's fat co--ck

touch a nerve, haha u cldnt touch the nerves of a dead cockroach

u r just a fu---cking self-servicer-----i hope u heard me correct-----a bloody waste of bad oxygen----cos u cldnt posibble be thinking right coming up with this gob shyteeeeeee

i doubt even a divorced skunk would want to marry a retarded chimp brain like u

may amadioha's senior brother punish u, coming from a society the penalises and stigmatises the victims of rape (women), u still want them to throw a sorry u raped somebody party for the rapist, u need serious mental evaluation, after which u sud be put to sleep like a dangerous dog

soon u would be saying if a child gets molested, we sld spare a tot for the guy who was so sex starved by his wife that he had no choie but to molest a child

my dear nubian, thanks hugs, kisses, cuddles, smooches, pokes, licks and my bloid tooo lol

no be only essay sienna na my disertation be this lol

dancing, i think say u wan ask better question, i hate being teased for nothing, nxt time can it be---------how good is ur partner in in in in in in in innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn--------------------------------------------------------------maths

o boy i love my pikin to death and i mean to death but giving my heart in exchange for her life, is not quite the same as rushing up a flight of stairs in a burning house to save my child, in that instance there is a very hight probability i would go into the burning house but give her my heart thats stretching it too far,

first, now she is young, if i die who will look after her

when she is older, she wont be selfish enof to recieve my heart in exchange for my life-----like the guy said it a darn stupid question---nothing reasonable and progressive can be gained from asking this type of question----of cos some mums here wld die in a heart beat but thos same mothere wld rather buy gold than buy better cloth for their pikin-------

abortion straight up

annekix, my own is did u do omg ----- when u read that link
me i am born of nigerian parents, so i am not doing partial with ghana, i hope u understand my nigerian english

anyway maybe i no suppose call u retard like that, which in all honesty, i didnt, i said like

anyway, me am a very negative person, i know that, its actually my hobby in all fairness to me

thats by the way, my original bad belle still stands, there is nothing to omg and shout yahoooooooo o o o liken ( wat is that guy's name that sang yahoozee, pls remind me in ur next reply) about , because of that oyibo wey speak yoruba, i repeat just as u dey do masters na so she sef study yoruba no be BIG DEAL

anyway i no blame u, like the nursery rhyme goes,

hey diddle diddle
the cat and the fiddle
the cow jumped over the moon
the little dog laughed
to see such fun
and the dish ran away with the spoon

when u saw that oyibo speaking yoruba, u were either as excited as the dog in that rhyme or u were as over whelmed as the spoon allowing the dish to run away with her ( am guessing it's a she---the spoon i mean)

i tot i sud write the full rhyme just in case u dont know it. if ur masters brain doesnt understand it, because of brain exhausion from all that omging u were doing when u saw that blah blah blah, u know the story, then find some one who isnt as giddy and light brained as u to explain it to u

and pls dont u evr try to patronise me, or try to be funny with me, if i want romance, i will go to the romance section sikkena

its simply because of women like u that the father of my baby is reluctant to move to the UK, he reckons am going to turn into a monster, because for a short while he wld have to depend on me, live in my house etc

some how i dont understand y he wld think that, but then again ive heard of women dat just live to take the pissssssssssss out of their husbands especially if they control the purse strings

i realise that back in nigeria a lot of men threat their women like shyte or know a whole bunch of men that threat their women like used condoms, including their own fathers----fortunately or unfortunately they have also witnessed in a few families where there has been a shift in economic power from the man to the woman, and suddenly the woman turns to cruella deville

so i wonder which came first the chicken or the egg

you and ur yoruba friends were stunned, just the same way ur fore fathers were stunned the first time dey saw a mirror and just b4 they handed over one of ur forefathers to the white man in exchange for that particular mirror

if u hadnt lost the left hemisphere of ur brain---u wont be getting stunned and OMGING all over the place, because one oyibo woman dey speak yoruba.

http://www.voanews.com/english/news/africa/west/Olympic-History-in-the-Making-Ghanas-One-Man-Ski-Team--83647227.html
now that right there is worth being stunned and shouting OMG like a retttttttttard, i hope ur yoruba friends are as impressed---oh i forgot u prob think nigerians are far superior to ghanians

this white lady speaks yoruba better than most nigerians, is like saying a nigerian guy with a phd in english speaks better english than most english people omg

some one went tru the pains to learn ur language---wld u show that much appreciation if the woman was from botswana plsssssssssssssss----like i said she choose to stufy yoruba it really isnt an effing big deal-----if u choose to study english tooo---it really wouldnt be a big deal n i will be damned if any oyibo person is so tripped as to open a thread about ur achievements
if oyibo wear agbada una go clap for am----
if oyibo eat ogbono and poundo, una go send am award-----plsssssssssssssssssss

there r many impressive things that the white folks have done---learning yoruba certainly isnt one of them----
am not sure u and ur so called yoruba friends at uni have a clue about anything---or else if u saw a surgeon hard at work operating on ur dim brain---u wld prob burst into tears---from all indications i think ur in ur first year or prob in a foundation year, pisssss of u effing pleb

because ur a man----stay there make ur pata dey play with ur ballls----its a mans world, seriously they need to bring back slavery for some special black men, after u work for plantation die, i go see how u wan open det ur twisted mouth take talk ----its a mans world----so if its a mans world that means u sld behave like a wild boar, plsssssssssssss even if its a mans world it def aint ur type of man that owns it

tell jas man to go marry dat gal now him eye go see alligator pepper one time

when the only response to an argument is ITS OUR CULTURE i begin to understand alot about the african mentality-----na only u get culture---i beg freee me---if somin has stayed past its sell by date u chuck it in the bin i beg----okay bring the igbo list make i see
was it not the other day i heard that ibo spinsters ranging from age 5 to age 150 toook to the street to protest against these proposterous requests families make in the name of bride price-----plsssssss

smoke some weed dude----it might loosen u up a bit----i will give u a list of babaric cultures and practices some dead thankfully others alive and well that are all fighting for space under the ITS OUR CULTURE BANNER

female genital mutilation
breast ironing
tribal marks
killing of twin or burrying them alive which ever rocks ur boat
marrying off underage girls
polygammy
running around naked with a piece of cloth round ur waiste

since ur so steeped in african culture n tradition ----pls telll me u dont use the following products or engage in the following activities

using the internet
supporting foreign foot balll clubs when shoooting starts of ibadan stiii exist
infact i hope u dont play foot balll, u dont sound like a golf player so i wont ask
play nintendo wii/psp/xbox360/ps3
drink champagne
store ur foood in the fridge
go to church or mmosque
use a book
kiss
wear designer clothes
drive----i really hope u dont drive n u dont own a car because if u do ur an effing sell out
use a tooth brush
i really hope u dont have a blackberry if not tunder go surely fire ur bluccus
use the lift
go to schoool

am tired now----am sure u gat an imagination so feel free to use it, that list cld be a hell of a lot longer

u think being african is just about holding on to retrogressive practies like charging people a fortune just cos dey want to marry ur daughter.
as an african today, ur great grand grand grand father wont even think ur african
u cee my dear iggggnorrrant friend---culture is dynamic----u cant preserve culture by holding on to it---u preserve it by documenting it and alllowing it to evolve,

yeah and i speak good english where is my trophy---seriously this lady decided to study the yoruba language, just the same way i decided to study economics----y alll the drama-----one oyibo speeaks yoruba and sudenly nigerians can speak yoruba any nore-----because she can speak yoruba u feel so chauffed u def wet ur self-------------plssssssssssssssssss----so if u hear a chineese speaking calabar language or watever they speak there----ur def going to have an orgasm-----plsssssssssssssss

abeg not every nigerian living in the uk is suffering shikenna, yes it is hard but where is it that money falls on anyones laps, even a top civil servant on 200, 000 pounds a year will tell u its hard, because he worked hard to get to where he is

people come here moaning about bills n taxes, first of alll if u dont pay ur income tax, ur national insurance and council tax,

u can wave fare welll to the good roads and street light
kiss ur 999 calls good bye cos there wont be anybody to answer ur sos call

u can haul ur sick back side to ur house because the nhs wont exist

u can def say hastalavista to ur pension

no access to free primary n secondary education
i can go on and on and on

seriously u peeps need to stop painting this gloomy pic of the uk,if u and ur friends r suffering then so be it

yes if ur illegal it can be a wee bit tough but seriously alll this shiiiiit about uk being so tough is bulll

i got a friend dat earns 300-400 pounds a day,i got friends that r investment bankers, stock brokers n the rest, my uncle retired as a top manager in bt so maybe some of u need to get some sensible friends

no offence but i dont hang out with dumb nigerians who after 10 years r still grovelling in the mud, there r nigerians doing fabulously well in the uk, u prob dont hear about them because they dont make noise and prob dont even hang out with nigerians anymore-------and who can blame them-----to make it in the Uk u have to broaden ur horizon, u have to to be aware of ur environment---u cant keep ur tv glued to ait, hitv or ben tv 24/7 seven and expect to make anything serious out of ur life in the uk

the uk is a whole diff ball game, unfortunately, some people come here with their nigerin brains and because they r so bound and blinded by culture and tradition refuse to blend in, to make it in d white mans country, u have to think like a white man---if u dont mind me saying----because it is that thinking that brought about the internet, the blackberry u want to killl ur self for-----the advancement in medicine is all down to that thinking----constant electricity---good roads---safe drinking water, proper sewage disposal system----statistical analysis----research and development----management, science, social science, books, greater agricultural yeilds, town planning-----contraceptive pills etc-----u have to work hard, think hard, be innovative, u have to be inventive, u cant sit there n be expected to be told wat to do alll the time and u have to be dynamic---- seriously a lot of the nigerians in the uk arent and dats y they r stuck in their foot to mouth existence

when u come with the mind set of ahh its not my country oooo, they r all racist, me am a naija for life----u come here u mix with the same old retarded nigerians, u go to the same old prosperity church,u only go to nigerian clubs and nigerian gatherings, u dont even have one oyibo friend---how ur life no go hard----

oh i dont get british commedy or british programmes----i only like american films and american comedy, then wat the eff r u doing here then---u go to work u gat nothing to talk about becaus3e u know next to zero about the culture that sorounds u-----u dont get the jokes because u refused to think---u dont drink tea or coffe cos thats oyibo culture----when every one is going to the pub for a laugh and a drink----oh no i cant am a christian-----when ur work mates r going to italian resturant, u say no u cant go because na only eba, fufu and poundo fit pass tru ur digestive system, y wont u suffer in the uk

u come here with the mind set that u can never rival an oyibo man, they will always discriminate against u, the only place u can excel is in nigeria, u come here to manage and do gentle gentle because u r timid and unwilling to learn----y wont u be stuck betwen a rock n a very hard uncomfortable place

i see so many nigerians n i laugh---i rem the case of damilola taylor---no offence but shiiittt i aint surprised the poor boy got stabbed-----fuckkkinnng bloody peckam for bladclat sakes, y because u want to be where nigerians r bountyful n more often happens to be the least serviced borough in england-----y cos they cant imagine life outside their comfort zone, so their children end up in the worst primary and sech schools---then they say uk born nigerian children dont have respect----hw will dey wen all they know is oi oi and innit blad----mean while the best schools r in the suburbs but they dont want to live there cos they are afraide they might get leenched

me my pickin do do ballet---e go learn all the musical instruments wey she fit learn---she go do drama----she go play tennis--- gymnastics she go try am, art class she go do---she go travel---visit art galleries, visit wonderful cathedrals because as them born me here come carry me go that shed them call naija, wetin i no get, she must get oooo, if na too suffer go private schoool as una call am. i go suffer and she go go---cos when u go private school for this country u get to hang out with the future ministers, the crem della crem, the movers and shakers of the british society, knowledge is power people

how many nigerians have been to the british museum, how many have been to madam tussads, how many go to glastonbury, how many go ice skating, how many make use of their local leisure centers, how many of them go to the theatre, how many nigerian people have bothered to go round england and know places---if they r not talking about debanj u feel out of place, if them mention vivaldi, ur completely clueless, if them mention caravagio ur hopeless-----how ur life no go bend like letter k----

i just want to dispel the myth that nigerians r suffering in the uk, if they r then its prob the ones u know----one idiot telling me, i cant rellocate to the uk, because the nigerians that i know, that rellocated to the uk arent doing so well----i said thank god u mentioned the phrase the ones u know-----plsssssssssss give me a break

am fine siena, wats up wiv u
how is baby and baby's mummy
big hugs and kisses to them both

so where is my effing essay nl----seriously this sucks

i asked my mother the other day---y do so many naija pips beef american , british born nigerians---- my mother said dont mind nigerians we are hipocrits, how many nigerians die needlessly trying to enter europe thru spain-----if nigeria is such a fantastic place, y r they risking their life to do so----she said dont mind them they r just jealous---i mean y sud any one be jelous of me---i went to uni wiv nigerians whose parents used to give them £20,000 in cash while i had to work to support my self tru school, and maybe i felt a little jealous of their rather large wallets, but i never beefed them, i didnt rant on about how their parents stole the money n shittt----i just accepted, shiiiittt thats life----i dont have to worry about visa----so thats my undeserved blessing right there, i dont need to appologise for it just as much as i dont expect them to appologise for having rich parents

nigeria and indeed some nigerians seem to have an issue with people migrating, for watever the reasons might be
white people dont have any qualms about migrating, and i think thats y they rule the world today. how many irish people left for the united states during the potato famine---u dont hear the other irish people who weathered the storm bck in ireland beefing them or accusing them of being unpathrotiic, infact there r more irish people outside ireland than in ireland----you can hear, oh i am an american of irish descent---but if i say i am british nigerian, some nigerians think am being arrogant or am trying to rub their visa status in their nose-----but why the hell shouldnt i be proud to be british, if i decide to fashy naija thats my own perogative-----white australians were english migrants, white americans are european migrants, white new zealand r scotish migrants, white canadians r english and frensh migrants for gods sake there are white south africans, zimbabweans----seriously is it cos i am black that i cant choose to be from somewhere else in peace

seriously imagine christopher colombus or mongo park was from naija

i saw a documentary called the chineese r coming and i was struck by a certain statement made by one idiotic zambian poultry farmer---she said in zambian accent----- y r the chineese people coming here to open poultry farm, y cant they open their poultry business in china----i said to my self see this ignoramus---she has failed to see that it isnt personal its just business---u can go to china too if ur brain and legs can carry u there and cause harvoc for their indegineous companies

some how it seems ok for nigerians to rant on about how much they love the father or uncle land but once u talk about loving the uk and showing a genuin interest or passion for the english culture, they say one is trying to be white----am like wat the fu-ck is wrong wiv u------cant i like somin else, must all nigerians like nigeria---oh there is no place like home, yes if home is homely. to be honest apart from the financial implications of living in england and this is not to say that i am rich---i have a good quality of life, i live in a nice apartment and i can afford all the things many nigerians consider as luxuries etc-----isnt it strange that these same nigerians dat try to force feed my nigeria go, on and on and on about arsenal, man u, chelsea etc----i was saying to my friend see these patriotic boffuns dat accuse me of being western cos i refuse to swallow there b.s---wat happened to shooting stars of ibadan, eyinba of aba and the rest, oh i 4got dey r not english clubs

ok i love england because :
england has been very good to me
i love the freedom i have to be me
i love most of the english culture cos it suits my personality to a tee
i love the fact that i dont have to feel bad for what i have
compared to nigeria it is a much more merit based society
i dont have to adhere to unecessary customs and cultures that i dont understand and cant question
i love the architecture
i love the bbc esp bbc4
i love the english sense of humour
i love that i can be an aithist in peace

generally speaking i cant stand nigeria because of the mentality----i belive alll our problems stem from a rather parochial way of thinking



when i went to naija i didnt give anyone the impression that my wall paper was made of pounds sterling----before i went i heard a few people saying ahhhh, if u go naija £1000 pounds no go reach you for two weeks, am like wat, hmmm them go obtain all ur cloth and things, am like shoooo-----but all that was bogus lies---i spent on average £500 pounds a month cos i was there for 2 and half, i took over the running of my mums house that included me, my mum and my two siblings and i had a good time----i didnt derive any pleasure from going to silver bird , shop right and the other famus eateries-------shitttttt u cant tantalize a man from dubai with a field of sand----rather i enjoyed eating road side puff puff, akara, moimoi, eating in buka, kukuru and ekpa ---simple things like that====i still gave out lil money gifts but not so that people cld sing my praises long after am dead

pls wat is this nonsense about being threated as a second class citizen abroad, my friend said ooooh u cant make it there the way u will in naija---i say i beg if na curse then it only applies to u------shittt this is 2011, any white, purple or green man that wants to be racist and thinks i wont chew off his nose is having a laugh, oyibo people dey look face now----they can tell the ones that r hunting for racism---even with my naija british accent, they say where u from i say am from london, if u say no i meant ur parents then i say nigeria---shittt i am entitled to this country like any tom,dick or jane and no body can intimidate me----i am here for my won piece of the pie and i will be damned if am gonna let sone moronic white person stop me---the next thing u hear is ohhh una dey suffer, i say since when does earning a decent living,paying taxes and bills for services that u use and enjoy, translate to suffering---abeg chill out---it seems u wont know suffering even if it is tatooed on the back of ur eye lids, ehhhh all that cold nko, as much as i hate winter i enjoy looking forward to spring and summer---i get excited when i think of summer i love it

yes there r a few nigerians going tru a hard time in the uk, but none of those folks want to be deported for any reason, if them see ordinary lollypop woman na so them go run hide because they know the suffering they r coming from, is a million times worse than the small one dey are going tru here---obviously some nigerians wld do better if they saved up all the visa application fees and the countless monies lost to fraud stars, am sure they cld manage a decent life and prob go on to become successful entreprenure-----funny enof the people dat end up exploiting these unfortunate illegal nigerian r other fellow nigerian, i know of a person that got papers as a favour from an ex galfriend, the guy get the britiko pali fins---the thing wey him british born babe no do na him e dey do-----e dey charge him two friend abi na aquintance 40% to use him pali----i say see naija people

but the truth about life is if a place is shiiiiitttt like nigeria is for a vast majority of people----it only makes rational economic sense to move---this trait is not perculiar to any race, tribe or generation, it is just a fact---- even plants gravitate towards light, if ur lucky enough to be born with a platinum diamond encrusted spoon fine, or u have the tenacity to pull through regardless of the situation fine-----

sorry my post is a bit random and all over the place, pls dont mind me

ok so aunty cleo and uncle ramses were black ehen-----seriously this is pathetic----when black africans arent interested in archeology or ancient history----when i mean interested i mean going there n diging up n collecting artefacts and evidence, learning ancient languages n translating them---- not just gobbling up some crap on the internet put there to make some delluded black people feel good about themselves-----how many black africans can read the egyptian hyroglifics (thank mankind for google), how many black africans even go to egypt---not to hussle but purely out of interest-----oh plsssssssssssss

even if the egyptians where black so bloody fu-ck wat----is that the stimulus we need to make us sit straight and act right, shiiiiit that was 4000 years ago

wat happened to our history from just 500, 400, 300,200 years ago----where is it documented by black africans that we can read today and not feel that is tainted by western subjective opinions----una think say na by black black---black dey n black sef dey, even if they were blacks, they clearly had a culture of documenting things that i dont think blacks of west africa were ever interested in doing,

some people r born slaves walahi-----so u cant say f-u-ck it papa this list is super rediculous--- if u want to become an alcoholic then u need to beable to pay for ur habit-----some times not having a father in ones life has it benefits

my absentee dad said am not coming to u or ur sisters wedding if u arent virgins----am like dad wat century r u living in---oh well dats one less invitation i wont be writting then=====hahaha

u mean there r still some ibo women roaming around aimlessly in 2011 looking for a man to bankrupt with a list similar to that----i can see y the arabs n the europeans had it so easy when it came to buying people from africa----if men or families r still looking to exchange goods for a daughter they claim to love then i wonder wat it was like back then-----it wld be like a scene from a lagos traffic jam----the white man says: i wants to buy slaves n there r a million and one people trying to shove a slave in his face-----oga see my slave better pass this guy own---see as him body strong, him teeth white

oh plsss can i not hear that---its our culture bullcrap excuse again---it makes me throw up

thank u chair cover, i rem goin to church in naija n seeing countless house girls dressed in rags while oga, madam n the children r draped in the latest garments----i used to shake my head in awe cos these wicked idiots r suppose to be going to the church of jesus christ oooo

i saw how alot of my mothers friends used to threat their house helps with utter disdain---as if they werent humans----i began to realise i wasnt cut frm the same cloth as these bum holes----then u hear them say my house gal is a witch, i dreamt she was putting poison in my foood----with the way u threat the poor sod am surprised she didnt strangle u while u were having ur stupid dream -----if i was a house gal in naija----i go don plan as i go take run,,,the night of my disappearance i will poison alll the family---children included-----no be naija--if karma wan come i dey ready

tooo many effing hypocrits on nl
the women will advice u to be prayerful and remain loving cos they r all in the same sh-it boat sailing to port doom---misery likes company, the more the merrier in this doomed fellowship of misery

and of cos the men will ask u to remain loving and be prayerful cos they all partake in this shameful dance of lies, cheating, disrespect and taking the p-i=ss, dont be d goat seeking advice from a lion on how to become a vegetarian and ending up in its belly-------shiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttt

alot of naija men n women make my skin crawl---the men take piss takin to extrems---while the women take long suffering to a diff stratosphere-----my friend says am too harsh-----i say telling a man i wont put up with nonsense rubish isnt being harsh---am old enof to know wat i want shikena n if u cant be a decent human being u can shove off----no trainers allowed in this club, thats the rule, if u dont like it, u can sod off to the pub

walahi b4 i will allow a man threat me like a goat, i will already be threating him like a cockroach, blazay is right, u cld do wiv a boyfriend or two

if u cant leave the ring and u dont want to die in the ring, then u better start fighting and giving as good as u get---

def c-section eatme----i dont know y some women run away from having a c-section
its well nice to hear----damn r u sure u had a bby viva

its not ur husband u sud be worried about, its those clit-oris mutilating bit--ches u sud be guarding ur self against

mrs chima---over tire dey worry me---for real--- yeah there r a few nice nigerian men---but i cant be bothered to start looking for a tinny niddle in a gigantic hay stack----see tosin busy doing spit baptism of the left eye on all naija women----u see we a all rubbing each other up the rong way

gbam ---na this kind thing i dey like----if i were u i wld def be wanting my money back

some people wld rather we remained in 1945

its like saying wat happened to good old fashion walking into the shops to do ur shopping, or wat happened to gambling at ur local casino, or wat happened to good old letter writting-----get with the bleeping programme mate----the internet is the new kid on the block and is there for forward thinking people to explore----if u cant see the internet as a another medium of connecting with people---u can go back to ur cave and let modern man get on with the programme