₦airaland Forum

purplebrown: Keep Calm and believe in RSA.

MAYOWAAK: Some 12 years ago the Vanguard broke the news of Dr Abalaka’s cure for HIV/AIDS. Immediately the Nigerian intelligentsia and educated elite, a band of cynics, claimed it was no cure; Abalaka, they insisted, was a babalawo, not an educated man – his name suggested it. Quickly, Abalaka was on the TV showing his University of Jos MBBS certificate. They argued, that Abalaka was a doctor didn’t mean he should also involve in medical research; there was a rule to this thing. Again, Abalaka brought another certificate of his PG trainings in one-thing-one-thing. They insisted Abalaka must show prove of whom he had cured. A Nigerian colonel said it was true – 400 of his men back from ECOMOG in Liberia have been cured.

Then the Minister of Health, a man named Tim Menekaya, who was in his sixties but carried the face of a man in his nineties, got real angry. He said the colonel had no right to speak on such matters – and the military hierarchy agreed their colonel spoke out of order. Menekaya advised Abalaka to stop going to the press; convention demands that he, Abalaka, publish his findings first in a medical journal. Doesn’t Abalaka know that educated people don’t announce inventions on the pages of newspaper, he asked. The Nigerian journalists, now behind Abalaka, countered that even the discoverers of the virus, Robert Gallo and Montaigne, also went first to the press.

Abalaka , thoroughly satisfied with this support, gathered the journalists to his Abuja office and, in their presence, vaccinated himself (ingested HIV into his blood). People danced on the streets of Abuja. One journalist said he was leaving for Europe to personally nominate Abalaka for the Nobel.

Then tragedy happened; Abalaka’s wife died. Every Nigerian, including those who have promised to nominate him, ran away. They said the poor woman died of the HIV the husband had ingested. Abalaka struggled to convince Nigerians that his wife died of liver problem. Nigerians said, a man who can cure AIDS should be able to handle ordinary liver damage. Abalaka was no longer a hero but an insane man who self-infected himself with the deadly virus.

Abalaka, an ambitious man, fought not to go down. He would show Nigerians that he was a great man. He went and collected PDP governorship primaries form and, in his first public outing, promised his people of Kogi State and the neighbouring Benue that he would build a hospital at the boundary and cure their AIDS freely. (Benue State is to Nigeria what South Africa is to Africa with regards to AIDS prevalence).

Before Abalaka could submit his form, three men from NAFDAC (the government agency regulating canned food, bottled drinks, biscuits and pharmaceutical products) arrived his Okene village from Lagos and requested he joined them to Lagos. Abalaka felt God has heard his prayers; PDP was going to provide money through NAFDAC to help him win the election.

At Lagos things took a strange dimension. They took off Abalaka’s belt and tie – so that he would not hurt himself. Then when Abalaka realised what was happening, they took his phone; he couldn’t reach Femi Falana, Bamidele Aturu or Festus Keyamo or even his family. The NAFDAC people accused him of defaulting to pay patent fees of [N3000] for his findings!

Abalaka requested they should take him to his bank and he would pay, even though it was no criminal offence requiring arrest. They told Abalaka that they were making their investigations. The investigation took quite long, ran into days. By the time Abalaka was found not guilty and released, the PDP governorship primary was over.

I was in Abuja when Abalaka appeared on the TV. He had become thin and his voice was no longer that of a discoverer but of a man just evicted from 1009. The host asked if he would take PDP to the tribunal. Abalaka replied, he had left it in the hands of God. The host asked if he would sue NAFDAC for illegal detention. Abalaka replied, he had left the matter in the hands of God. The host asked if he was going to research another sickness, say, sickle cell anaemia. Abalaka said, he had left E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G in the hands of God

acidtalk: *Nigeria Will Have a Terrible outing in the forthcoming AFCON. The country will barely move out of group stages.

View full predictions below :

https://www.nairaland.com/1150162/predictions-first-quarter-2013

hang him, hang him, hang him, hang him