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Vizion's Posts

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Forum GamesRe: (Forum Game) Artists Names In Alphabetic Order by vizion: 1:21pm On Nov 08, 2005
yolanda adams
Forum GamesRe: The Chain Word Game by vizion: 1:14pm On Nov 08, 2005
DJ
Forum GamesRe: (Forum Game) Artists Names In Alphabetic Order by vizion: 1:12pm On Nov 08, 2005
westlife
Forum GamesRe: (Forum Game) Artists Names In Alphabetic Order by vizion: 10:29am On Nov 08, 2005
UB-40
Forum GamesRe: The Chain Word Game by vizion: 10:24am On Nov 08, 2005
camera
Jokes EtcRe: little boots by vizion(op): 10:16am On Nov 08, 2005
yah
thats y shes on trial
Forum GamesRe: (Forum Game) Artists Names In Alphabetic Order by vizion: 10:09am On Nov 08, 2005
Ray J
Forum GamesRe: First And Last Letter Game by vizion: 10:05am On Nov 08, 2005
thread
Forum GamesRe: The Chain Word Game by vizion: 10:00am On Nov 08, 2005
pictures
Forum GamesRe: The Chain Word Game by vizion: 4:31pm On Nov 07, 2005
power
Forum GamesRe: First And Last Letter Game by vizion: 4:27pm On Nov 07, 2005
army
Forum GamesRe: The Chain Word Game by vizion: 5:37pm On Nov 04, 2005
wicked
PhonesRe: Show your Phone by vizion: 9:37am On Nov 04, 2005
i use a sonyericsson k700i
love it because its sony
love to get new k750i with all its new features(heard its gotten a 2.0 megapixel camera and 64MB)
also love the P910i
Nairaland GeneralRe: How Did You Discover Nairaland? by vizion: 8:37am On Nov 04, 2005
went to the net to get information on how to set up my wap
was directed to mambas article
that was how i came here
Forum GamesRe: First And Last Letter Game by vizion: 7:40am On Nov 04, 2005
mighty
Forum GamesRe: (Forum Game) Artists Names In Alphabetic Order by vizion: 5:00pm On Nov 01, 2005
Macy Gray
Jokes Etclittle boots by vizion(op): 4:26pm On Nov 01, 2005
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my
boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

He said, "I stuffed them in the
toes of my boots..."

Her trial starts next month.
Jokes EtcThe Dog vs the Leopard by vizion(op): 4:01pm On Nov 01, 2005
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Boyo, I'm in deep doo doo now." (He was an Irish setter).... Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"
Jokes EtcMarriage Counseling by vizion(op): 3:51pm On Nov 01, 2005
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling.

When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" The wife began talking describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, "'Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Mondays and Thursdays."
Jokes EtcRe: A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's by vizion: 3:30pm On Nov 01, 2005
Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Odeku! ! ! where u hear this one? ? ?
Jokes EtcRe: DUI - Driving Under the Influence by vizion(op): 3:00pm On Nov 01, 2005
A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his
window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to
award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"

He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't
pay attention to him - he's a smart butt when he's drunk and stoned."

The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
Jokes EtcGenerous Man by vizion(op): 2:45pm On Nov 01, 2005
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"
Jokes EtcDUI - Driving Under the Influence by vizion(op): 2:17pm On Nov 01, 2005
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.

At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0.

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.

The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
Jokes EtcRe: Nigerian Jokes by vizion: 1:53pm On Nov 01, 2005
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.

After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."

"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, get in."
Jokes EtcThe Ventriloquist & the Blonde by vizion(op): 12:59pm On Nov 01, 2005
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in Alabama. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair.

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person...because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is extremely embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little smartmouth on your knee."
Jokes EtcRe: Drunked and Blonde by vizion: 12:53pm On Nov 01, 2005
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his side profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up
with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds"... think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does
in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
BusinessRe: Way Forward for Nigeria: Construction of Refineries by vizion: 11:08am On Nov 01, 2005
the cost of solar panels are quite expensive initialy
but after runnning it for some years, it becomes cheaper on the long run
Christianity EtcRe: Voodoo: Do You Believe In It? by vizion: 10:32am On Nov 01, 2005
even the bible tells us of people communicating with the dead
Jokes EtcRe: rhymeeee by vizion: 10:22am On Nov 01, 2005
layi u damn good
keep it up

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