Blue

relationship

ziggy marley

nice

bad

Xscape

vanessa williams

are salaries higher or lower?

An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It's fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -
"Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says -
"Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, -
"Touchdown, tie score!"
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says -
"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!"

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"

Snoop Dogg 's Answer:
This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know
what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.


Isaac Newton 's Answer:
The duck suggested to the chicken that they play follow the leader then the duck crossed the road causing the chicken to cross after it, but at the same time holding up traffic, thus proving that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .


Shakespeare 's Answer:
To cross or not to cross, that is the question.


Rene Descartes 's Answer:
Since the chicken does not really exist it was only an illusion that the chicken crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created the chicken that crossed the road.


Ken Lay's Answer:
I was not aware of the chicken's crossing the road or of any accounting tricks used by Enron to disguise the chicken's true position.


John Kerry's Answer:
I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe that the chicken should not get to the other side..


Pete Rose 's Answer:
I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.


Gandhi 's Answer:
All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.


Colin Powell 's Answer:
This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.


Darwin's Answer:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Another Answer:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.


(former) Iraq Information Minister:
There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.


Moses's Answer:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


David Hume's Answer:
Out of custom and habit.


Henry David Thoreau's Answer:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.


Hippocrates's Answer:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.


Howard Cosell's Answer:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homosapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.


Jack Nicholson's Answer:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to.
That's the (censored) reason.

Johnny Cochran 's Answer:
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.


Machiavelli's Answer:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Another Answer:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which
has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear,
for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained


Arthur Andersen Consultant's Answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. (Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.



Neil Armstrong's Answer:
To go where no chicken has gone before.

Another Answer:
That's one small step for Chicken, one giant leap for Chicken kind.


Thomas de Torquemada's Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.



Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Another Answer:
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them




Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"


Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.


Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday and head to the hills to do some bear hunting. As he rounded the corner on a perilous twist in the trail, he and a bear collided, sending him and his rifle tumbling down the mountainside. Before he knew it, his rifle went one way and he went the other, landing on a rock and breaking both legs. That was the good news. The bad news was the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, and he couldn't move. "Oh, Lord," the preacher prayed, "I'm so sorry for skipping services today to come out here and hunt. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish...please make a Christian out of that bear that's coming at me. Please, Lord!"

That very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to its knees, clasped its paws together and began to pray aloud right at the preacher's feet.
"Dear God, bless this food I am about to receive

nija is the best place for one to make cool money
u don't have to work under someone
just take a look at the good things u see over, there bring it down, here develope the place, and make ur money.
quite simple
life in nigeria is easier than life abroad.

the average in the country is about 100k now

monks

heard they are recalling the note due to the error

tina turner

convent

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stain

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

outkast

Spaghetti

that programme is too nice i enjoy it totally
just have to say kudos to the producers
they should keep it up
others should also learn a thing or two from them

Aerosmith

oat

scream

drums