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Noblejohn32:
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Noblejohn32:
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Twenty eight minutes later, I was served a mouth watering local delicacy.
Ekpankukwo.

After the dish, I washed it down with a jug of fresh tapped palm wine.

"My son, I want to appreciate your efforts for finding time to visit us.." My Dad said, he was on his third jug of palm wine.

"It's okay Dad...it's my responsibility!"

"What is your responsibility?" He threw what seemed like a senseless question to me.

"To visit you people na" I replied.

He deadpanned, "Because you visited us today doesn't make it your responsibility".

" So, what is my responsibility then?" I asked.

"Hmmm.." He drained another jug of palm wine.
"You are my only child that have made me smile in days...look at what you brought. At least I wouldn't worry about food for the next six month. Your Elder Sister...Flora who claims she is married have never visited here with a cup of garri. Not as if I'm interested in it but at least...I told that girl not to marry that antelope headed.."

"Dad it's okay!" I chided. My Dad was always fond of changing sides immediately the situation favours or disfavours him.
I'm pretty sure if my sister should show up tomorrow with a plate of chicken, my dad will say his other children are good for nothing because they couldn't show up with same.

"Mark, do you know that your sister...Flora is a punching bag?" Dad asked.

"How?" I asked confused.

"You are very, very stupid for asking me how?"

"Ahh.."

"You mean if I die today, that means you won't be able to run this family.
See, it's not all about wearing chain and barbing okpoto haircut. It's simple sense of family running."

Dad was pissing me off, "last time I called her, she told me that everything is fine".

" And you believed, you see..on the scale of one to ninety, your stupidity is eighty six. Last time your sister visited, her mouth was like 1996 Peugeot fender".

"Dad, calm down...what do you mean?"

"What you mean is what I mean? That husband of your sister has been beating your sister. He has been using your sister's face to learn punching".

" Dad you mean your son in-law has been beat..."

"If you were not the son I like, I would have just forget the back of my hand on your teeth. Who are you calling my son-in-law? The only son in law I have is Udoka's male dog that impregnated my female dog."

My Father was truly loosing it.

"But Dad, have you tried to resolve the problem?"

"Why should I, am I a lawyer. That's why I sent you to school, but instead for you to go to school, you failed literature eight times in WAEC".

" Jesus! I wasn't an art student".

"What were you, commercial? By the way...the boy has been saying that my daughter isn't good on bed".

My mouth hung open.

" I have asked your mother and her daughters what it means but they don't have an idea. What does it mean to be bad on the bed?" He asked.

I wanted to feign ignorance but I decided to come out clean, "it means she isn't sexually active".

My Dad jumped up and spoke in tongues.

"Sexually active ko....sexually strong ni...you mean he wants my daughter to be a porn star. The daughter I trained, he wants my daughter to be throwing football stunt and he will be kapashing her every corner. He wants to spoil my daughter.."

Dad took it really personal.

"Koko.." My mum called from the backyard, "Allow my son to rest".

" Allow your son to rest? No one will rest until this battle is over...Lemme go and change up...we are going to that house now!".

I wonder what I've gotten myself into.
My cabman took us to my sister's residence at ikotabasi.
All through the ride, my Dad kept on shouting like a mentally deranged man.

When we arrived, he jumped out of the car and headed straight to the apartment.
Ready for a fight.
Without knocking, he barged in.

"Father inlaw.." My Sister's hubby called out.
He was eating on the dinner table.

"Father inlaw..." He called.

"It is your biological father that is your father in law! Elephant!!" Dad barked.

tbc..


Adeola25 and thousands of fans out there,
Put smiles on the birthday boy's face...
Mfon John David..
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