₦airaland Forum

she is good, beautiful and arrogant.she first fail for me,but then i was in a relationship.she did wanted me badly, but she was worth nothing to me.once she confessed to me that the very first day i tourched her she came(you know what i mean).on one occassion we did everything but sex;i had to avoid sex because i knew she was mad about me and i did not want to hurt her.when it became obvious to her that she might never have me, her last words to me were: "when you cant have a particular thing, is better to treat it as it never existed" and she reffered me to one of the rules in the book-"48 Laws of Power"

funny enogh, years after the table turned against me.am now cap in hand begging for her love,but she has brought me to my knees without result.
i need a candid and mature advise pls.

th most stupid thing to do is want to trap a man that way or even anyway at all. both sexes must be trapped by invincible and invisible forces.none must pre-meditate the trapping if it must stink.

however, if i find myself that way, i did be responsible enough to take her through the pregnancy but as for marriage, she will have to do more.

@ogb5
kudos brother. u will make fabulous carear in counseling.

@ Poster
your posting and all your responses lives me with the feeling that this is about one of if the most genuine thread posted on Nairaland. am convinced you are real.

your situation is parthetic. i truely feel for you.in the circumstances and on the realisation that it might not be in your best interest to disclose all relevant facts of your predicaments on this site, i heartily advice you go for counselling. considering your weakness i think you are vulnerable and more likely to go with your ex,damimg allthe consequences. i will be wrong and so are many others who have tried to call you names, if i also attempt to judge you on your vulnerability.

The facts are not very clear.the gap between you and your ex before your present marriage has not been fully explained by you. this would have made it easier to judge the personalty of your ex and to also brighten opinion as to his good nature and possibly good intentions this time around.

it is also glaring that your present marriage is not a rosy one, and the seeming issues in it has created loopholes which in your opinion your ex has come back to fill.In your opinion as well, your ex is like a messiah sent to clean your tears.well, it could be right or wrong.if it is the former, then he has come back to conclude the good work he started in your life. i don't have enough fact for an informed opinion on this.

The only thing that is very clear on this whole saga is that you a woman genuinely in love.

@ others:
i think is wrong to call this lady names.has feeling is genuine, her reaction is real and natural.the best we can is to advice and not mock her. so many have done much to help her and it makes me proud of this website.

On the philosophy of marriage, i think is rather wrong for anyone to think that the vow is so sacred without reservation. sure it is sacred, but i think that it's sacredness should be seen as a cross meant to be carried by two people. when one out the two faults in his/her duty to support the cross, the other must not carry it all alone forever.the cross must be allowed to fall after a while.

The posters marriage apparently is not a fulfilling one(for fear of calling it a failure), else the ex wouldn't have met a brick wall on his "second missionary journey in the poster's life". that he was totally accepted back is in itself an indictment on the so called existing marriage. what we should rather concern ourself is - is the missing link in this marriage reason enough for the poster to jump over and move on, or could things be put right.

This is why i have adviced counselling.

goodluck poster.

", I swaer she is too tight to be an african girl, "

@ poster : whatever u mean by the above, am quite ashamed on your behalf"

wrong! wrong!! wrong!!!. it all depends on the poster's intention. if he realy means concluding with the girl,then he should go on. at 16 she is already a woman. lets be real. 18 is only but legal age.

pls check link and make your comment.

the funky Reuben Abati is after all not in the old school.he rocked life as well. check out this link:

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/feb/13/100.html

the opinion is not actualy. i only posted the thread in response to a TV talkshow on the issue.

nuzo:
I believe that the dead should bury themselves, but if he has got money and feels like throwing some around; why not? After all, he's a typical Nigerian.

I wont be surprised to find out that he didn't take care of the dead woman while she was alive.

there is this view that Nigerian politicians have the culture of taking every opportunity to make a political statement. the high and the mighty gathered in Okorocha'scountry home for the burial and it was aired on a national TV.was he just burring his mother or looking for attention as he has always done.

like Osofia i call her "UTU M"

As Rochas Okorocha buries her mother the world is carried along. but does the politician in Rochas more active the decision to give to his mother such flamboyant and elegant burial.just thinking,

@ poster
if your partner is HIV positive, shoot him.but first be sure the gun has at least ten bullets.download all into his fucking brain so that he does not re-incarnate.then go jump into the lagooooooooooooooooooooon

@Poster
u bi big bingo

Pat Utomi any time any day is a pride to his generation. your emphasis on political party is a testimony of the major naughty issue in our political system. lets learn to focus on individual, i.e the candidate and not political party. i can assure you that Obama was more of a credit to his politcal party than his party was to him. he won the election more as Barak Obama than as Democratic Obama. we owe our nation a duty to rally around a pontentialy good leader than to wait to comment on his failure.

Dis Guy:
_{ahh at last I've been looking for this utomi discussion}

lol and which of those does PAT UTOMI belongs to?

to be honest, shouldnt pat Utomi be described as a political chancer
along with the likes of okorocha, okotie, jerry useni who just launch political
parties when elections are around the corner then fizzle out when its over?
Where is pat utomi's political party, where are his party members?
apart from pat Utomi how many other candidate did his party put out for elections
and where are they now?

If utomi had gone ahead to win how exactly would he have done anything considering
all the reps and senators were from opposition parties

are u sure u are not guilty of child abuse.she must be a minor and might be scared of geting pregnant through kiss.maybe that thing (sp) dey comot for your mouth

you are just about the luckiest guy alife. cherish what you have, it is gold

Nice thread. Too bad no chick is in that heart of mine at the moment. But my ex whom am yet to fully accept she is gone still deserves my good wishes. she was an asset to me but i realised this at very late hour when she had already concluded plans to move on with another fool.

Today, u still feel i treated you bad.while i regrate somethings i did, and would have done somethings differently if given another chance, but i still believe you got above 70% of me. i remember at some point you confessed to yourself in your personal diary that i was the best of all your dates.

Even as you hurt me dairly with the treatment am getting from you this days, i still want you to know that you are still my best. i have never stoped loving you my tomatoe (as i always called u).

maedan:
You're right, I think Nigeria needs a charismatic, down-to-earth young intellectual. The only question is, will he be given a chance, the way Obama was given, not only by his party, but by his country? No decent politician can survive in Nigeria's political climate, it's too polluted.

Thats the spirit, but trust me Obama did not have to wait be given a chance. He actual created the chance, and this he did working from the grassroot. Accepted the politics of our country s polluted but as Aristotle had rightly put it, to change a society you need to be an active member of that society.

i would rather think that it is not all about the form but the content, for fear of imodesty, i can not speak much about the man in the singlet. i can only tell you that inside the singlet you saw is a man with a mission who believes so much in content rather than packaging.

meanwhile, thanks a lot for the complement.

But pls address the issues.

For the ladies:between good education, wealth and gorgeous body, which would you prefer more in a man and why

if there was any doubt in my presidential ambition, it has finaly been alleyed. Now i believe i can become not just a president but a youthful president of Nigeria. OBAMA has successfully bullied the white skinned and the older generation of American politicians into submission. Fellow youths, please how do we takeover. If i can't be the candidate, then who can, what political party and how? let the calculation and strategy start today, here and now,

Is unfortunate, that human society has digenerated this low. If not for loss of values this poster would not have given this tought a  chance. I now vehemently believe in the view that "those who marry where they no not love will eventualy love where they do not marry"

I realy do not think you need our advice to decide on whether to conclude what you have started.if you need out but don't know how, kindly quit the job.  

i wish this poster the best of luck in her moment of decision.

it is a job you must do, and believe me only you can do it well. politely call him to order each time he blunders. don't leave it for a letter date. lets your correction be spontaneous, motherly and wifely. say for example : "now my love thats wrong, put it this way" or "no baby, is better said, "

if your attitude and approach is good, believe me you will begging to gain an edge in the relationship and involuntarily but very admirably your guy will begging to see you as a necessary support he needs to succeed not only in good grammar but generally.

Note also that if you blow it, he will find your incursion the height of humiliation.you will likely break his confidence and ego and his next thought might be keeping the distance.

be cautious my dear.

My dear, if this situation is real then is parthetic.But be rest assured that it is not entirely hopeless.No also that you are not alone on this route.Many suffer a lot more predicaments including myself.i wish you had told us his age, your own age and his nature of job.

My advice however is that you shealth your sword, as your plan is like a sword which at times injures the not intended including the sword owner. girls suffered the same faith in my hands and all fled when i continuously refused to repent.They very last one who ironicaly was the least in beauty, education and stature but in fact an angel in human form; patiently waited for me to come down from my high house and shower her with the love she truely deserved.

Her reselience or if you like patience and super love was all that changed my life today. I have come to understand that love is the center of our existence. Today i worship her like a goddess even though we are never going to make it to the alter for reason beyound our control.she changed my life for good simply with her attitude. she also had the right words.something the more beautiful, more educated and bigger girls before her had not. Today she is in school on my account. she was patient with me because she loved me truely. this is what love does So my dear if you truely love this guy, my advice is these:

- first sit him down and find out his intention for your union.be blunt and straight, but be calm, matured and loving in your approach
-make him understand why things cannot continue the way they are if he truely loves you and means well for your union
-from the genuiness of his answers you should be able to advice youself on whether patience is what you need or is time to flee without looking back.

I can assure you that the right appraoch, words and attitude could brake his insensitivity even more than undefined patience.Patience alone is not enough if your guy is a reluctant soil.

wish u well

i have a girl whom i have known for over 11 years now. All this years our relationship has not been stable. we have been in and out of it and for all these years has never been sexually engaged. Recently, we came together again with more commitment on my side to make something out us.But her attitude at time seems quite nauseating. She could be trusted in someway as just confirmed that my girl is truly a virgin even at 28yrs. But is this enough ground to ignore every other relavant issues in consideration for the choice of a wife.

when you consider all the troubles associated in the union of the opposite sexes, you will begin to wonder if this could not have been avoided if at creation both sexes had all the sexual organs individually. This even distribution of "nature's wealth" would have reduced the stress in sexual advances as all parties would have readily complied to each other's request and it would have been "do me i do you, "