₦airaland Forum

PretiEbony: Please do so dat u'll do this thing

Hahaha lolz...you dey advertise close-up(toothpaste)??

PretiEbony: Please do so dat u'll do this thing

Hahaha lolz...you dey advertise close-up(toothpaste)

Onyiclassic: LOLZ,NICE ONE POSTER

Tnks swity...

Hey!!!!Hey!!!!Hey!!!! No fighting on my thread *angry face* *picks up a stick to start flogging* ...oya arrange your nyansh let me get a good vantage point sharp. . . sharp. . .

Tnks to my lovers & kudos to my haters{you know yourselfs}

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "COMPLETE" & "FINISHED".
Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED, but there is.
* When you marry the right woman, you're COMPLETE & when you marry the wrong woman, you're FINISHED.
* When your right wife catches you with another woman, you're COMPLETELY FINISHED & when your wrong wife likes shopping so much, you're FINISHED COMPLETELY...
Do you agree with this statement??

caseless: Beta soup na moni kil am. I take GOD take beg u. I wan enta okada. I de die 4 d babe. God, na die i de. Dem don born pikin.

Awesome!!!

odizzy: dis once reminds me of my child hood. Hahaha nice one bro

Tnks dude

Witi: Got it all wrong. Bacelonia Unizik? DRY JOKE

Bros you no see the apology?? *begins to dance alanta*

bunmioguns: you are forgiven son, go nd sin no more. . . *pours coconut water with olive oil on his head*

HAHAHAHAHA...Lwkmd,bros dis one na sin

Take her to the sea; offer her a boat; take the boat to the middle of the sea. Then say to her: "marry me or leave my boat"

Abeg how can i close a thread?

Plzz i'm realy sorry about this,i just found out that it has been posted before,& my intention was just to share the stuff with u guys... Hope i'm forgiven??

* If i hear pim, u go hear weeen.
* Have dey brought light?
* Abeg dress back i won see road.
* I kukuma don't have your time
* The film is so sweet.
* See how her eye is entering my food
* Plz help me slow that fan small
* Have u paid your school fees money?
* Oya come & be going
* I'll tell my daddy for you
* Did you see the sound of my ringtone?
* I know you have come since bcus i hear your perfume.
* See as you baff up
* Mummy have cum back

If football were to be an academic institution in Nigeria then:
Arsenal would be UNIBEN- Where the students work hard throughout the year but fail to succeed.
Manchester City would be IGBINEDION- Where the students purchase all the expensive items and live large but are never interested in their primary assignment.
Liverpool would be UNILAG- Where the students are very much proud of the academic achievements of their grandfathers.(ancestors)
Manchester Utd would be UNIILORIN- Where students don't perform well in class except their final exams and achieve good results.
Chelsea would be OSU- Where students fail and put the blame on their VC after which the government will intervene to find a new VC for the school every year.
Real Madrid would be UI- Where students think they perform best and keep beefing the best students of other schools.
Finally Barcelona would be UNIZIK- Where students work hard,perform well in class and achieve the best result in the whole country...

shaybe baby: a hard man is good to find

nice 1 baby

tonyogie: always draw the snake out of its hole with another mans hand

hahahaha u too funny. . .

Eazy J: Fantastic jokes.Weldone @op.

Tnks hommie

realsammie: i will give u.30/100

aah ah haba dats too low na...

Hahaha...mutuwata

lilcutie8916: Dude ur jokes are so lame

DUDE!!! Honestly,are you mentally challenged??

Tnk u! Tnk u!! Tnk u!!! *blushed*

[quote author=Mynd_44]No wahala[/quote]heh!! there'll be real wahala oo

Two lions are lying under a tree... A rabbit runs by so fast that none of the two lions are able to react in time to catch it... One lion asks the other: what was that?!!!
Second lion replies: Fast Food!!
***
Musa was hired as a security in a company, as night approached,he felt sleepy,but didn't want to sleep,so he went around the yard{in an effort to escape d urge to sleep} & came to sit down... Unfortunately,he fell asleep till morning. When the boss came in d nxt morning,he looked at Musa for awhile. Instantly Musa opened one of his eyes,realised his boss was gazing at him, he immediately closed his eye again for 5 seconds and said, "AMEN"...
***
The doctor gave Akpors some tablets cus he was sick..
Akpors then starts cutting the sides of the tablets.
Doctor: why are you cutting them??
Akpors: To avoid side effects!!.
***
Girl to her boyfrnd Akpors... Very nice mobile! Where did u buy it?
Akpors: i won this in a running race.
Girl: WOWW,how many people participated?
Akpors: Well,it was really tough,people that participated are Mobile owner,POLICE & ME!!
***
A couple is driving down to a holiday destination. While on their way they get into an argument and stopped talking to each other,as they drove further,they pass a few pigs on a farm. The husband points to the pigs & says to his wife "are those relatives of yours?"
The wife promptly replies, "Yes- actually those are my inlaws!!"
***
Two mentally disturbed boys decided they must go to school.
They collectd old books & went to sit under a tree pretending it was a school.
The following day,one boy got there early & climbed the tree.
As the other boy came & saw his friend on top of the tree,he askd, "what are you doing up there?"
The friend replied; "I am now in high school{secondary school}"
***
A boss said to his new employee, "i'm giving you this job as a driver"
starting salary is $20k, is it Ok??
Akpors replied "Oga, you too much, 20k for just starting, "how much cum be the driving salary na?"
***
In a class the students were askd to tell their parents name:
student: My father's name is laughing & my mother's name is smiling...
Teacher: you must be kidding!!
Student: No ma'am; i'm joking!!
***
//please bear with me cus sum of the jokes might be old//THANKS!!!

hahahahahaha...*trouser tears*

[quote author=Mynd_44]Those are too much jorh. I will rather take the advice baba gave me[/quote]hahaha. .u're OYO oo

Quite true

In order to keep ur relationships goin actively,all u need do is follow d followin tips,please take ur time n go through them;
1. Do not cheat on ur lover
2. Do not lie if u notice the other party knows the real truth.
3. Keep communication open.
4. Stay young,sexy & sweet.
5. When u get hurt,focus on forgivin.
6. Never talk about break-ups.
7. Never say it's "OK" when it's "not".
8. If u say sorry,mean it. .
9. Don't compare ur past with ur present.
10. Don't talk about ur EX's.
11. Practice "give & take".
12. After fighting,work on resolving d issue right away;don't let it see the light of another day.
13. Seek for counseling when you need it.
14. Be ready to prove the love u have 4 sum1 (practicing what u preach).
15. Be creative in a relationship. . .don't do the same customary things,do something new that will keep ur relationship alive. . .
//Got it?!!!//

Write una own ma people. . .

1. Money cannot buy happines but it's more comfortable to cry in a mercedes than on a bicycle..
2. Forgive ur enemy but remember the bastards name..
3. Help sum1 when they're in trouble and they wil remember u when they're in trouble again..
4. Many are alive only becos it's illegal to shoot them..
5. Alcohol does nt solve any problem bt then again,neither does milk..
6. Don't steal...the government hates competition..

Adecement2: no 2 happy o...

y na?,i was just enjoyin d spotlight dat i was in.

Adecement2: since wen i join nairaland...Na only u i c say u get sense,n vicky,bt vicky dey switch!

tnks man...