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Jokes Etc / Re: Dani1luv Dis Is D Joke...npjc by Xymc1(m): 3:50pm On Oct 03, 2012 |
Nice but old |
Jokes Etc / Re: Breaking News From NTA!!! by Xymc1(m): 3:44pm On Oct 03, 2012 |
macricky: guy am an arsenal fanz so neva put wata inside kerosine u dy hear me so OBJ as our manager God4bid may di matteo z nt a gud coach chelsea wil b 9ice 4 Obj bt neva mind 9ice jokeHaha i hear u Laitesmart:Could you also expansiate pls Obinnau: my 2cents. Message is d ansaCan u expansiate on that Laitesmart: Obinnau: my 2cents. Message is d ansaCan u expansiate on that |
Jokes Etc / Re: Breaking News From NTA!!! by Xymc1(m): 6:27am On Oct 03, 2012 |
Two guys of about 26 years who were selling recharge cards by the road were always seeing an old woman passing by everyday going and coming from work. They were now wondering why the old GRANNY is till going to work walking very well, instead she should be enjoying her pension fee at home. One day they saw her passing by and decided to ask: Boy 1: ''sorry mom can I ask you?'' Old woman: ''sure you can ask'' Boy 1: ''what do you eat which keeps you strong & energetic like this at this age?'' Old woman: ''everyday before I go to work, I take 2 bottles of hot staff wine, 3 balls of marijuana then 2 teaspoons full of cocaine. Boy 2: ''wait! How old are you?'' Old woman: '' 25 ' |
Jokes Etc / Re: Breaking News From NTA!!! by Xymc1(m): 6:23am On Oct 03, 2012 |
Abeg, Please, you people should help me Solve this Riddle if you're a Genius. I'm a 7 Letter Words, You Read me daily, My 5, 6, 7th Letter increases every Year. 3rd and 4th Letter are the Same. My 3rd, 2nd and 5th Letter Covers 75% of the World. What am i?. |
Jokes Etc / Re: Breaking News From NTA!!! by Xymc1(m): 6:17am On Oct 03, 2012 |
Love letter by Onitsha big boy: Hello pretty damusel, I just wanted to let u know dat I hav joined the muvin people. Ndi na aga aga, (the happuning guys). I am Aguiyi international! Importa & Exporta. I ownu plenty of shop in Onitsha main market. As u are luking at me, nne a dim very solid. My containers come in 20s and 40s every weekly. I hav over 40 boys in my training. Aguiyi is a bigi boy, I am a muver, I am a shaker. I yamu a man of timber & plywood. I yamu rich and by d special grace of God, I am the owner of di biggest & powerfulu boutique u can think of. I employ one lady to managin it. I can call her wit my etisalat phone; give her query with my mtn; fire her with my glo; and hire another manger with my airtel. I wulu make you di CEO, president, and first lady of di conglomerate. All di streets in china are right here in my head and all di Nigerian boys dat load market in there are under me. As I yamu speaking to u now, they are making plan to crown me eze ndi igbo nile of china and by the special grace of God, you will be lolo ndi igbo nile of china. Nne you look like egg yolk and for dat, I will kill any ochicha for u. Nne, ego na esi isi na arum. I send money on errands. A dim ok! Is it my fault dat I yamu a bigi boy? Is it my fault dat at my age, I have many boys under me? Is it my fault dat I have plans of making u d president of d biggest boutique in Onitsha. I wulu repackage u nne m and present u to d world, pretty damusel. Nne m o! Oyoyo m, Egovin nwa! My yori yori! My african Queen, ashanti m! Nwa akworo aka muo! Igbu go m. Infact baby, take me. Your loving faithfully, Aguyi. |
Jokes Etc / Breaking News From NTA!!! by Xymc1(m): 6:15am On Oct 03, 2012 |
BREAKING NEWS: Okada killed two people inside trailler. Christiano Ronaldo impreginate Funke Akindele. Lil Wayne features Pasuma in his new single. Eyinmba won sign Messi dis January Baba suwe joined Illuminati, signed in by Jay z. Beyonce is in love with Terry G. Patience Egbele Jonathan won write JAMB. Primary school pupils don dey graduate at class primary 2. University and Poly students are now putting on school uniforms. Obama claims EDO STATE as his home town. New Arsenal manager is Chief Olusegun Obasanjo. Chris Brown wears agbada and slippers to the grammy awards. |
Jokes Etc / Re: PROJAN Independence Day Party... by Xymc1(m): 11:26pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
larride: oh boy, see enjoyment, dancing azonto, etigi and kukerelols U forgot Alanta |
Jokes Etc / PROJAN Independence Day Party... by Xymc1(m): 8:43pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
Emm ehem ehnm*clears throat* I am organising an Independence day party today,though the independence day was yesterday,the party couldn't hold yesterday because i the Social Director was kidnapped and brutally tortured by the members of a sect popularly known as NJPC. *tries to control outgoing tears* U guys should have seen how they tortured me. They did all this just to prevent me from organising this party becos they knew how Glorious it was gonna be *winks* but please a round of applause to our most reliable JOKO HARAM who came to my rescue and saved me from a certain deviation in my normal body functions(i.e broken bones,fractures,dislocations etc). Truly this our JOKO HARAMERS are completely reliable and efficient in carrying out their duties. But the plans of the NJPC were foiled and this party will stil hold tonight. Some of the artistes that wil be performin at the party are -Wiskid -Davido -M.I -J.Jags -Ice prince -ma man Brymo and so many others, U can't afford to miss it for anything on Earth. Time= 10pm till God say we should stop Venue=Shariton hotel,Abuja RSVP If not for the intervention of my Honourable President,i would have sued NJPC to court for kidnappin,assault and a whole list of other crimes *frowns at Suto boy* But as u all know,we the PROJANERS are friendly people so i hereby offer the NJPC an invitation to the Independence day Party as honourable guests,but surely i.e if they accept... *whispers to the JOKO HARAMERS to prepare the machine guns,grenades and all forms of explosives for you-know-what* Thank you for your time. LONG LIVE BUNMIOGUNS(our Presidooo)!! LONG LIVE HIS VICE!! LONG LIVE THE ENTIRE BOARD OF PROJAN!! LONG LIVE ME!! AND FINALLY LONG LIVE NAIRALAND(Seun)!! Hip hip hip hurrah!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Please Celebrate Me(nigeria AT 52) by Xymc1(m): 5:24pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
Jojo Armani: i dont like dis joke about nigeria. Say sometin nice about ur country.Ease up muahn its just a joke... |
Jokes Etc / Re: Please Celebrate Me(nigeria AT 52) by Xymc1(m): 5:20pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
Ubado: [color=#000099][/color][b][/b] hand of aplus to you. Congrates you've tried. Keep the talent up.Tnks dude |
Jokes Etc / Re: Happy Independence (projan) by Xymc1(m): 6:11am On Oct 02, 2012 |
Hahaha lwkmd the last one realy got me rolling on the floor |
Jokes Etc / Re: Please Celebrate Me(nigeria AT 52) by Xymc1(m): 6:06am On Oct 02, 2012 |
booqee: seconded!Lols. . . Using what he said once to defeat him hmmm nice one. |
Jokes Etc / Re: Please Celebrate Me(nigeria AT 52) by Xymc1(m): 6:05am On Oct 02, 2012 |
booqee: seconded!Lols. . . Using what he said once to defeat him hmmm nice one |
Jokes Etc / Re: Akpos' Independence Day by Xymc1(m): 9:26pm On Oct 01, 2012 |
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Jokes Etc / Re: Larride (PROJAN) by Xymc1(m): 11:53am On Oct 01, 2012 |
sutoboy:I didnt mean to post twice sincerely it was an honest mistake |
Jokes Etc / Re: THE ADVENTURES OF AKPORS Season 2 by Xymc1(m): 11:49am On Oct 01, 2012 |
nice... Keep it up |
Jokes Etc / Please Celebrate Me(nigeria AT 52) by Xymc1(m): 11:44am On Oct 01, 2012 |
HAPPY 52nd (IN) DEPENDENCE DAY…... I have enormous tracts of land and vast volumes of water, but cannot feed myself. So I spend $1 billion to import rice and another $2 billion on milk.I produce rice, but don‘t eat it. I have millions of cows but no milk. I am 52, please celebrate me. I drive the best cars in the world but have no roads, so I crush my best brains in the caverns, craters and crevasses they crash into daily. I am in unending mourning, please celebrate me. My school has no teacher and my classroom has no roof. I take lectures listening through windows and live with 15 others in one room. All my professors have gone abroad, and the rest are awaiting visas. I am a university graduate, but I am illiterate. I want a future, please celebrate me. Preventable diseases send me to hospitals without doctors, drugs or power supply. All the nurses have gone abroad and the rest are waiting to go also. I have the highest maternal and infant mortality rate in the world; and future generations are dying before me. I am hopeless, hapless and helpless, please celebrate me. For democracy‘s sake I stood all day on Election Day. But before I could ink my thumb, results had been broadcast. When I dared to speak out, silence was enthroned by bullets. My leaders are my oppressors, and my policemen are my terror. I am ruled by men in mufti, but I am not a democracy. I have no verve, no vote, no voice, please celebrate me. Pen-wielding bandits have raided everything in my vaults. They walk the land with haughty strides and fly the skies in private planes. They have looted the future of generations unborn; and have money they cannot spend in several lifetimes, but their brothers die of starvation. I want a kit of kindness, please celebrate me. I can produce anything, but I import everything. So my toothpick is made in China; my toothpaste is made in South Africa; my salt is made in Ghana; my butter is made in Ireland; my milk is made in Holland; my shoe is made in Italy; my vegetable oil is made in Malaysia*** my biscuit is made in Indonesia; my chocolate is made in Turkey and my table water made in France. My taste is far-flung and foreign, please celebrate me. I have genuine leather but choose to eat it. So I spend billions of dollars to import fake leather. I have four refineries, but prefer to import fuel, so I waste more billions to import petrol. I have no security in my country, but send troops to keep peace in another man‘s land. I have hundreds of dams, but no water. So I drink ‘pure‘ water that roils my innards. I need a vision, please celebrate me. I have a million candidates craving to enter universities, but my dungeons can only accommodate a tenth. I have no electric power, but choose to flare gas, so my people have learnt to see in the dark and stare at the glare of naked flares. I am shrouded by darkness, please celebrate me. For my golden jubilee, I shall spend 16 billion naira to bash around the bonfires of the banal. So what if the majority gaze at my possessed, frenzied dance; drenched in silent tears, as probity is enslaved in democracy‘s empty cellars? I am profligacy personified, please celebrate me. Why can I not simply reflect and ponder? Does my complexion cloud the colour of my character? Does my location limit the lengths of my liberty? Does the spirit of my conviction shackle my soul? Does my mien maim the mine of my mind? And is failure worth celebrating? I AM NIGERIA , PLEASE CELEBRATE ME |
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Jokes/conversations/pics by Xymc1(m): 8:27am On Oct 01, 2012 |
Nice collection,more groundnut oil to your shoulder!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Jokes/conversations/pics by Xymc1(m): 8:23am On Oct 01, 2012 |
nice collection,more groundnut oil to your shoulder!!
|
Jokes Etc / Re: Funny Jokes/conversations/pics by Xymc1(m): 8:21am On Oct 01, 2012 |
nice collection,more groundnut oil to your shoulder |
Jokes Etc / Writing On The Wall by Xymc1(m): 10:55pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
[color=]After suffering all manner of dirty writings in the hand of students, a block of classrooms has just been repainted & it's now glittering like gold. A student in the school,,Pikin got there & wrote on the wall:"God bless our principal for doing this good job, please no one should write on this wall!" Shola got there & wrote: "You're the first to write on this wall Pikin, I know your writing very well... Don't even try to come back here again, ok!" Biola wrote: "silly idiots, can't you both see that you're already messing up this wall? Nonsense!" Chuks also wrote: "Haba!, this is unfair & you guys all know the school must have spent a lot of money to get this place painted this way. Why? Why?? Why " ABOKI wrote: "Kai, Wallahi God i go funish all of una for writing yama yama on this wall like this..." John, their class teacher, got there & wrote: "I know y'all... Starting from you,Pikin, down to Aboki who wrote last on this wall, go to your classroom & REPORT on your knees immediately!" Sule, their Principal, got there & wrote: "Mr John, please report immediately to my office with all your students..." Among these Crazy People, Who is More Stupid Teacher??, Principal?? Students?? [/color] |
Jokes Etc / How To Know If Your Phone Is Original Or Fake by Xymc1(m): 8:48pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR PHONE IS FAKE OR ORIGINAL . REQUIREMENTS 1. Bowl/Sauce Pan 2. Water 3. SAMSVNG Phone PROCEDURE ~Put two glasses of water in the bowl/sauce pan ~drop the phone inside the water in the bowl . If the phone sinks, it's fake. If it floats, it's original 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / Re: Definition Of Some Nairalander's Names by Xymc1(m): 8:08pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
Xymc- Xtra yung emcee(rapper) Valiantvaliant- Cowardice Ben10- Always away Bunmioguns- great leader Larride- brave heart Vicky- luvly Booqee- Elegant etc |
Jokes Etc / Re: Larride (PROJAN) by Xymc1(m): 7:19pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
Gr8 1 Larride Kai!!! This Projan,we too much,abeg mek we clap for ourselves Pah Pah Pa pa pa PAH!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Larride (PROJAN) by Xymc1(m): 7:19pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
Kai!!! This Projan,we too much,abeg mek we clap for ourselves Pah Pah Pa pa pa PAH!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Swearing In Ceremony Of The New PROJAN Social Director. by Xymc1(m): 12:46pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
Thanks bro |
Jokes Etc / Re: EXCLUSIVE! NEW PROJAN EXECUTIVE MEMBERS. . .(NEW MEMBERS ARE WELCOME)!!!! by Xymc1(m): 12:42pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
UP PROJAN!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: Swearing In Ceremony Of The New PROJAN Social Director. by Xymc1(m): 10:04pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
I take it your the President,right?,plzz forgive my ignorance |
Jokes Etc / Swearing In Ceremony Of The New PROJAN Social Director. by Xymc1(m): 9:40pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
Please this is not a joke,just a ceremony,so please feel free to lay your wishes for my success as the new Social Director. *** You are all welcome to the swearing in ceremony of the new PROJAN Social director.. All friends,family,and well-wishers of the new social director( i.e me)were invited but no NJPC's allowed. Now without much ado,lets get to the matter at hand. I would like to crave your indulgence while i call the PROJAN President to this thread before the ceremony continues. But while we're waiting for him and the Vice-president,please help yourself at the bar...*invites some waiters to go round collectin orders* Please the President of PROJAN should please hurry up to this thread and when he arrives he should identify himself,ok |
Jokes Etc / Re: Auditions For 'the Adventures Of Akpors' Season 2 by Xymc1(m): 9:03pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
I audition to be Twale. This series is sure gonna rock. I enjoyed season 1 soooo much. Can't wait. . . . UP PROJAN!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: I Ask A Small To Cal My Husband by Xymc1(m): 2:26pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
No offence Chi,but is this a joke?? . . . Just curious |
Jokes Etc / Re: Hannas World Of Jokes by Xymc1(m): 12:46pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
Nice yokes. . . Me likey likey much |
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