₦airaland Forum

Nice yokes. . . Me likey likey much

Nice yokes. . . Me likey likey

Imagine me with a bomb strapped on ready to explode u al

Lmao. . . Meeeeehnnn dis is wondaful. . . Soo on point

What da hell is this supposed to be?? A JOKE

Isn't it strange
how N500 seem
like such a large
amount when we
give it as offering,
but such a small
amount when you
go shopping? Isn't
it strange how
2hrs seem so long
when you're at
place of worship,
and how short
they seem when
you're watching a
good movie? Isn't
it strange that you
can't find a word to
say when you're to
make supplications
to God, but you
have no trouble
thinking of what to
gist about with a
friend? Isn't it
strange how
difficult and boring
it is to read one
chapter of the
Scriptures, but how
easy it is to read
100 pages of a
popular novel or
magazine? Isn't it
strange how
everyone wants
front-row-ticke ts
to concerts, film
house or games,
but they do
whatever is
possible to sit at
the last row in the
holy gathering?
Isn't it strange
how everyone
wants a place in
Paradise, but they
don't want to
believe, do, or say
anything to get
there? Isn't it
strange how we
send jokes in e-
mails,
BBM,whatsapp, BC
and they are
forwarded right
away, but when
we are going to
send messages
about God, we
think about it
twice before we
share it with
others? IT'S
STRANGE ISN'T IT?
Now that you've
read this message,
forward it to
anybody that you
consider a friend.
lets beef up our
spiritual life cos its
very necessary.. I
believe this will
strengthen more
than a soul.

Lmao she is dead

I have another "da bomb" joke for you guys. But incase you don't know, Nepa has forsaken us in Gombe for the past three days and i don't have "i pass my neighbour"(generator)..
Because i love you guys i'm gonna use the last bar of charge on my fone (that is already screaming "BATTERY LOW")to give you guys this joke,as you listen may you be blessed.
***
One day Akpors was walking down an alley on his way back home from work,he saw a dark figure wriggling and wirring in the shadows. He decided to go closer to check it out for it might just be someone in need of urgent help,as he got closer to the figure *pyon!!! pyon!!! pyon!!! BATTERY EMPTY!! AUTOMATIC SHUTDOWN PROCESS INITIATED* Ye!! Ye!! Ye!! Epami oo. . . Chai oo battery empty ooo . . . As he got closer to the figure,he saw!! he saw!! * SHUTDOWN PROCESS COMPLETE* *BLACKOUT*

Tnks guys,I appreciate it
UP PROJAN!!!
UP JOKO HARAM!!!

A man came home
from work last
night and said to
his wife:: "I have
been given a huge
promotion at work
which means I get
my own office and
get to employ my
own private
secretary".
.
Wife "well please
find an ugly
Private secretary,
who doesn't have
a personal
hygiene, smelly
armpits and
dresses like an old
woman, I don't
want you choosing
someone who you
are going to be
tempted to have
an affair with".
.
"That's fair
enough " the man
replied "So when do
you wanna start?? "

Wow. . I've neva had dis much encouragin comments within a short time before. . .tnks 2 u all... I guess joinin PROJAN was a realy big step. . . As the Social Director of PROJAN i pledge my allegience to do my best in this section to make it a better place..

For a very long time, a guy had been battling with a leak in his roof.One night, there was a heavy downpour, he had to move from one corner of his room to the other to avoid drops from his roof. This made him to have a sleepless night. The next morning, he decided to fix the roof. After scouting for ladder in his neighbourhood, he tried to climb to the roof. Climbing wasn't easy, he panted and sweated but successfully climbed to the roof. As he was about to fix the damage, he heard a knock on his door. He yelled from the top of the roof; who is that?. A tattered looking beggar showed up at the ground and said; excuse me, can i see you?. The guy asked; what is it that you want to tell me?. The
beggar replied; just spare me a minute. The guy climbed back to the ground, looking tired and asked; what can i do for
you?. The beggar said; can you give me N20?. The guy thought for a while and said; follow me. The two of them started climbing to the roof, panting and gasping for breath. They both got to the top of the roof. After panting for one minute, the guy turned to the beggar and said; i don't have!.

Joke grading= C6
Remark= u try but small

Lwkmd. . . But i'm nt a fool ooo

The house girl is the murderer because children don't go to school on Sundays. . . So she couldnt have gone to pick the kids up from school

www.google.com.
ng>>> I did. . . I accept the position and responsibility. . .So when will my appointment letter be given to me.

Pls can anyone confirm this??

Cum see Chick swag because of Nigerian roads. . . Drop yours

would you mind
being our social
director?=== wow!! I don't mind but wat exactly does a social director do??

would you mind
being our social
director?=== wow!! I don't mind but wat exactly does a social director do?

Is there any free post in the PROJAN JOKO HARAM?? cus i want to join and i'm fully capable... Any post of authority:-x

Shollypopz: LMAO!! Dis reminds me of elementary school debate....

Hello Panel of judges,
My accurate time keeper,
My co-debaters,
and fellow Students

I'm here to support the motion which says Teachers are better than Doctors................

lol funny

Freiburger: My answer is Teachers, coz every doctor passed through a teacher.

Are u sure?. . . What about the founding fathers of medicine were they taught? No,they weren't,OK, how did the teacher get the knowledge of what to teach?
Answer: from books.
And who are those that discovered all those things written in the books
Answer: Doctors, through experiments. . . So i believe that Doctors existed even before teachers did.

Dem say boko
haram don poison
beans & i buy half
bag of bean
keep 4 house. From
de one way i
cook. I give my dog
bingo make e
first test am, wen i
see am say
45mins later bingo
still de walk i
come go start 2
chop my own, den
wen i don eat
finish my gate man
run come tell me
say bingo don
die. I run enter
kitchen de turn
gallon of oil 4 my
mouth, as i come
outside my gate
man tell me say
de driver way kill
bingo wan come
beg me...... If na u
wetin you go do
your gate man
Have ur Say..

A nigerian man called his mum from USA
Man: mum, i have AIDS
Mother: heeeee. . .chineke!!! Don't come back home ooo!!
Man: why mama,why now?
Mother: heeey you foolish boy!! You see, if you come back, then your wife wil be infected,from your wife to your brother, from your brother to our maid, from our maid to your daddy,from your daddy to my sister, from my sister to her husband, from her him to me,from me to the gardener, from the gardener to your sister, and if your sister gets AIDS heeeey, then the whole village is in trouble ooo!! So i'm begging you in the name of God
Pls save our village ooo!! Don't come back home oo

A woman beat her son for stealing. She asked him: "do you know where stealin would lead you?", the son replied "yes" surprised,the woman asked "where?" and the son replied "NATIONAL ASSEMBLY".

A MUST READ!
EMERGENCY
NUMBERS:
Emergency
numbers may
be dialed direct.
No operator
assistance is
necessary.
All lines are open to
heaven 24 hours a
day.
When you are in
danger,
call Psalm 46.
When God seems
far
away, call Psalm
139.
For peace and rest,
call
Matthew 11:25-30.
For keeping things
in
perspective, call
Psalm
91.
When the world
seems
bigger than God,
call
Psalm 90.
For Christian
assurance,
call Romans 8:1-30.
When you leave
home for
labor or travel, call
Psalm 121.
When your prayers
grow
narrow or selfish,
call Psalm 67.
If discouraged
about your
work, call Psalm
126.
When someone
fails you,
call Psalm 27.
When you want
courage
for a task, call
Joshua 1.
How to get along
with
others, call Romans
12.
If you are
depressed, call
Psalm 27.
If people seem
unkind,
call John 15.
For assurance of
salvation, call
Romans
10:13.
When your faith
needs
stirring, call
Hebrews
11.
When you are
lonely and
fearful, call Psalm
23.
When you feel
condemned, call
John 3:16
-
17.
When you grow
bitter
and critical, call
Corinthians 13.
For the secret to
happiness, call
Colossians
3:12-17.
Who has a friend
with
whom to share,
Has double cheer
and
one-half care.
For a Best Friend,
call
Psalm 9.
When in sorrow, call
John
14.
When you have
sinned,
call Psalm 51.
When you worry,
call
Matthew 6:10-34.
If your pocketbook
is
empty, call Psalm
37.
This are the phone
numbers to call
God.
Brethren, Please I
beg of
you, pass this
message round.
Copy and
paste it, share it,
call, email and text
it..
Have done my
part, it's
now your turn to
spread
the Gospel. God is
waiting for your
call.
Let this Gospel
reach
million people by
pressing "LIKE"
and
writing,"AMEN"
now.
DON'T IGNORE

A man was
polishing his new
car; his
4 yr old son picked
up a stone &
scratched on the
side of
the car. In anger,
the furious Man
took his child's
hand
& hit it many times,
not realizing he
was using a
wrench.
At the hospital, the
child lost all his
fingers due to
multiple fractures.
When the child
saw his
father....with
painful eyes he
asked 'Dad when
will my fingers
grow
back?' The man
was so hurt and
speechless.
He went back to
the car and kicked
it many times.
Devastated by his
own actions...
sitting in front of
the car
he looked at the
scratches, His son
had written
'LOVE YOU DAD'.
Next day that man
committed
suicide... Anger and
Love have no
limits...
Always
remember....."T
hings are to
be used and
people
are to be loved"
but the problem in
today's world
is....
"People are being
USED & Things
are being LOVED" .
God's Word to you:
"Keep your lives
free from the
loveof
money and be
content with what
you
have, because God
has said, 'Never will
i leave you
"

Not even 1 comment?? Hmmm this is so sad *starts weeping*

Lets do this debate, in your own opinion who contributes more to the society "DOCTORS or TEACHERS" You can either support or oppose the notion & plzz give convincing reasons. . . Countering or opponents points is allowed. . . Plzz & plzz lets make this lively,no dulling. . . Ok lets gooo!!!