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Yossarian's Posts

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Car Talk / Re: Help! Howling Noise When AC On by Yossarian: 4:19pm On Oct 02, 2020
jabolo:
Happens when AC is under load could mean the compressor is faulty or an even simpler matter of the AC drive belt slipping (if this applies to your model - sorry I’ve not checked.

Thanks for pitching in.

1 Like

Car Talk / Help! Howling Noise When AC On by Yossarian: 6:46pm On Oct 01, 2020
My good people,

I hear a terrible howling noise from under the hood whenever I turn on the AC. The noise goes away as soon as I turn the AC off, and there's no noise when I use only the fan. This happens whether I'm idling or in motion.

The car is a 2012 Corolla.

Any idea what the problem might be and how it can be fixed?
Romance / Re: Should I Marry My Boyfriend With This Behaviour? by Yossarian: 10:13pm On Aug 26, 2020
Saintmary:

You are being manipulated. You will fund this marriage, and when you have become old at 35, he will find a younger, richer, beautiful girl to leech on.
Take a break, then walk away.

Listen to this.

1 Like

Crime / Re: Ibrahium Asalailul "Small Japron" Is Dead - Cyberng by Yossarian: 8:22pm On Oct 18, 2018
BlackBaron:
Reading this thread since yesterday.
I hope the country can develop past this. Some children seem unaffected by their environment but others grow up and become menace to the society. The boy in the video though now rehabilitated by a Pastor scared daylights out of me for his future until he was helped out of that life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw1jMoPqimQ

This may well be the saddest thread I've come across on Nairaland. It is simply beyond imagining that there are people in this country for whom the cruel, brutal, sub-human existence described on this thread is a daily reality, from which only the luckiest escape.

2 Likes

Celebrities / Re: Meet Sholaye Jeremi, Biography, Net Worth, Linda Ikeji’s Baby Daddy, Husband by Yossarian: 10:46pm On Sep 20, 2018
Hedonini:


This is the funniest thing I've read this decade. But it is well. I'm not gonna say ANYTHING. The only lesson here is that one's past means nothing. And one's present means even less.

Everything depends on perception - packaging and presentation - to manipulate one's narrative and construct the image of you that the bland and timid public sees and believes.

There is hope.

For the sake of the few who are constantly foraging this wasteland of inanity for the nuggets of truth and profundity that posts like yours represent, I beg you in God's name, say something.
Politics / Re: Atiku Speaks On Decamping From PDP To APGA by Yossarian: 7:32pm On Aug 26, 2018
Fyzt:


In the past two months, Atiku Abubakar has moved across states in the country consulting with stakeholders of the PDP and explaining to them his agenda encapsulated in the acronym JOBS: Jobs, Opportunity, Being united and Security) for Nigeria. The nationwide consultations continues this week with visits to the South West, North West and North Central zones of the country.

Jobs, Opportunity, Being United and Security is not JOBS, it is JOBUS. That is an eerily accurate acronym, because that is precisely what Atiku is doing -- jobbing us.
Science/Technology / Re: Gabriel Obinna & Moses Ezeilegbunam Invent Generator That Runs Without Fuel, Gas by Yossarian: 12:07pm On Dec 11, 2017
python1:

You are right, when daft people talk, we know. The fuel inside the generator is a chemical energy converted to heat energy, then mechanical, and finally to electrical energy, no energy was created by the generator, it simply converted the chemical energy to electrical energy. (Energy conservation principle). Now, someone said he manufactured a generator that doesn't require energy input to generate electricity and you agreed, yet you call others "daft". Are you sure know what it means to be daft? Check your dictionary, then justifiably assess yourself, you will find out that you have just described yourself.

My goodness! What savagery is this? I am afraid I have to report this post.

1 Like 1 Share

Crime / Re: Nigerian Woman Killed Her American Husband To Claim His Insurance Money by Yossarian: 3:37pm On Jul 09, 2017
If the lady had invested her youth in reading Hadley Chase novels, she would not have had to learn from experience that this kind of thing never works.

4 Likes

Crime / Re: Christmas Chicken Thief Beaten, Stripped Unclad, Stolen Fowl Tied Round His Neck by Yossarian: 8:09am On Dec 27, 2016
amos407020:

When you lot open your pile holes to yap about judicial balderdash, it strangles the effort of trying to emancipate you lot from the paradise of delusion,ignorance and utopia you and your posse, brazenly wallow in. It's sickening to say the least; infact, it's a guillotine deserving ineffable display of inanity towards unequivocal realities.

Thank you, Amos, for contributing your views in such fine language. It makes your message clear and your bile impossible to miss.

Apparently you believe it is more pragmatic for frothing mobs of city people to dispense jungle justice than it is for them to devote the same fervour to demanding good governance, of which a dependable judicial system is only a part.

The point that you seem to be missing is that, not only is mob action by its nature excessively cruel and especially prone to error, but every time citizens turn violently on another who is accused of a crime, they accept and therefore perpetuate the State's abdication of its principal duty, that is the protection of lives and property.

And that is where education comes in. Any education worthy of the name would make the beneficiaries aware of the role of government in civilized society. The people would then be less disposed to venerating thieving politicians and brutalizing petty thieves. They would insist on good governance in the form of a formidable police force and a reliable justice system, so that they don't need to debase themselves and the rest of humanity as they do each time they do what they did to that poor young man.
Crime / Re: Christmas Chicken Thief Beaten, Stripped Unclad, Stolen Fowl Tied Round His Neck by Yossarian: 8:06pm On Dec 26, 2016
Polyestar:
Where are those feminists yelling "Perverts!" when the same punishment for fowl theft was meted to a girl? They won't speak out now?
Hypocrites!

It saddens me very much to see that there are persons who think the gender of the victim is significant when savagery of this kind is perpetrated. No living thing should be put through this nauseating spectacle.

Rather than call out the hypocrisy of those who hinge their outrage on the gender of the victim, you would be rendering a greater service in simply condemning the act itself.
Crime / Re: Christmas Chicken Thief Beaten, Stripped Unclad, Stolen Fowl Tied Round His Neck by Yossarian: 7:58pm On Dec 26, 2016
Barbaric displays of this kind serve to reinforce the fact that that the greatest wrong done to the Nigerian people by their leaders isn't the embezzlement of funds meant for security or infrastructure; it is the deliberate destruction of the education system. For a people educated into enlightenment would realize that life is better for everyone when justice is served, not by the impetuous fire of mob justice, but by the dispassionate, level-headed judgment of judicial institutions.
Religion / Re: How Come Atheists Are Celebrating Christmas? by Yossarian: 8:55pm On Dec 25, 2016
ireneony:
but the name is christmas though. .a Christian name at that.
Yes pegans celebrate Christmas but they believe in God but atheists on the other hand do not believe in God so why do they partake to celebrate anything that has to do with God in the first.

It seems that you read only the last paragraph. How about you take a look at the others now?
Romance / Re: UNFPA Distributes 53,000 Condoms In Calabar by Yossarian: 8:54pm On Dec 25, 2016
This is good. There is a pulsating sensuality to this town that is difficult to resist, and clearly the UNFPA understands that sometimes the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The gesture sends an urgent and unequivocal message: Especially in December, gift-wrap your member.
Religion / Re: How Come Atheists Are Celebrating Christmas? by Yossarian: 8:35pm On Dec 25, 2016
Hello Irene. What does it mean to celebrate Christmas? Would a person be celebrating Christmas if they invited a few friends over on this particular evening for a feast of food and intelligent conversation? What if they did it on a Tuesday night in August?

Christmas, like any other holiday, is little more than an opportunity to take a break from the daily grind, to rest and refresh body and mind in the way most agreeable to the individual. If anyone believes that their saviour was born on this night several thousand years ago, that is only a happy and harmless coincidence.

In fact, while many people eagerly anticipate these breaks and seize the opportunity for relaxation that they present, there are those who feel that holidays of any kind are a waste of productive hours that should be spent making wealth, and some of these people are Christians.

At any rate, it should not matter to you what atheists or anyone else does on Christmas Day, since in reality Christmas is really just a pagan festival, having nothing at all to do with the good Christ, who may well have been born sometime in July.

4 Likes

Crime / Re: Lady Who Stole Fowl In Cross River Paraded Unclad By Youths (Photos) by Yossarian: 10:09pm On Dec 24, 2016
kodded:
[s] will you say the same thing if she was a man ? undecided

It would make no difference at all if the victim were male, transgender, or a mountain gorilla. No living creature should be given that kind of treatment. The fact that it happens at all, and so frequently, only points to one thing; the failure of government. It is the duty of government to prevent crime, and failing that, to detect and punish the culprit. The government has failed in providing security, but it has also failed in education, which is why many people do not understand that what is called mob justice is not justice at all but ordinary savagery and perversion.
Crime / Re: Lady Who Stole Fowl In Cross River Paraded Unclad By Youths (Photos) by Yossarian: 6:23pm On Dec 24, 2016
stan241:
I guess if the male thieves are stripped unclad then same applies to the female folk, no one forced her to go steal.

I urge you, sir, to quit thinking in reactionary terms. Life would be much more meaningful for you and everyone else if you identify an ideal and fight for it. For example, instead of saying, "Let it be done to girls since it is done to boys," you might ask, "Should it be done to anyone at all?" or "What should have been done?"

Of all the kinds of punishment possible, parading a lady in the nude with the object of her offence strapped to her back is one that can only appeal to sick, pitiful, subhuman minds; people who depend on the misery and humiliation of others as a prop for their own self-esteem.

Apply this simple principle in your daily life, sir, and there might be hope for this country after all.

62 Likes 5 Shares

Crime / Re: Lady Who Stole Fowl In Cross River Paraded Unclad By Youths (Photos) by Yossarian: 6:10pm On Dec 24, 2016
I say close this thread and make it disappear. This woman has been humiliated enough. It would be a shame for Nairaland to take the side of her persecutors.

12 Likes

Religion / Re: Setting The Record Straight- Jehovah's Witnesses by Yossarian: 11:57am On Dec 13, 2016
I have a soft spot for Jehovah's Witnesses in general, but this may be because I am hopelessly in love with one in particular.

Nevertheless, much of my respect is well earned by the organization itself for its contributions to my mental development. My Book of Bible Stories was an early introduction to the beauty of the written word and the wonders of imagination, and the influence of Awake! in stimulating my mind was second only to the novels of James Hadley Chase.

I find Jehovah's Witnesses far more consistent in their faith than most, if not all Christian denominations. There is scarcely any tenet of their beliefs for which compelling evidence cannot be found in the bible; compelling, that is, for those who are compelled by scripture.

Jehovah's Witnesses have their institutional faults, but so does every other Christian denomination, and all of them share equally in an ultimate fault, in that Christianity and indeed religion in general is an obvious sham.
Religion / Re: Quotes Of Dying Atheists And God Haters by Yossarian: 11:39am On Dec 13, 2016
UyiIredi:
I don't believe this nonsense. And there are many examples of atheists who died peacefully. Tai Solarin for instance.

Many atheists died peacefully, of course. So many indeed that it has become commonplace. The real thrills are those who, confronted by death and the terror of eternal punishment, utilized the moment of their mortality to shoot one last witticism at God; not in bitterness, for that would be inconsistent with atheism, but purely for their own amusement, which is heightened all the more by the horror of pious witnesses.

One example is that dying man who was urged by a troubled priest to renounce the devil, to which he responded, "This is no time to be making new enemies."
Politics / Re: I Have Not Received Any Salary In 6 Years- Rauf Aregbesola by Yossarian: 11:13am On Dec 13, 2016
You would have to be an idiet to believe such an idiet.

1 Like

Politics / Re: Senate Cuts Down President’s Control Of Nigeria Police Force by Yossarian: 10:35am On Dec 13, 2016
CFCman:

My brother, the constitution is one of the most contradictory of any country in the world; and that's not the only contradictory provision.
Section 4 of the same 1999 constitution virtually grants the presidency law-making powers! How absurd is that.
lezz:
The 1999 constitution is just the same as the inherited military Decrees. They just called it a constitution by 1999 and added some pronouncement here and some governing structure there.

This is a very common misapprehension. There is very little wrong with the Constitution; there is everything wrong with the people in government. I challenge you to present a clause in our Constitution that an honest man cannot put to good use.

Indeed the Nigerian situation is due entirely to the lawlessness of leaders, in that they think and conduct themselves as if they're above all our laws, including the Constitution.

It is only recently, since 2003 or so, that laws were made for no other purpose than the gratification of the political class. Most, if not all, of our laws made before then had sound practical applications, especially as those laws were borrowed wholesale from the countries of this world that take laws seriously.

Nigeria is a victim of its leaders, not its laws.
Politics / Re: Senate Cuts Down President’s Control Of Nigeria Police Force by Yossarian: 9:38am On Dec 13, 2016
The amendment is a sound one in principle. The position of the governor as Chief Executive enables him to know the state in ways that must elude the FG, which is perched far off in the center. It is in fact for this reason that a governor is constitutionally acknowledged as the chief security officer of a state, a title that is mostly meaningless at present. So, yes, the amendment is sound in principle, because it will allow governors respond to local security needs with greater speed and effectiveness.

However, we in Nigeria know that with the current political class there is no escaping the abuse of power. The only question is whether one prefers to be oppressed by a governor or by the President.
Poems For Review / Re: And We Call It Poetry by Yossarian: 5:13pm On Dec 12, 2016
forandy:
With poetry--

A lonely woman
can write about her lover
on valentine's day.
She can describe his most endearing traits
line upon line upon line--
as if...he existed.

Hello Forandy. I like this verse. It draws a pretty good emotional response as a short, stand-alone poem. If it had appeared anywhere but at the top of your rather lengthy effort I would probably have never gotten to it. This is because I find the rest of the poem quite flat. Large portions read like an ordinary speech, without any of the movement and music of poetry. I would like to see you try your hand on more one-piece poems like the above. I'm sure you could make more in that mold if you put your mind to it.

1 Like

Religion / Re: The Mysteries Of The Kolanut & The Creation Of The Kolanut Revealed by Yossarian: 3:47pm On Dec 12, 2016
Hello Babalawo. This is a very interesting narrative indeed, and well-written too. At last we have a satisfactory explanation as to how that extraordinary fruit acquired its spiritual properties. In order to expand our knowledge of this esoteric subject, I should like to pose a few questions in addition to those PastorAIO has raised.

In many areas the kolanut is chewed with accompaniment in the form of a thick, oily paste made from groundnuts. While the kola is a princely snack by itself, it is imbued with a truly divine flavour when combined with the paste I just described. I wonder, is that sweet paste the product of a recipe handed down by the gods themselves for our benefit? Or did they intend for kolanuts to be consumed alone, as a mark of respect?
Foreign Affairs / Re: Hilarious Cameroonian Memes Mocking Minister's Handshake With President Biya. by Yossarian: 2:00pm On Dec 12, 2016
LadyAnn:


Omg!!! shocked I can't believe you said that. That is mean on soooo many levels. Those are my people ohh! I spent 5 yeArs of my life in cameroon and found the people to be warm, generous to a fault, very friendly. The women were exceptionally beautiful and the men handsome.

Hello LadyAnn. If you go over my post again, you will see that there is no disagreement between us. I don't doubt that you found many Camerounians who were congenial and charitable, and I'm not at all surprised that many were in fact goodlooking. People often make broad and unflattering generalizations based on their flawed knowledge of a sample population and so force unique individuals into cramped stereotypes. My post merely satirizes that practice.
Foreign Affairs / Re: Hilarious Cameroonian Memes Mocking Minister's Handshake With President Biya. by Yossarian: 12:11pm On Dec 12, 2016
Who would have thought that Camerounians had a sense of humour? That country tends to command visions of mean, unsmiling people, all of them as belligerent as they are ugly. The pool of creative genius represented in these absolutely hilarious caricatures tell us that there are people in Cameroun capable of making and enjoying humour as much as anyone, and it proves to us beyond all doubt that one should never judge any nation by its football team.

3 Likes 1 Share

Properties / Re: Niger-nigeria Pipeline: Katsina Landowners Set To Make A Killing by Yossarian: 8:38am On Dec 12, 2016
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