What is ur opinion over this issue? As a single mother when will i tell my husband to be that i am a single mother lets say he dont know me very well bc if anybody tells u that i am, u will not believe.

The best thing is to tell him from the beginning. A man who will love you should love you along with ur child. No compromise.

I knw dis quite off-topic, bt hello evry1 I'm new here n wud like to create a topic, bt seems I cnt. Can any1 giv d technical knw-how? Tnx

Tell him all about your past once you are sure of your love for him and his love for you. Before you both get too attached to eachoda all cards as to be laid. All the best...

Is it the man that was on your neck for seex, the one that gave you stoopid ultimatum or you've got another man already?
I think you really need a self assessment and evaluation.

Tel him on his sick bed, d shock wil heal him...what a miracle

tobechi74: Tel him on his sick bed, d shock wil heal him...what a miracle

Hahah...LOL....

Thats will Upgrade the sickness

@op please don't tell him immediately ok. Go a little bit far with him like a week or two. Let him develop love /know your worth/cherish your character first b4 you let him know. If he has seen those things he wants in a woman in you, it will be hard for him to leave you. Don't force yourself on him. Let him know that what you are trying to tell him that day will either separate you guys or keep you guys, but anyone that happens life goes on. Most important thing if you really want him to be with you, let him know that you have only him and you don't double date, I hope guys don't call you on phone always. Most men can die for a faithful woman be you single mother or single. Men, even the highest play boy don't wanna share his woman with anyone. Make him develop that trust in you and don't let him take advantage of you. Most men values you most when you don't give it to them easily and give them stress b4 the have it. I am talking out of experience. Just do it this, you see him licking your feet. Cheers!

[quote author=ifyalways]Is it the man that was on your neck for seex, the one that gave you stoopid ultimatum or you've got another man already?
I think you really need a self assessment and evaluation.
Is not him but sb met me in my office on Wednesday and he is so inquisitive nd desperate about my past

[quote author=BabyGeneral][/quote]

babe nawa for u oo, some guy meet u in ur office on wednesday and today is saturday. Is that y u think him as a husband Cos ur initial post says wen shouls u tell ur husband Has dis man dat meet u in ur office on wednesday proposed to u?? Y are u gettin urself worked up and presenting urself as desperate

You met him on Wednesday and today is what? Saturday
I hope you've not fallen in love with him already?
Babe, you need to throw your hair back, relax and take things easy.
Where is CC and Jenny biko? This babe needs some soft kisses and hard knocks.

Being a single mama is not a disease .....its a blessing
Any man who I accept is lucky to have me
I am Enough !

Recite this mantra / affirmation 3 times when you wake up and last thing at night for 30 days and start to see yourself as being Enough, believe it and never let yourself put yourself down.

The issue here is not with any man but within you...your self esteem needs some topping up....You seem like a really nice lady and many men are looking for a woman like yourself plus you are beautiful inside out, admit that to yourself.....your child is a blessing from God. My dad married my mum a widow with 4 litte kids so its not your kid that is the wahala ...its your self esteem and belief.

Yp. Is too early but it depends on the guy. Most guys can see part of what they want in a lady first via appearance/ how the lady communicated with him and wanna go deep with her thereby asking about her past@ op how you address your past matters a lot. Don't talk too much on that with him. He has his past and everybody has past too which they can't address all. I saw your post which you said you took in, in your Jss 3. Most guys will like so @ Jss 3 you have started bleeping. Its too early for a woman. That's by the way. You can say you took in around SS2 and you don't wanna do abortion. Make it sound good to his hearing. He must ask you about her dad and why he doesn't wanna marry you. You know what to say. Address your past in a responsible way. I'm talking to you as a sister/friend b/c nobody here in N/L will marry you. You play your part well and settle down with your man. Please you don't look desperate in the guys eye. Even if he talks about marriage, tell him you don't know anything about him. Let him wait if its God's will let it be done. Don't open your mouth and say anything about marriage where you guys are.

BabyGeneral: What is ur opinion over this issue? As a single mother when will i tell my husband to be that i am a single mother lets say he dont know me very well bc if anybody tells u that i am, u will not believe.

Tell him asap. Infact make sure your kid is there with you whenever and always. Actions speak louder than words. He needs to understand that you and your child come together as a package, so the sooner, the better.

Abi you're one of those mums who'll do anything to grab a man, even hiding away their kid? You have nothing to be ashamed of. So hold your head high and if the man is worth his salt and you're made for each other, then it'll work out.

^^^I agree. Tell him on your first date if he starts asking you questions about yourself. A man that is yours will stay, you don't have to lie to keep a man.

SECOND OFF IF I KNEW OF A WAY TO TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM YOU AND GIVE HER TO SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE HER AND MAKE HER, HER NO1 PRIORITY, I WOULD HAVE THE VERY FIRST DAY I SAW YOUR POST. WHY ARE YOU PASSING THE MESSAGE ACROSS TO US NIGERIANS THAT HAVING THAT GIRL WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU EVER MADE IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE HER YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED BY NOW. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL FOR CHOOSING A HUSBAND OVER YOUR DAUGHTER.

tobechi74: Tel him on his sick bed, d shock wil heal him...what a miracle

lmaooo....*Wicked*

ifyalways: Is it the man that was on your neck for seex, the one that gave you stoopid ultimatum or you've got another man already?
I think you really need a self assessment and evaluation.

Am so sure its still d same guy, probably she wana give him a chance...bt d question is, have she done it?? All i know is she deserves som1 better.

[quote author=BabyGeneral][/quote]
oh really? So this is another guy?? Am not here to judge or condemn u bt to tell u d truth. U need to learn from ur past! All guys got sweet mouth of Marriage nd stuffs its just a way of getting u laid, just get ur head straight nd stop dis husband ish! Have u thought abt ursef for sometime now?? Have u thought abt things that are best for u?? Have u thought abt ow to improve ur self-esteem nd ur ways of life? Have u thought abt things that wud take u to d next level?? Have u thought abt how to achieve greater things by urself?? You ve got a child right? Why not start thinking of how to give dat child d best by working verry hard in achieveing so many things nd stop thinking abt boyfrds or watsoever! Any gal who can stand on her own, achieve so many things on her own, wud b respected by guys nd wudnt need to rush into marriage or get desperate abt marriage. If u rush in, u will rush out...get ur goals first nd guys wud b desperate to be wid u either wid a child or not!

@ Op tell him but,try and knw him better..do not be in a hurry

This is ridiculous!
OP meets this dude on Wednesday and by Saturday morning, she'd already upgraded him to 'husband to be'. If I were that dude, i'll run. Your desperation is chocking me a neutral entity already

@poster I am a small boy o but I live here in nigeria. Some of the people advising you have been abroad now for age's which explains the tone of their responses.
The truth is that the fact that you have a child out of wedlock has already reduced genuine and I repeat genuine proposals by 80percent .
Yeah 80 percent I said. You don't need anybody to give you a motivational speech now. What you need is a reality check. Understand where you are and what options are available to you.
Sad as it sounds, you will not command the same desirability like you would if you were not with a child.
Therefore, your best bet now is to weigh in on your strengths. Like
-belonging and becoming committed in church.
-working on your looks, hygiene and finances.
- stop thinking too much about marriage but learn a skill thats makes people attracted to you like playing a musical instrument.
-quit the fast life like clubbing and all cos the kind of men you will meet at this places are not marriage thinking.
-pray about it.
The reality is that single gals are also finding it difficult pinning men down this days in nigeria and the fact that 30yrs being the bench mark is not helping matters for them either.
Unless you intend travelling out, do not expect to meet a naija man that will view you like a single lady easily.
I belive you can still get things worked out if you remove the obvious anxiety and probably get a good grip on your complex.
The irony is that a man can always spot a desperate woman a mile away so tru hard to stop worrying and pestering the guys with unnecessary innuendos.
I hope my suggestion helped cos it's not really coherent. I just dropped this in a jiffy but I hope you catch my drift.
I wish you all the best and pray you get your own man.

Guitarlife: @poster I am a small boy o but I live here in nigeria. Some of the people advising you have been abroad now for age's which explains the tone of their responses.
The truth is that the fact that you have a child out of wedlock has already reduced genuine and I repeat genuine proposals by 80percent .
Yeah 80 percent I said. You don't need anybody to give you a motivational speech now. What you need is a reality check. Understand where you are and what options are available to you.
Sad as it sounds, you will not command the same desirability like you would if you were not with a child.
Therefore, your best bet now is to weigh in on your strengths. Like
-belonging and becoming committed in church.
-working on your looks, hygiene and finances.
- stop thinking too much about marriage but learn a skill thats makes people attracted to you like playing a musical instrument.
-quit the fast life like clubbing and all cos the kind of men you will meet at this places are not marriage thinking.
-pray about it.
The reality is that single gals are also finding it difficult pinning men down this days in nigeria and the fact that 30yrs being the bench mark is not helping matters for them either.
Unless you intend travelling out, do not expect to meet a naija man that will view you like a single lady easily.
I belive you can still get things worked out if you remove the obvious anxiety and probably get a good grip on your complex.
The irony is that a man can always spot a desperate woman a mile away so tru hard to stop worrying and pestering the guys with unnecessary innuendos.
I hope my suggestion helped cos it's not really coherent. I just dropped this in a jiffy but I hope you catch my drift.
I wish you all the best and pray you get your own man.

listen to d small boy

poster first of all no man u met on wednesday should have any title such as husband to be - i mean is he even a friend. second u have to tell him from day one, if he wants you he has to accept everything about you so hiding the fact you have a child not really a smart move. Please cool down in ur quest for a relationship it will come when you least expect it, trust me i know

as for the person who said ur value has dropped by 80%, I laugh in german. this is 2012 abeg - some of us have even found better than what we had before so I don't know what kind of value is dropping.

i was just about to reply on this thread, but then saw the reply from the OP that she met the guy on Wednesday (but yet wrote "future husband" on her original post), so she must DEFINITELY be joking........come on now!!!!

ROTFLMAO. I just read ify and CC's post.

@Cc
You know I don't do kisses naaa

cotton101: poster first of all no man u met on wednesday should have any title such as husband to be - i mean is he even a friend. second u have to tell him from day one, if he wants you he has to accept everything about you so hiding the fact you have a child not really a smart move. Please cool down in ur quest for a relationship it will come when you least expect it, trust me i know

as for the person who said ur value has dropped by 80%, I laugh in german. this is 2012 abeg - some of us have even found better than what we had before so I don't know what kind of value is dropping.

aaaarrrrrrggggghhhh!! Honey, why should I have to spell it out for you whhhyyy
I said 'genuine proposals' I never said her value has dropped. Why should her value drop ?
But genuine proposals ? Yeah , cos for 80 percent of guys the fact that she has a baby is a turn off. Lets be real here.
If you had proposals from two men who are tied in everything like career, looks, finance and what have you. The you suddenly realised one had a baby somewhere.
Tell me the scale has not already been tilted in the other mans favour. We should learn to tell peeps the truth even if we wanted to encourage them.
Her value is still intact but her perception by a larger percentage of the populace has dwindled seriously and that my dear is a fact.
So all you teens reading this learn to keep your legs shut or atleast till you are convinced this is the type of challenges you wanna be facing.
If she had no child outside of wedlock she wouldn't be here whinning and you know it.
She already said on some other thread that eons of men have taken flight when they heard she had a child so, what other proof do you need ?
Oh, I forgot its ok to serenade and sensationalise in the name of advice huh ? Aaaannnnnsssswwweeerrrr mmmeeee !!!?!!

@Guitarlife: how does the long epistles you took time to write answer the question below?

BabyGeneral: What is ur opinion over this issue? As a single mother when will i tell my husband to be that i am a single mother lets say he dont know me very well bc if anybody tells u that i am, u will not believe.

Odunnu: @Guitarlife: how does the long epistles you took time to write answer the question below?

oh yeah sweetheart, I suppose it is pretty obvious I don't have the answer to her petulant question.
Infact, I am of the opinion that her question is wholly unnecessary. The grim prospect of such a grown arse woman living in wonderland for much longer ignited the fire of compassion in me.
Hence, the unnecessary rigmarole of having to write such epistlelistic analysis.
*drum roll*
In conclusion but rather needless to say, I have done humanity a whole lot of good and I think it couldn't have come at a much better time than now when the world is sorely lacking the ingenuity and input of men of timbre and calibre like my humble self.
*packs up his scrolls* Thank you all for your undivided attention .* bows * (applause till fade)
WATCH OUT FOR PART II featuring - jim iyke
- emeka ike
- sola shobowale
- baba suwe . . . . . .

*SMH*

Met a man on wednesday and by Friday he has become a husband to be? Seriously though it is either you are playing us on this forum with your Mumbo jumbo stories, you know what? Scratch that, you are really a psychotic good for nothing worthless piece of thrash. A cheap hoe you are A disgrace to womanhood. How mentally fit are you to train that child you have? May men Continue to use and dump you as they so wish. Very soon you will start standing on the streets calling customers. Ode, what is the difference between you and those that charge men 100naira per night? Ash3wo kobo kobo

Cow

^^^ WTF ? I'll be right back. I'm knocked out now. Some one please call 911. Nah, this is way below the belt. Some body hhheeeelllppppp!!!