Sadly the mentality of most of our women is that,my money is mine,while your money is ours.
A man who has a job is expected to provide for his family,whether the wife works or not.However if the man falls on hard times the woman should be able to support him till he is back on his feet,unfortunately it is seldom so. If a man loses his job and can ot provide,most women tend to become grouchy and rude towards their husbands instead of being supportive.
Now if the tables were turned and the wife loses her job would women like it if the husband insulted you at every point because you are jobless?
Marriage should be a supportive venture between the man and woman. If a man is jobless,the wife is meant to support him and vice versa.
A man who has a job and refuses to provide is irresponsible to his duty,on the other hand a wife who puts her feet up and refuses to help her man when he is down is equally irresponsible.

I remember those days we did social studies in pry sch,'family'...d man/husband is d head of d house they say...he provides 4d family,n d woman takes care of d home/kids yl he's away either @work or...(God knws whr).its thr even in d bible,(though i aint a scholar...)dat wen a man alows his woman tak up his duty,he takes curse upon himself...as a man,n u'r able 2gv ur wife/family,be greatful 2God...so u can earn ur respect even b4 ur children!and in d aspect of women keepin their money,thats nt entirely true...they gv the kids those smal irrelevant tins u tink they cant av...she somtyms buy her undies,wen u feel u'v spent so much u dnt v2 gv her...(e do abeg)

^^^WTF? Can't you people type in plain English anymore? What on earth is this silly text messaging English for? Is this why our parents sent us to school? To type like kids? And we scream blue murder when JAMB refuses us pass to the university. Do we blame them? If people write or type like these why on earth do they deserve a university degree?

Onim's:
I remember those days we did social studies in pry sch,'family'...d man/husband is d head of d house they say...he provides 4d family,n d woman takes care of d home/kids yl he's away either @work or...(God knws whr).its thr even in d bible,(though i aint a scholar...)dat wen a man alows his woman tak up his duty,he takes curse upon himself...as a man,n u'r able 2gv ur wife/family,be greatful 2God...so u can earn ur respect even b4 ur children!and in d aspect of women keepin their money,thats nt entirely true...they gv the kids those smal irrelevant tins u tink they cant av...she somtyms buy her undies,wen u feel u'v spent so much u dnt v2 gv her...(e do abeg)

so what of women that earn as much as their husband, what should they do with their money?

an educated man should provide accommodation, pay school fees, provide feeding, buy car(s) for the family use, pay bills (phcn, fuel gen, cable subscription), health care, etc, while his wife who is equally educated should use her money to do what- buy undies?

so the husband does not wear undies too, who whould buy for him and the children

maybe you did not read what Proverb 30 says of a virtuous woman.

also the apostle Paul says that a wife should submit herself to her husband as onto the Lord, does'nt that tell you that she should also submit her earnings for use in the family also, all these lyrics of your money is my money and my money is my money would grind a family to the ground, because a home is not built on selfishness

Wait oh was he not footing the food bill when u two got married or he just woke up one morning and stopped or was there change in circumstance? there is more to this story than it meets the eye
I think in this present age footing the food bill is not just a man's job alone
Gone are the days women wait for their husbands to drop food money biko

PS: U'all wanna turn Dayokanu into 2nd sagamite abi, plsss we have not been able to get rid of number one sagamite so we don't need another yet

Tgirl4real: I don't even know the title to give this.

Sincerely, my intention is not to diss this man o cos I know what our economy says now, and boys even men are not smiling.

But, what do you say to a man that hasn't been dropping money and expects to eat good food?

I don't mean to be rude....but, I see this as irresponsible.


I still don't understand how some of our men reason

1 will like to see it in a different way like- NIGERIANS expecting everything GOOD from the country even with CORRUPTION, GREED, INJUSTICE and other vices within her territory.

For once dayokanu is right. Nigerian women are all like this. No matter the good intentions at the start of the issue as time passes the issue of "drop chop money" must bring forth the witch in them.

dayokanu: Knowing what most naija women are It wont be a surprise that maybe things just took a downward turn for the husband two months ago and the wife started throwing tantrums

I have a friend whose wife would complain how lazy he is, That she was the one paying all the bills for the past 4 yrs of marriage.

When both the man and the wife were called it was discovered that the man lost his bank Job in December and by March the wife was already screaming to the high heavens that he is irresponsible even in the presence of family, kids and neighbours.

The woman obviously couldnt deny it cos the man brought his bank statements out to show his expenses on the house for 4yrs before his job loss.

The man revealed the kind of humiliation meted out to him in the last 2 months by his wife who enjoyed his own money when he was working.

Whenever that guys gets another job or comes into money. lets see how he would act and Maybe the wife would come on Nl to post how wicked her Husband is

vizion:

so what should a woman do with her money

maybe she wants to use her money for menstruation. .
#did I just say that? wondering*

A woman that marries a man a jobless man must be another Esther cos her faith in a better tomorrow is unwavering,but she needs to back it up with serious Prayer and Patience cos she has to accept whatever she sees.

Efemena_xy:

And what if the guy has got a job and the means to provide the basic needs for the family, but chooses to spend it outside / on girlfriends?

How d'you know he isn't saving up to get a second wife so he can ditch the first one, because suddenly, she looks "old" to him?

What if the wife's decided not to "drag" trousers with him, so he should fulfil his role as the Alpha and Omega, the sole provider and head of the home?

Honestly, sometimes you guys are hard to fathom. If a woman works her fingers to the bone, pregnancy or not, serves the man his dinner whilst kneeling on the floor, he won't be satisfied. He'll find faults because she placed the knife/fork/spoon/cup in the wrong geographical position.

If she chooses to let him run the ship i.e be the sole provider, he'll complain that she's lazy, non supportive, etc.

If he goes to the toilet and she wipes his a$$ for him, then flushes the toilet after he's done, he'll still complain that she used toilet rolls instead of baby soft wipes on his bum!

Honestly, WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT SEF??

Thank you Davidylan..
They forget that most men,all in the bid to be the "almighty" husband order their wives to stay home and breed and look after the home actually turn their wives to pennyless house wives. Forgeting that those days will come when there won't be money.
A guy whose wife doesn't have a means of livelyhood doesn't expect manna to fall from heaven if he doesn't drop "chop" money..

Well, my cousin's dad was like this, he only dropped money when he wanted to eat something special. He worked in govt, and his wife was a teacher, yet even down to school-fees and household bills, he would divide it in half and tell his wife to pay her share, even when they seized his wife's salary for months. She would pay all the bills, support her kids and feed them, then the man would bring bushmeat home and tell her to prepare soup for him and woe betide the person who finished the soup except him, then off he'd go to have beer with awon boys. Once when teachers were on strike, he refused to pay for my cousin's schoolfees, because he said their mum had not contributed their share, so her friends chipped in and paid for her. My cousin's mum said he had been that stingy from the get-go and made her pay for half their wedding, but she was too blinded by love to see what he was.

I don't think 70% of the marriages I see now make any sense. I've lived with my brother, he dropped house-keeping money and paid the bills. I made sure the money lasted for a month and anything else I wanted to eat, I bought myself. It trained me to learn housekeeping, and fending for my family and I still saved money on a low income (yet my family is wealthy). Those are the traits one should look for in a wife: a woman who loves you and when the chips are down, will buckle up and support you, and you do the same. A woman that if you said you wanted to leave your oil-coy job and become a teacher, she'll hala, but when you tell her it's because of stress, she'll help you look for a less-stressful job and tell you "we'll manage till you get back on your feet". There are ladies like that, but guys don't wife them, they're not "exciting" or they're not aggressive and men stupidly assume that because she's quiet, she's a dodoyo.

Imagine if I chase one so-called "made boy" or one idiot who is attracted to me for all the wrong reasons, marries me, then we fight. Na that day we go see our true colours. All this disgracing of man in their marriage by wife, let the man be honest, there was one very sweet girl that played mugu for him and loved him die when he was single, but he rejected her because she's not "fine, exciting, hawt, does not bleeps well, he is bored, she is not his status, she's too emotional, there's a younger hawter chick around the corner, she no fit his swag, he just wanted to chop her punny and clean mouth" or another daft reason I continually see on the Romance section. Not pausing to think ONCE that this girl is supporting him so well he cannot even see it. They now dumped her and happily went for the sugar that will run their belle. Then 5 years later, they come to the Family section with opened eyes. That train is never late.

Mschewwwwwww.

Sorry for the name mix up folks

Na wah oh. Some men no get shame for body at all. Let's assume this topic is based on the fact that the man isn't so financially well to do at this time. It's one thing to eat whatever one's wife cooks using her meagre resources in hard times without complaints, and it is another thing to "expect" good food when you did not provide resources for that. As the old saying does, 'soup wey sweet, na money kill am'.
Assuming the wife has a good source of income, which means she is indeed capable of providing 'good food' (which I guess means food garnished with all the okporoko, chicken laps, snail etc), it is still quite silly for the man, to EXPECT such good food. He should allow the wife to use her 'church mind' to do what her conscience directs her to do. If the good food comes, fine - he sould be thankful for having a good wife, and should of course take that into account when the money starts rolling in again. On the other hand, if the wife chooses to feed him prison food rations, then he should take it all with equanimity - that would teach him vital lessons about how best to deal with women when you have money, and motivate him to redouble his efforts to improve his financial situation.

Making a fuss over food even when you did not give the woman money for that is as shameless and low as a man can get.

Where are men like our fathers? As a child i remember growing up seeing plenty of food at home with nice clothes and shoes at home.School books and fees promptly bought and paid for.Now in my generation things have gone awry.Have a friend in d same predicament.Husband earns a almost 200k.She earns just 50k.He expects her to use her salary to pay the nanny,the kids clothes and shoes, provisions,the other child's school fees including making soup for d family while he retricts his contribution to paying the yearly 150k rent and couple of foodstuff.Is this madness or 'super stinginess?

nnamel: A woman that marries a man a jobless man must be another Esther cos her faith in a better tomorrow is unwavering,but she needs to back it up with serious Prayer and Patience cos she has to accept whatever she sees.

I don't know why you people put too much faith in jobs. It's incredible how most of us believe jobs to be the be-all and end-all of financial security. Okay, what if a woman marries a man with a fantastic job and he ends up losing that job some years down the line - when you have children to take care of? People get sacked all the time from all kinds of organisations for all kinds of reasons. I can't tell you how many families are dealing with this situation right now - they are countless. People who were perfectly comfortable at the time when they married, only to descend into acute poverty and hardship many years later. Having a 'job' in the beginning guarantees nothing, seriously. . .unless we can't see beyond our noses.

Happy beginnings are very common, while happy endings are less so. We can only pray not to experience the unpleasant vicissitudes of life, and only God knows that for sure.

He dude, do you think 2 OL?

jennykadry: ^^^WTF? Can't you people type in plain English anymore? What on earth is this silly text messaging English for? Is this why our parents sent us to school? To type like kids? And we scream blue murder when JAMB refuses us pass to the university. Do we blame them? If people write or type like these why on earth do they deserve a university degree?

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS NOTICED THIS

cant possibly marry a biatch n put in ma house as a housewife..... Y r women called helpers... Shegiya

well, different strokes for different folks

This right here is why I won't marry until I really have to.I hope I don't have to. gals marry nowadays after seriously considering if the man is financially stable. if and once you are no longer Mr financially secured then you start going to bed hungry among other bigger reaction from Mrs right . and must I mention all you'll do in bed at such times is SLEEP .

dayokanu: See women.

Now tell me why a housewife deserves to eat when she doesnt contribute anything to the family.

Tgirl you story isnt complete, Does the guy have a job, Does he have money? is he using his money to do something greater for the family like building a house or paying school fees?

Even if he doesnt drop maybe because he doesnt have the means that makes you to starve him and he is no longer the head of the family?

na wa oo. You now see why most Nigerian men think little of the women because they know they are only there when things are rosy and they can drop money for food, the moment they cant drop money, they are no longer worthy to be called husbands

That woman you are talking about is a shame to women. What happened to for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness in health

I really cant understand how most women reason

GUY ON POINT

Ladies thread

Ladies thread...my opinion cud be useless

CHIMSKY: I dont understand all this talk about shared responsibility.Marriage has opened my eyes.I and my wife work but I pay the bills.All the bills.I am not happy with this arrangement but I realized very early that she is very touchy about money.I once asked her what she does with her salary and she wouldnt tell me.My money is our money.Evrrybody's bills are my responsibility but her money is her money.When I lost my job a while back I saw hell at her hands and my mother in law told me off completely.Now that things look better she nd MIL are all cosying up to me.
About dropping money,I drop of course.I even buy all sorts of foodstuff in bulk and give Madam money.Not really because I am happy doing it,but because of the kids.

That's awfully unfair on you!

You aren't boyfriend and girlfriend! So what does she spend her money on, if you don't mind my asking??

CHIMSKY: I dont understand all this talk about shared responsibility.Marriage has opened my eyes.I and my wife work but I pay the bills.All the bills.I am not happy with this arrangement but I realized very early that she is very touchy about money.I once asked her what she does with her salary and she wouldnt tell me.My money is our money.Evrrybody's bills are my responsibility but her money is her money.When I lost my job a while back I saw hell at her hands and my mother in law told me off completely.Now that things look better she nd MIL are all cosying up to me.
About dropping money,I drop of course.I even buy all sorts of foodstuff in bulk and give Madam money.Not really because I am happy doing it,but because of the kids.

So sad for u, man.

Efemena_xy:

That's awfully unfair on you!

You aren't boyfriend and girlfriend! So what does she spend her money on, if you don't mind my asking??

Efemena,she has 'her projects'.Honestly I cant tell u what she does with her money cos she doesnt confide in me.I have found that paying the bills keeps her happy and lets peace reign.That's good enough for me.My grandfather told me when he was alive that' if u want to live in peace,pretend that u do not know that ur wife earns an income.and if and when u eventually find out that shecroes,never ever ask her for a penny'.I took my grandfather serious on this issue brcause I felt he should know.He had 4 wives after all!

Tgirl4real: I don't even know the title to give this.

Sincerely, my intention is not to diss this man o cos I know what our economy says now, and boys even men are not smiling.

But, what do you say to a man that hasn't been dropping money and expects to eat good food?

I don't mean to be rude....but, I see this as irresponsible.


I still don't understand how some of our men reason

soup when he sweet na better money kill abi you know no?

Johndoe100: For once dayokanu is right. Nigerian women are all like this. No matter the good intentions at the start of the issue as time passes the issue of "drop chop money" must bring forth the witch in them.

That is not true, I stood by my husband when he lost his job and even by family had no idea how tough it was for us back then cause I refused to drag him down. A woman that humiliates her husband cause he lost his job is stupid.

Truth of the matter, if Oga does not drop money he should be happy with what ever little or big thing madam puts in front of him for dinner cos she is trying to make sure they don't starve in those trying days.
He should not ask why there is no shaki and bokoto in the soup. He should not ask for turkey when all she can afford on a thight budget is iced fish. He should not ask for fresh fish and appama soup when he gave her nothing to make dinner for the family that day.
And who says a housewife is not contributing to her family? Your mom if she was one wasn't she doing some good for the household by taking care of you kids and your dad?
Men sha, woman work you will be quick to say she is trying to drag position with the man and neglecting the kids. If she sits at home you will be quick to rob it in her nose how useless she is and not contibuting to the household. Well I hope you all have daughters that will marry men with your kind of minds.

CHIMSKY:
Efemena,she has 'her projects'.Honestly I cant tell u what she does with her money cos she doesnt confide in me.I have found that paying the bills keeps her happy and lets peace reign.That's good enough for me.My grandfather told me when he was alive that' if u want to live in peace,pretend that u do not know that ur wife earns an income.and if and when u eventually find out that shecroes,never ever ask her for a penny'.I took my grandfather serious on this issue brcause I felt he should know.He had 4 wives after all!

Yes, but your grandfather's situation isn't applicable to you now - unless of course, you've got more than one wife?

It's understandable in a polygamous setting where there are several wives and kids in the picture, then yes, each woman is expected to look after her own kids, support, feed, educate, clothe them, you name it. Afterall, it would be unimaginable to expect a woman to spend her money on a co-wife(ves) and her brood of kids, abi?

But please, please, please I'm not saying this to cause any rife between you and wifey. This arrangement obviously seems to work well for you both. I'm only sharing my opinions sha.

what other topic can bring all d women on NL out in their throng! Well, the way i see it is that our family goes the very way we want them to go depending on how we behave towards our mates. If we choose to allow the media to wrongly shape our thinking n view of our mate, we live to bear d consequence. The natural law remains that every woman need the loving headship of a man. If u damage d peace of ur home, u live with it that way. When friends come around n tell u how they play n have various fun with their man, then u're left with nothing but wishes. Da1 konsain u sha

greatgod2012: it takes 2 to tangle, aren't we suppose to ba partners, and why food money in d 1st place, when d 2 of u are working, and there are so many bills to clear? what are we women using our own money 4 when we can not assist financially?money 4 food or not, food is always available, because when i collect my salary, d 1st thing i do is to stock food stuffs, including meat, fish etc, so there is no reason 4 me to still be waiting 4 food money.

To all married women in d house, lets please command/earn respect 4 ourselves by not expecting our hubby to foot all d bills everytime,its rewarding; what if we're created as men, wont we be responsible as men in d house?

For men who can afford it, but refuse, lets just ignore him and do d right thing, there's a blessing attached to every good work done, so whoever refuse to play his part misses d blessings.
My opinion anyway.

God bless u.I am shocked at some responses here. What happened to a woman been d help mate of her man? Marriage should be an US thingy and not viewd as HIMSELF and MYSELF. Pls let's help our spouses if the needs arises every sucessful marriage is worked at and takeS the effort of two willing and reSponsible adults.