I have observed this between me and my husband. Our smart phones, blackberrys, laptops, i pads , playstations, internet and other electronic gadgets have been causing emotional distance between us. We get in from work, glue to our pads, eat dinner together and thats all. We now hardly spend time together. I really want to know if this is happening to other people. Please share your experience. Now we have observed it, we are now doing our best to work on it.

You would be surprised how many marriages are collapsing due to smartphone and facebook/social network related issues. Just ask a divorce lawyer and you will be shocked. It seems a large percentage of divorce cases these days has a facebook or smart phone related component.

I read of a church pastor in the Us who adviced his flock to stay away from facebook if they wanted to save their marriages because he was getting an unusual amount of counseling requests for facebook related disputes amongst couples.

@Poster, computers are actually dumb and only do for you what you want them to do. So if you want your smart phone to cause distance in your marriage, it will help you achieve that. It is not to blame though because the power to stop it or continue is really in your hands.

Wonderful post, I hope my wife reads this. She is always glued to her I- pad. If i want to do something, she finds it hard to answer me, just because of her mails and office work. Guys, now i know am not the only one in this situation

its really good when you guys are far from eachother and it helps to strengthen your communication in all ways(skype tinz on galaxy tab).. but the thing is this, there are people who their work is attached to all these gadgets. like me, i spend over 12 or more hours a day on my computer due to work. and sometimes work requires you take her (work) home.. what you have to do in this case is that make sure u get done with substantial part of the work u carry home in record time or just set a time period which you can spare for your spouse/work when taking work home, this way it doesnt seem you are being selfish by just sticking to your gadgets.. there are so many way u can use these gadgets to your benefits. e.g if you both have ipads and there are multiplayer games u can both play together via bluetooth or wifi. it strengthens the relationship alot or better still watch TV togehter and talk about your day..*putting gadgets to effective use*

Kobojunkie: @Poster, computers are actually dumb and only do for you what you want them to do. So if you want your smart phone to cause distance in your marriage, it will help you achieve that. It is not to blame though because the power to stop it or continue is really in your hands.

yea agree wth u bt my dear if ur rili into gadggets u will undastand its nnot has easy as u say. it can turn to a rili bad habit jus like in my case bt i thank God we are tryin tp take control.

Tanx NL 4 ur replies, but rili think i need ur advice now becos its not as easy as i taught. At least am tryin bt my husband is finding it very difficult.

tracyxx: yea agree wth u bt my dear if ur rili into gadggets u will undastand its nnot has easy as u say. it can turn to a rili bad habit jus like in my case bt i thank God we are tryin tp take control.

Why be into gadgets? Gadgets are not meant to rule your life but to help you make things easier in your life. The minute you turn them into an addiction, then you have gone beyond what they are meant for. Also, an addiction is an addiction. You are no worse than those who are into shoes, or dresses, or food. . . All addictions are as a result of the addicted using the object in question as a escape. The core problem remains with the person.

It will surprise you the petty things that can destroy your marriage. Its great to have gadgets, but spending time together is so important in your marriage. Please communication is key.

plaetton: You would be surprised how many marriages are collapsing due to smartphone and facebook/social network related issues. Just ask a divorce lawyer and you will be shocked. It seems a large percentage of divorce cases these days has a facebook or smart phone related component.

I read of a church pastor in the Us who adviced his flock to stay away from facebook if they wanted to save their marriages because he was getting an unusual amount of counseling requests for facebook related disputes amongst couples.

you know a lot of people don't pay attention to things that can destroy their marriage. They only focus on money, cheating and other things. Anything that can cause distance in a marriage must be avoided. We need to create time out for our partners, when we will just be together romantically, without TV, computers or black berry. It will do a lot to make life a great place to be. Imagine a situation when we just focus our attention to our partners without distraction.

husseinjnr: It will surprise you the petty things that can destroy your marriage. Its great to have gadgets, but spending time together is so important in your marriage. Please communication is key.

communication is rili the key, you don't knoww what you have until u looose it.Most of us think communication is only necessary when we are far apart and don't appreciate it especially when you see the same person in tthe same house every day.We always believe there is nothing more to talk about.

Marriages have been destroyed cos of all these, the ones not destroyed are living in pains. I am a typical example of this, my hubby spends greater part of his time on phone, internet chatting with his friends. Most of the time I feel he prefers talking with them 2 communicating with me as his wife. I have called him n talk with him severally on this but just lil improvement 4 days which he still goes back to his usual self. What I try 2 do now is get my mind off these issues n I must confess it is drifting us off cos we hardly communicate. He has accused me severally I don't want him having friends. I am dying emotionally secretly praying that one day God will touch his heart. He is a very egoistic person that doesn't take people advice sometimes cos he believes that he is always right. And if u the advice him, he thinks u r biased n talking from your selfish point of view. He has refused counselling saying he doesn't need it cos there is nuffin wrong with his character.

@ICherisu, its so painful that we men sometimes do things that we cannot take to our partners. Using the internet or other distracting gadgets at the time you are suppose to spend quality time with your partner is very destructive to relationships. It is very important to prioritize our activities and assign times to when we will browse, play our games etc. These non living things must not jeopardize our marriage. Imagine if you start browsing too and you are ignoring him when he needs you, then he will say you are changing and you don't love him again. It is pure selfishness. Kindly tell him to put himself into your shoes.

Nice topic: recently a friend complained to me of how her hubby has been chatting up random gals on the internet eg badoo, 2go collecting bb pins+phone nos of the ladies on these social network sites! She found out and all hell broke loose in fact she went mad & smashed both her phone & her hubby's phone as she had earlier forewarned him about chatting with strangers(ladies) off the internet all in the name of making new friends!! In my home I am making conscious effort to ensure it doesn't cause a distance hubby is a geek and myself nairaland addict the reason I'm online @ NL while hubby is snoring away in his sleep hehehehe

sub_zidi: Nice topic: recently a friend complained to me of how her hubby has been chatting up random gals on the internet eg badoo, 2go collecting bb pins+phone nos of the ladies on these social network sites! She found out and all hell broke loose in fact she went mad & smashed both her phone & her hubby's phone as she had earlier forewarned him about chatting with strangers(ladies) off the internet all in the name of making new friends!! In my home I am making conscious effort to ensure it doesn't cause a distance hubby is a geek and myself nairaland addict the reason I'm online @ NL while hubby is snoring away in his sleep hehehehe

You are so funny, imagine say bros say he wan do at the time wey you dey write this post. And you are telling him to please give you 5mins, . We really need to watch our usage of social media. It breeds infidelity and so sad that ladies are getting killed. Please the rest should please leave people's husbands alone.

@Okontami, u r right cos he complains sometimes that I am doing the same thing forgetting that it was because I was abandoned that resulted to my spending time with phone, television, etc. To be honest, I feel some men are just selfish. Abeg guys is there is any thing wrong with asking for mutual respect, because with my lil knowledge of family I see men wanting to have their way most times not minding whose emotions is bruised. Yet they can't stand being hurt, abandoned or neglected.