This following conversation occurred btw a mother&her short child :
child-mum,u said I shuld always read d bible.
Mum-yes,son.
Child-there is a certain verse in d bible which says:for all has sinned and have fallen short of d glory of God.
Mum-and how is dat supposed 2 cause a problem.
Child-mum,pls confess all ur sins bcause i still want to b tall

When I was young,I used to ask God for a bicycle,but I realised God doesn't do silly things,so I stole a bike and later asked for God's forgiveness.

Mtschew!

A policeman arrested a man for urinating in a prohibited place and fined him N500.The man gave the policeman N1000 and the policeman told d man;abeg urinate one more time,coz I no get change.

Once upon a tym in a little village,there was this terrifying rain dat caused flood in d village,so everybody ran out of d village except a man.People were begging d man to leave bt d man replied dem saying;I'm sure dat God will save me.The second day,a boat came,but d man refused 2 board d boat,d third day,d flood level became higher,so d man got up 2 d roof of his house,there an helicopter came,yet d man didn't board it.So later on,d man died.When d man reached heaven,the man asked God;but God why didn't you save me then God answered but I sent both a boat and an helicopter to u,what do u still want me to do?!!!

PretiEbony: Mtschew!

wetin do dis girl*looks at her and sends her out of d thread*

U try 4 d third joke sha.....

Bin gbagbo-Now that i've bought a new hearing aid,I can hear voices afar,at least i can hear from a distance of two blocks.
Homar-That is very good,by d way,how much did u buy it?
Bin gbagbo-The time is half past six.

PretiEbony: U try 4 d third joke sha.....

no comment

Last year during the elections,I went to one of PDP Gubernatorial campaign and I saw a female jornalist who wore a cloth,there was an inscription on d cloth around d chest area which says"PRESS" and I pressed and naso I hear LAOH for my face.Oga Ade,is it my fault?Sebi na wetin d tin tell me se make I do i do.

A drunk 18 year old asked a married woman out.The married woman told her husband about it.The husband told her dat she shuld invite him to d house so dat he culd deal wit d drunk boy.The wife did as she was adviced and invited d drunk boy to her house,meanwhile her husband is hiding under d bed luking for his opportunity to beat d drunk boy as already planned.The drunk boy accepted d woman's invitation.On getting 2 her house,the drunk boy kissed her,and started removing his clothes,then the woman saw a lot of scars on d drunk boy's body and asked him where he got all dose scars.The drunk boy replied;I lik asking married woman out and anytym I'm caught,we have to fight for d woman,like today nw,if we start making luv and ur husband shows up,he will be d 20th man i've killed.And so he continue his luv making and d woman was making signs 4 her husband 2 come and beat d drunkard but d only thing we heard was a whisper underneath saying,pls,no call my name,abi u wan make I die?!!!

An american invented a machine dat catches thieves.So dey tested it in 3 countries.In America,30mins-50 thieves,In Ghana,10mins-6000 thieves,In Nigeria-5mins-they stole d machine.

Pls wake up frm yor 4kg slumber.
Dry jokes, hisssssssssssss.
Mitchew.
Next.

A naija lady once married a chinese guy and luckily 4 dem,dey got a child within a year.After 3 months.d child died,so the lady's mother came and started shouting;I knew it!I knew it!I knew it!.So someone asked her what she knew,and she replied,I know from d start dat d child or d husband will die soon nitori china products never last.

One day,Messi brought a girl 2 his house.So d girl went 2 d bathroom 2 UnCloth,when she came back to d bedroom,she saw 2 guys wit Messi lying on the bed.So she asked him what was going on.There Messi replied;I can't do anytin except i'm assisted by xavi and Iniesta.

~vicky~:

Last year,vicky and her new boyfriend decided to stroll out to d street.On getting to a boutique,vicky saw a shoe and d following conversation occurred btw vicky and her boyfriend:
Vicky::OOh,I have forgotten my purse at home,can u pls borrow me 5k,I want to buy dis shoe.
Boyfriend:I didn't bring my ATM along.But I have N200 here wit me,you can use it to take a bike and pick up ur purse.

A mother saw her child eating mango fruit and d ffg conversation occured:
Mother-Hope,but I told u nt 2 climb trees coz anytym u climb trees ,boys will stay underneath and start looking at ur pants.
Hope-(laughs)Today,when I wanted 2 pluck mangos,I climbed d mango tree but b/4 I climbed it,I removed my pants so dat boys won't see it.Later on,boys came and they started looking at my buttocks and I laughed at them cause I know dat I've kept my pants in my skirt's pocket.

Mr.T Anonymous:
One day,Messi brought a girl 2 his house.So d girl went 2 d bathroom 2 UnCloth,when she came back to d bedroom,she saw 2 guys wit Messi lying on the bed.So she asked him what was going on.There Messi replied;I can't do anytin except i'm assisted by xavi and Iniesta.

U don mad for head.

Almost all of d posted jokes here have been posted on nairaland before.........

Mr.T Anonymous:
Last year,vicky and her new boyfriend decided to stroll out to d street.On getting to a boutique,vicky saw a shoe and d following conversation occurred btw vicky and her boyfriend:
Vicky::OOh,I have forgotten my purse at home,can u pls borrow me 5k,I want to buy dis shoe.
Boyfriend:I didn't bring my ATM along.But I have N200 here wit me,you can use it to take a bike and pick up ur purse.

i laugh small for dis 1(na help o)

swizz01:



U don mad for head.

thank u bros but u 2 don mad 4 brain

ode remo: Pls wake up frm yor 4kg slumber.
Dry jokes, hisssssssssssss.
Mitchew.
Next.

No be only dry jokes,u go see damp,infact u go see wet jokes.

dis guy is somehow boring

Mr T. Anonymous, every1 is complaining

Nice thread. You tried! Though i've seen some before

A guy who is a gay wanted to stop pretending and tell his mother dat he was a gay.So he went 2 d kitchen and sat on a chair right behind his mother and started speaking by saying;Mum,I hav sumtin I want to say and what I want 2 say is dat I am a gay.The mother didn't reply and as the guy wanted to repeat what he had said earlier,his mother said,I heard you,u re a gay and u always put other men's joystick in ur mouth.The guy answered,yes and he was so happy dat his mother understood what he meant.Suddenly,the mother turned and used d frying pan she was holding 2 touch to hit his head.She then started shouting,anytym I cook food,u would say it is tasteless,why won't it be tasteless?when u would have sucked a man's joystick and dat one would av ejected fluid into ur mouth.

~vicky~:
Mr T. Anonymous, every1 is complaining

No mind dem, na all of dem dey 4 haters club.

ode remo: Pls wake up frm yor 4kg slumber.
Dry jokes, hisssssssssssss.
Mitchew.
Next.

bros,thanks sleep well and remember sey;luv ur neighbour.......but make sure im husband no dey at home.