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Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by paris10: 10:32pm On Jan 28, 2013
Some parents are callous and deserved to be abandoned. Some people live in their home as slaves and have dreamt about the day they would have that freedom. Marriage is a way out for a lot of them. You won't understand if you don't have the experience of what i'm talking about.

Karma is biitch and would surely come to hurt you. Parents that have preference of child over another tend to do this the more..abusing their children and calling it love.

If you see a parent or mother get abandoned by either her son/daughter, don't make judgement, inquire more and see the shocker!
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by dayokanu(m): 10:54pm On Jan 28, 2013
Honor your father and your mother so your days might be long
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by pekelepekele(m): 11:35pm On Jan 28, 2013
The problem is that the parents failed to understand that the most important thing in this life is their own lives . Doesn't mean they won't take care of their kids but as they are doing so they should be saving for their own old age because Gals and boys of nowadays na juju dem dey take tie each other down . Imagine a gal saying she won't marry a man that still has a mother common . God go help us for this world wey we dey so
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by dammytosh: 12:03am On Jan 29, 2013
jerk: Blame it on d part of some wicked wives that these men married.

Most beasts called wife or husband. They hideunder the biblical phrase, "A man shall leave ..........."

Like mostbsensible posters post ealier. What comes around goes around,
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by OmoAlata(f): 11:25am On Jan 29, 2013
paris10:

If you see a parent or mother get abandoned by either her son/daughter, don't make judgement, inquire more and see the shocker!

Absolutely. It's difficult to know what goes on behind closed doors wink
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 11:42am On Jan 29, 2013
chidyke77: hv u forgotten that there are some men may be out of love or stupidity wouldn't do anything without their wife knowledge. They believe in after all,one plus one is one.
Chidyke, such a man is not stupid, One + One becomes one. That is what he's supposed to do however, there are expectional cases. If you as a man see that your wife is the selfish/nasty type (to say such don't exist, would be hypocritical)then wisdom comes in. A lot of men don't want to hear about their wives' families but the wives still help codedly. Would I say because my husband has warned me against helping my family, I wouldn't help when they are in geuniue need? Then what do I have a brain for?
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 11:47am On Jan 29, 2013
jidegirl12: I recently had similar discussion on Damiso's thread

....marriage( kids expenses )shouldn't be an excuse to care for your parents.... It is an obligation to care for your parents the best possible way you can afford( money , time).... it doesn't have to be millions... Let your spouse know its his responsibility and duty of a family purse to include your parents in the budget... They deserve it you like it or not...

Bukatyne... do you know some couple don't have secret and stash money in another account without their spouses knowledge? ........So this is not the matter of a 16 year old I give pocket money I already knew 70% of it will go towards buying her boyfriend gifts.

Please stop mixing apples with oranges.
I am not mixing apples with oranges. When did the concept for giving a child who lives with you pocket money become popular? Are you saying the wife/husband would calculate to the minute kobo each other's expenses? If a woman gives this excuse it is a tiny bit more acceptable than from a man. How many wives wicked or not have the guts to question their husbands' expenses to the last thousand?
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by bukatyne(f): 11:52am On Jan 29, 2013
pekelepekele: [color=#990000]The problem is that the parents failed to understand that the most important thing in this life is their own lives . Doesn't mean they won't take care of their kids but as they are doing so they should be saving for their own old age because Gals and boys of nowadays na juju dem dey take tie each other down . Imagine a gal saying she won't marry a man that still has a mother common . God go help us for this world wey we dey so[/color]
with the blue, you nailed it! A lot of parents especially women have transferred all the love they should have for their spouse and self and given it to the children forgetting that the children have thier own lives to live. Parents should learn to live fulfilled lives! As for the Juju part of it, I no know o! tongue
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by drnoel: 9:32pm On Jan 29, 2013
why is this african mentality so predominant...I mean, why would someone abadon his/her parents
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by Emekuuss(m): 1:02pm On Mar 28, 2013
Truckpusher: One can actually think that it's impossible for people to abandon their parents,but I've seen people of different orientation and educational background abandon their parents without batting an eyelid.

Before we begin to crucify these disadvantaged adults let us understand the factors that would make full grown men or women to abandon their parents irrespective of their background.

Some parents have so much abused their place as a father or mother that their little boy/girl just hangs by the rope waiting to grow up and run away from the house ,all their lives they don't know what it means to be loved or cared for.It is either they are being abused verbally,physically or emotionally ,even when it comes to matters of their education and their general well being as a person that has the zeal to improve his/her life you'll still notice that their parents would even discourage them through their constant wayward attitude towards their children welfare as if they were forced to make babies. Such children are everywhere and one thing for sure is that most of them ends badly in life though you can not remove the fact that most of them still make it big in life ,but an abused child would always be an abused child.

Now to the OP what kind of love would a father or mother expect from a child that went through hell in their presence to remain alive?.... remember you can only give out what you have.
Hmmmm dis is really a big questn
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by Emekuuss(m): 1:04pm On Mar 28, 2013
angelz: Any man who blame his wife for his inability to takia of his parents is a D.
Obviously, d wman controls him n calls d short in d house. The truth is 1's u marry, ur primary responsibility is ur immediate family, while ur parents n siblings r ur secondary resposibility. Am not sayin if u av 2 pay ur dad's medical bill n ur wife needs 2 pay 4 aso - ebi 4 her younger sibling weddin, u shuld takia of her party bills b4 ur Dad's medical bill. Ur dad shuld come first in dis case, cus his life is involv.
So Men who r jus men with dia stick shuld stop blamin dia wives 4 dia irresponsibilities towards dia family.
So if as a man who are considerate of ur family, u shud make sure you takia of ur sibling 2 an independent degree, b4 u get married, set up ur parents if possible. Cus what u r doin 4 ur family b4 u get married, cannot remain d same afterwards. Cus dia r more additional responsibilities.
Evn as a lady, d way l was dishin out 2 my parents were not d same afta l got married, cus my hubby cannot handle evrythin in d house. l av 2 take charge weneva he cant meet up. Those chldren will not understand d word "BROKE". they av 2 eat.
. But some women use juju on their men
Re: Why Do Some People Abandon Their Parents After Marriage? by Emekuuss(m): 1:08pm On Mar 28, 2013
jonc20:

Unfortunately, this is typical of most Nigerians to always blame the wives for everything.
Also, there is also the assumption that all parents are good.
What if the parents are actually bad? For example, you are aware/witness your parents take another life? What do you expect the man to do?
. I see women praying dat b4 dey get married dey don't want to av a mother inlaw or father in law, wat do u say abt dat?

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