When our friends lose their loved ones, what should we do to console them?

There are no specific rules. My best friend died few days ago, and i was consoled by people's presence, jokes, calls and text messages. With time, healing comes.
You can console your friend by being real, and showing you care. You can even take him/her out.

Caracta: There are no specific rules. My best friend died few days ago, and i was consoled by people's presence, jokes, calls and text messages. With time, healing comes.
You can console your friend by being real, and showing you care. You can even take him/her out.

Do you think it's proper to tell jokes to someone who's bereaved?

bigangel4u:

Do you think it's proper to tell jokes to someone who's bereaved?

Not in a direct way. That was why i said there are no rules to it. I have a particular friend (a sanguine) that loves teasing me whenever i'm in tears. Words like 'common girl, ur face looks scary' etc.make me want to smash his head into pieces but i smile instead. Listen, what worked for me might not work for your friend. All the best.

Caracta:
Not in a direct way. That was why i said there are no rules to it. I have a particular friend (a sanguine) that loves teasing me whenever i'm in tears. Words like 'common girl, ur face looks scary' etc.make me want to smash his head into pieces but i smile instead. Listen, what worked for me might not work for your friend. All the best.

Thanks!

In addition, some situations demand for just our presence. Say few words, pray with them, listen to them, help them with chores, be readily available at any time. Don't bore them with epistles and stories, they wouldn't listen. Let them heal.

Until you lose a loved one yourself, you can understand only time MAY heal. Nothing else. I don't even bother anymore but send a card with MONEY in it to help for funeral arrangements! No need making things worse. The grieving process is an individual experience. Unless you are dealing with a professional 'mourner'! Aka 'my fellow widows'!

I LOVE TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!!
No phone calls, NO VISITORS!!!
I don't do crowds in life or in death! Period!
Just my family only. No friends! I don't keep any!
Only males of course.

I personally give them space to grief. No visiting and poke nosing. Occasional phone calls and assistance using my discretion and that's just about that.

I'm highly emotionally and therefore not a good physical company for anyone in grief. Besides, I've lost a loved one, I healed with time, all alone.

@ Calloti. But I think it's during our troubled hours we know who really care for us.

bigangel4u: When our friends lose their loved ones, what should we do to console them?

First, pray for them.
Just be there and lend them a shoulder to cry on.
Give them space if they need it and don't force them to "get over it".

When my father died, it was the hardest thing for me.
Luckily I had friends and family who knew what to do.

bigangel4u: @ Calloti. But I think it's during our troubled hours we know who really care for us.

^la verdad!

bigangel4u: @ Calloti. But I think it's during our troubled hours we know who really care for us.

True. But even those can change when 'times are no longer troubled'!
They may become even worse than death! LOL!!!
I will be in no position to know who cares or not in times of grief.
I love to be left alone. Being around people will not help.

Just me.