Don't be deceived by the public theatrics, the truth is a lot of married people are unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated with their failing marriages.

The truth is, perhaps only 3 or 4 out of every 10 married people can honestly conclude after a few years of marriage that they married their soul mate, that they are fulfilled, satisfied and growing in love. This means that about 70% of married people are unhappy within the first few years.

If you are a woman, that means, 70% of the married women in the world are now envious of you, envious because you are still single, and have an advantage over them, you have that big opportunity to carefully make the decision and avoid the mistakes that they have made, (the same applies to the men).

That means you should stop being envious or even bitter because every Saturday your friends get married and you are still in waiting. Be truly happy for those that God helped to get it right, and do not deride or gossip about the ones that missed it and are already struggling, (you won’t find any fulfilment in doing that) , instead sincerely remember them in your prayers.

Definitely, I perfectly understand that every marriage has its challenges and I perfectly understand that there is no perfect marriage, but I also know that there are patched marriages, and there is perfect love.

So instead of been anxious and worried, and hurriedly getting into a marriage that will end up being patched and managed, be grateful for the immense opportunity you still have to get it right.

Don’t let your decision be influenced by your limited, biased, short-sighted and unreliable senses, instead, trust God to lead you into your perfect love

Crap. Keep decieving yourself.

10 over 10: Don't be deceived by the public theatrics, the truth is a lot of married people are unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated with their failing marriages.

The truth is, perhaps only 3 or 4 out of every 10 married people can honestly conclude after a few years of marriage that they married their soul mate, that they are fulfilled, satisfied and growing in love. This means that about 70% of married people are unhappy within the first few years.

If you are a woman, that means, 70% of the married women in the world are now envious of you, envious because you are still single, and have an advantage over them, you have that big opportunity to carefully make the decision and avoid the mistakes that they have made, (the same applies to the men).

That means you should stop being envious or even bitter because every Saturday your friends get married and you are still in waiting. Be truly happy for those that God helped to get it right, and do not deride or gossip about the ones that missed it and are already struggling, (you won’t find any fulfilment in doing that) , instead sincerely remember them in your prayers.

Definitely, I perfectly understand that every marriage has its challenges and I perfectly understand that there is no perfect marriage, but I also know that there are patched marriages, and there is perfect love.

So instead of been anxious and worried, and hurriedly getting into a marriage that will end up being patched and managed, be grateful for the immense opportunity you still have to get it right.

Don’t let your decision be influenced by your limited, biased, short-sighted and unreliable senses, instead, trust God to lead you into your perfect love

nyz writeup btw been single isn't frustrating as u made it appear anyways they are some truth in your write up[thumbs up]

Thank You.

Nice write up. Single ladies, especially those above 28 should learn to love themselves and not rush into marriage because people expect them to be married.

Sam Milla: Crap. Keep decieving yourself.

i feel sorry 4 u,especially if ure a lady

I think the article is simply brilliant.

When I saw the title I dint open it because I assumed it was one of those single bashing threads.
Poster bless you, you have said nothing but the truth, take it from someone who has been twice married, luckily I am one of the few who survived and got lucky the second time.
I wish I could take this message and ram it into the brains of single ladies and men. I have had younger friends and cousins who come complianing and even willing to settle with an obvious failure just to be "married".
Life is first of all about finding self fulfilment, happiness and doing the work God sent you to do, when you die and go to heaven God won't ask if you were married, how many kids you have or their gender.
We should strive to find happiness in our lives and what we do before sharing our lives with others.
So many marry to escape poverty, a miserable family, loniliness and not because they found someone who iss ready to share in and add to their happiness.
I know so many people who are stuck in loveless violent marriages and their pastime is to berate single ladies at weddings and funerals just to make themselves feel happier, its like saying "I am miserable, what right do you have to be single, happy and fulfiled, marriage is meant to make me happy but I am in a living hell, let me spoil your joy too"
Happily married people know a good marriage is based on solid factors and so don't go around hounding singles with "what are you waiting for" question.
We were at an even recently and I totally lost it with some aquaintances, we were sharing the same table with some former friends who I know still get the "black eye" and have pharamacists on speed dial for antibiotic STD treatments, one of our friends who cloced 30 was sharing the table and these congregation of miserable vultures took turns in making snide comments at her while she was sitting right there.
I expected her to speak but she kept smiling and telling them" don't worry, it will come" that didn't satisfy them as they kept insisting that she lower her standards and stop being so picky, even reminded her of a suitor which we all know as a miserable drunk who lives with his parents and sleeps in the gutter, this is a lady with an MBA with a great job, they were telling her to "just marry" and manage him.
I couldn't hold it in any more, I told them " No thank you, she will pass, you go and manage your husband and his 3 children from different househelps, and you go and write your will because soon that man will kill you and marry that his ex girlfriend who is patiently waiting by the side"
They got so upset but I simply reminded them that they were doing exactly the same thing so why does it hurt now because they are the recipeints of their own bile and judgement.
Singles I beg you, love your self and your life, you can't change an adult, don't let people say "marry him or her and manage she/ he will change" someone who loves you will see that he/ she can willing drop all the negatives and build a life with you. Its the persons decision to be a good husband or wife not your responsibility to mold them, that Job is for their parents.
Please don't marry to please others, marry because you found someone who is worth your life, time and energy

^Yay, Debrief and me are agreeing in a very long time.

maclatunji: ^Yay, Debrief and me are agreeing in a very long time.

Yes oh oga Mac, You know how I do na, I disagree with issues not with personality. I no know you before na only ideas we sometimes agree and sometimes differ on.
Have a great sunday

debrief08:
Yes oh oga Mac, You know how I do na, I disagree with issues not with personality. I no know you before na only ideas we sometimes agree and sometimes differ on.
Have a great sunday

Thank you. I will try madam.

Sam Milla: Crap. Keep decieving yourself.

Thank you. I don't know why all these kids just come to pander to the women and spout all this kind of BS.

Johndoe100:

Thank you. I don't know why all these kids just come to pander to the women and spout all this kind of BS.

I guess u are a victim of blind marriage and now u are taking it personal..the article is not only for women but for men too..

Being single is not a bed of roses either. However, its better to take your time and get married than rushing into marriage. You need to know all what you want in your partner, and they must be realistic enough and not exorbitant wants; like; I need a guy who has a roles royce or a lady who has over 50mills in her account. In all, cut your coat according to ur size

debrief08: When I saw the title I dint open it because I assumed it was one of those single bashing threads.
Poster bless you, you have said nothing but the truth, take it from someone who has been twice married, luckily I am one of the few who survived and got lucky the second time.
I wish I could take this message and ram it into the brains of single ladies and men. I have had younger friends and cousins who come complianing and even willing to settle with an obvious failure just to be "married".
Life is first of all about finding self fulfilment, happiness and doing the work God sent you to do, when you die and go to heaven God won't ask if you were married, how many kids you have or their gender.
We should strive to find happiness in our lives and what we do before sharing our lives with others.
So many marry to escape poverty, a miserable family, loniliness and not because they found someone who iss ready to share in and add to their happiness.
I know so many people who are stuck in loveless violent marriages and their pastime is to berate single ladies at weddings and funerals just to make themselves feel happier, its like saying "I am miserable, what right do you have to be single, happy and fulfiled, marriage is meant to make me happy but I am in a living hell, let me spoil your joy too"
Happily married people know a good marriage is based on solid factors and so don't go around hounding singles with "what are you waiting for" question.
We were at an even recently and I totally lost it with some aquaintances, we were sharing the same table with some former friends who I know still get the "black eye" and have pharamacists on speed dial for antibiotic STD treatments, one of our friends who cloced 30 was sharing the table and these congregation of miserable vultures took turns in making snide comments at her while she was sitting right there.
I expected her to speak but she kept smiling and telling them" don't worry, it will come" that didn't satisfy them as they kept insisting that she lower her standards and stop being so picky, even reminded her of a suitor which we all know as a miserable drunk who lives with his parents and sleeps in the gutter, this is a lady with an MBA with a great job, they were telling her to "just marry" and manage him.
I couldn't hold it in any more, I told them " No thank you, she will pass, you go and manage your husband and his 3 children from different househelps, and you go and write your will because soon that man will kill you and marry that his ex girlfriend who is patiently waiting by the side"
They got so upset but I simply reminded them that they were doing exactly the same thing so why does it hurt now because they are the recipeints of their own bile and judgement.
Singles I beg you, love your self and your life, you can't change an adult, don't let people say "marry him or her and manage she/ he will change" someone who loves you will see that he/ she can willing drop all the negatives and build a life with you. Its the persons decision to be a good husband or wife not your responsibility to mold them, that Job is for their parents.
Please don't marry to please others, marry because you found someone who is worth your life, time and energy

Thumbs up...i absolutely agree with you

10 over 10: Don't be deceived by the public theatrics, the truth is a lot of married people are unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated with their failing marriages.

The truth is, perhaps only 3 or 4 out of every 10 married people can honestly conclude after a few years of marriage that they married their soul mate, that they are fulfilled, satisfied and growing in love. This means that about 70% of married people are unhappy within the first few years.

If you are a woman, that means, 70% of the married women in the world are now envious of you, envious because you are still single, and have an advantage over them, you have that big opportunity to carefully make the decision and avoid the mistakes that they have made, (the same applies to the men).

That means you should stop being envious or even bitter because every Saturday your friends get married and you are still in waiting. Be truly happy for those that God helped to get it right, and do not deride or gossip about the ones that missed it and are already struggling, (you won’t find any fulfilment in doing that) , instead sincerely remember them in your prayers.

Definitely, I perfectly understand that every marriage has its challenges and I perfectly understand that there is no perfect marriage, but I also know that there are patched marriages, and there is perfect love.

So instead of been anxious and worried, and hurriedly getting into a marriage that will end up being patched and managed, be grateful for the immense opportunity you still have to get it right.

Don’t let your decision be influenced by your limited, biased, short-sighted and unreliable senses, instead, trust God to lead you into your perfect love

If this is an argument against marraige then it's complete bullsh1t!

Everyone know that the grass is considered greener at the othe side. Hence people experiencing difficulties in their marriage always wish the chose differently. Fact is, if they had to do it over again, they would make the same choice all over again!

Many unhappy married people are not unhappy cos they are married, but because of some other life choices that are not marriage related!

Yes, advise singles not to be desperate that's fine. But don't act like married people are all crying and envious of singles. That's not true.

And YEA, I'm married!

I doubt a lot of people even know what it means to be single. I was talking to a friend the other day, who considers himself single. This dude has not gone even 1 year straight without a relationship since he was about 15, yet when you ask for opinions on what it means to be single, he takes the seat as chairman thinking he has the understanding it takes to discuss the issue.

10 over 10: Don't be deceived by the public theatrics, the truth is a lot of married people are unhappy, unfulfilled and frustrated with their failing marriages.

The truth is, perhaps only 3 or 4 out of every 10 married people can honestly conclude after a few years of marriage that they married their soul mate, that they are fulfilled, satisfied and growing in love. This means that about 70% of married people are unhappy within the first few years.

If you are a woman, that means, 70% of the married women in the world are now envious of you, envious because you are still single, and have an advantage over them, you have that big opportunity to carefully make the decision and avoid the mistakes that they have made, (the same applies to the men).

That means you should stop being envious or even bitter because every Saturday your friends get married and you are still in waiting. Be truly happy for those that God helped to get it right, and do not deride or gossip about the ones that missed it and are already struggling, (you won’t find any fulfilment in doing that) , instead sincerely remember them in your prayers.

Definitely, I perfectly understand that every marriage has its challenges and I perfectly understand that there is no perfect marriage, but I also know that there are patched marriages, and there is perfect love.

So instead of been anxious and worried, and hurriedly getting into a marriage that will end up being patched and managed, be grateful for the immense opportunity you still have to get it right.

Don’t let your decision be influenced by your limited, biased, short-sighted and unreliable senses, instead, trust God to lead you into your perfect love

And where, if I may ask, did you get your figures from?

Did you just "pluck" them from the air? Prove that 70% figure you've just given with solid statistical data to back up your claim. Or at the very least, a link to the research / survey document you base your "hypothesis" on.

Only a clown would believe that marriage is plain sailing and a bed of roses. Marriage they say, is like a garden that needs to be tended to diligently. You take your eyes off it for a second and you get "weeds" trying to get in.

Yes, married couples do have difficulties from time to time. That's natural. What's important and a true test of one's maturity is HOW you deal with the issues that come up. Airing your dirty linen in public is not the way to go. There are a whole host of avenues that can be used, depending on the issue(s) at hand.

And remember, you go through different issues at different stages of your marriage. So take for example, at the very beginning when kids come in, both the man and wife need to learn how to accommodate the addition to the family and make sacrifices where needed. You also get issues relating to finance as the size of your family increases.

When your kids get to schooling age, you've got different things to consider. When they hit puberty / teenage years, you also have other issues to consider. As you get older, say 20 - 40 years time, you get health issues, etc to worry about.

So basically, it's a never ending process because life is not at a standstill. We as humans need to adjust and adapt to changes as we meet them.

Making flat statements that marriage is all doom and gloom is such a childish outlook and lacks maturity and insight on life itself.

Ujujoan:

And YEA, I'm married!

See broadcasting!
You don tell us before na.lol