I dont like the idea of living with the live in maids but on like here in
dubai where all the maids are ethiopian girls with big nyash, i have no choice.

Kobojunkie: @POster, why maids at all? Even Oyinbo wey dey work so many hours more than most African women do, do not get maids the way you African women do. You folks need to stop being lazy and get over this "I am not complete without a maid for status" mentality.

Lack of infrastructure to do basic services yourself necessitate a helping hand. I hate being served and it worries me how to cope when I come home.

[color=#990000][/color]need housemaid coz one hor.neyp.ot no go do........hahahahahahahah

Chaulay1: @Kobojunkie
Since you strongly feel there is no need for maid services at all, I am just wondering if there is a way out of this situation I am going to describe.

Husband and wife leave home around 7:00am to be back usually 8:00pm. Before the arrival of a baby there was no need for any maid but then wife got pregnant and and will be due for delivery soon. In her place of work, she is only entitled to 6weeks maternity leave. The couple live very far from other family members and now the question is how will they cope without a maid. The wife is considering additional 6weeks off work without pay so that d baby will be 3months before her resumption. The option of resigning to look after the baby is no go area as the wife is the major financier of the home.

Now, what are the other options she has apart from a maid(nanny) considering the fact that Daycare centres close hours before her closing time. Infact, leaving the office for daycare runs is not feasible?
(Note: wife's mum is late and mother in-law will only be available few weeks after delivery)

Will appreciate other peoples' responses as well.

First, those who NEED maid services NEED them. The reason why maid services are still not the norm in the west is because many people are able to do without them, even with their busy schedules and lives(again I stress that many in the west have busier lives and schedules than those in Nigeria can boast of).

Now to the part that confuses me in your post. Were you trying to present a non-TYPICAL picture of why people need maids or where you just trying to be facetious. I mean what you have there is your typical story -- most 85% of married couples experience something similar yet you do not find people hiring maids at equivalent rates as those in Nigeria. Even Nigerian couples in America are not hiring maids at the same rate as their counterparts in Nigeria, who again, I stress, do not have lives as hectic as they do.

chmod777:
Lack of infrastructure to do basic services yourself necessitate a helping hand. I hate being served and it worries me how to cope when I come home.

What infrastructure did your mothers and grandmothers, who had so many more children than you all did, and probably had busier lives too since some of them spent much of the day on the farms or in the markets trying to sell their wares, use to carry out some of the very same chores, pray tell?

@ KoboJunkie
What sort of mentality does this KoboJunkie has ? Do you think its so easy for someone who lives in say a 5 Bedroom Duplex to do cleaning and other household chores all by himself/herself ? You need to start thinking outside your mentality equation. Many of us dont live your kind of lifestyles. @ The OP, there is nothing wrong in having a live-in maid if you have adequate space within your Premises for them to stay, as for me, my BQ is too small and its where I put in my washing machines and dryers, hence I have someone come clean house, do laundry only on weekends. And I am not even married yet, when I get married, I will have a live-in made cos I cant allow my wife do all the cooking and stuff. Wives are not slaves.

Lord_Reed:

Oh yeah remind me again any who disagrees with you takes meds....yeah check. Other 9 to 5-ers do not hire maids right? Rich American women not part of the 99% are the only ones who hire maids right?

Nah . . I mentioned the meds cause I had to find a logical reason why you would try to make such a comparison. You are the one who tried to compare your typical Nigerian woman with American women living in big homes. I am just saying ... . own your rambles.. . .

Kobojunkie:
First, those who NEED maid services NEED them. The reason why maid services are still not the norm in the west is because many people are able to do without them, even with their busy schedules and lives(again I stress that many in the west have busier lives and schedules than those in Nigeria can boast of).

Now to the part that confuses me in your post. Were you trying to present a non-TYPICAL picture of why people need maids or where you just trying to be facetious. I mean what you have there is your typical story -- most 85% of married couples experience something similar yet you do not find people hiring maids at equivalent rates as those in Nigeria. Even Nigerian couples in America are not hiring maids at the same rate as their counterparts in Nigeria, who again, I stress, do not have lives as hectic as they do.

if maid services is nota norm in the west tell me how come we get a look of young ladies trafficked to the west ?

free2ryhme:
if maid services is nota norm in the west tell me how come we get a look of young ladies trafficked to the west ?

So, in your understanding, the trafficking problem has to do with maid services??

Kobojunkie:

Nah . . I mentioned the meds cause I had to find a logical reason why you would try to make such a comparison. You are the one who tried to compare your typical Nigerian woman with American women living in big homes. I am just saying ... . own your rambles.. . .

Still ignored whats right in front of your eyes huh........Are rich Americans the only ones that hire maids or don't 9 to 5-er's hire maids as well?

Iv got a non live in maid,who comes in 3ce a week,for bout 2hours,I don't believe that makes me less hardworking than the next woman,I work a 6-6 job,come back home physically and mentally exhausted,in this state I'm expected to cook,clean(sweep,wash dishes,bathroom,clothes)bathe the kids,help with their homework(which these days are just ridiculous,cos uv got to get info off the internet,print and bind d darned things),get them off to bed(which is war on its own),and then fulfill ur marital duties,and all d while trying not to be a snappish or naggy wife and mother,come on,I aint no superwoman,I believe in everything we shud apply wisdom,wats d point of carrying all of the cleaning up burden and at d end of the day be too tired to be a loving mum and wife. If u as a woman feel u can do it all by urself,then kudos to u,as for me I need all the help I can get,I'm not ready to start looking old and washed out at my tender age.

Kobojunkie:
So, in your understanding, the trafficking problem has to do with maid services??

you are the one saying that not me

free2ryhme:
you are the one saying that not me

Really? you want to lie now? Cause you are the one who brought up the issue of trafficking and maids . . not me.

@Op, please put up a poll for this. I prefer non-live in Maids for the obvious reason of what the eye does not see, the heart does not hunger for.

^^^^^ kobojunkie.....its obvious you dont have children yet. try to be up thru out the nite wit a child and the next morning with your red eyes see if you can touch even a cup...

then you can come here and make mouth.

I had a friend like you, even till now with 2 kids, she is still insisting that she dont want no help.. yet her house is a pigstile cus she cant keep up with cleaning. but she will be the first to call ppl lazy.



btw which white ppl are you even talking abt? even the stay at home mums still get help from their partners with children, laundry, dinner, and so on.

a lot of them dont have helps not cause they dont need one, but cause they cant afford one. i have some of them as my friends and i know they cant keep up with housecleaning daily so they do it every 2 to 3 days.

personally i like my house clean everyday, so if i cant get it by myself, i dont see why i cant hire someone else to do it for me.

@op, non living shud be preferable, but only on week days.

Kobojunkie:
First, those who NEED maid services NEED them. The reason why maid services are still not the norm in the west is because many people are able to do without them, even with their busy schedules and lives(again I stress that many in the west have busier lives and schedules than those in Nigeria can boast of).

Now to the part that confuses me in your post. Were you trying to present a non-TYPICAL picture of why people need maids or where you just trying to be facetious. I mean what you have there is your typical story -- most 85% of married couples experience something similar yet you do not find people hiring maids at equivalent rates as those in Nigeria. Even Nigerian couples in America are not hiring maids at the same rate as their counterparts in Nigeria, who again, I stress, do not have lives as hectic as they do.

Kobojunkie- It is not a story but someone's life situation. Agreed, it is not a typical picture but the wife in question doesn't seem to have an option, hence, the question if there are other options available to her. The need for a nanny is because of her baby- What else can she do?

Warfibabe: ^^^^^ kobojunkie.....its obvious you dont have children yet. try to be up thru out the nite wit a child and the next morning with your red eyes see if you can touch even a cup...

then you can come here and make mouth.

I had a friend like you, even till now with 2 kids, she is still insisting that she dont want no help.. yet her house is a pigstile cus she cant keep up with cleaning. but she will be the first to call ppl lazy.

It is obvious you are a lazy woman from the statements above. Not only do I take care of kids, I also sleep less than 4 hours most nights so I can get work done, both at home and meet deadlines at work. I don't have gadgets and gizmos to do my work for me. I wipe my floors and scrub my own bathrooms. I cook most every day, and I am not loosing my mind . . . My mother was able to raise 6 kids without maids and she never complained that she needed them.

So rather than try to attack people brainlessly, focus on making your case rationally.

Kobojunkie:

Really? you want to lie now? Cause you are the one who brought up the issue of trafficking and maids . . not me.

u inferred from the said statement

Chaulay1:

Kobojunkie- It is not a story but someone's life situation. Agreed, it is not a typical picture but the wife in question doesn't seem to have an option, hence, the question if there are other options available to her. The need for a nanny is because of her baby- What else can she do?

It is not someone's life situation that you have there but MOST EVERY COUPLES life situation. Most every couple in America, for instance has that same story to deal with, yet maid services are attributed to mostly the rich in America. Look at the current election campaign to understand what I mean. Mrs Romney is today being lambasted for having maids, and everyone wants to know how many she even had growing up. and we already have evidence that not everyone in that situation hires maids. Nigerian women here in the States who find themselves in that situation either make changes in their lives to accommodate the new entry or they find ways to bribe their mother to fly all the way from Nigeria to come help them.

So please think these things through before you post em next time.

free2ryhme:

u inferred from the said statement

If you are not serious, I will say let this be. You again, introduced TRAFFICKING issues in connection with maids . . that is not inferred . . . that is what you typed.

Kobojunkie:

It is obvious you are a lazy woman from the statements above. Not only do I take care of kids, I also sleep less than 4 hours most nights so I can get work done, both at home and my job.

So rather than try to attack people brainlessly, focus on making your case rationally.

You sabi suffer suffer life. Let me guess. Hmmmnnn You cant afford a maid or you live in a ram-shackled district.

Kobojunkie:

If you are not[b] serious[/b], I will say let this be. You again, introduced TRAFFICKING issues in connection with maids . . that is not inferred . . . that is what you typed.

mdm,,, Whats with the insult.. abeg ooo i no get power

free2ryhme:
mdm,,, Whats with the insult.. abeg ooo i no get power

What is insulting about that?

non-live-in housekeepers.

Kobojunkie:

What is insulting about that?

ok no vex no vex

There will never be a grand conclusion to this argument
Its like the stay at home mom vs career mom argument
Im with kobo on this
no maids for me ,with kids and a fairly big house Im doing just fine
Theres something called Staying organized and having a routine go figure!

Kobojunkie:

If you are not serious, I will say let this be. You again, introduced TRAFFICKING issues in connection with maids . . that is not inferred . . . that is what you typed.

my angle is your statement of maid service not being a norm in the west....

free2ryhme:

my angle is your statement of maid service not being a norm in the west....

But yes, it is NOT a Norm in the west. Maid services being a norm was back when blacks were considered slaves and so many housewives, in much the same way Nigerian woman are doing today, believed they needed maids to complete them. That lifestyle and mentality went with the 60's.
Today, maids are considered to be out there for the rich people. Try to google this and you will find that it is not a norm here. There are companies that try to make certain services available and affordable but that is it. Hiring a maid is like hiring an employee for your company.Not a lot of people can afford to pay another person $20- $30 thousand or more a year(not that maids are even that cheap here). Maid services charge about $20 or more dollars per hour. How many people can afford to pay anyone that?

I know it is typical to want to throw those in the west under the bus, but in this case one only needs to look at the Nigerian communities here to figure out that it is truly not the case that married women need maids as some suggest.

@Kobo
I was going to make a statement on how our Nigerian women ranked among the most hardworking women globally but the responses from the women on this tread clearly stated they wont wait for any statistic to prove my claim.

I suggest you read up and reshape your view on issues like this or else you will endanger the life of any woman that is your wife or ended up to be your wife.

conda00410: @Kobo
I was going to make a statement on how our Nigerian women ranked among the most hardworking women globally but the responses from the women on this tread clearly stated they wont wait for any statistic to prove my claim.

I suggest you read up and reshape your view on issues like this or else you will endanger the life of any woman that is your wife or ended up to be your wife.

I am sorry but you don't get to make things up. No statistic or number or claim out there suggests that women who have maids are hardworking. There are Nigerian women here in the west who are able to juggle full-time employment, with their house keeping and mothering chores , without the help of maids and no plans to. If this is possible then no lazy woman in Nigeria(maid or no maid) can tell us that she is more hardworking than these are.

Kobojunkie:

But yes, it is NOT a Norm in the west. Maid services being a norm was back when blacks were considered slaves and so many housewives, in much the same way Nigerian woman are doing today, believed they needed maids to complete them. That lifestyle and mentality went with the 60's.
Today, maids are considered to be out there for the rich people. Try to google this and you will find that it is not a norm here. There are companies that try to make certain services available and affordable but that is it. Hiring a maid is like hiring an employee for your company.Not a lot of people can afford to pay another person $20- $30 thousand or more a year(not that maids are even that cheap here). Maid services charge about $20 or more dollars per hour. How many people can afford to pay anyone that?

I know it is typical to want to throw those in the west under the bus, but in this case one only needs to look at the Nigerian communities here to figure out that it is truly not the case that married women need maids as some suggest.

So the ones who afford and do are lazy is that what you are saying?