Kobojunkie:

My thoughts too . . . Rent-a-maids are not cheap here. Having a full-time maid will cost a bundle . . . about $20K a year and with the new laws requiring employers provide insurance, I doubt a lot of people are doing that out in the west.

Now in Nigeria, I also doubt many of those who claim to have maids pay their maids the new minimum wage(Naira 18,000 a month). PURE SLAVERY!

in Nigeria they pay more for maids just that the handlers/agencies get a huge chunk of the money

I think the non-live in house keeper is the way to go.

debrief08: I am guilty of being lazy oh, I am in my thirties, Mother of 2, almost a Director in my office, work 10-12 hours a day sometimes, travel out of town fr work, run a side business, still cook and clean at home, care for my kids, I am lazy and I am happy, I am not ashamed to need help and be able to afford help.
I congratulate super women who do it all with 6-10 children, i am not one, I am just a lazy Nigerian woman, guilty as charged. I dont want to age, I have been super woman and now its time to just be a lazy, calm, loving happy wife, and I am loving it.
Being super woman made me cranky, tensed, upset and frustrated, but admitting I am lazy cant do it all and need help has made me a better wife and mother, also made me look younger prettier and hotter for Oga, I like lazy

me too oh!.. we are are a bunch of lazy women for daring to ask for help in otder to keep up with our normal routines

Tedpgrass:

@KJ,
I take on board the physical work our mothers n grandmothers did.....
However, that was a different dispensation.

1) Work was largely physical, not cerebral or (if trying to be exact) cerebellar .....Look around u and see the 30-somethings academics who have grey hair, something unheard of before the age of 50 in our parent's generation A far-fetched example, but still holds true.

Visit reality please. Our mothers and grandmothers had it worse. Physical work actually ages you QUICKER than cerebral work. That is why many of these women who are not telling you that they are doing anything cerebral are quick to suggest that having a maid to handle much of the physical work helps them stay younger, longer.
You are probably not asking your aging 30-somethings what it is they are doing in their lives causing the aging.

Tedpgrass:
2) There was a lot of support systems in place, .... delegation of certain responsibilities was key.... ...the village trained the child, not just the parents.... and to some degree, the responsibility was spread....

Support systems for whom? Are you kidding me? Did you grow up in Africa at all? Many of our mothers and grandmothers had NO SUPPORT systems in place. Many of them had to hussel in the cities you know of today and there was not much delegation going on as many of them had to raise their kids ALONE(abandoned wives with 3 or more kids to deal with . . yes, and they did it all). Many of the fathers were not always there to help and so the mothers had to do it all essentially.

It is today you have support systems where you have daycare centers to send the kids to etc.

Tedpgrass:
3) Not in todays world in the west, where its a solo experience, Who do u have to delegate to..... without being labelled..negligent ??! and that's when the govt n laws aren't dictating how to train our wards.....Still blame the "govt hand-shackled" parents when things go wrong!!!!!!

In the west there are support systems . . . . . let's not even try to make that one up.

Tedpgrass:
4) In addition to the pressures of modern day living whether out in the west or the newly westernized sectors of Africa, the stress only increases.

These are only a few reasons....... many more abound!!

Re: the story of the couple wt 10-11 children, there is no relevance to the present topic. Afterall there are numerous traditional large Irish, Mormon or gypsy families not living off the state, who don't get to the papers.

As mentioned previously, each case has to judged on its own merits.

Pressures of modern day living are worse in the west than in Nigeria. There is evidence of this EVERYWHERE . . . . even those in Nigeria are aware of this.

And about the couple with 10-11 children, it was in response to your suggestion that if Government supports it, then it should not be demonized. So apply that logic here and tell me how well it works.

free2ryhme:

in Nigeria they pay more for maids just that the handlers/agencies get a huge chunk of the money

They do? Is it possible for me to verify this claim of yours?

If I can afford it, I want a live in governess and a non live in housekeeper. I don't want a nanny. Can't have them influencing my kids in anyway. Oh! I'll need the washerman to stay on as washing machines don't iron clothes. Any exercise I need I'll get at the gym or just by walking. Am I lazy? Probably.

Hello NL, I need a non-live-in housekeeper, any help would be appreciated.

sweet-easy:
Hello NL, I need a non-live-in housekeeper, any help would be appreciated.

www.cleanhomeaffairs.com. Call them on 0700CLEANERS.
These are professionals o, come to your house with janitorial equipment, environmental friendly cleaning products. In short ehn, your house will sparkle sef.
Been to mine and some friends house, we cant seem to get over them sef.
pls quote SEPT2041 to get 20% off for discount.

In response to KJ

I beg differ.
We may have to agree to disagree on this issue.
You have remained quite myopic on this issue rather surprisingly!!

and based your understanding on experiences, personal or otherwise.
Some of your above explanations are supported by little scientific basis or demographic data.

Don't focus on the zebras at the expense of the horses.

Have yourself a good day!!

Tedpgrass: In response to KJ

I beg differ.
We may have to agree to disagree on this issue.
You have remained quite myopic on this issue rather surprisingly!!

and based your understanding on experiences, personal or otherwise.
Some of your above explanations are supported by little scientific basis or demographic data.

Don't focus on the zebras at the expense of the horses.

Have yourself a good day!!

How did you arrive at me being the myopic individual here? Let me guess you are going to suggest that because the majority in Nigeria buy into this thinking means I am myopic?

And pray tell, what scientific or demographic data have you been able to support your numerous claims with?

There is nothing I dislike more than people coming in, pretending they have the argument worked out, and so can get away with making baseless claims in hopes that riding the the majority being in agreement is all that is needed.

Stop arguing like an ODI please and stick to making your points, if you can. Demographic-wise, I don't see what your argument is. Scientifically, you claim that using your brain more ages you is baseless. . . .

Tedpgrass....
Kobojunkie has been unusually smart for today's conversation sef. I think it has to do with his oni and son's ceo not be around.

Lets call a truce, what you prefer or do not does not make you lazy or hardworking.
Its humorous to think that anyone's opinion is the best on issues like this.
Hard worker or lazy, if you want a maid, go get it, if na come and go professionals you want, whats stopping you. As long as you pay them their wages at the appropriate time and you dont treat them like lesser beings.
Its a job like your 7-6 job, so lets bring dignity to all this artisan like professions by treating them like one.

The problem isnt even with the house-help, the challenge is that we need a bit of 360 orientation on our regards for every other person regardless of the work they do or not, and that even includes babies.

free2ryhme:

in Nigeria they pay more for maids just that the handlers/agencies get a huge chunk of the money

What you are saying is that these households can afford to pay their maids $300 dollars every month, you do know that, right?

Kobojunkie:

They do? Is it possible for me to verify this claim of yours?

if you stay in Lagos. it is possible to verify these claims

Kobojunkie:

What you are saying is that these households can afford to pay their maids $300 dollars every month, you do know that, right?

well i cant say about the $300 but what i do know is that they pay well over N20k but agencies get the bulk of it

free2ryhme:
if you stay in Lagos. it is possible to verify these claims

I don't need to stay in Lagos to verify these claims. Just give me the information on the companies you mean and I can contact them to verify the claims.

Kobojunkie:

I don't need to stay in Lagos to verify these claims. Just give me the information on the companies you mean and I can contact them to verify the claims.

well that is way out of my reach! but i know someone who is in it and i know how much he earns well i prefer to keep it private

Kobojunkie:

What you are saying is that these households can afford to pay their maids $300 dollars every month, you do know that, right?

Engaging the services of househelps in lagos is actually far cheaper than that. . .
Boys and girls are consentedly imported from Togo and Cotonou to work for money. . .

PLease you guys should stop saying that American women work harder than Nigerian women, when u know the truth. the only reason American women dont hire maids and stress themselves with all the house work is because THEY CANT AFFORD IT. they wish they can get a maid, but they know they cant afford it and some that can afford it are just too stingy to do so. If you guys lived in Nigeria wont you have hired a help?? anyway i know when u cant have something, the next thing people tend to do is to beef. Nigerian ladies are not lazy, we are opportune to have cheaper labor here and we make use of it. So all u guys beefing go hug transformer [color=#006600][/color][color=#990000][/color

@kobo, the live in helps here in lekki earn between 12 to 17K. The agents take the first months pay or it could be split and paid over 3 months or so but they must collect a full months pay from the help.

@topic, I have an undergraduate help. Doesn't live with me, works 2pm to 6pm Monday to Fridays , 9am to midday Saturdays and takes home a decent pay.

She's happy, I'm happy, my kids are well catered for.

I just remembered an episode from DESPERATE HOUSE-WIVES where 'LYNETTE', one of the characters and a career woman coping with raising four wild children and satisfying her demanding superiors at the office, lost her mind and ran outta her home.

@ kobo-junkyard

If anybody genuinely feels they need help, they have a right to get it as long as it is legal.

If you disagree, then go fuc.k yourself.

I just remembered an episode from DESPERATE HOUSE-WIVES where 'LYNETTE', one of the characters and a career woman coping with raising four wild children and satisfying her demanding superiors at the office, lost her mind and ran outta her home.

@ kobo-junkyard

If anybody genuinely feels they need help, they have a right to get it as long as it is legal.

If you disagree, then go fuc.k yourself.

breezy047:

Engaging the services of househelps in lagos is actually far cheaper than that. . .
Boys and girls are consentedly imported from Togo and Cotonou to work for money. . .

You mean Child labor/aka Slavery? And paying them less than minimum wage, which is against the law, even in Nigeria?

ifyalways: @kobo, the live in helps here in lekki earn between 12 to 17K. The agents take the first months pay or it could be split and paid over 3 months or so but they must collect a full months pay from the help.

Isn't that less than minimum wage?

Kobojunkie:

Isn't that less than minimum wage?

rest this matter haba! abi u wan do omo-odo ni ... na wa ooo

free2ryhme:

rest this matter haba! abi u wan do omo-odo ni ... na wa ooo

it is slavery to subject others to less than even that determined to be the minimnum necesssary to sufficiently survive.. . . . what part of that is beyond you?

well, i have a maid, it's really not slavery, she kinda assists around d house with me, jus a helping hand basically, and d major reason is so my husband n i can have time to ourselves, basically go on dates, cinemas, esp wen my son's sch's on break, n i treat her like my younger sister not as a maid, cos wen u maltreat ur child will end up being d scape goat. They r humans not slaves. P.s she is 20, n earns a salary of 20k a month, minus crdts, toilteries, n co get's time off weekends to go see her families. She's basically free. N she's bin wit us for 4months, my first help, since i got married. N yes, washing machine n other app, she uses in d house. So generally it's not bad having a live in maid.

Kobojunkie:

it is slavery to subject others to less than even that determined to be the minimnum necesssary to sufficiently survive.. . . . what part of that is beyond you?

dont you think u are taking it a little beyond necessary u've made your point rest na.. or is there anything to this matter ..

free2ryhme:

dont you think u are taking it a little beyond necessary u've made your point rest na.. or is there anything to this matter ..

I will continue for as long as I want to. . . this is a forum not a debate hall that closes at a certain time of the day.

Now back to the issue. Please learn to think of those you call maids as human beings who are themselves trying to fend for themselves and in some cases their families. If someone shortchanged you of your right, would you brush it aside as well?

Kobojunkie:

I will continue for as long as I want to. . . this is a forum not a debate hall that closes at a certain time of the day.

Now back to the issue. Please learn to think of those you call maids as human beings who are themselves trying to fend for themselves and in some cases their families. If someone shortchanged you of your right, would you brush it aside as well?

is there anything you can do about this. you of all pple shld know this society well shish

free2ryhme:

is there anything you can do about this. you of all pple shld know how this society too well shish

So because the society is the way it is-shish . . .I should stop condemning what I know is against the law? Has it ever occured to you that the reason the society is the way it is-shish is because people like you accept and allow it?

@Kobojunkie,thank God u are not my husband cos u would have been screaming on me to get the laundry I did yesterday ironed instead of lying down and claiming exhaustion.
I'm almost 8mths pregnant and its a low lying foetus,which means sitting gives me pelvic pains so I'm adviced to lie down most of d time but then I have 2kids,go to school monday to saturday and have been alone for 5 out of d 8mths cos hubby got bizness to handle.I can't call on my mom cos she's not so strong health-wise and I dnt leave in Nigeria too.And I can't ccall mother-inlaw so no one will say I'm using them.I've been forming super-woman and right now my doctor says I'm suffering from exhaustion(I thought it was more serious cos I get tired,weak and my heart palpitates very fast when I do very minor work,even ordinary eating)I have to stop,breath in and out severally before I continue(imagine how labor wll be if I dont get a help now and start resting before d Dday)And if I collapse one day or can't bring forth my young,u'll be one of those who'll call me names.And mind u,not everyone can cope with a lot of stress.the people abroad(whites and blacks alike)just can't afford helps,the ones who can,have them and I know so many.I also know others who wish they could have one too.Our granny's had siblings,relatives,neighbors kids who they could send on errands,dnt 4get that.Can't wait for my own help who's coming next week...lazy me*according to Kobojunkie*

amazed at what am reading here. is it not clear to us that human beings are the same everywhere. its only the environment that direct our actions. Someone mentioned here that women who do things themselves as soon as they get to Nigeria theu wld get a maid.

My take is therefore that the only reason ppl don't use maids abroad is because its not cheap or outrightly not available.
Can bet my last bucks that these self righteous women wld be the first to get maids given the opportunity :Damazed at what am reading here. is it not clear to us that human beings are the same everywhere. its only the environment that direct our actions. Someone mentioned here that women who do things themselves as soon as they get to Nigeria theu wld get a maid.

My take is therefore that the only reason ppl don't use maids abroad is because its not cheap or outrightly not available.
Can bet my last bucks that these self righteous women wld be the first to get maids given the opportunity
I've come to see that the human is worse than animals. we claim to have human feelings bt there is really nothing like. Look at the world 2day. Take Syria as an example. Human beings are WICKED! Therefore given the opportunity will slave their maids. So enough of all this self righteous talks and get back to the topic- WHICH IS BETTER? LIVING OR NON LIVE IN HOUSEKEEPERS