Hello people

I am a lady who loves being independent,a lady who loves taking care of her business and not always relying solely on her man to provide everything for her. I've always wanted to support my husband when I get married but right now,that isn't the case...

I just got engaged and my fiance and i are planning our wedding but,I'm feeling bad cuz he is gonna be taking care of everything and I won't be able to support him cuz,i'm not working now... Plz I want the married ladies here to share with me their experiences and the men,how they felt when marrying their wives that weren't working.

beqs101: Hello people

I am a lady who loves being independent,a lady who loves taking care of her business and not always relying solely on her man to provide everything for her. I've always wanted to support my husband when I get married but right now,that isn't the case...

I just got engaged and my fiance and i are planning our wedding but,I'm feeling bad cuz he is gonna be taking care of everything and I won't be able to support him cuz,i'm not working now... Plz I want the married ladies here to share with me their experiences and the men,how they felt when marrying their wives that weren't working.

you are not working now because you're a student? you can't get a job? you're disabled or what? if its a temporary issue, any reasonable man would understand that but you can't afford to let it go past 18-24 months!

Your condition is temporary! If you are a graduate you'll defintley get a job with time.

I can see your fiance doesn't mind so I wouldnt be too worried if I were you.

Just don't 'relax' and and expect him to take care of you for the rest of your life.

Aside from financial independence, a lot of fufilment and self worth can come from having a job as a woman!

Goodluck to you!

coogar:

you are not working now because you're a student? you can't get a job? you're disabled or what? if its a temporary issue, any reasonable man would understand that but you can't afford to let it go past 18-24 months!

See this one giving timeline. You keep job for am?

The idea is to keep trying for as long as it takes to get a job. And keep adding value to yourself.

Ask a lot of graduate roaming the streets for 5 years looking for jobs and you'll know it's not that easy![b][/b]

Ujujoan:
See this one giving timeline. You keep job for am?

so if it takes 10 yrs, she can sit back n do nothing for 10 yrs? come on, be realistic..... she doesn't have to be in a 9-5 to make income. there are plenty of stuff she can be doing by the side to make ends meet!

The idea is to keep trying for as long as it takes to get a job. And keep adding value to yourself. Ask a lot of graduate roaming the streets for 5 years looking for jobs and you'll know it's not that easy!

wait for 5 yrs to get a job? na chevron job? no wonder the average nigerian marriage is hubris these days. why wait 5 yrs to get a N50,000 per month job? this is nigeria we are talking about with no job security - let her go into business and make income instead of waiting forever at home piling up adipose tissues!

Op,since your fiance is not complaining,i don't see what you are worried about.
He knows you aren't working before setting marriage plans in motion and its not like your are forcing him.
He can afford it..let him.
As long as you are not just folding your arms waiting for a miracle job to come to you,you should have no worries.
Keep trying you get something doing while supporting him in other ways you can.
Goodluck!

coogar:

so if it takes 10 yrs, she can sit back n do nothing for 10 yrs? come on, be realistic..... she doesn't have to be in a 9-5 to make income. there are plenty of stuff she can be doing by the side to make ends meet!



wait for 5 yrs to get a job? na chevron job? no wonder the average nigerian marriage is hubris these days. why wait 5 yrs to get a N50,000 per month job? this is nigeria we are talking about with no job security - let her go into business and make income instead of waiting forever at home piling up adipose tissues!

I never said she should sit back and do NOTHING. Adding value to ones' self is not exactly 'doing nothing'!

So I ask you, if even receptionist work no come within 2 years, what should she do

I agree that one can go into business but someone with no interest of biz acumen will end up wating h/her capital while trying to make money! I use my humble self as reference

Ujujoan: Your condition is temporary! If you are a graduate you'll defintley get a job with time.

I can see your fiance doesn't mind so I wouldnt be too worried if I were you.

Just don't 'relax' and and expect him to take care of you for the rest of your life.

Aside from financial independence, a lot of fufilment and self worth can come from having a job as a woman!

Goodluck to you!

Yes Uju I'm a graduate but,I'm yet to do my N.Y.S.C...I didn't just know i will get married this soon.. I'm excited about it though..i won't just relax and thanks for the advice..

beqs101:

Yes Uju I'm a graduate but,I'm yet to do my N.Y.S.C...I didn't just know i will get married this soon.. I'm excited about it though..i won't just relax and thanks for the advice..

You are welcome ni . . . Don't mind coogar jor . . . putting you on high jump!

But please, don't slack in making yourself useful. Men can change when the responsibilities on running a home starts piling up. You hubby may not really understand the fianancial commitment he's getting into now and reality can make him go nasty.

Try as much as you can not to be extravargant especially with the wedding!

Try and encourage him to save and and spend less on non-neccesities!

Dont go demanding for BB and ipad and brazillian hair and designer clother, just cos he can afford them now!

Buidling a home is EXPENSIVE, especially here in Nigeria.

I'm sure you guys will be fine!

beqs101:

Yes Uju I'm a graduate but,I'm yet to do my N.Y.S.C...I didn't just know i will get married this soon.. I'm excited about it though..i won't just relax and thanks for the advice..

I was a student myself. Don't stress yourself. Some men know this before they propose and are able to carry you along for as long they financially can.

Ujujoan:
I never said she should sit back and do NOTHING. Adding value to ones' self is not exactly 'doing nothing'! So I ask you, if even receptionist work no come within 2 years, what should she do

forget 9-5 and do some petty business. what business acumen does she need in buying and selling? import products and sell at a profit - that doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out! an idle mind is dangerous in any marital home!

I agree that one can go into business but someone with no interest of biz acumen will end up wating h/her capital while trying to make money! I use my humble self as reference

there has to be a way out! 2 yrs without doing anything? trouble looms!

[sub][/sub]

coogar:

forget 9-5 and do some petty business. what business acumen does she need in buying and selling? import products and sell at a profit - that doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out! an idle mind is dangerous in any marital home!



there has to be a way out! 2 yrs without doing anything? trouble looms!

Ok, I hear you!

Stingy man!

Ujujoan: [sub][/sub]
Ok, I hear you!
Stingy man!

stingy ke? i spoil my wife, don't even go there!!!

^^^ I bet you do!

Wonder if the case would be same if she wasn't working!

My Sister bikonu...GO and LOOK for a JOB or start a trade!!! Don't say nobody warned you...cause when your hubby's eyes opens and he start resenting you for draining his financial resources and making no contribution to your family welfare we will hear another story. Your conscience is already giving you warning signals. Ignore at your peril.

beqs101: Hello people

I am a lady who loves being independent,a lady who loves taking care of her business and not always relying solely on her man to provide everything for her. I've always wanted to support my husband when I get married but right now,that isn't the case...

I just got engaged and my fiance and i are planning our wedding but,I'm feeling bad cuz he is gonna be taking care of everything and I won't be able to support him cuz,i'm not working now... Plz I want the married ladies here to share with me their experiences and the men,how they felt when marrying their wives that weren't working.

You are not alone, its a widespread thing among women nowadays

What!!!!!! Osanobua! Chineke. The poster cannot not be a Nigerian girl. No way. Lai lai.

The natural order is for the man to be the provider. So I do not see this as an issue. I would be more worried if the reverse was the case.

U shud b happy u found a man or else, u n ur independent wud 've been single for d rest of ur lyf.

you are going to be embarrassed with job but never forget to testify

Princek12: What!!!!!! Osanobua! Chineke. The poster cannot not be a Nigerian girl. No way. Lai lai.

LMBO! Guy u talk am, but to be sincere there are some gems in the dirt that we call Nigeria, some really good women, with good hearts and great minds.

The overflow of devils taint their luster so much but they are there. May you find such a queen too my brother

Do u want 2 quit d marriage

me never marry so i no fit talk jare

somebodybobo: Someone who hears you talk abt this would think you are really feeling for him, whereas u dont care ...BARAWO BANZA

:oits unbelievable right. some babes dey o brav. its in their caring nature as women. poverty and deep havent eaten that deep into the land. u need to have faith to keep your sanity. besides this one feels true.

I even thought you were a man. This is not a big deal, most nigerian marriages are financed by the men because they see it as an obligation.
It is good that you're worried about you lack of financial contribution towards the wedding, at least it shows that you understand what modern relationships are about.
Love your husband and take care of him, I pray he reciprocates. Goodluck

somebodybobo: Someone who hears you talk abt this would think you are really feeling for him, whereas u dont care ...BARAWO BANZA

LWTMB.....

somebodybobo: Someone who hears you talk abt this would think you are really feeling for him, whereas u dont care ...BARAWO BANZA

My dear sis...its a good thing that u have found a man now but the problem is that he maybe capable of taking care of the finances now but I bet you when it gets to the point that he won't be able to do that again because he his not getting support from you...then problem begins and u will be the one to remind me that why did he take u away from your parent when he his not ready...The only way this can work out is that you talk to him to get u some funds and u can start up a petty trade with that...with that u don't have to wait for him to come before u buy a c'mon Garri.Wedding plans shouldn't be extravagant and u can help him by not being too demanding till you get a good Job to help the family with....God help u in ur quest